restlessness

"Today's the big day." Louis states on the breakfast table. Harry lifts his head. It's one of his bad days, he barely talks and it took like 30 minutes to get him out of the bed.

"I know." Is all he answers before getting back to eating. Like yes, I know you're feeling bad, but you could at least be happy for me. I know I would be for you. Louis thinks, but doesn't want to say it aloud.

"Would you like to celebrate it with me?" Louis tries to be patient.

"If you want to."

If YoU wAnT tO. Louis mocks in his head. He really would like to go out with Harry, have a date night or something. Louis sighs and gets back to drinking his tea.

"Aren't you happy for me?" Louis questions. He changed his mind. He does want to comfort Harry about it.

"I am." Harry mutters.

"And..?" Louis tries to not sound mad but Harry isn't even looking at him, he didn't congratulate him or anything. "Nothing?" Harry finally lifts his head to look at Louis.

"I'm tired, sorry. I'm going back to bed." He states and gets up.

"No." Louis shakes his head. "Meds first."

I know it sounds cruel and controlling but Louis has to check that Harry takes his meds everyday. Harry agreed to it but somedays he starts arguing about it.

"Okay." Harry says quietly and moves his way to the cabinet where they keep all of their medication. Louis turns around to him and Harry nicely takes the meds and gets back upstairs. Not saying a word. It's making Louis mad. He gets up from the table too and starts clearing the table. When almost done, his phone rings. It's Liam.

"Hey Liam." Louis answers.

"Good day mate! Congratulations on the new album! I'm going to stream it all day!" Atleast someone is excited.

"Thank you, really. I have worked on it a while." He states.

"A while? A lot more than a while. And by the samples you've played to me, it's fucking great!"

"I'm proud of it yes."

"What's wrong? Aren't you happy?"

"I am!" Liam doesn't answer straight away.

"But..?"

"But, Harry's not. He's all quiet, didn't even say anything about it."

"Man, fuck Harry! This is your night and you should celebrate it, with or without him."

"Meaning you could leave Bear at home to come with me?"

"Hell yeah, I already talked about it with Maya but I wasn't sure if you wanted to be alone with Harry."

"Nahh, but.. Well, he probably doesn't want me to go. He doesn't quite trust me completely yet." He mumbles, checking the stairs in case Harry's listening.

"Well tell him to come with us, if he doesn't wanna go, it's not your fault. C'mon you gotta do something! Let's invite Tommy and Luke too."

"Alright then. Where we going?" Louis agrees but is still a little skeptical.

"Fairytale?"

"Nonono, Harry won't let me go to a gay bar." Louis panics. Liam stays quiet. "Just, some regular bar please."

"Louis that doesn't sound good."

"You know what I did to him.."

"You mean what Max did to you? It's not your fault." Louis doesn't even bother to answer him. He just sighs loudly. "But we can go to a regular bar if you want. Just get out of the house for a while."

"Alright. I have to go to the studio today but I'll let you know when I'm out of the hook."

Louis collets himself together and goes upstairs. He better talk about this now, not right before he leaves. Harry's sleeping on their bed. Louis feels bad that he has to wake him up but still walks over to the bed and sits down.

"Hey, baby?" He pets Harry's back. Harry awakes and opens his eyes.

"Mmh?"

"I know you're tired and not feeling well, but would you like to go out with me, Liam and couple of other mates tonight? I still have to go to work so you can sleep before it."

"To clubbing?"

"Yeah, that was the plan." Louis nods and smiles.

"I don't want you to go.."

"That's why I asked you to come with me. C'mon Harry, it's my first album!"

"No."

"Why not?" He protests. "You know, you haven't said anything about this, you didn't say you're proud of me, didn't congratulate me, didn't even mention it before I did! Why can't you support me?" Harry stares at Louis blankly after his rage-moment.

"I'm sorry." Harry apologizes. "I'm sorry Louis, I-I didn't even thought about it like that. I was in my own thoughts,-" Harry suddenly starts crying."-I didn't mean to be selfish. You know that I'm so fucking proud of you." Louis tries to avoid eye contact with Harry, he feels so bad again. Why would he rage at Harry when he's feeling bad? He's a fucking asshole.

"No, I'm sorry. I just wanted to be with you." Louis apologizes too. Harry smiles with the tears on his cheeks and pulls Louis to lay with him.

