Chapter XIII

A/N:Here's another chapter that made me sob countless times. It's the longest chapter I've ever written and I hope you guys enjoy it. There are only two chapters left and this book will probably be finished in the next two following weeks. Thank you for reading, don't forget to vote and comment.

Ben's POV:

I felt dead. There was no point in living if the thing you loved was taken from you. I didn't have any fight left in me. I was already viewed as weak and a traitor by the rest of the First Order ever since they discovered the reason why I killed Hux. They would have found out sooner or later, at this point it didn't matter. The only reason Snoke kept me alive is because he believed I could distract Rey while the rest attempted to kill her. Those were not my plans though. I didn't care if the attack failed or succeeded, I was only interest in having the opportunity of explaining myself to Rey. Snoke could threaten my life all he wanted, but at the end of the day his threats were meaningless to me.

Few still took orders from me, the rest responded to Snoke. Everyone feared of the consequences of failing Snoke knowing their fates lied in his hand. If members of the Resistance survived, he wouldn't hesitate in slaughtering those who returned unsuccessful. Followers of the First Order praised the Supreme Leader, but he was a coward who never fought, but instead sent people to fight in his name. Not even now was he willing to take responsibility for the deaths caused by his desire to see the Republic burn to pieces. The old me would have sided with him. If I had never met Rey, I would've happily agree to annihilate whoever Snoke ordered me to. Now, I could care less of who he wanted dead.

"Focus Kylo," Snoke interjected. "If I were you I'd be more worried of what's at stake if I don't get what I want."

"If you want the rebels dead you should kill them yourself."

"Fiesty Kylo, you should save your bravery for the battlefield," he snarled. " Looks like everyone else boarded, now it's your turn."

Lines of Stormtroopers were already boarded along with their generals, each one carried their own blaster.

He escorted me to the largest aircraft were the greatest number of Stormtroopers were contained. He was afraid I would commit some idiotic decision.

"Don't trigger my anger Kylo, I expect perfect results." He gave me one last smirk before the aircraft door was sealed tightly behind him.

Pilots instructed the onboard deflector shields to be turned on immediately. The majority of the stares were directed towards me, they all doubted my allegiance. I would not fight alongside them, not anymore. My alliance to the First Order had ended the moment I had fallen in love with Rey.

It was nothing but silent as we waited to arrive at the base of the Resistance. No one spoke a word, no one moved a muscle. No one had anything left to say. For most it was their last moments of life before they were assassinated. For their sakes I hoped not one of them survived, who knew what type of torture Snoke had in store for them.

By the time of about an hour we were only a few feet above ground before the first shuttle landed on the terrain of the rebels.

"I don't see anyone," called out the main pilot. "There's nothing but rocks and dirt."

Sure enough as I made my way to the front by a window, there were only boulders. Not a single person was in sight. Rey probably told them about our arrival. They were hiding from us. She was on their side. The first blast was shot, hitting a shuttle directly on the wing and causing it to crash down. Millions of more shots flew from all different directions. Our shields did their best to put up with all the damage, but eventually they could no longer hold up.

Shuttles from the opposing side were uncovered and soon enough battling in the air. The entire time I was focused on finding Rey. I studied the face of every person that passed by, but she was never one of them.

"Be prepared for a harsh landing

."

"No not yet," if he landed know we'd crush hundreds.

"We don't follow your orders anymore. I'll land this god damn ship where ever I think right."

I threatened him with my red blade to slit his throat right were he was sitting.

"You'll find another place to land." He slightly shook his head in understanding, to afraid to come in contact with the red light.

I kept my hand on his shoulder to remind him of what would happen if he disobeyed me.

"Land over there," I directed to a spot free of people only with an unsteady hill.

"Out hurry." Stormtroopers exited with weapons in hand. Few missed their targets, it seemed as if Snoke's threats had finally fixed their terrible aim.

Seconds out of the shuttle and I was already being targeted by three men. Using the force, I left them paralyzed in place. All three willingly accepted death know sooner or later they'd have to accept their fates. Instead of going through with their predictions, I left them behind.

Countless of men followed in attempt to kill me. Some with great bravery and others to controlled by fear to cause any damage. Their shots would cause me no pain I haven't felt before. I fought one by one, trying my best to not let any more blood be spilled on my hands. The bravest scattered with only mere scratches and the fearful ran with no mark.

Only three steps further and I was hit with two powerful presences. One of them I could sense as Rey, but the second one was unfamiliar to me. Could it be my uncle? He had disappeared. Too many years had gone by without a single piece of knowledge of his location, all except an incomplete map.

I split the crowds like the Red sea as I followed the energy filled path. It eventually led me to where Rey was fighting off two Stormtroopers and next to her sure enough was my uncle protecting from those who came behind her. After all this time he still had an impressive ability with force. It didn't take him more than a minute to knock out everyone of them. He didn't harm a single hair on their heads rather than left them to be taken by other rebels. Rey, in the other hand was merciless, one after the other they were slayed.

