Chapter 8- Nothing's working

[Author POV]

Jungkook began going to a therapist once every fortnight, and his therapist was seeing improvements as the weeks go by. In reality, it wasn't helping him at all.

The maknae was still distant towards his hyungs; it had been forever since they heard his cheerful voice.

When asked a question he would just nod, shrug his shoulders or say something simple in a monotone voice.

No more cheerful bunny bouncing off the walls with his endless energy.

As for Jungkook, he still felt isolated. Like no one was there. He felt stuck in his own body. He wasn't controlling himself. The only time where he would feel free from the chains of regret and pain was during practice.

Each step was powerful and full of emotion–until the music stops. He just returns to his emotionless state and leaves without sparing the others even a glance.

"Hyung I'm worried about Kook," Taehyung was the first to voice out his thoughts, though it was clear everyone felt the same.

"Me too. He doesn't talk anymore."

"When was the last time I heard his voice?"

"I really don't k-"

"Dinner's ready!" Jin's voice echoed from the kitchen halfway through their discussion.

"Jimin go get Jungkook."

Jimin was now the only one that could get Jungkook to eat. If anyone else tried, they would either get shoved out of the room and a door in their face, or get yelled at by their maknae.

Usually they wouldn't let him disrespect them like that, but the regret that overcame them from his actions prevented them from doing so.

Despite being the only one to convince Jungkook to do...anything, sometimes Jimin did have his failures–those were the days that you did not want to mess with the maknae.

Even if he did eat, though, he would just eat one or two spoons of the food and leave–mainly due to the fact that the first time they forced him to eat a whole bowl of food he threw up everything, being so used to eating nothing everyday.

Bang PD nim, being himself, caught onto the situation very quickly. He decided that he wouldn't stress them out even more and released an official statement to tell ARMYs that all concerts will be cancelled until further notice. ARMY being ARMY, exploded Twitter that same day.Some made theories, some were bombing them with random questions, some were asking others to calm down—and literally just being the insane fanbase they were.

"Oh my god what happened to BTS?""Yah guys calm down and stay out of their privacy!""@BTS_twt are you okay?!"...[Jungkook POV]

I don't see what's the point of going to therapy. It doesn't even help!

I wish I had just let myself go. I was so close! In fact, I was already there! Why did I turn back to this torture?

The torture of isolating myself in my room everyday, constantly scared of what's out there. Afraid of being hurt. Every time I exit my room, I feel a wave of insecurity wash over me...

"People are probably so disgusted by you""You shouldn't have listened to your grandma""People were probably hoping you died"

Oh well the voice is back. When I thought it was finally gone.

My mind was all jumbled up and I couldn't focus on a thing before getting confused. I had to go to my other option.

...

"Hello ARMY..."

I saw comments scrolling rapidly as I tried to slow it down to read some.

'Kookie! Are you and the others okay?'

'Jungkook I missed you~'

'It's been so long since you did a live!'

I smiled as I replied to some comments.

"Ah..ARMY I'm not feeling too good recently but I'm okay I promise"

The comments immediately blew up with comforting words that warmed my heart. ARMY always knew how to cheer me up and clear my mind.

"No no, I'm not sick, just a little stressed and...other private matters"

I chuckled after reading a comment asking if I was sick. I didn't want to tell ARMY about my mental illness as I didn't want to worry them.

Maybe I'll come clean soon, just not now.I chatted with ARMY for about an hour before I ended my live, feeling as happy as ever.

The comforting words from ARMY drowned out the degrading voices in my head.

Even after the live, ARMY was still bombing Twitter with a video clip of me saying:"Ah...ARMY I'm not feeling too good recently but I'm okay I promise"With comforting messages like

'Hope you feel better soon!''Rest well~''Hope you and your hyungs are okay 😊'

I felt a comforting warmth spread through my heart as I relaxed, content that ARMY was still supporting us despite the concert cancellations.

I fell asleep reading the comments from ARMY.

[Jimin POV]

My phone suddenly began buzzing rapidly and I checked it, seeing that ARMY had tagged us in multiple tweets.

I checked Twitter and saw that Jungkook did a live about an hour ago. I noticed that Jungkook had hinted about his mental illness throughout the live–let's hope that ARMY isn't being the detective fanbase that they usually are this time for the sake of Jungkook's privacy.

I decided to post a selfie of Jungkook and I and apologise to ARMY about the inconvenience of the cancellation of the concerts they had been eager to go to.

I felt bad, but I thought that it would be for the best-especially for Jungkook.

I decided to go to him room and talk to Jungkook since I haven't been able to hear his voice other than the live he just did.

Knock. Knock.

"Jungkook-ah?"

No reply. I decided to knock again before I entered.Jungkook was spread out on his bed, his hand gripping his phone close to his chest, asleep.The rise and fall of his chest was clearly seen as his puffed cheeks represented him in deep sleep. It was the first time in a long time I had seen him sleep so peacefully.

I picked up his phone to see that he had been on Twitter as well, reading the comforting comments from ARMY. I smiled as I briefly scrolled through what he was reading before being pulled into dreamland. I put his phone away, took a quick photo of his peaceful state and then left him in the comfort of his own room."Hyungs! Tae!" I approached the living room, waving my phone in the air."Jimin-ah, what's up?"I showed them the photo, which they all immediately cooed. "He looks like he's getting better"I nodded my head, wanting to say something before being interrupted by Yoongi hyung.

"No he isn't. Caught him having a panic attack in his room one day."

All of us gasped.

"When?! Why didn't you tell us?!" Jin-hyung, being the typical mom of the group, stood up in shock.

"Yesterday. I was going to tell you but I fell asleep."

I rolled my eyes. Of course, sleep was always his excuse for not doing something.

I sighed. "He did a live with ARMY and fell asleep while reading through comments from them on Twitter," I explained, seeing some of them pull out their phones and click into our Twitter account.

"Yah...Jungkook was giving hints about his mental illness! He knows ARMYs are detectives and can figure out anything! Why?" Namjoon hyung looked at me from Hoseok hyung's phone.

I shurgged my shoulders. "I don't think ARMY would make theories of it even if they did find out. Either they wouldn't believe it or just want to keep his privacy."

The others agreed, all knowing that ARMY is a very understanding fanbase that knows when and when not to do something.

"I can't help but still be worried for him. It looks like he's been getting worse instead of the opposite."

Word Count: 1394Chapter 8 End

A/NI'm so sorry for not posting in like a week, the past week was just exam after exam and I was really stressed but I couldn't find time to write. I haven't really been in the right state of mind recently so I'm sorry if this chapter is a little lower standard than usual. It's just that I keep getting headaches in school due to stress and anxiety. I'm okay, I promise.