27th October 1949 (pt. 1)

Chapter 7

When we reached home I saw Jade clutching Jasmine to her chest and whispering to her to be a good girl, the little child looked terrified and I saw her tiny hands tighten around her mother's neck, behind me, Norma watching my every move like a hunter watches his prey.

"Mummy, who is the lady?" Jasmine whispered in her mother's ear but loud enough for me to hear her.

"Her name is Perrie and she is very kind to us. You can say hello to her" Jade told her as she looked at me.

The little girl looked at me uncertainly but then raised her little hand and greeted me, I smiled warmly at her and returned the greeting.

"Hello Jasmine" I said in a reassuring voice, "My name is Perrie and I am a friend of mummy" The little girl looked at her mother to decide if I was telling the truth and I saw Jade nod, she looked back at me but said nothing else and like her grandmother, followed my every move.

I invited the two women to sit down and relax as I headed to the kitchen to prepare dinner. Shortly after I came back and began to set the table, I saw Jade get up and come towards me to help me but I forbade it and told her to use that time to rest.

An hour later I was done, I headed back to the living room and saw Jade sleeping on the couch while Norma played with her niece and answered her questions about why they were there.

"You see, that girl is going to host us here for a few days because mummy is not well and needs to rest" Norma told her looking at me carefully.

"A-are we safe here?" the little soul asked her and my heart broke at those words thinking that the little girl was so terrified of strangers and me.

"Yes. Jas, we are safe" the grandmother reassured her but then looked at me suspiciously hinting that she had no confidence in me.

I told her it was ready and she woke Jade, the brunette rubbed her eyes and frowned as she wrinkled her nose making her the cutest thing I had ever seen.

I invited the three Thirlwall women to sit at the table and saw their hesitant looks but then they were convinced and took their seats, I brought some bread and roast chicken with a vegetable casserole hoping they would like it and served it with potatoes.

I saw Jade's eyes light up and Norma also betrayed herself when a smile tugged at her lips but she quickly tried to hide it.

I handed the plate with the food to Jasmine who looked at me dumbfounded, "Is this all for me?" she asked her mother who nodded with a huge smile and started cutting the food into cubes.

"Jasmine, thank Perrie" she whispered in her ear.

The little girl turned to me with a blush on her cheeks and without looking at me whispered a thank you to which I replied with a smile.

We ate in silence as the three Thirlwalls enjoyed their first acceptable meal in heaven knows how many weeks, my idea of cooking a little more than I had to was successful when I saw them looking at each other wondering telepathically if it was possible to have an encore, to break the embarrassment I offered them another dish which they gratefully accepted, Norma too.

At the end of the dinner I led them to the guest room where there was a large king-size bed and I saw Jasmine's eyes wandering around the room with surprise and enthusiasm, I gave them towels and clothes together with bath products, wished them a good night and went back to my room, filled the bathtub and basked in the warmth of the boiling water thinking back to my meeting with Jade and with a thousand doubts about what would happen next.

Being so close to her again only brought back memories of our night together and I felt the ache between my legs return, thought of what we had shared, thought of how her lips and skin felt on mine.

Then I thought about when her mouth rested on my nipples and she began to bite and suck on them, I felt her tongue on me, I saw her gaze as she moved down to where I needed it most.

Without realising it my hand went down to where I wanted it and my fingers began to draw circles where I was most sensitive, I closed my eyes and imagined Jade's expert tongue and her slender fingers. I bit my lip as a moan came out of my mouth and I kept touching myself thinking of the woman I was in love with until I felt a strong wave of pleasure rip through my body and I had to bite my hand to keep from screaming.

When I opened my eyes again I realised what I had just done and I was ashamed of myself for having given in to desire, but the more time passed the more I began to question everything I had been taught.

I finished washing and got ready for the night, I got into bed and tried to fall asleep but without succeeding, I looked at the clock on the bedside table and saw the hours go by but in my mind only Jade and dreams of a future together existed.

