Chapter 42

160905

***

"One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, eight, seven..." the dance instructor continued counting while the trainees dance on it.

Everyone has beads of sweat on their foreheads and most of them are already running out of breath. The air conditioning is good but they feel hot because of the intensity of the choreography taught to them.

Sejoon is on the side, watching the trainees. Both the Rookies and the unintroduced ones were dancing, including Star who is already planned to be introduced but no particular date yet.

He noticed that everyone's focused except for one. He fixed his stares to Star who looks flustered. She can't follow the pacing of the choreography and her feet look heavy. Her expression lacks as well. He shook his forehead for he knew that Ten still affects her.

"Okay, sit down on the floor." Sejoon said after their performance. "Base on my observation, many of you improved a lot and some are still on the same high level as they are before. Johnny, you are limiting your movements. Are you okay?"

"My back hurts, sir." He answered.

"How about you, Star?" He looked at Star who's staring on the floor while holding a bottle of water. "Star?" But she's still not responding. Kun snapped on her front. She looked at him and then to Sejoon.

"Sir?"

"Are you okay?"

"Yes, sir." She nodded.

"Amongst the people here, your performance is the poorest." He said starightforwardly.

Star gasped and lowered her head, "I'm sorry, sir."

"Please get back to your senses." He said and then dismissed them.

Yuta headed to Star's place and sat in her front. His elbow on his lower limb and his chin placed on his palm, he stared at Star.

"What's bothering you?"

Star looked around before answering. Everyone's minding their own matters, "How's Ten?"

Ten is currently in China for their first stage. It's their official debut day.

"You're worrying about him all this time?"

"Partially. I'm just thinking how is he doing." She said while playing her fingers.

Yuta smirked, "Move on."

Star looked at him and raised a brow, "I am."

"Liar." Yuta showed a goofy smile and then tapped her crown.

"I am trying." She said in a low voice.

"Avoid him. That will help." Yuta suggested.

"So it's better to leave here, right?" She asked with a smirk.

"Yah." Yuta looked mad, "Not to that point!"

She sighed and pouted, "Life can really do terrible things. See, I'm suffering with my emotional problems. It's also affecting my performance."

Yuta tapped her shoulder, "You know, you should just focus on your studies and trainings. Set him aside whenever you're doing important matters. In that way, you can at least forget him. And when you do that continuously, you can completely forget your feelings for him."

"The problem is it's not just simple "feelings". I believe this already grew into love a long ago until now."

Yuta clutched his chest, "I wish you still acknowledge that I still like you. You don't know how it hurts talking about your relationship with him." He joked but he's still acting frivolously.

"Stop that. You look stupid."

Yuta just laughed at her, "Take my advice. It works."

"Have you been in love?"

Yuta paused for a while then looked directly to her eyes, "Almost. But I managed to control it. Good thing, it didn't hurt that much." He said then showed a smile that can melt a heart. A smile that made Star smile too.

"Ugh. I miss his smile." She said then frowned.

"Before minding him, mind your performance first! You might get kicked out." He scolded her.

"That's better." She said still frowning.

Yuta sighed in disbelief. She stood and noticed that they were the only ones left in the room.

"Where are they?"

"Dinner, maybe."

"Aren't you going to eat with Hansol oppa?"

"I don't know. How about you?"

"I wanted to eat with my friends but they're gone. I guess they didn't bother to ask me after seeing you talking to me."

"So what if I'm with you?" He stood and stretched his arms while yawning.

"They might think that I'm flirting with you." She said while fixing her bag.

"What kind of friends are they?" He asked in annoyance.

"Hahaha. Kidding. Sometimes I think of myself like a flirt 'cause I'm talking to you just after breaking up with Ten. You know, a kind of perspective as if I'm not me and just a somebody judging me." She started walking towards the door.

"I don't get you."

"In short, I'm also the antagonist of myself."

"That's a clearer one." He agreed, "What kind of person is a person who's already training in SM yet wants to leave because of emotional matters? It's Star who is the antagonist of herself."

She hit him in his arm, "Don't rub it in!" Yuta just laughed at her.

**

Few days after, everything is the same for Star. She worked even harder and tried Yuta's advice.

It was dinner time and everyone's already burnt out. They had assessments today and they are all worn out. Star cracked her voice as well. She can't speak properly and if she tries to, her throat hurts.

After eating, she went out of the practice room to have a walk and digest. She saw there Doyoung and Jaehyun wearing their signature NCT U outfits. She thought that they just came from their schedule.

"Annyeonghaseyo!" She greeted them in low voice as they approached her.

"Annyeonghaseyo!"

"How's your day?" She asked them. Her eyes twitched when she felt the soar in her throat.

"It's fun." Jaehyun answered.

"Our day is not yet done. We still have rehearsals for tomorrow." Doyoung said.

"Really? Aren't you tired already?" She asked. She's worrying about their health.

"We are, but we are working hard. We have prerecording early in the morning tomorrow so we will do the rehearsal tonight." Doyoung said.

She nodded, "I see. Please, take care." She gulped and prayed for her throat to be fine soon.

"Yes, don't worry. Thank you." Jaehyun said and they continued going.

Now, she wants to see him. But she saw Yuta's irritating face instead who looks like he's ready to tease her again.

"What now?" She asked.

"I know where Ten is."

"Where?" She immediately asked in a split second.

Yuta grinned, "Password?"

She glared at him, "I'm gonna kill Yuta if he-"

"Let's go!" He suddenly rushed after hearing the word kill, plus the fact that she's glaring at her. It somehow gave him chills.

They went to the vocal room where it's quiet and peaceful. Yuta opened the door and let Star enter. She entered alone and found Ten sleeping on a sofa. He really looks tired.

"Long time no see, Chittaphon." She whispered as she walked towards him. She kneeled in his front and stared at his peaceful face.

"I missed you." She whispered, "How are you? Are you okay? Are you tired? Do you want me to sing for you? But my throat hurts." She smiled while gazing at him.

"Ten, how can you stay in my heart? It's harder and harder for me. But I know, this is all worth it. You're enjoying the stage, right?" She smiled. But she felt pain in her heart. She still feels hurt for leaving him without him knowing her real reason and that he's mad at her.

"Ten, I'm so sorry." She tried to touch his cheek but she was shocked when Ten suddenly grabbed her wrist.

He slowly opened his eyes, showing no expression.

"What are you trying to do?" He asked in a low voice, not his usual tone which is a happy and cute tone. A style of him that she loves.

"T-Ten..."

He sat and held her wrist tighter, "Why are you here? Don't you know that I despise you?"

"Ten, it hurts. Let go..." she asked in a hoarse voice.

"You're disturbing me again." He stated while looking intently in her eyes, "I want you to piss off." He leaned towards her, "Get out of my life."

Star's tears streamed down her face. She felt those words piercing in her heart. Hearing them from him with his eyes filled with anger, it torn her heart.

He violently released her wrist and signaled her to go. She slowly stood up and walked out. But before she could go out, he spoke...

"And please, don't ever come back. I don't need your existence."

***