Chapter 38

160720

***

For a week, Star secluded herself from anyone from the company. She cut off any communication from anyone, including Ten.

For the whole week, she had a simple routine. Wake up in the morning then go to school and then back to home and study. For a week, she wanted a stress-free life, and a time to think well.

However, as much as she thinks of a better choice, she always end up with the same thing, to give up Ten for the sake of him.

Star sighed on her window and it fogged up the glass. She stared on the twinkling stars of winter.

"Stars are always beautiful, whether they're on the night sky or on land."

Star gasped as she remembered Ten's words a long time ago. She knocked her head and mumbled, "Aigoo! Star! Don't be deceived!"

She felt her heart race as if it is the first time that she heard it. The feeling is the same as when he said it while looking at her eyes.

She cried inside, "You're making it harder!"

Knocks broke her silence. She looked at her door and spoke, "Come in."

The door opened and Chahyun entered. She's neither smiling nor frowning, and Star did the same. The awkwardness is still there.

"Sejoon said he's going to talk to you tomorrow," Chahyun said, and Star just nodded at her. "And about you and Ten,"

"We don't have to talk about it." Star said coldly.

"I'm really sorry for whatever I did."

"I know. I understand, and there's nothing to be sorry anymore."

"I just want to bring back what's in between us before. How we talk, how we bond, how we laugh at our own jokes... I don't want this set-up anymore." You can hear sadness from his voice and it reflects in her eyes. Star lowered her head and started thinking.

She realized that even their friendship became at risk. Everything feels so out of place.

She then looked at Chahyun and smiled, "You crazy rapping dark circle! Where have you been?" Then she smiled.

Chahyun laughed at her, "Girl, I'm no dark circle anymore!" Then she threw the pillow near her to Star's face.

Star laughed as well and then picked the pillow and threw it back to Chahyun, "In your dreams!"

**

The next day, she already went to the company for the resume of her training. She headed to Sejoon as she entered the building. She's now facing him in an empty practice room.

Sejoon is silently standing in her front with his arms crossed. He sighed before he started.

"I'll be going straight to the point." He said that broke their silence. Star looked up to his eyes before he continued, "I already knew about your relationship with Ten."

Star was taken aback. Her mind went blank and her troat felt dry. She can't think of anything to say or to react. She gulped before she spoke, "Uhm,"

"Listen to me first. I just had a hunch, and I think I just confirmed it when you were lost. Ten was really worried, and after the incident, his performance dropped, until now." Star nodded as a sign that she understands what he is trying to explain, "Star, I know you know what will cost you if you'll break the contract, right?" Star nodded once again, "You know what happened to your fellow trainees." He paused for a while but she didn't responded, "I guess you have an idea of what could be your punishment."

Star's tears started forming in her eyes. She already thought that she could be expelled. Rather, the both of them, but she don't want Ten to. She knew that being an artist is Ten's big dream, and she don't want that dream to be deferred just because of their relationship.

She now have a strong reason to break up with him.

"Sejoon-nim..."

"Yes?"

She looked directly to his eyes, "Please, don't expell Ten."

Sejoon nodded, "We don't want that either, but," Star stopped him as she kneeled on the floor with her hands raised.

"You can expell me. I'll accept my punishment. I caused a lot of trouble, I know, but please spare Ten. Please, don't expell him." Her tears fell one by one. She started crying that pinched Sejoon's heart.

Sejoon shook his head in dismay, "A victim of love..." he stated in his mind while watching Star silently crying in her knees.

"I don't want to lose you either, Star. You have a big potential as an artist, and expelling you is a hard decision, but you failed to follow what you had signed."

"I understand, sir."

"To be honest, aside from me, no one knows about your relationship." Star looked up to him with a wet face.

"Sir?"

"I can spare the both of you if I want to."

"But, sir, you can be sued."

"I know, but I'll stick to my plan."

"Plan?"

"Stand up first, please." Star slowly stood and then wiped her tears. "I want you two to stay, and you will if you'll cooperate." Star nodded as she waited for his next words, "Please talk to those who know about your relationship. Ask them to shut their mouth and forget that you two have a relationship."

Star's face brighten and so she nodded in delight.

"However, I want you and Ten to forget about your relationship too. I want you to separate and continue your journey as artists without those strings attached between you."

Star felt a cold water splashed to her. She lowered her head as she felt another set of tears forming on his eyes again.

"I... u-understand, sir." She timidly said.

Sejoon sighed first before he said his last words, "I will be leaving now. I am hoping for your cooperation." And then he left her alone in the room.

She silently cried and silently sobbed. She covered her mouth and clutched her chest to ease the pain she's feeling, but it doesn't make sense. She ended crying out loud. Breaking up with Ten is the worst feeling and idea for her.

**

Star climbed upstairs to the rooftop. It was a cold winter night but stars are still visible. She paused when she saw his silhouette.

She slowly walked towards him who has been waiting for her.

"Ten, " she called in a low voice.

Ten looked at his back and saw Star. He immediately walked towards her and hugged her tight, "Geez! I missed you a lot!"

Star started crying as memories flashed back. She missed him too. His smile, his hug, his presence, his laugh, his face, his all! She wanted to hug him back but it will be harder for her to say what she suppose to say.

Ten pulled off the hug and cupped her cheeks, but he then frowned to see her cheeks soaked with tears. "What happened?"

"Ten..." she finally spoke.

Ten already felt that something bad will happen. So he hugged Star and combed her hair. He became nervous, he thought of something. "Star please prove me wrong." He whispered while seeking for some hope.

"Ten," she pushed him and looked at his eyes. His eyes that are full of pain just by thinking of the worst scenario for tonight. "Please, understand."

"No. I won't!" He immediately said.

"Ten, listen to me. We..." she paused as she hesitated to say the words she hated to say, "We have to... b-break up."

"Star, no! What's the matter? Why all of a sudden?" He held her shoulders to fight back his rising emotions. Tears started forming in his eyes.

"Ten, just... just look at the picture! You'll soon be an idol! You will soon debut as a member of NCT. We have a contract that we signed and it is clearly stated there that we can't be in a dating relationship or whatsoever with romantic love!"

"Well, we already disobeyed it." He said.

"And imagine your life as a rookie artist! Having a girlfriend while starting a career will be hard. See it yourself! Imagine it. It will be hard for you. Plus, there' will be lots of reporters, paparazzis and sasaeng fans that will break in your private life. What if they will discover the thing about us? It will mess up your career! It will be hard for you to reach your dream."

It's hard for her to say words that encourages her love to stop their relationship. It's like suicide.

"Star, I don't care about them!"

"How about your fans that are always supporting you? Those who are believing in you and your talent. They will be disappointed once they find out that you're dating someone for this early!"

"Star... don't be like that." As much as Ten don't want to listen to her, he knew she has a point.

"Ten, please think about it. Don't let our relationship ruin them all." She's been crying the whole time but she didn't stop, "Ten, it will be harder for me if I'll be the reason of your damages. You have a family that is supporting you from Thailand. They're putting their expectations high on you!"

Ten shook his head. His dilemmas are rumbling in his mind.

"Star, no. I love you. I don't want to lose you." He hugged her tight as if it's the last time.

Star cried harder. "So stubborn!" It's making it harder for her.

And then an idea came out from her mind.

"Ten, forgive me. I don't want to say this but..."

"You love me? Ten, I don't want to lie anymore." Ten pulled off from the hug.

"What do you mean?"

"Ten, all this time, I didn't love you."