My uncle was the first to locate my whereabouts and alert with a cry for help. The tone of his voice was troubled and filled with remorse. "Help her Ben. Don't let her dark ways get the best of her. Fix her."

I'd save her soul from the darkness if it were the last thing I did.

I admired her strength. Even through all the chaos and obstacles placed in her path, she never failed to show courage. I watched from afar as she defended the hairy monster while he pulled out the injured and brought them to safety .

I waited for the right moment to appear from behind the fires. She was already looking for me. She knew I was here. It was time. Slowly I came out from my hiding and dragged my feet until Rey noticed me. I felt my entire body being shocked when she stared at me.

Rey. I had her standing before me again. The same girl with the dark chestnut hair and the furrowed eyebrows. The rosiness that once stood out from her cheeks was now vanished. She looked sick and exhausted. I wanted to take her into my arms and cradle for all eternity. I wanted to apologize a million of times until for everything stupid I've done with my life. The only part of my life that wasn't a mistake was falling in love with her. She was deeply affected by my presence. Her hands trembled and her skin was pale yet it looked so soft. Her loose hairs of her scalp covered her eyes yet I felt them on me. Observing every step I took closer to her. I held my breath, too afraid she'd push me away if I were too near.

Five steps were all that stood in between us. I could see how she was in conflict with my presence. She wanted to kill me, but she couldn't bring herself to do it. If that's what she truly wanted them I would let her if it brought some happiness upon her. My uncle said to fix her, maybe this was the only way she could be fixed.

FN-2187 came running to her rescue, he thought I would kill her. He cared about her. He loved her.

"Rey run!!" he pulled her wrist but she wouldn't give, she stood there frozen with her eyes staring directly into mine. This was my opportunity of earning her forgiveness.

He removed mask and let it crash and break. I didn't need to hide behind a piece of metal anymore. I needed to show Rey that I had changed for her.

I couldn't stop the tears demanding to be released As much as I couldn't couldn't control my weak legs to crumble.

"Rey..." I choked.

FN-2187 like always seemed to interrupt.

"Rey he killed Solo he deserves to die. You said so yourself you wanted to be the one to kill him."

"Rey please listen to me," I begged.

"I know I'm probably the last person you want to see, but please let me explain. "

I waited for her to say something, but nothing came out of her mouth. I took it as sign to continue.

"What Hux told you wasn't true Rey. He knew by tearing you away from my grasp would only destroy me. I never was going to go along with Snoke's plans, you and I were going to run off to be together where no one else could find us. That was our plan."

"Is true Rey?," he seemed betrayed. She didn't tell him of the love that blossomed between us."You were going to run away with him! You weren't going to come back!"

Rey was mine and she'd always be mine.

"Rey I know that deep down you believe me. Since you've returned into my life I've done nothing but change to be good enough for you. I knew there was a hope in returning me to the light, but I was too afraid to admit. But you Rey, you taught me to be brave, to fight for what I want. To not give up. You've brought me closer to the light than anyone else. I need you Rey and I know you need me too. I know how much you despise being alone, being abandoned leaves a scar. I've seen every scar on you, I know the pain you've endured and you don't have to keep living that way. We were meant for each other. The dark is always attracted to the light and for me you are my light. I can't live without you."

She was breaking right in front of my eyes. Fallen tears where staining her pale cheeks.

"You've murdered hundreds including your own father, a man who loved you unconditionally," she cried out.

"I know, and you don't understand how much I regret all of my horrible actions. They slowly break me apart, but there's left I can do. I can't reverse time and I cant take back my actions. I'll always live with the guilt and regret, but if the only way I can be with you is by enduring this torture then I'll take it. I'll do anything you ask me."

All I wanted was her forgiveness and her happiness, but obtaining at least one was enough to satisfy me.

"How do I know you're not lying to me. For all I know this could be a trap to kill me."

I've lost her trust.

"I know I'm a killer, but I would never harm you Rey. I love you." I would never love another person as much as I loved her.

"What happened to Hux?" she asked.

"I killed him... I-I'm so sorry Rey I couldn't control myself. If if weren't for him I'd still have you."

I could've said how I regretted killing him, but I honestly didn't. This was all his fault. The possible way I saw fit for his punishment was through death.

"I want to trust you but I just cant," she sobbed.

"Then let me prove my trust to you." I tugged my greatest weapon off my waist and gently placed in her palms. Hopefully she knew how this signified my trust in her. She could openly kill me right now and I wouldn't oppose her.

She was uncomfortable having it in her possession. She carefully ran her fingers over each metal part and studied it carefully.

