Chapter 11: Operation Igglepiggle

'Mein Führer?'

Hitler gently removed his trembling fingers from his face as the the door swung open to reveal...

'IGGLEPIGGLE!!!!! HERMY G!!! DA REAL HEINRICH-H!!!' Adolf sprung to his feet, bouncing up and down in excitement. 'You guys came to save me, ja! Oh mein Gott!'

'It's good to see you, mein Führer,' grinned Da Real Heinrich-H.

'Ja, it's been a while.' Hermy G helped Adolf to his feet. 'Did you really think we'd leave you here?'

Igglepiggle did not break into a smile. 'Save the sentimentalities for later,' he said gruffly, 'for now, let's focus on getting out of here...'

Adolf started towards the open door.

'Nein!' hissed Igglepiggle, 'the (British) guards will be back from their eight o'clock orgy before we can make it to the stairs. This is the way...' He gestured towards the cruel, metal bars.

Hermy G was already a work, pulling a welding power supply from his pocket as he stretched his long and bony fingers through the bars. With a burst of flames, the metal began to collapse in on its itself like a guy with depression jumping into an active volcano.

The rope was ready. Hermy G fastened it to the now socket-less window pane, tossing the other end over the edge. The Thames below was black, unforgiving.

'We climb,' Igglepiggle ordered.

One by one, they descended. Da Real Heinrich-H had to go first, his large frame threatening to rip the room from the tower. Hermy G followed. 

Adolf stepped forward, glancing nervously into the depths below. 'Igglepiggle, I can't do i-'

'Stop!'

A guard stood at the battlements above, raising his rifle. A shot cracked through the night.

Igglepiggle grabbed Hitler by his mustache and yanked him over the edge just as the bullet plunged into the floor where he had previously been standing. They plunged into the icy river, the cold knocking the air from Adolf's itty bitty lungs.

Triumphantly, Igglepiggle surfaced, kicking toward the waiting boat where Da Real Heinrich-H and Hermy G were already pulling themselves aboard. Adolf followed, spluttering.

Another shot whizzed overhead.

Igglepiggle grabbed Hitler's skinny wrist, dragging him onto the boat. 'Row!' he barked at the other two men.

The Tower's alarm bells clanged behind them, but the fog was thick, swallowing them whole. In the disappearing tower, stood Winston Churchill angrily banging his fist into the wall as he watched the four Germans disappear into the night.