I allowed myself to fantasise about a world where people like us were accepted and could live freely without having to hide behind fake smiles and marriages of convenience. Where people were not assaulted or arrested for who they loved and where they could have a happy ending.

With these thoughts I finally managed to fall asleep.

27th October 1949

The next morning I woke up bright and early and walked down the stairs to find a visibly more rested Jade carefully observing the house and in particular the bookcase. I coughed to let her know I was there and she turned around smiling at me, I heard noises not far away and turned to see Jasmine intent on playing with a doll, she looked so serene that my heart swelled.

"Good morning"

"Good morning, where is your mother?" I asked her not seeing Norma anywhere.

"At the laundry" she told me quietly, "She'll never admit it, but she was happy to sleep in a real bed last night"

I laughed at her statement and asked if she would like to join me for breakfast, she agreed and I also heard Jasmine squeal in excitement until she realised and lowered her gaze in embarrassment. I smiled at Jade for her daughter's sweetness and brought tea and chocolate along with biscuits and some slices of cake.

Like the previous evening we ate in silence but I felt less tension and saw Jasmine enjoying her breakfast, chocolate all over her face. I watched the two people in front of me and noticed all their similarities such as the way they broke the biscuit into four parts before eating it or the way they wiped their mouths by folding the napkin in three.

I smiled at the small gestures and kept observing until all three of us finished.

"Would you like to go to the park?" I asked them.

Jasmine gasped and looked wide-eyed at her mother.

"Perrie, I don't think that's a good idea" she said in a weak voice.

"I know a place. There is never anyone there and we can relax" I reassured her.

She looked uncertain but then agreed, "Fine, but if anyone comes we'll leave" she stated firmly, I nodded and told them to go and get ready, I filled a basket with some food and bottles of water and some milk. I also took some fruit and Virginia Woolf's Orlando that I was reading, some of my dolls that I had kept since I was a little girl and some blankets.

When they were ready I took them to the car and started my journey towards the English countryside, near the place where I had lived with my family during the war and afterwards, before moving to London.

An hour later we arrived at the designated place and I saw Jade's eyes go wide, "Oh my God. It's beautiful" she said and I smiled happily that she had liked my idea.

"Yes, it is" I replied, thinking of the woman next to me.

We got out of the car and I saw Jasmine's eyes open and open wide at the sight in front of her.

I took the blankets and spread them on the ground while Jade and her daughter continued to admire the view, I took the basket with food and dolls I had taken for Jasmine out of the car.

When everything was ready I sat down letting the fresh air clear my mind and I too admired the view of the place that held so many memories of my childhood and teenage years, good and bad.

Jade sat next to me and squeezed my hand resting her head on my shoulder, we remained in silence with only the sound of birds and crickets to keep us company.

"Jasmine" I caught her attention when I saw that she was still lost looking around, she looked at me fearfully but approached us, "Here, these are for you" I said smiling handing her the doll and teddy bear I had brought.

She looked at me bright-eyed and surprised but did not take any of the toys, "Really?" she asked incredulously. I nodded smiling at her and waited for her to take them, I saw her look at her mother not knowing what to do and I noticed Jade looking at me with watery eyes, then she nodded to her daughter who took the toys with trembling hands but a big smile.

"Thank you, Miss Perrie" she said shyly before running off into the pristine greenery with her new toys and laughing admiring every flower, butterfly, squirrel or other animal she saw.

"I think she's never been this happy before" Jade whispered, "Thank you. For everything"

"You don't have to thank me. I didn't do anything"

"You've done a lot" she looked at me seriously and I lost myself in the depths of her eyes, her lips just a few sighs from mine.

"You deserve so much more" I told her, turning back to look at the view. I heard her sigh and lean back against my shoulder as we both thought about the deeper meaning of those words, Jasmine's laughter brought peace to my mind as I enjoyed the warmth Jade's body next to mine emanated.

Soon after I picked up my book and started reading while Jade stayed in the same position looking at me, I saw her look up and down from the book to my face and I lowered the book a little so that it was easier for her to read but I noticed that she continued to do so, I heard her sigh as if she wanted to tell me something but she didn't dare.