"You know what's my favorite song from the album?" Harry asks as snuggling up closer to Louis.

"What?"

"Too young. It's brilliant, and your voice sounds angelic in it." Louis doesn't speak, he feels like he would start crying if he said something. He doesn't deserve Harry. He's just too nice to Louis, he goes through with all of his bullshit. Even with the bipolar disorder.

"I love you." He answers, not being able to hold the tears anymore. His head rests on Harry's shoulder as Harry plays with his hair.

"I love you too."

**

Harry decided to not come tonight. He promised to take Louis out to a date next week, or when he's feeling better. Right now Louis is at the studio, listening to Craig to speak something about what's happening next. He has a world tour soon, the places and dates are not decided yet so,, it's end of the world. To Craig at least.

"When it's going to start?" Louis finally says something.

"Soon."

"How soon?" Louis asks annoyed. 'SoOn.' Could you not be any more specific?

"As fast as we can, probably in May. But you do have a smaller concert next month." Craig explains nicer than usually.

"And I'm only hearing about it now?" Louis raises his eyebrows. It's HIS concert and he doesn't know about it? Sometimes just this management is-

"I forgot to tell you, but I only got it for you like,, a week ago?" Craig explains. He is still in a suspiciously good mood.

"Right."

"You'll get more info next week." Craig promises and turns back to some woman, Louis isn't even sure who she is. He keeps spinning around with his chair, trying to not be bored to dead. After couple of minutes, Craig turns back to Louis. "You can go, celebrate tonight. You did a good job, Louis." Craig tries to smile. It made Louis almost fall out of his chair, he hasn't probably ever seen him smile.

"Thank you Craig." Louis thanks, for once not being sarcastic. He thanks the other people in the room too before heading to his car.

"I already got out!" Liam answered immediately after Louis called.

"Out of work? Is Craig sick?"

"No that's what I thought. That's not all,, he SMILED at me today."

"No way, did you take a picture?" Louis laughs. He feels pretty good tonight, even though Harry won't come. "What about the Harry situation?"

"He lets me go but he wanted to stay at home. I really wanted him to be there.."

"It's not everyday you release an album, you got to celebrate." Liam tries to cheer him up.

"I know, I know. When are we going to meet?" Louis asks and gets in his car.

"It's kind of early still.. You want to go to home change and stuff?"

"Yeah, I could try to make Harry eat some before I leave, we'll text, alright?"

"Sure, later mate."

After hanging up, Louis closes his eyes for a moment and takes a deep breath.

Why can't he be happy?

Louis released an album, which he's very proud of, he has the world's best boyfriend, he has no toxic relationships in his life anymore, he has friends, the work is not pressuring him that much anymore. So why does he feel this miserable? It's not like he has something that makes him sad, like Harry. Harry can't help it with his bipolar. But Louis? He has no reason to be sad and it's frustrating. Sometimes he can't even force the sadness away. Most of the time it's all good, he can laugh, he can smile, talk to people without snapping, but some days,, the anger pushes out of Louis' body. It happened sometimes back in the band. In interviews, he would force himself to be quiet just so he won't lash out on other people. It hasn't happened in a long time,, and it scares Louis.

Louis had the radio on the whole drive home, trying to keep his thoughts away. Inside the house is quiet and nothing has changed. Harry is most likely still sleeping upstairs, so that's where he is headed. But Harry isn't asleep, Louis hears the shower running. It makes Louis smirks to himself. Maybe it's his time to surprise Harry. Carefully, Louis tries the knob and opens the door slowly. For some reason, Harry is sitting down on the floor, knees bent and his head buried in his hands. He didn't move so he probably haven't heard Louis.

Louis pulls his socks and pants off, and drops his stuff on the ground. That's when Harry heard him. He flinches and lifts his head up quickly, only to see Louis smiling at him.

"Wh- You were supposed to go out?" Harry states, sounding not sure. Louis takes his shirt and boxers off too and throws then on the other side of the room.

"Not yet." He smirks as walking towards Harry. But he doesn't stand up, or smile at him, doesn't talk, he just buries his head back into his arms. "What's wrong baby?" Louis asks, concerned. He sits down on the floor in front of Harry.

"Nothing.." He mumbles, Louis could barely even hear it. The shower is pretty heated, and it's burning Louis' hands, but still he gets closer to Harry and lifts his head up. Harry avoids eye contact for a while before he can look at him in the eyes. "I just don't feel too well." He admits.

