88-In a Week

Four Weeks Later

My family, my living family, wouldn't let me die.

Pepper had told them to keep going, hoping to keep revive me. And they did. The whole ordeal wasn't without fault, of course. 

A month. I was out for a month. The doctors told me that they thought I was going to slip into a permanent vegetative state. They thought they were going to lose me forever. The damage to brain would be catastrophic for anyone else, but then again, I'm not anyone else. That's not saying I was unscathed. I could barely move and was only awake for short periods of time. Baby steps, the nurses reminded me. They were really right about the baby steps. I needed help to walk and I could only do for a few moments before my legs would give out.

I can barely remember what happened after I got hit with Clint's arrows. I know that I saw him, then I fell-I think. I remember Rhodey holding my hand and I think I can remember seeing Bucky. Peter, I can see, but it's hazy. After that, nothing. I can't remember waking up. I can remember seeing my deceased family members, but I don't know if it was a dream or not. I can't tell. A lot of things are fuzzy, very fuzzy.

"I hate this." I grumbled to Rhodey as he helped me sit up, propping a pillow behind my back before sliding the tray of food closer to me. He chuckles, nudging the spork a little closer to my hand. Rhodey had come with me to physical therapy, rolling me through the halls of the hospital. At a moderate, painfully slow pace. Sadly, they will not let us drift in the hallways. Buzzkills.

"I know you do. You'll get better." He chides me before sitting down on the chair beside me bed. I nod, eating a spoonful of mashed potatoes. My mind immediately drifts to my sons. Are they giving Benny all the mashed potatoes he wants? They better be.

"When can I see my boys, Rhodey?" I ask, looking over to him. I've been asking everyone since I woke up, needing to see them. My friend sighs, shifting in his seat. I hope he's comfortable-I don't want him to be suffering because of me.

"We've been over this. The doctors won't let them come in since they don't meet the age requirement. They could get you sick, get anyone else sick or they can get sick. Especially Neddy." Rhodey responds and I sigh, forcing myself to eat. It still hurt when I breathed and when I really did anything else. Some of my ribs were cracked due to the CPR they had performed on me and I had two new large scars on my body- one under my breast and the other on my abdomen, inches above my belly button. The scars on my face had healed nicely for the most part, so I guess that's good. My therapist says I need to be happy about the little things in life. I think Rhodey notices the look on my face.

"You can FaceTime them later. After Ben gets out of school." Rhodey adds and I just nod in response. I hated only being able to see my babies through a screen, but I didn't want to cause any more trouble. I haven't seen them since before I had left to go clubbing with Wanda, Bucky, and Sam in hopes of finding someone to sleep with. I had kissed both of their foreheads and prayed that I would see them again. I needed to see them again.

"Did you bring what I asked you to?" I question, eating another spoonful of mashed potatoes trying to distract myself from my sadness. Rhodey nods and pulls out a bag, but he doesn't hand it to me. I do the little grabby hands, like Neddy does when he sees anyone with long hair.

"You really should just be resting and not working-" He starts and I roll my eyes. I make the grabby hand once more. Rhodey gives in and hands me the bag. I happily take the tablet out and open it up. Rhodey and Pepper did not reveal to the press that I had come out of my coma, just in case something went wrong. Because of this, I got to watch everyone and anyone talk about me, both in favor and against my life. I look up to see Rhodey's slightly worried face.

"Don't do that." I tell him lightly. He wipes the look off of his face, looking at me.

"Do what? I'm not doing anything." Rhodey responds and give him a look. I rest the tablet on top of the bag.

"You're worried. Rhodey, I'm okay. I'm doing fine. I am the epitome of great health." I reassure him, even though I'm sure the current surroundings are not putting him at ease. I wasn't fine, not at all. Dying does that to you and I did die. My heart had stopped breathing and I-I was with people I miss so much. I was right there and it was all ripped out of my hands. I couldn't decide if I was happy I was alive or if I wished that they didn't try to revive me. I didn't voice any of that. All of my living family was happy that I was alive and I couldn't go against their happiness. Rhodey sighs and wipes a hand over his face, snapping me back to reality.

"Of course I'm worried about you. You died. That's going to cause me to be worried, Pey." Rhodey murmurs and I nod, moving slightly in the bed. This has to be one of the comfier hospital beds I have been in.

"I know. You and everyone else are worried, but I just hate having you guys being worried over me." I explain. Rhodey nods. I smile at him slightly, wanting to cheer him up.

