chapter 10 - please, I need you

(Fanart Credits: @Fiinako_Hou on Twitter)

"Congratulations to Tessa for graduating from the Academiya" exclaimed Lisa as everyone raised their cups and glasses for me.

Once I arrived back to Mondstadt, the news spreaded quickly. By the time I noticed, a little celebration was organized. The usual people were there at Angel's share: Diluc, Kaeya, Rosaria, Lisa, Jean, Eula. And Eula even brought that Amber girl, she was fun. Even Albedo visited for a couple minutes.

We had one drink after another, most of us got really tipsy.

"Look at you, Tessa" said Kaeya as he put his arms around me. "Seems like you can use that pretty head of yours"

I knew he meant it as a compliment, but Diluc was rolling his eyes. "Leave her alone, Kaeya"

Kaeya just smirked. He was a little cold tonight, and he just started to loose up a little. I still didn't understand what did I do to upset him, but it seemed like he tried to put those feelings away.

"I need some fresh air" I said and went outside. The night was chilly, autumn started showing itself. And my birthday is coming up. I thought. But I will probably celebrate it here anyway, at Angel's share. Nothing out of the ordinary.

I was away for quite a long time, leaning to the tavern's wall, near the back door. We had the whole tavern for us tonight, on occasions like this we usually used the back door. I heard that door opening, I thought that Rosaria came outside to smoke a cigarette. But I heard Jean's and Diluc's voice.

"What a night, right?" asked Jean. "Tessa came back and she changes everyone for the better without moving her fingers. That girl is special" I couldn't help but blush at her words. Praise from one of the most important people from Mondstadt is really a treasure.

"Yeah, I guess" answered Diluc. I couldn't see them, I only heard their voices. "You changed as well, you... never were frequent at the tavern"

"But this is a special occasion"

They were quiet for seconds, then Diluc continued with an unusual softness in his voice.

"Anyway... thank you... for the other day"

"N-no need" interrupted Jean. "I would do it again for you"

I turned pale. What are they talking about? Why am I even eavesdropping on them?

My heart raced in my chest as it hit me...

Diluc hates the knights... but he is always different around Jean.

Maybe... there's something between them. Thinking of it... we knew Jean since we were kids. And she was there after Crepus died, while I wasn't. Who knows, maybe she comforted him when he needed it. Maybe that's the help they were talking about. I didn't want to jump to conclusions, I am a researcher after all, but... it would be logical. As I heard, people were trying to force their daughters on him, but he refused. The reason might be that his heart is already occupied, but Jean is busy with her work.

And honestly, Jean is perfect for him. Beautiful, smart, kind hearted, reliable and she is from a good, well-known family. Everyone loves her and respects her.

My thoughts raced in my head, I missed some parts of their conversation. I snapped back when I heard my name again.

"...Tessa. It seems like you are getting close again" said Jean.

Diluc sighed. "It's not like it was before. We are technically strangers now trying to get to know each other. I don't think we will ever be close again."

I slid down by the wall. My thoughts became a big, noisy mess.

I haven't realized before how much I had fallen for that man...

Hot tears rolled down on my face, as I tried to stand up. I slipped, but strong hands caught me. I heard Diluc and Jean going back inside.

I looked up to see who caught me.

I saw an icy blue eye. Kaeya.

"I..." he started, but I interrupted him.

"I don't care" I buried my head in his chest and let out the suppressed feelings.

"I heard them talking too, but I think you came to the wrong conclusion" he said, petting my hair.

"That's okay" I sniffed in his chest. "It's still reality. If it's not Jean in the future, it's someone else"

I felt devastated. My heart broke in a million pieces, Kaeya couldn't tell me anything that would change my beliefs.

I needed that. I needed to realize that I am not good enough for the man I love. He never said that, he never showed that, but I knew it deep inside.

But it hurt like hell.

"Tessa, don't be silly" Kaeya said, softly embracing me.

"I want to go home" I whispered.