"Can I do something?" Louis asks, he wants to help Harry. "I can stay here, I don't really have to go anywhere."

"No, Louis it's fine, I'm probably gonna sleep the whole day anyway. But.. Maybe,, if you could wash my hair..?" He asks carefully.

"Of course." Louis smiles, trying to make Harry smile too. He leaves a kiss on Harry's forehead and stands up to take a watermelon scented shampoo. "Turn around." He tells as he gets back down to sit. Harry troublesome turns around to face the wall and Louis gets to washing his head. He tries to be careful, massaging his scalp. It reminds Louis. Back at that day when Harry was at his worst and Louis had to wash him.

Maybe this isn't that bad, but it's not good either. Harry starts breathing heavily and trembling. Louis keeps massaging him, waiting if it goes away or if Harry speaks first. After a while, Harry's breaths are trembling more, he opens his mouth.

"Honey, what's wrong?"

"I keep fucking things up.." Harry answers under his breath. He sighs loudly, trying to control his voice and breathing before talking again. "I hate this stupid disease."

"I know, I hate it too. But it's going to get better Harry. I know it will." Louis assures, nodding even though Harry can't see it. With that being said, he gets up to take the shower head and flushes Harry's hair.

When Harry got out of the shower he got dressed up and went back to bed, they didn't speak a word to each other. There was nothing to say, they didn't need to speak. But before leaving, Louis still gets back to bed with Harry to cuddle him. He at least tries to make him feel better by being present. Louis knows that it would help him, hoping it helps Harry too. Louis lays on his back, and Harry has his arm over Louis' chest, head resting on his shoulder.

"Are you sure you don't want me to stay?" Louis asks carefully one last time.

"No, go." Harry doesn't open his eyes. Louis would try to make him feel better, but he isn't in a much of a talking mood. Somedays earlier, Harry said that he would like to listen to Louis speaking, something, whatever, when he's not feeling talkative. Maybe that will work.

"I don't remember if I told you this, but the night when Liam was in the hospital, Craig said that he supports our relationship. It's kind of shocking, right?" Harry nods. Louis continues. "At first I was really confused, I thought he had a back thought with that. But at least not yet, he hasn't mentioned it afterwards." Harry puts on a forced smile for a second. It's working, maybe? "Today, he smiled at me. Told me that I did a good job. Maybe he's losing his mind." Louis wonders. Harry doesn't react or answer this time, he just moves his head into a better position. Louis tries one more time. "I know I probably don't say this enough but you're so important to me. Harry, I don't think I would be here, at least this happy, in this lifetime without you. You don't understand how much I love you."

"I love you too." Harry says back and smiles, this time with a real smile. Even though it didn't last long.

"And,, well when I thought about it, much haven't changed. From back in the days, I mean. I still love you as much as I loved you then, even more if that's even possible. I haven't lost that spark in all these years. It's crazy how you still give me butterflies every time we kiss, or when you hug me from behind, or when you sneak into the shower with me." Louis smiles at his own thoughts and feels how Harry grabs him tighter. Suddenly Louis gets an idea. "Harry?"

"Mmh?"

"You know how we never really got married?" Harry finally opens his eyes and turns his head to Louis. He looks at him with confusion but also with excitement. "Maybe we could do that now?"

"Are you proposing me?" Harry blinks but smiles widely.

"I-I guess I am." Louis shrugs and can't help to smile too. "I don't see why we shouldn't." Louis adds. He could pay millions to know what's going on inside Harry's head.

"I don't know either.."

"Is that a yes?" Louis asks, hopefully. Harry doesn't answer yet. He stares at his eyes and opens his eyes, without saying anything. Louis starts to lose hope.

"Of course it is, Louis." Louis sighs happily, smiling and lets out a couple of tears. Harry smirks too and gets closer to kiss Louis. As he's pulling away, Louis takes his hand to behind Harry's head and pulls him back to his lips. He just doesn't want to let go of him.

His phone thought rings and interrupts their make out session. Louis groans and gets the phone.

"Hey mate! Are you coming?" He hears Liam's voice. Louis looks over at Harry, he doesn't want to leave him, this right now. But Harry nods as in 'it's okay, go,' type of way.

"Yeah, I'm just leaving." He answers, trying not to smirk. "See you soon?"