"I know. I know."

"Thank you for helping me out. You're always taking care of one of us, aren't you?" I question a little sadly. My friend reaches out to hold my hand. I grip his hand as tightly as I can. I think held his hand the day I got shot. I can't exactly remember.

"It's my job. I don't want to watch another Stark die in front of me. Tony wanted me to take care of you and I'm sure as hell going to make sure you stay alive as long as possible." Rhodey says as he squeezes my hand as carefully as he can. I blink away any tears that were threatening to slip out of my eyes. He just continues, "I'm proud of you, Pey. I'm so proud of you and I know your brother was extremely proud of the person you have become. Tony wouldn't shut up about it."

The tears finally roll down my cheeks, but I have to wipe them away when the FaceTime incoming call rings out. I quickly calm myself down and position the tablet so I don't have to hold it up. With a swipe of a finger, I answer the call. A different wave of emotions hit me. Benjamin's smiling face fills the screen.

"Hi mommy!"

-

Across town, Laura Barton sits down in front of a glass screen that's separating her from her husband. She picks up the phone as Clint does the same. The woman doesn't know what to say as she sits in this room. It's just her and Clint and she knows from every crime show on TV that whatever they say is going to be recorded. Clint is just happy to see her and he thinks that they'll get through this, like they got through everything else. Laura is suddenly repulsed by the dark green shirt and pants he is wearing.

"Hi." Clint greets her, his eyes studying his wife. Her eyes won't meet his, she can't bring herself to look at her husband. She glances down at her wedding band. It doesn't gleam in the harsh overheard lights. It looks dull and lifeless.

"You shot her Clint. You shot her." Laura responds, shattering Clint's hope. Her brown eyes finally look at him. Clint swallows hard and shifts slightly on his bolted down stool.

"Laura, I wasn't under control-" Clint starts, but she quickly cuts him off, shaking her head.

"It doesn't matter that you weren't under control. Our children know that you almost killed her. Everyone knows that you might've killed her. She has two babies, Clint. And they only have one parent." Laura snaps, glaring at her husband. Clint shuts his eyes for a moment, trying to find a way to fix this.

"Laura, please-we can get through this together. Pey's tough, she'll be okay. We'll be okay." He tries to reassure her, his eyes opening. Her eyes are watery as she shakes her head.

"Our kids are already going to know that you-what you did-that they had a half-sibling and that you-you hit her. This-You shooting Peyton Starks-it's too much, Clint. It's not fair to the kids and it's not fair to me." Laura tells him, rapidly blinking her eyes. She didn't want to cry in front of him. She's been crying enough.

"I wasn't in control of my actions, Laura. The kids will understand that-" Once again Clint is cut off by his wife.

"You cheated on me for years, Clint. You got her pregnant. You sought her out after the birth of our son and hit her when she told you no. How do you want me to explain that?" She retorts, years of anger filling her voice. Clint realizes that he isn't going to be able to get out of this situation, like he was able to do with his affair, his child with Peyton, and the fact that he lied and hit her. His stomach is in knots and he feels sick. The silence kills Laura and a tear slips down her cheek.

The couple had never truly discussed Clint's affair. It hurt Laura too much to think of it. He had been cheating on her for years and she was completely in the dark the whole time. The Peyton Stark was the other woman in their relationship. Clint had gotten her pregnant while Laura was pregnant with Cooper. Peyton lost the baby and Clint still didn't see anything wrong with his sins. Clint had hurt both Laura and Peyton deeply, but his wife never spoke of it. She pretended like everything was okay.

Obviously, it wasn't.

"They aren't going to let you out of here, Clint. It's not like the whole Sokovia situation." Laura tells him, her dark brown eyebrows furrowed together. Clint won't meet her eyes, his eyes instead focused on the ring around her finger.

"I know. I know." Clint responds, inhaling sharply. A memory hits him suddenly, smashing forward in his brain.

"I don't think you'll ever hurt me. I don't think you can." Peyton says with a smile, standing over by her large window wall, a glass of red wine in her hands. Clint shifts on her bed, resting back on his hands as he looks at her. She's dressed in his t-shirt. It's a familiar, welcome sight. Peyton walks over to him, straddling his lap.

"Good, 'cause I'd never want to hurt you." Clint tells her, his hands moving to rest on her sides as he looks up at her. Her wine stained lips press against each other. A well manicured hand cups his cheek.