"Are you all right there?" I asked her worriedly.

I saw her falter and a flash of shame filled her eyes but it quickly disappeared hidden behind a smile. She nodded and went back to looking at the view. Suddenly something occurred to me and I went back to the first chapter.

"He-for there could be no doubt of his sex, though the fashion of the time did something to disguise it-was in the act of slicing at the head of a Moor which swung from the rafters." I read aloud.

I saw Jade looking at me and a huge smile gracing her face, I read on and saw Jade quivering with excitement and listening carefully to every word.

As I went on, I heard her sigh or cheer as the story progressed. I smiled at her enthusiasm and continued reading for a couple of hours, then I marked the page and closed the book, she looked at me with sad eyes and a sweet puppy pout, "One more, please" she whispered and I couldn't deny her.

I took the book back and went on reading for another hour until it was lunchtime.

Jade gave up and called Jasmine who was having an adorable conversation with a tree and did not move until she saw the food, ran to us and threw herself into her mother's arms.

We ate the sandwiches I had made that morning and Jasmine looked at me for a long time, "Thank you, Miss Perrie" I smiled happy that she finally felt like talking to me.

"Perrie it's fine, and you're welcome, princess" she smiled and continued eating.

"Did you go to school?" Jade asked.

"Only until I was seven, when the war broke out I stayed home but my mum taught me to read, write and tried maths... unsuccessfully though" I admitted embarrassed.

Jade laughed at my blush and proceeded to eat.

"How did you know this place?"

"I used to live not far from here, so did my friend Jesy, we often came here to play when our mothers allowed us to leave the house" I sighed thinking about the other reasons as well.

"Are you alright?"

I pasted a smile on my face and nodded, "Yes. Yes, of course" I said reassuringly but she looked at me suspiciously though she didn't insist and I mentally thanked her for that.

"Thank you for this morning, Perrie. It's really beautiful here" she smiled at me and I just nodded at her.

The afternoon flew by and Jade and I talked more getting to know each other.

"So, what was your dream as a child?" she asked.

"I wanted to be a doctor" I laughed at myself and my silly dreams, Jade squeezed my hand and looked at me with empathy.

"It would be amazing if we could, wouldn't it?"

I nodded but didn't answer, I thought of Chris forbidding me to even work in a shop or as a switchboard operator and my body tensed as I remembered him and my father.

"What about you? What did you want to do?" I asked her.

"Teacher!" she smiled and I returned her amused expression, "But as you might have guessed I can't read, so..."

"I could teach you. Yes, I may not be as good as my mother but I could try" I offered sweetly.

"Would you really?" she asked with surprise painted on her face.

"Of course" I said seriously.

"Perrie, I don't want you to waste your time with me"

"Firstly, it wouldn't be a waste of time" I told her confidently, "And secondly, it would make me happy"

Jade listened to me but said nothing more, she went back to looking at her daughter and then at the book next to our legs.

"Alright, one day I'll be able to teach it to Jasmine and maybe things will change, maybe she will be able to have what I didn't" she said more to herself than to me.

I squeezed her hand and looked at her softly, I looked at Jasmine who was intent on chasing a squirrel unaware of her surroundings.

I looked back and saw Jade inches away from me, then I felt her lips on mine but I didn't move, "Sorry! Sorry I shouldn't have" she spoke wildly. In my head were thoughts of Chris and my duty as a wife, but then I thought back to my mother's tired look on my wedding day and Jesy's words when she told me I had a right to be happy.

I took Jade's face and drew her to me bringing our lips together again, I began to move in rhythm with her and felt our emotions mingle in that kiss, the need and desire for her lips on mine that had haunted me since our night together spilled over onto her lips and I let my walls fall away giving her everything I felt.

I pulled away from her and rested my forehead on hers trying to catch my breath, the warmth of her breath on my lips sent me into ecstasy and I licked my own to taste hers again.

Before we knew it we saw the sun begin to set and we grabbed all our things to go home.