"You better." Liam answers before the call cuts off. Then Louis puts his phone away and turns back to Harry, who is laying on his side.

"Go." Harry says softly.

"Are you sure-"

"You have to go!"

"-That you don't want to come with us?" Louis finishes his sentence but Harry shakes his head.

"I'll wait for you here." He assures and pulls Louis closer for one last kiss. "My soon-to-be husband." Harry tries not to smirk while saying that but fails completely. Louis smiles back at him and kisses his forehead.

Louis got a ride to the club from a friend. Harry promised to stay up and come get him home. He still doesn't have his license but they'll take a risk. The club is a fucking big place, there's gonna be a lot of people. Liam promised to stick together with him, and if Louis wants to leave, they'll be out the same second. Louis thanks his friend, or if you can even call him a friend, mutual more like, and gets out. Louis doesn't have to even show his ID or anything, the security man lets him skip the line and leads him inside. Louis is a bit lost, he doesn't recognize the people. Until Liam touches his shoulder and smiles.

"Come here mate." He says and takes Louis' hand. Liam walks past the crowd, Louis following him. There's a small place in the corner of the club with couple of sofas, chairs and a table. Louis smiles and realizes that the place is full of familiar faces. Niall, Ed, Tommy and couple of other Louis' friends are there. He greets them all, smiling. Even though Zayn isn't here, he's still excited. All of them have already ordered drinks, there's something for Louis too. After all the congratulations and greetings, Louis needs to speak with Liam.

"Hey, can you come with me for a sec?" He almost yells over the music. Liam nods and they get further away from the others.

"What's up?" Liam asks.

"Well,, I kind of proposed Harry." He shrugs his shoulders, smirking.

"What?!" Liam smiles. "That's amazing, I'm so happy for you." He brings Louis into a tight hug. Louis hugs back. In that same second, he gets reminded. Harry's no here. He tries to wipe the negative thoughts out of his mind. He really tries. This is his night, right? He should enjoy it, with or without Harry, like Liam said. He swallows and lets go of Liam. He forces a soft smile on his lips. "I'm so happy that you're doing better." Liam states. Is he? Doing better? He has no reason to not. Why is he so sad when he's not around Harry? He's too fucking clingy? Maybe Harry doesn't even want to get married with him, maybe he was just worried that if he says no that Louis would freak out. Or if that ruins their relationship.

"Yeah, me too." He then answers.

"We gonna have a fucking big party then, yes?" Liam starts planning already.

Louis tries to control his drinking, he would've maybe succeeded in that but Niall keeps asking him to do shots. It's fine though. He hasn't blacked out. He feels horrible so maybe blacking out wouldn't be a bad thing. But at this point he has a 'gotta text my boyfriend' drunk. He takes out his phone when the others aren't talking to him. He hesitates for a second, thinking what he's going to text Harry.

Mine<3

"Harry, I locve u somuvh."

"I love you too."

"But do you reall wanba mearry me? Youre perffect, i donrt deresve u."

"What are you talking about?"

"Hey! Put your phone away, no time to text your boyfriend." Liam says as he noticed Louis. He tries to take the phone out of Louis' hand, but Louis is faster and puts it away.

"Sorry." He apologizes and takes the drink from the table in front of him. Suddenly in the club, Louis' song, kill my mind starts playing. Louis looks at Liam confused who just smiles. The whole club starts yelling, some of them starts singing the song. "It's barely even out there, how the fuck is it playing here?"

"I might have pulled some strings." Liam admits, nodding.

"Thank you mate." Louis smiles. "I gotta go use the restroom." He states and stands up, staggering a little bit.

"Do you want me to come with you?" Liam asks. It probably sounds so suspicious to others, but Louis knows that Liam is just looking out for him.

"Nah, it's okay." He assures and leaves the table. The shots are starting to feel inside his head. Louis tries to breathe normally and walk slow, it helps a little bit. He walks through the crowd to a door, signed "gentlemen." The room is empty, so Louis walks to the other side to lean his back to the wall. He sighs and takes out his phone. Harry has texted him.

Mine<3

"Louis?"

"Tell me you didn't pass out."

"I'm finne, sorry."

"Are you alright? Do I need to come get you?"

"No, i caNNot leave. Niallers here."

"But zain is not. I miss hinm."

"I know you do Louis. I bet he misses you too."