"I hope so."

Laura, who was still sitting across from him, knew exactly who she needed to talk to.

-

Bucky wheels me outside and it almost brings tears to my eyes when the overly clean smell disappears. We were the only ones in this small courtyard, which was an added bonus. It wasn't completely quiet, but the noise of the hustle and bustle of New York City was muffled slightly. Sunlight was filtered being through the various branches of the trees that filled the area. Barnes wheeled me over to a bench, so he could sit down beside me. I, thankfully, brought my own chair with me.

"Thank you for taking me outside. I needed this." I say, glancing over at him. The super soldier smiles slightly, leaning his back against the bench. He hadn't really visited me as much as the others, but I'm sure there was a reason for it. I just couldn't really put my finger on it.

"I'm sure you were getting stir crazy up there." Bucky responds and I nod in response. I take in the green scenery, take in a deep breath of that lovely city air. Something was hanging in the air between us and I knew exactly what it was. So I carefully tested the waters, in my own little way.

"Why haven't you been visiting, Bucky?" I ask, looking over at him. Barnes inhales sharply, sitting up a little straighter. I try to calm his down slightly as I say, "I'm not mad at you-I just want to know."

"I just-I just couldn't. I'm sorry." He responds, looking down at his hands. Bucky was practically studying then, as if there was something covering it. I furrow my eyebrows together.

"You don't have to be sorry, Bucky. It's okay." I tell him. Silence fills the air again before I suddenly ask,"You don't regret having sex with me, right?" I didn't care about dancing completely around the subject. We were both adults. A blush slightly tints his cheeks-okay, so maybe one of us is an adult. I just needed to know if maybe that's why he's been keeping away.

"No, I-I don't. Do you?" Bucky questions in response, his eyes on me. I turn my head to fully look at him. His blue-grey eyes are studying me, but they are practically screaming that he is nervous.

"I wouldn't have done it with you if I thought I was going to regret it, Bucky." I say honestly. He almost breathes out a sigh of relief. My fingers move to fiddle with the armrest of the wheelchair. I've seen the way he's been looking at me and I know how he feels towards me. I'm not blind and I'm not an idiot. I would be lying if I said that I didn't have any feeling towards Bucky, but my heart was very confused about the whole thing. It's been a very confusing year.

"I feel like there's a "but" in there." Bucky adds, eyebrows slightly furrowed together. I sigh softly, putting my hands in my lap. I swallow the lump in my throat.

"Bucky, I just want you know that I never want to get married again. Ever. Steve,-no matter what he put my through- he was my husband and I loved him so much. I still love him. I hate to use this term, but he's my soulmate. I don't think I'll ever love anyone as much as I loved him and I want you to know that." I confess, throat tightening with emotion. Bucky nods, smiling slightly. I just ramble on, "And Benny and Neddy, they're my entire world. Nothing and no one is going to change that."

"I wasn't going to ask you to stop loving Steve or to stop loving your children, doll." Bucky responds, his vibranium hand holding his flesh one. He understands completely what I was saying, knows what I'm talking about. I am glad I don't have to overly explain my feelings.

"And, I'm not exactly the best person ever. I'm really a piece of shit with a lot of mental issues." I murmur and the man beside me fchuckles.

"I don't even think I need to say why that is not a problem." He murmurs in response, which makes me chuckle. I look at him and he glances at me. There's a small smile on his face. He has a nice little smile.

"Just promise me one thing, Buck." I tell him, to which he raises an eyebrow. I am sure he is expecting a very serious answer and I had an extremely serious answer. I lean back in my wheelchair and say, "Never cut your fucking hair."

That one, that one makes him laugh. It's a welcome sound that only makes the smile on my face grow.

-

It takes another two weeks for me to come home. I still can't really move, but I kept begging to go home. I promised that I would keep up with everything that the doctors wanted me to, I just needed to be home. Bucky had his arm wrapped around my middle, holding me up as Sam pushed open the front door. Behind the door stood everyone in my weird little family. Rhodey, Pepper, Happy, my boys, Wanda, Peter, Peter's Aunt May, Sam, and Bucky- they all surrounded me.

"Welcome home!" They called out, but my eyes and my focus are on my boys. Tears almost immediately fill my eyes and I open my arms for my boys.

