Panic

That night was rough. I arrived home, knowing damn well that I reeked of anxiety, and stress. I was thankful, of course, that Derek had been released from jail, but knowing that the dead body Scott and I had found was Laura's left me hunched on the bathroom floor, hands gripping the porcelain rim tightly. I absently looked over at my phone, laying discarded on the counter. I wanted to text Derek, ask him for help, or just to talk. I missed Blaise, more than I would care to admit. But I had no right to drag him into the mess that I was currently wrapped up in.

But the empty house made me want to scream. The walls felt like they were closing in around me, tightening their grip around my chest until I couldn't breathe. I fumbled for my phone, knowing that I needed help, someone, before I completely started to drown in my panic. My fingers pressed the contact name, bringing the phone to my ear. My breathing was short and ragged, and my eyes were half shut as the line rang.

"Cassie? What's up?" His voice was confused, and it sounded like I had woken him up.

"Stiles-" my voice was breathless and I could barely get them out.

"Cassie, what's wrong? Where are you? Are you hurt?" He sounded more frantic now, and I could hear him scrambling out of bed.

"No, panic attack. Help" I muttered, eyes shut as I leaned my head back against the wall. I was still hanging on to the edge of reality, but I genuinely couldn't breathe anymore. My phone slipped from my hand, clattering onto the tiled floor.

"Cassie! Cassandra stay on the line I swear. I'm in my car, I'll be there in like 3 minutes," He called, but his voice sounded like it was underwater, and I was already miles away.

I wasn't sure if it actually took three minutes for Stiles to get to me, but then he was shutting my front door and racing up my stairs. "Cassie!" he called out again, but I couldn't even bring myself to reply, my ragged breathing probably alerting him to my position anyways. He scrambled into the room, sliding down in front of me.

This wasn't me or Stiles' first encounter with panic attacks. He had them starting when his mom died, and I got them frequently after my parents' deaths. We both knew how to deal with them, but in the moment, we'd just get overwhelmed and can't pull ourselves together and out of it. That's why we had eachother, to pull the other out of drowning.

He grabbed both of my hands, pulling my nails out of the fragile skin of my palms. He gently uncurled my fingers, running his fingers along the divots from my nails.

"Cassie, you need to breathe. You're going to pass out, and that's not gonna help," he said calmly, but as my eyes met his, I could see the panic in them.

I tried to inhale again, but the breath caught in my throat, and I coughed. I hadn't even realized I was crying until his hands left mine to brush the tears off my cheeks, gently cupping my face. Once he realized nothing else was working, he pulled me into his chest, my cheek pressed against his shirt.

"Okay, okay. You're gonna listen to my heartbeat. Block everything else out, just listen to that." I did as I was told, closing my eyes tightly, focusing on the steady rhythm of his heartbeat. 1 2 1 2. Over and over. I finally felt my own breathing steady in him with the rise and fall of his chest, and after a few more minutes I pulled away.

"That was a bad one, huh?" he asked softly, his eyes scanning my face for any glimpse of what had set it off. I nodded weakly, drying my cheeks with the sleeve of my hoodie. "You wanna talk about it?" he asked after two beats of silence.

I paused for a moment, knowing that I wanted to say no, shove it all back down. But that wouldn't help. I nodded, looking up at him. "I knew Laura, she was like a big sister to me. And I've spent the last two weeks trying so hard to be there for Scott that I haven't even considered everything that's happened to me. And it all kinda hit me tonight. And then suddenly I couldn't breathe." The words kind of spilled out of me, and I hadn't really meant to say all of them.

I saw Stiles' face drop slightly, and I could tell he was guilty. "Cassie, you know that you could have said something..." He mumbled, and I flashed him a weak smile.

"I didn't want to bother you. Scott needed us both more than I did." I said, forcing myself to not start crying again.

"Cassandra, I am promising you that I will do everything I can to help you figure out what you are capable of, and whatever else you need. And if you don't want that, I just promise to be a better friend than I have been the last two weeks, okay? That sound good?"

I nodded, a strangled sob escaping my lips. I was so incredibly thankful for Stiles, even with everything that was going on. He laughed weakly, pulling my back against him and into a hug. "I got you Cassie, and I'm not going anywhere. I promise." he mumbled into my hair, rubbing his hand in large circles across my back.

I nodded again, letting my eyes shut and my body relax in his arms. I knew he would stay until I fell asleep, so I just let myself try to sleep. God knows I needed it. After a few minutes of silence, he gently scooped me up in his arms, carrying me from the bathroom to my bed. He pulled the covers back and placed me under them, giving me a small smile.

"I'll see you at school in the morning, try to sleep alright?" he said softly. I nodded, an almost inaudible thank you slipping past my lips. My body embraced the warmth of the covers as I heard the door click behind him, and not even a moment later, sleep overcame me.

If only I could say that I slept well. However, with my luck, I didn't even get that.