Louis feels the drunk in his head getting worse as he starts crying in the bathroom. He wipes his nose onto his sweater. Sometimes he just has these moments where he really misses his best friend. Of course Harry and Liam are his best friends too, but Zayn was different in some way that Louis can't explain. Louis almost even texts him but decides to stay on the chat with Harry.

"I'll gOback to Lima noe."

"Okay, please text me if anything happens."

Just as he's putting his phone away, someone comes in. Before Louis checks who it is, he wipes the wet lines from his cheeks. Tommy, with a soft smile on his mouth walk over to him.

"You alright?" He asks concerned, but not in a pitying way.

"Yeah, don't worry about it." Louis smiles and shakes his head. Tommy keeps an eye contact with him for a couple of seconds before shrugging.

"Well then,, would you like to join me outside for a smoke?" He asks, changing the subject. Louis nods.

Outside the club was pretty quiet, surprisingly quiet even when it's Friday night. There was a small park couple blocks away where Louis and Tommy walked over to. They sat down under a big oak tree.

"Oh? I thought when you said smoking, you meant like cigarettes?" Louis questions after he saw Tommy pulling out a small bag of green flowers inside.

"You don't want?" He asks as he starts rolling the weed. He asks even though he knows the answer.

"You know I won't say no!" Louis and Tommy both laughs a little. "It has been a while since I last smoked." He thinks aloud. Tommy rolled two joints so both will have their own, and then he offers a lighter to Louis. He lights it up and inhales deeply.

"Remember back in high school-" Tommy breathes out the smoke before continuing his sentence. "When we had that stupid history teacher?"

"Yeah, I do! What was his name? Paul?"

"Yeah Paul McConnell." Tommy laughs. "Shit, we used to skip his class all the time to go to hangout in the park." He smiles at himself, Louis staring and admiring him. "You know, I'm probably going to regret this, but we only live here once, right?" Tommy gets somehow a little serious. He doesn't continue.

"What?" Louis finally asks.

"I liked you. A lot. Back in high school." Tommy admits.

"You're gay??" Is the first question that pops up in his mind.

"No,," Tommy laughs. "I don't think I'm even bi or anything. You're the only guy I've had romantic feelings for."

"Really?" This made Louis feel so somehow kind of special. He started smiling at Tommy, hoping he continues the story.

"Yeah,, I don't even know why. It took me a while until I even understand what was happening. Those times when we skipped Paul's class was the best part of my week." Tommy starts thinking back and smiling too.

"You still like me?" Louis decided to be bold and asks it, nothing to lose at this point. But,, well also he's drunk, he can't keep his mouth shut.

"I wouldn't deny a fuck." He shrugs.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Louis asks, knowing it wouldn't matter anyhow at this point.

"I was about to. Then you went off to X-factor and then I see you on the tv, looking at this other boy like you're in love." He explains, smile gone from his face.pp

"I can't help it, ten years later I'm still in love with him." Louis has to say to remind Tommy that he doesn't really have a chance.

"Yeah." They both turn to look each other in the eyes. "Maybe in another lifetime."

"Yeah, maybe."

**

After that the whole night was pretty much blacked out. But at least he made it home since he wakes up Harry wrapped around his body. Louis smiles and smiles Harry's head.

"Morning..." He whispers trying to wake Harry.

"Mmh." Harry groans. He grabs Louis tighter.

"How are you feeling?"

"Better." His voice is sleepy. "How about you? Hungover much?" He proceeded to ask, turning his head up to look at Louis.

"Nope. At least yet. Do you think I can check my phone without dying from embarrassment after?"

"What?" Harry asks confused.

"I sometimes drunk text.." Louis admits and Harry realizes what Louis meant.

"Sometimes?" He bullies. "Yeah, you're gonna be fine." Louis nods and finds his phone next to him on the bed. Zayn has texted him, and he already feels the embarrassment.

Zayn Malik

"I miss yuo mate."

"Hey Louis, I miss you too. Congrats on the album."

"Inhate how weare now."

"Sorry I couldn't make it tonight."

Shit. Well this is depressing. Harry looks at Louis' phone with him. Jesus, wonder what Harry's thinking.

"I'm going to fine?" Louis questions.

"If that's bad, go check our messages." Harry dares. Louis whines but opens the conversation.

Mine<3

"Liam asked if you came home, where are you?"

"In da park."