"Mommy!" Benny cheers and I fall to my knees, not caring about if will hurt me or not. My oldest son runs to me and I wrap my arms around him. I pepper his face with kisses, tears freely flowing down my face.

"I missed you so much, Benny." I tell him, kissing his forehead as Pepper stepped forward, Neddy in her arms. She carefully handed Edward and I held him close to me. I kissed his forehead as well, taking in that special little baby smell. I kept an arm wrapped around Benjamin, wanting them both next to me. Seeing them, holding them close, it dawns on me that I wasn't really ready to leave. I would never be ready to ever leave my babies. They still needed me and my other babies-they had people that can take care of them. Steve and Tony were right-they'd be okay without me.

Never in a million years did I think I would have this. Yet here I was, thirty-six years old and I still somehow wasn't dead. I was the mother to two beautiful boys- five beautiful boys in total. I had fallen in love with my soulmate. I had fixed the damage Thanos had caused the world and I still needed to fix so much more. My time hasn't come yet. There was still so much work to be done.

And I was going to to do it. I was going to do it for my three boys. For Tony. For Peggy. For Mom and Dad. For Natasha. For Steve. Death herself couldn't stop me and I am sure as hell not going to stop for it.

Never.

Bucky helps me stand and be guides me into the kitchen area. I take a seat at my table, Benny running in sometime after with a stack of drawings in his arms.  He shows me every single one, explaining it in his own little way, as our family gets their plates. Neddy stays in my arms, looking like he's listening to his brother. I barely notice that they have put a plate in front of me. It's large portion of spaghetti and meatballs, with a giant piece of garlic bread. I pull it toward Benny and I.

"Eat, Benny." I tell him, motioning to the plate of food. I kiss his forehead again and I kiss Neddy's. Pepper sits down next to me, with Morgan sitting next to her.

"Let me take him so you can eat." She says softly, motioning towards the baby in my arms. The others are taking their seats around the table and I'm glad that I spent the extra money on getting a custom dining table made. I shake my head at her, holding my child closer.

"I'm fine. Let me just hold him. Please." I respond, glancing at my sister in law. Pepper smiles at me and nods in response. Her smile says everything that she doesn't need to. She's happy that I'm home and I'm happy that I'm home. My living family is all around me, laughing and happy. I wished that my entire family could be here, but this was as good as it was going to get and well, it was completely perfect for me.

-

I had been helped into the room was meeting him in, but he didn't get to see that. No, he would only see me looking as healthy as ever. Hair done perfectly, makeup done amazingly. It didn't look like I had been in a coma for a month. No I looked as great as ever. I don't know why, but I had to see him. Everything had started with him, and it's only fitting that it ended with him as well.

The door buzzed open and Clint was walked in by a guard, the chains of his cuffs clinking every time he walked. The archer looked shocked to see me and honestly I was shocked I was sitting here, in the middle of the visiting area of this prison. The guard shackled him to the table and was moving to stand near the door.

"That won't be necessary. You can stay outside." I tell the guard, shifting on the hard metal bench. He nods and steps outside of the room. Clint glances at me, his wide eyes going to my wedding rings. I missed having the weight on my fingers, missed having a part of Steve with me.

"You're alive." He breathes out, looking back at my face. Is he happy? I can't tell. His eyes are studying me, looking for any injury.

"Barely. My heart gave out on me when they were trying patch me up. I died. They didn't think I was going to make it. I was in a coma for four weeks." I explain, even though I owe him nothing. Clint nods in response as I look down at my shining wedding ring and band.

"I'm glad you're alive." He says honestly, a small smile on his face. I don't return the gesture, sitting up straight even though it made my lungs and abdomen ache. Ow ow ow.

"Of course you are. If I am alive that means I can ask for you to be let go. That's what you want. And I know, none of this mess was truly your fault. My sister crawled herself into your mind." I respond, watching Clint's every movement. He pales slightly, which makes me chuckle dryly, smiling.

"Pey-I-" Clint starts and I shake my head.

"I'm not lying and you know it. I hold the power here, not you." I cut him off and the color continues to drain from his face. He doesn't know what to say, until he decided to open his mouth. His dumb fucking mouth.

"Natasha told me on Vormir about what she and Steve did to you." Clint blurts out and my heart drops slightly. I try to keep my face even, trying to not show my shock. He smiles and says, "She confessed it to me. Told me how bad she felt for hurting you like that, for hurting your marriage-especially at such a difficult time."