I woke up in somebody else's house, the air was cold, and it sent shivers down my spine. I looked around, carefully trying to take in every detail. It wasn't a house that I had ever been in, at least not that I remember. I pursed my lips as I went to step forward, exploring the room around me, but it seemed as if I was glued into place. Apparently this dream was just for me to observe.

After a few moments of silence, I heard a car door slam and voices approaching the house. "Arabella! Damien! Listen!" I froze, my heart dropping in my chest, realizing that whatever this dream is, it was going to involve my parents.

"Peter! I'll be damned if I let you bring my child into this! I don't care about some prophecy or legacy, or any stupid hunters. You will not touch them, is that understood? Ever!" My mothers voice was clear as day as she strode into the room, followed by my father and Peter. They all looked younger than I ever remembered seeing them, and after a second I realized that my mother was holding a baby swaddled in silver and rose colored blankets. Then I realized that the baby was probably me. Tears welled up in my eyes, just at the sight of me and my parents. I swallowed them down, focusing back in on the scene in front of me.

"I know you two want to keep her safe and tell her when she's older, and that's great, but you might not be around long enough to do that. You know the threats and rising tensions just as well as I do. You aren't safe, and neither are Cassandra or Blasie." Peter explained, trying to reason with my parents.

"How we raise our children is of no concern to you Hale." My father spat, glaring at the other man,

"It is when her fate impacts MY FAMILY."

My mothers face darkened, and in the moment, I realized how much I look like her when I'm angry. "We came here as a courtesy, and now we're leaving." she said, her voice much calmer. "When you have pulled yourself together, then we can talk, okay?" She tilted her head towards the door and walked out, followed closely behind by my father.

Peter watched the door slam, dropping down into a chair. He looked angry, but more than that, he looked tired. My chest ached ever so slightly for him. I remembered Peter, of course. He was always very cold and distant from me, but adored Blaise. It hurt my feelings as a kid, but Talia and Laura loved me, so it didn't really matter. But now, it seemed like he hated me for a reason, a reason that I desperately needed to figure out.

The next thing I knew I was sitting straight up in my bed, gasping for breath. At Least I didn't have a horrible drawing to go along with the nightmare this time. I exhaled slowly, checking the time. I still had a bit of time before I needed to leave for school, so I carefully slid out of bed, my bare feet padding on the floor. I grabbed my phone off the bathroom floor and sent Derek a quick text. 'I had a dream last night involving Peter and my parents. We need to talk, because I want answers'.

I checked my phone, replying to Lydia and Jackson about movie night, as well as Danny about a Chem project. Then I got ready, pulling on light blue jeans, a soft rose colored sweater, and my leather jacket and boots. Looking over myself in the mirror, I didn't actually look that bad, all things considered.

I nodded, grabbing a granola bar and my back pack before heading off to school. I pulled in beside Stiles, who had Scott in the passenger seat. Stiles gave me a questioning look and head tilt, to which I replied with a small nod and weak smile. We all got out of the cars, falling into step as we walked into school.

"Scott, everything okay?" I asked, seeing the panicked look on his face. He shook his head, walking much faster than either of us.

"I had a dream last night, about Allison. We were on a bus and we were making out and then suddenly I went full wolf, and basically killed her. I think. I don't know."

"But it was just a dream?" I asked, and he shook his head.

"I don't know, I don't think so..."

"So you killed her?" Stiles asked, causing me to slap him on the arm.

"I don't know! I was sweating like crazy and I couldn't breathe. I've never had a dream where I woke up like that before." Scott explained.

"Really? I have. Usually ends a little differently." Stiles commented.

I groaned, but Scott was nicer. "A, I mean I've never had a dream that felt that real, and B, never give me that much detail about you in bed again."

"Noted, let me take a guess here though."

"I know, you think it has something to do with me going out with Allison tomorrow. Like I'm gonna lose control and rip her throat out."

"No, of course not," Stiles said, but then sighed and corrected himself. "Yeah, that's totally it."

"Hey. come on. It's gonna be fine, alright," I said, gently placing a hand on Scott's shoulder. "Personally I think you're handling this pretty freaking amazingly. You know, it's not like there's a lycanthropy for beginners class you can take." I said, trying to lighten the mood.

"Yeah, not a class, but maybe a teacher." Scott said lowly.

"Who? Derek?" Stiles slapped Scott upside the head. "You forgetting the part where we got him tossed in jail?"

"Yeah, I know, but chasing her, dragging her to the back of the bus, it felt so real." He explained to us.

"How real?" I asked quietly.

"Like it actually happened..." He said, pushing the door open to get to our first class.

I froze first at the sight before me, my voice catching in my chest. A school bus was completely destroyed, the back door hanging off and blood everywhere. My heart dropped, and immediately I went to text Allison, my hands shaking.

"I think it did," Stiles said, his eyes wide.