"Park? Who with?"

"Tommydommy. Had a d3Ep talk."

"WhEm arr yuo cominh to get me?"

"Hazxa?,"

"Do you want me to come now?"

"I HAVE to go say goodbiu to LIAM and NIALL."

"Okay, after that?"

"Deppends, I might wanna get anothar drink"

"Okay, text me then."

"I eill."

"Hazza?"

"Yeah?"

"I loooooooooooooveeeeeeeeeeeee you."

"I looooveeee you too."

"Ar yuo mad at me?"

"No? Why would I be?"

"You onlyu put 4 o and e."

"I loooooooooooooooooooveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee you."

"Hazza?"

"Yes darling?"

"I dont thonk im goimg to makr it."

"To home? I'll come get you, you'll get home. Don't worry."

"I dont wannnna be aburden,("

"I don't mind Louis."

"Imm gona miss yuo."

"I miss you too. Don't think about it too much, just enjoy your night out. We'll see soon."

"I dont knoiw"

"Hazza?"

"Louis?"

"Cn you get meh now? I threw up."

"I'll be there in 10."

Louis looked at the messages with fear. Harry probably didn't realize what drunk Louis meant, but Louis knew. It wasn't about the ride. He was about to kill himself. Louis turns to Harry, who just smiles. He has no clue. Louis tries to smile back and kisses him.

"Thanks for putting up with this." He thanks.

"Always."

**

"Louiiiiiiis." Harry wakes him up.

"Harryyyyyy." He responds. Harry's on top of him, how the fuck did he get there without waking Louis up?

"How you feeling?" Harry casually asks and bends down to kiss Louis on the lips so he's unable to answer. Louis kisses back but pushes his face away then.

"Tired." Louis states as Harry gets to kissing his neck.

"You know what might wake you up?" He hints.

"Coffee?" Louis bullies him. He is really not in the mood. Really not in the mood for anything. He just wants to sleep all day.

"Mmh,,? What else?"

"A nap?"

"Louis why are you like this?" Harry asks fake-annoyed. He lifts his head from Louis' neck. "I'm trying to do my best work here, you're just, making it very hard." Harry uses his sarcasm strongly.

"Mmhh, coffee." Louis continues. Harry has a good day and Louis doesn't want to ruin it. Harry smiles shaking his head and gets back to ruining Louis' neck. Louis didn't mind this, even though he just woke up,, but when Harry moved his hand down towards Louis' crotch, it started to get annoying. "I gotta go to the loo." He whispers as an excuse.

"Right now?" Harry asks.

"Right now." He answers. Harry looks at him suspiciously but then gets off him. Louis walks over to the restroom and closes the door. But he doesn't even make it to the toilet without falling down. He starts crying. His breaths are heavy and he can barely breathe. He's trying to not make a noise but it's impossible. He just hopes that Harry doesn't hear. The snot and tears are all over his face but he's too tired to do something about it.

It has been a little over a month since he tried to kill himself. Or,, well Louis isn't sure since he was so drunk. But those messages to Harry kind of proved something, he also threw up for the next couple of days and had a fever and a stomach ache. His pulse was very low but he didn't tell Harry about it. Louis is surprised how he has been putting up like this for this long. Every single day he gets worse and worse, at the same time when Harry gets better.

The snot from his nose starts dripping on the floor, he feels like he can't breathe so he starts coughing. Now Harry hears him.

"Louis?? Open the door?" Harry yells but in a worried way. "Louis, please." He begs.

"I-I.." He tries to breathe deeply. "I am- okay." He gets out, his voice trembling.

"No you're not. Open the door or I'm getting the spare key." Harry threatens but Louis knows it's in a caring way. He slowly makes his way to the door without even standing up. He opens the door by reaching up to the knob. Harry tears the door open and immediately gets down to hold Louis. "Baby.. Oh my baby.." He cries out and pulls Louis closer. Louis rests his his head on Harry's chest, he can already feel the tears and snot falling down on him. He's too tired to care.

"I'm so tired." Louis finally says after getting his breaths in control.

"It's not just the tiredness, isn't it?" Harry knows. "Did something happen at your album release party?"

"No."

"Then what?"

"I don't know." Louis answers but he knows Harry won't believe him. He isn't even sure what's wrong, he doesn't know why he's acting this way. Just one thing he knows for sure.

He isn't going to make it.

**