"I will take you home"

"No need" I shook my head. But I really wanted him to stay with me.

"There's no way I am letting you to go home alone in this condition" he stated.

"Fine" I nodded. "Thank you"

We were quiet on the way home. I was slow, but Kaeya was patient with me. He kept his right hand on my back just for safety.

He even helped me to open my door as my hands were too shaky to hold the key.

"Will you be okay?" he asked worriedly. I wanted to say yes, but my knees collapsed under me and I continued crying. He caught me in time and embraced me tightly.

"Tessa... I... never wanted to see you like this" he sighed. "I want to punch that asshole in the face for this..."

"He didn't do anything" I argued. "He never gave me false hope. It's all my fault, I was stupid"

"No" he disagreed "He is the stupid one for not seeing how precious you are"

I stopped sobbing and looked in his eye that wasn't covered by an eyepatch. It was a beautiful, gloomy shade of blue.

"I... I think I should leave now" he said and started to stand up.

I caught his arm and pulled him back. What the hell am I doing?

I buried my head in his chest. He smelled nice. He carried the same scent as he had as a child. I can't explain it, but it was a nice scent. A calming, familiar one.

"Please, stay with me, Kaeya" I whispered in his chest.

"A-are you sure?" he stuttered.

I grabbed his shirt. "Please, I need you..."

He lifted my chin, his left thumb caressed my cheek.

"This is not how I imagined this" he whispered then leaned closer. Our foreheads touched, then our lips slowly melted together. His kiss was slow and tender, really sweet actually.

I smiled in our kiss a little. I never imagined this would happen, but I didn't mind. He let go of me, we just stared at each other for some seconds.

"Oh, wow" That's all I said.

"Oh wow?" he chuckled and raised his eyebrow. "That's..."

"Oh, shut up" I interrupted and wrapped my arms around his neck. This time I was the one kissing him. But now, he wasn't so gentle. He kissed me like he had been suffering from a hunger for a very long time.

It felt strange, but a good type of strange. He used to be my best friend, my partner in crime. I never thought we would end up in this situation.

I was aware that I was using him. To forget. To ease my pain. But honestly, he was the one who could help me. Because he knows me.

I let go to look at him. Our cheeks were burning red from our passionate kiss.

"You're beautiful" he said, touching my face.

"I'm sorry" I told him. "I..."

"No need" he shook his head. He kissed me again, but now just quickly. He picked me up and took me to the bedroom, gently placed me on the bed.

His hands started to work on my corset belt, to remove it from me. He got rid of his coat, belt and gloves and leaned down to continue our kiss.

He tasted good, really good. My hands ran up on his chest, and started unbuttoning his shirt. He slid his hand down from my side, on my thigh, I wrapped that leg around his waist. Our kiss didn't stop as I removed his shirt and started to discover his bare skin with my fingerprints.

He stopped our kiss and looked down on me. His eye was glowing as he reached for the buttons of my blouse. He hesitated.

"We can still stop, Tessa" he said. "You just have to ask"

I touched his face and removed his eyepatch. His covered eye was fine, only a scar remained on his eyebrow. "I don't want you to stop"

He leaned down to whisper in my ear. "Just promise me you won't regret anything"

I nodded and then he returned to my blouse to slowly unbutton it. His hand ran up my bare skin, I melted under his touch. I thought that his hands would be cold, but they were pleasantly warm.

The moon shone in the window, lighting up his skin, lighting up our bodies melting together between the bedsheets.

Maybe I fell in love with the wrong man.

——-

Author's note

I swear my heart literally broke writing this chapter.

Yeah like no real spicy lemon or anything, I just didn't feel like it has a place in a rather sad chapter.

I didn't put too much drama in the heartbreak part, I felt like it's more realistic this way.

Aaaanyway, I am not sure why am I explaining these things lol.

Also, I changed the book cover, I felt like the previous one wasn't fitting for this story, hope you like it. (Artist credits in the description)

Okay, I shut up now, we'll meet in next chapter

Byeee