I was hoping that neither Natasha nor Steve had told anyone what had happened. I thought they were too ashamed of what had happened-what really had happened- that neither of them would speak of it. Natasha must have felt like she had to confess it before she died and I wished she would have told anyone else, anyone but Clint.

Because I wasn't going to tell anyone the truth- the real truth. I was being honest when I told everyone to that Steve had cheated on me. I had lied to Bucky when I told him it was Sharon. I hadn't seen her since she got us our marriage certificates. No, Steve had decided to have an affair with my best friend in a time when I needed them both. Natasha and my husband, Steve and my best friend- they had both betrayed me. I couldn't let anyone else know that Natasha was the other woman-so I decided to say it was Sharon. Yes, that was incredibly shitty thing to do, but I couldn't say out loud that Steve had cheated on Natasha. It hurt way too much. Still hurt too much.

But that was a story for another time.

I want to hit Clint, want to slap him across the face. But I keep my cool. I shift slightly in seat.

"Oh Clint, you do not want to play this little game. Should I tell your sweet wife that you came to me after she and your children turned into dust? Or should I tell the government about all that killing that can sure as hell be tied to you. That won't make you leave here any faster, Barton." I retort, smiling at him. He swallow hard, shaking his head.

"There's dozen of cameras here, Pey. You aren't afraid they're going to catch your little threats?" Clint attempts to tease me, leaning forward slightly. I laugh and lean forward as well, smirking.

"Who do you think makes those cameras, Clint?" I ask and he turns as white as a ghost. I pull out my phone, sending a text to Bucky that I'm ready. Within a minute, the door opens and the guard and Bucky Barnes walks in. Clint turns his head to see who is coming it. Bucky doesn't even glance at him. I shakily stand, Bucky wrapping his arm around me to hold me up. Clint has his eyes narrowed at the both of us. Awww, you jealous bitch?

"I wanted to see if you were remorseful at all about what you have done, but I really don't think you are. I'll see if I can help you, but I don't know how much I can do. Sorry." I announce in a sweet, innocent little voice. His eyes widen and I just simply shrug, letting Bucky lead me away. Clint stands, looking obviously pissed off. Good.

Clint didn't need to know that his wife had personally asked me for Clint to stay in jail a little while longer. He didn't need to know a damn thing and I would do anything Laura Barton would ask me to. This little meeting was just really me trying to see how long he should stay there. I didn't care about Clint anymore. He could rot in there for the rest of his life and I wouldn't bat an eye. They buzz us out of the room and then out of the prison. I'll text Laura later, ask her what she wanted me to do.

"You okay?" Bucky asks, helping me to the car. I nod, opening the door for myself before I slip inside. Bucky shuts the door and I grimace, all the pain finally hitting me as I put on myseatbelt. Bucky gets into the car, putting on his seatbelt. He starts the car just like I taught him to and pulls out of the parking lot. It starts to rain, pelting the car with water. The sky is gloomy, but I'm not. Not even in the slightest.

"I would like to take a nap once we get back, before Benny gets back from school." I say, glancing at Bucky. He nods in response. I turn my head to look out the window, watching the scenery as we drive past it.

Things had changed, to put it lightly. Things had changed so, so much. When all this Avengers bullshit started, I didn't think any of this would happen. I didn't think I was going to marry Steve or have children. I didn't think I was going to lose my brother. I thought Bucky Barnes was dead. I thought I was just going to be a SHIELD agent forever, Hell back then I was in love with Clint. And now-now there was no SHIELD. My brother was gone, as was my best friend. I loved Steve and had some type of feelings for Bucky Barnes. I have two lovely children and I am in charge of the Avengers. I had no feelings toward Clint, none that are positive. You could tell 2012 me everything that was going to happen and I would tell you that you were full of shit.

When this had all started, I was twenty-five. Twenty fucking five. I was young and fearless. I was an alcoholic and drug addict that couldn't die. And now I was a thirty-six year old mother of two young boys. A widow. I have lived a long, difficult life. A messy life full of death. I have been through a bunch of shit, but I'm not going to let that stop me. I am not dead yet. I had the rest of my life ahead of me and I sure as hell wasn't going to live it quietly. I had a team to lead, a world always in need of saving, and two little boys to raise. There was a company that needed some help and needed to help others. I wasn't going to settle down into a quiet live. I couldn't. Do you know why?

Because I am Peyton fucking Stark-Rogers.