Jasmine looked sad at the idea of having to leave but we promised her we would be back soon and so she was convinced to come.

Another hour's drive and we found ourselves in front of Chris and my house, we went inside and Jade took Jasmine upstairs to give her a bath, shortly after I heard a knock and went to the door, I opened it and found a tired looking Norma, I smiled at her and she looked at me indifferently as she entered the house.

"I haven't figured out your plan yet, miss, but I've got my eye on you" she told me conspiratorially and went upstairs to join her daughter.

I smiled to myself and went to the kitchen to make dinner when I heard the phone ring, I went to take the call thinking it was my mother but when I picked up the line I heard the voice of the man I hated the most day after day.

"Hello, Perrie"

"Chris" I said indifferently.

"I've been trying to call you all day, where were you?"

"I was running errands and then at the park" I lied.

"Well, I'd rather you weren't out so many hours"

"And I'd rather have a life" I shot back.

"How fucking dare you? Do I have to remind you your place?"

I laughed bitterly, "No need. Thank you for your concern"

"You watch your tone, or do I have to call your father?" I felt the blood freeze in my veins at the mention of my old man, but I tried not to let him hear it.

"Are you threatening me?" I asked with feigned confidence.

"No. But I'd be careful if I were you. You don't want to upset him"

"What did you want to tell me, Chris?" I asked him trying to change the subject and push thoughts of my father from my mind.

"Just to tell you that I won't be back until Christmas" I listened incredulously and inside I did a little dance for happiness.

"Oh, I'm sorry, dear" I said mockingly.

"Yes, I'm sure you are. Don't play with fire, Perrie. I might accept your outings and your encounters with those feminists, but you know your father won't be happy about that" he said to me and I could almost hear thoughtfulness in his tone. I laughed at myself at the idea that Chris might worry about my safety and dropped the subject to avoid arguments.

"Sure, bye Chris" I said seriously.

"Bye, Perrie"

I ended the call and rubbed my temples, I felt a hand touch my shoulder and gasped, when I turned around I found Jade and Norma with worried eyes, even the oldest Thirlwall seemed to feel empathy for the first time towards me.

"Is everything alright?" Jade asked me.

"Sure" I smiled, "Everything's fine" I tried to convince myself.

I went back to the kitchen leaving Jade and Norma behind me without explanation and set about cooking, shortly after I heard the doorbell and wondered if God wanted me to stay fasting that night. I went to the door and opened it finding my best friends in front of me, I looked at them with concern wondering why they were at my door and saw Jesy smiling at me.

"You forgot, didn't you?"

I frowned in confusion, "About?"

"The dinner! You invited us yesterday" Leigh-Anne reminded me.

"Shit!" I shouted and then realised what I had just said, I saw Jesy and Leigh's eyes go wide and I apologised for my language.

"Since when do you talk like that?" Jesy giggled and I saw the other girl smile too as a blush painted my cheeks.

"I'm sorry! And, yes, I forgot. But I have food for everyone. Come on in" I said embarrassed.

"That's fine, Pez. And who's everyone?" asked Lee.

I didn't have to answer as I saw my friends gasp as they looked at Jade and Norma gasp as they looked at my friends.

If the tension in the room hadn't been thick enough to cut with a knife, the scene would have been hilarious.

"Well... Jesy, Leigh-Anne, this is Jade, her mother Norma, and her daughter Jasmine" I pointed at the women, "Jade, Norma, these are my friends Jesy and Leigh-Anne" I introduced everyone.

"You are the girls who helped me yesterday, right?" Jade asked and I saw her mother looking at us curiously.

They nodded and went over to Jade and shook her hand, then introduced themselves to Norma who looked more confused by the minute.

Jesy dragged me into the kitchen saying she would help me with dinner while Leigh stayed with Jade and her mother in awkward silence, not even Leigh's socialising skills were of much use.

"Okay, Edwards, I want to know everything" 

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A/N - Now go and read my bestie's stories sdedwards25 ❤️

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Thank you for reading and take care 🌈🍪

- C