54-Heart of Glass

Vision's body was laying on the table, grey and lifeless. I didn't even know where to start. I sighed and walked over to a computer, my brain barely even working. I didn't sleep well last night, especially since I slept alone. Steve was off doing something else and he wasn't back this morning. I knew he's not cheating on me, but ever since my breakdown outside, he's been distant. You shouldn't have mentioned the past three years. You know how bad he felt about having you on the run.

"FRIDAY, pull up a 3-D scan of Vision, please." I tell the AI, trying to think of ways to fix this whole situation. I feel like Atlas in this situation, the whole weight of the world on my shoulders. I can't do anything but hold it up. I rub my temple, just trying to think.

"Yes Mrs Stark-Rogers." She responds and by the time I turn around, there's a scan of Vision hovering over his body. I pull away the first layer of his skin to see what's underneath it. I can't even think of any other way to power Vision without the mind stone. Breathe, don't get mad. Suddenly, my breakfast makes me sick and I have to run to the bathroom. I cover my mouth and manage to make it to the bathroom just in time. The door to the lab opens as I'm retching. You're a mess, Peyton Stark-Rogers, y'know that?

"Peyton, you okay?" Bruce calls out just as I flush the toilet. I stand up, using the spare toothbrush I now keep in this bathroom. I brush the taste of bile from my mouth. I walk out, wiping the water from my mouth. Bruce looks a little worried, but he understands. He doesn't mention the dark circles under my eyes, which I'm glad of. I looked fucked up.

"Yeah, kid's just being an asshole." I tell him, walking back over to the table, "I have no fucking idea where to start." Bruce chuckles, standing on the other side.

"Same here. I haven't done anything truly science related in maybe three years or so. I don't even know how we managed to do this in the first place." He responses and I chuckle, using the hologram to go down to the core of Vision.

"Last then we had Tony to yell at us the whole time." I tease and he nods. Absentmindedly, my hand rests on my stomach as I study the core, "Do we have a copy of Vision's mainframe stored anywhere?"

"FRIDAY, do we?" Bruce asks as I wait in anticipation. She takes her sweet time in answering.

"I will check the archives."

-

Steve Rogers felt like shit.

For three years, he had kept his wife-his beautiful, smart, amazing wife-from her brother. Peyton's sobs that night had opened his eyes. Clint and Scott both took plea deals, so Peyton could have done the same. She could have been with her brother this whole time. Peyton could've wrote him like she wrote Tony. It would've been okay, they would've been okay.

Steve forced himself to run around the compound faster, trying to punish himself. Peyton had hidden her feelings about missing her brother while they were hiding and he felt like shit that she felt like she had to do that. What kind of husband was he?

He didn't sleep in their bed last night. He just couldn't. Steve couldn't lay beside his wife knowing that he had given her a shitty life these past three years. Peyton had broken down after the snap and that day outside, but that had been it. Neither of them have discussed their feelings. Idiotically, they just bundled them up and stuffed them deep down. Steve missed his two closest friends (other than his wife and Natasha). He was sure Peyton knew that he was hurting, but she didn't push him.

And now, they were going to fall apart.

Steve slowed to a stop, trying to catch his breath. It was going to be another night of sleeping apart. He just needed to think, needed to cope. The Captain didn't want to to vent to his wife now. She was trying to fix this mess, trying to bring her brother and everyone else back.  Steve sighed and forced himself to keep running.

-

Natasha walked into the lab a few minutes after Bruce had walked out to get lunch. She carried a stack of papers with her, all from Fury and SHIELD. She had found them while searching through some of the archives at the base and well, Peyton had to see them.

"Bruce, you're back already? Oh." The blonde asks, turning around as the door reopens. Peyton was hunched over Vision's body so as soon as she saw Nat, she straightened. 

"Hey, I found some stuff you'll want to see." Natasha says, walking over to the other woman. Peyton wipes her hands on a rag, walking to where Natasha had placed the stack of papers. Natasha hands her the paper which was the most eye opening to read while the Russian spy studied her fellow spy. Peyton had dark circles under her eyes. Her blonde hair was messily pulled back and the Stark Industries shirt she was wearing clearly showed how pregnant she was. There was a pencil stuck in her ponytail for safe keeping. Peyton's green eyes widened as she read and reread the paper.

"Jesus Christ, why didn't he give Steve or you this fucking job." The blonde grumbles, setting the paper down. She shuts her eyes, pinching the bridge of her nose. Natasha chuckles, leaning against the table.

"Well for one, you outrank both Steve and I. Two, who else is more worthy of this job?" She asks. Natasha wasn't bullshitting her friend. When SHIELD was around, Peyton outrank everyone on the team. She was right up there with Coulson and Hill. Peyton laughs drily, looking at Natasha.

"Leading the team in such a formal way-that should be Tony or Steve's job." Peyton responds, turning from the papers. Natasha furrowed her brows together, sitting on a stool.

"Why can't it be yours? You've been more involved with SHIELD than both of them. Look at how you took control of the situation when we were in Wakanda. You deserve this, Pey." Natasha tries to convince her. Peyton fiddles with a screwdriver, looking out of the window.

"I'll never be able to forgive myself if he dies on my watch, Natalia. Or if any of you guys die on my watch." She tells her friend quietly. Natasha sits up. It was always...hard to see either of the Stark siblings become so serious. They were always so fun loving and happy and when they weren't-well it was like a rain cloud hovered over them. An uncomfortable silence settled over the room as Peyton thought before the blonde turned to look at Natasha. Something had settled inside of her.