Fighters of both side stopped and stared to see what was happening. I only took notice of my uncle's arrival and my mother's. Her eyes gleamed with joy once she saw me. I hadn't noticed how much I missed her until I saw her again.

I carefully placed my hands over Rey's. Her skin was warm and smooth just like I remembered. What made my heart skip a beat was that she didn't pull away. Our moment was cut short.

I suddenly felt a large sting in my shoulder causing me to fall back. I gritted teeth and found the source of my wound was traitor with Rey's lightsaber in hand.

"You stupid coward," he shrieked. "Rey might not be able to see it, but I can still see straight though you.."

I rolled out of the way as he lunged the blue blade forward. I crawled backward avoiding every hit he had in store for me.

"Finn stop! I'm begging you please don't kill him!" She cried out after him.

He didn't stop though and that have Rey no other option, but to toss me my lightsaber. I ignited it before he cut through my chest. I pushed him off of me, giving me time to rise back on my feet.

"Finn I don't want to hurt you," I warned.

"No, but I do!"

He ran towards me again and continuously aiming for my chest with all his might. I blocked him with the strength I had left. I didn't want to hurt him. Rey would never forgive me I were the one to kill him.

"You called me a traitor for leaving the First Order, but I bet you're disobeying Snoke's orders right now," he roared.

As he ran for me again, my red blade came in contact with his arm, cutting straight across.

He yelped out a horrible scream, but still he wouldn't back down.

"Enough Finn." Rey called out again.

"I warned you."

I let my demon get the best of me. I struck back harder than before. His face bashed into rocks and dirt while while my blade cut through the exposed skin of his knee. He screamed and begged for me to stop.

Blood spilled down on his jacket and eventually his shirt.

No, I was supposed to be better than this. Do it for her. I pulled away taking large gulps of breath. I couldn't breathe.

"I'm done fighting Finn. " I lowered down to him and extended my hand. "Please."

"No." He reached for both lightsabers before knocking me down and holding both above me. "Any last words, before I shove these two up that black hole you call a heart."

This was it. I would be dead in a matter of seconds. I stared hopelessly at Rey, begging for her forgiveness and then mouthing a goodbye.

I looked at death prepared and with bravery. I'd die knowing Rey loved me. I closed my eyes and waited for the blades to impale me, but they never came. Instead they had went through Rey. The ends of both popped out her back as she fell lifeless to the ground.

"REY!"

I rushed to her side and pulled both lightsabers out and shook her uncontrollably.

"What did you do? Why Rey, why? It was supposed to be me not you."

I pulled her close to me and hugged her with all my strength. This was all my fault. She had sacrificed herself for me. She saved me.

"Rey." I placed small kisses all over her face and let my tears roll into her cheeks. "I lost you too."

I felt a slight tug coming from her body, but my hopes were crushed when I saw it was the murder pulling on her hand.

"No! Back away from her. You killed her. This is all your fault. You had the chance of backing down and you didn't take it. I hope you're happy now." I took her hands away from his filthy ones and held her closer to me.

"I didn't mean to. I-It was all an accident," he murmured. "I'm so sorry Rey, I'm so sorry."

To see him crying and begging for forgiveness disgusted me. I want to slice his head off, but that would be too easy. I wanted him to live with the guilt and torture knowing he died because of him. He had killed her.

"It's okay Rey, you're going to be okay." I placed more kisses on her forehead, but avoided meeting my eyes with the two gaps in her chest. She had a whole life to live, adventures to discover, all sorts of things she'll never get to do. "I'm sorry Rey, this is all my fault."

With tear filled eyes I looked at my mom to see her crying as well and embracing Luke. She pulled away and rushed to my side.

"She's dead mom. She didn't deserve to die."

"Shh, it's okay Ben. She's in a better place, she'll be happy there."

She patted my hair back and wrapped her arms around my shoulders.

"She can finally rest."

For hours everything stayed the same. Every person was part of the circle that surrounded my mother, Rey's body and I. People mourned for her, kids walked up and placed flowers in her hair. Strangers said how sorry they were to see such a beautiful soul go. Their words of kindness only made me shake harder as I still cradled her body in my arms.

Eventually my uncle along with Chewbacca came to pull her body away from mine.

"No, don't take her from me, please." I pleaded and pleaded, but they didn't budge. She was taken away by both to be properly buried.

Poe Dameron along with others came to pull Finn away. His tears had drowned and he no longer had the strength to walk by himself.

I stayed put on the ground alongside my mother. She assured me I would be find, that she' d always be in my heart. I traced my fingers where her body had fallen. I reached the point where no more years could spill from eyes. I laid motionless on the ground.

My mother later ordered rebels to bring inside. I was placed on one of the medical beds where I was treated for my injuries. I didn't feel the burn of the alcohol as it made impact with my body.

I felt no pain at all with Rey gone.

~E