Chapter 43

160906

***

Minutes ago after Star left the room, Ten is still on the sofa, sitting silently. Until slowly, he felt a pain in his chest.

He remembered her face filled with pain. That moment, when he saw her crying, he wanted to hug her tight and tell her to forget what he just said. That he still loves her. But he just released her instead and asked her to leave him.

He feels frustrated and confused. He's hating the fact that he still loves her. He knew his love can overcome his anger but he still chose to be mad. Whenever he thinks that she didn't love him at all, he becomes mad. He can't accept the fact that he had been played. He can't believe it.

He became more confused after hearing her words earlier. There are lots of questions that are running in his mind right now. Like what's the meaning of what just happened. Why is she worried, or why did she say those. Everything is confusing.

He violently brushed his hair and stomped against the floor. He felt tears forming in his eyes but he immediately wiped those. He again remembered her painful expression that finally made his tears fall.

"What have I done?" He asked his self. "Ten, really? You want her away? Can you live without her?"

He wiped his tears while sobbing. He cried and cried until he decided to calm.

**

Star was crying the whole night. It was already 1 am but she's still fully awake and stressing herself with her emotions.

She's hurting. Ten's words echoes and echoes in her mind. She can't stop thinking of how he looked at her that moment.

"He wants me out of his life." She said in the middle of her sobs.

She opened her lamp and searched for something in her drawer. Then she saw the card of contact details of the talent scout from Blue Entertainment.

She sighed while composimg herself. She wants a final decision for tomorrow. She wants a wholehearted decision. So for the whole night, she thought and thought of everything.

The next day, everything seems normal. But not actually. Star is facing Sejoon who's waiting for her to speak. They're on a small office where they can have a talk.

Star slowly grabbed a folded paper from her backpack's pocket and gave it to Sejoon. Sejoon read it as a form of leave.

"You're leaving?"

"I've been thinking of it lately. And now, I finally decided, Sejoon-nim. I want to leave the company, effective today."

"But why?"

"It's because of personal matters, sir."

"Have you talked about this with Jaerim? Does he know about this?"

She remembered that day when Jaerim approached her on her first day. When he gave her forms to Gayoon and sent her to the practice room for orientation. It was months ago. It was last year.

"I'll tell him."

"Are you sure about this, Star? You're a good one! You can be a famous artist someday. You're very talented and versatile. Don't waste it."

"My decision is final, sir, and I won't let any factor to hinder it."

Sejoon sighed and nodded, "I'll pass this to the office. Please wait for the response."

They both went out of the room. Star patiently waited for the response outside the room. While waiting, she saw Yuta rushing towards her. And as he approached her, he immediately hugged her.

"I heard your plan from Seomin." He said while panting. "Why did you do it?"

Star's tears raced down her cheeks, "I can't take it anymore, Yuta. He don't want me in his life anymore."

"Star, you don't have to be affected that much." He combed her air and hugged her tighter.

"I'm sorry for being this weak."

"Star, please, don't go."

Star sobbed in his chest and hugged him back. He's one of the reasons why she wants to stay. Yuta is a good and a real friend, but as what she had said moments ago, her decision is final and he won't let any factor to hinder it.

Maybe Ten can.

Yuta joined her in waiting for the response. A few minutes more and Sejoon came back. She's now free.

"What's your plan now?" Yuta asked while they're walking on the corridors of the building.

"I'll continue my vocation as a singer. I'll be accepting Blue Entertainment's offer."

Yuta sadly nodded, "Give me your number. I want us to stay in touch."

She smiled and gave her number, "Just don't fool around and introduce yourself when you message me."

Yuta started typing on his phone. Then her phone vibrated. She grabbed it from her pocket and read the message,

'Hello! This is mountain man Yuta from Osaka! I am 21 years old, member of SM's predebut team SMROOKIES and a Japanese.'

"What's this?" She asked.

"An introduction. You asked me for an introduction, right?"

"Oh God, Yuta! You and your jokes!"

"Hahahahaha!" They just laughed at it, "At least I made you laugh at your last day here."

She smiled, "Thank you." Then they rode an elevator.

"Have you told this to your mother?"

She shook her head, "Not yet. Later, maybe."

"So where are you going now?"

They went out of the building, "To my new home."

**

The next day, NCT U finished their schedule early. Ten went in their dorm first while the other members still went to the company.

He laid on the sofa and stared on the ceiling. He started reminiscing his memories with Star. This is his routine everytime he finishes a schedule.

Someone knocked on their door so he stood and went to open it. Yuta showed up bringing a gloomy atmosphere.

"Why? Are you okay?" Ten asked him.

He entered the room and closed the door. He looked at Ten and spoke, "Ten, she already left SM."

"Who?"

"The girl you wanted to be out of your life."

"WHAT?" He said in a raised voice. He then realised what he did and calmed, "Well, that's better."

"And you're fine with it? You made her leave! That's what you asked her, right? She just followed what you want! As always she only know what's the better for you!"

"What are you talking about?" He asked, confused.

"Ten, I just can't take it. She's always been thinking for your sake and only for your sake! She's ready to sacrifice even her happiness just for your happiness. Sometimes, I can't understand her."

Ten just looked at him, confused, while waiting for him to continue.

"She's a fool of love. She already forgot herself for you."

"Yuta, I can't understand. She doesn't love me."

"She loves you so much." He said. "I don' really understand why you can't see it. You're controlled by your anger."

Ten felt something in his chest after hearing from him that she loves her so much, "She loves you to the extent that she's scared that you might be expelled in the company because of your relationship with her. That your dreams might be defered, that your fans might leave you once they find out about her, that your family might be disappointed, that you might be unhappy."

"What is she thinking?" He asked himself.

"Ten, he broke up with you for your sake, she suffered those days that you're mad at her because she lied. She lied for you to let go of her. And then now, she left the company because you wanted to and for you, it's good." Yuta grabbed her shirt and started bursting out, "Ten, I saw her crying because of you yet she's happy that you're now an idol! She's been suffering for you to enjoy your career and your fans's screams, for you to reach your dreams! But in return, your glad that she left! I just can't take it anymore! She's experiencing too much pain and I can't do anything but to make her smile for a short while. She doesn't deserve this!" Yuta stopped screaming with tears.

Ten went silent and emotional as well. He remembered those days that he kept glaring at her. That all those times, she's enduring his treatment towards her. That she's really in pain during that time when she broke up with him, and when he said that he doesn't want her to come back.

"But I didn't know..."

Yuta understands. He understands that Ten doesn't know what's going on with Star. But he really can't keep it, seeing Star suffer. Perhaps, Star didn't ask him to keep it.

"Where is she?" He asked, looking worried.

"Somewhere I don't know either."

Ten slowly went near a wall and punched it as hard as he could.

"Ten, I said this because I want you to know her real reason for doing all of this. Please, think properly first before doing anything. You're on the middle of your promotions and I don't mean to ruin it with this."

Ten sighed, "I understand." He held Yuta's shoulders, "Can you take care of her for the mean time?"

"You can trust me with that."

***