"Have you done what I've asked you to?" Peyton asks, her voice serious and even. A smile appears on Natasha's face as she realizes what Pey has chosen.

"I'll get right on it, Director Stark." Natasha responds and Peyton sighs, "I'm sorry Director Stark of the Avengers. Does that help?"

-

Steve wasn't at dinner and I returned to an empty room. My emotions were too high and I felt like if Steve was to show up, I was going to kick his ass. Three days without seeing him. Three damn days. During the three days that he's been gone, his missed his son's first movements. I'm so angry and baby, you should be too. I walk further into the room, using my powers to shut the door behind me. I pull out one of Steve's shirts and a pair of his sweatpants, leaving them on the bed for me.

I pulled the rubber band out of my hair, leaving it on the counter in the bathroom. I shook my hair out as I took my clothes off. The shower was turned on using my powers, the water heating up quickly. I toe off my socks, leaving them with the rest of my dirty clothes before climbing into the shower. I sighed as the water poured over me, head tilted back and eyes shut.

Of course, I should've told Steve how I was feeling about my brother. Of course I should make known my feelings. Should've, could've, would've.

I'm sorry baby. I'm sorry.

Once I'm finished with my shower, I walk out to the bedroom, my towel wrapped tightly around me. I'm too lost in my thoughts and I don't notice the man in a dark hood standing in the corner of my room.

"Don't scream, it's me." A voice that's unmistakably Clint's tells me when I finally notice him.

"Jesus fucking Christ. Hold on, let me put some damn clothes on." I mutter to him before grabbing Steve's clothes off my bed. I put them on as fast as I can. I walk back out, messing with the panel on my wall, turning on the soundproofing in the walls. The lights were already lowered.

"I'm sorry for being here so unexpected." Clint says as he turns around, his eyes on my stomach, "Wow. You're really pregnant, huh?"

"I wouldn't lie about something like that." I respond, my eyes narrowing at him as my hand moves to rest over my stomach protectively. Clint clearly notices my movements and his eyes grow soft. I know Clint all too well. Something's wrong.

"They're gone, aren't they?" I ask, my eyes lifting to look at him. His eyes stay on my stomach. He doesn't have to respond for me to know the answer to my question.

"How far along are you?" Clint asks, his voice even. His eyes finally meet mine as he looks at me for the first time in over three years. I can feel him studying every part of me. Longer, darker hair. The deep dark circles under my eyes, the weight I had gained because of the baby. It was probably a good thing the purple bruises from Thanos were gone from around my neck.

"Four months. It's a boy." I tell him, voice soft. Clint nods and stands awkwardly in the room. This is Steve and I's room. He knows better than to just sit on the bed.

"Congrats. Steve must be happy." There's resentment in his voice, but we both know it's unwarranted. I turn my head away from him, thinking of the first child that was a mixture of Clint and I. I hold my stomach. Please don't leave me, baby. Don't leave.

"We both are. Why are you here, Clint?" I ask, trying to keep my voice even and force away thoughts of the lost babies. I force myself to look at the archer as he takes off his hood. His stormy eyes finally meet mine.

"I-I needed to make sure you were okay." Clint says, pressing his lips together.

"You could've done that by turning on a TV or reading a newspaper." I respond, narrowing my eyes slightly. I really wish Steve was here. Clint wouldn't be in my room if Steve was here. My skin feels too hot, my fingers are glowing red in the dark room.

"I needed to see you, okay?" He says suddenly, his eyes staying on me. I shake my head, looking away. My rings, thankfully, are off.

"You need to leave." I tell him, my voice firm as I turn to look at him. Clint was expecting that answer from the look on his face.

"Pey, listen-"

"I'm married, Clint. You're married. I'm pregnant. You need to go." I continue, moving to open the window, "So leave. We will get you when we need you."

"You love me." He says, his hand wrapping around my upper arm. My body stills and those feelings, my love for him that I once had, it doesn't show itself. It's gone. I shake my head, looking at the archer.

"No, I used to love you. I love Steve with my whole heart." I respond and he lets go of my arm as if I was a piece of garbage, "You didn't love me Clint. You loved the idea of being with me."

"You-You don't know that." Clint stutters, looking at me. There's tears in my eyes as he realizes that I'm no longer his.

"I do. I've known that since we first had sex. I wanted to give you everything, but you didn't care. You need to go. I've moved on." I continue and he shakes his head.

"No, no, you-you settled for Steve! You don't love him!" Clint yells at me and I shake his hand off my arm. It's disgusting, the way he's groveling.

"I know you didn't love me because you told me to kill my baby, Barton. If you love someone, you don't just do that to someone you love. If you truly love me, you wouldn't have came here. You're lonely and you want someone to console you. You're upset because you have the one thing you wanted for a while which is for Laura to be gone and now that you have it, you want to use me again. You want to drain me of everything I am again and now you can't. So you can leave. I don't want you here." My words cut him like a knife, but I don't feel a damn thing. My hair is still soaking wet since I didn't get to fully dry off.

Clint doesn't respond and just slips out the window. I shut and lock it before drying off my hair. I walk out of my room and vow to keep the fact that Clint was in my room to myself.

Natasha can tell me he's alive when she finds him.

I pull back the blankets on the bed and lay down. Steve's clothes make me want him even more, but I'm not going to force him to be with me when he obviously doesn't want to. My hands rest on my stomach.

I'm sorry, baby, you deserve so much better.