~𝟵~

I woke up, shooting upright in bed. My head hurt and my throat felt raw. I rubbed my eyes and tried to think of where I was. My thoughts cleared a bit and I remembered; I was staying with the boys. I rubbed my throat, not quite awake enough to remember why it hurt. I shook my head, the pain flaring slightly before subsiding a little again. Then my eyes grew wide as I remembered what had happened. My breathing quickened and my heart rate spiked. I had to get out, get away.

I yanked the covers off of my body and bounded to the door, slamming against it when I stumbled. I grabbed the handle and twisted, but it wouldn't budge. I twisted and twisted, jiggling the handle in a miserable attempt to free myself. I started banging on the door, screaming for someone to let me out. I banged the door until my hands were bruised and bleeding, my voice hoarse from screaming. My fist met the wood on last time, my strength leaving my body completely. I leaned against the door and slid down onto the carpet, my bloody hands leaving red smears on the white wood. Tears were spilling over my cheeks and my body shook with violent sobs.

Then I heard footsteps approaching the door. My brain sprang to the worst conclusion it could think of. I moved away from the door as fast as I could, not wanting to face the man on the other side. A key turned in the lock and I turned away from the door, clutching my head in my hands to protect myself from the pain to follow. The door swung open and I sat there, trembling in fear. Footsteps approached me, but I just stayed curled up, not wanting to see his face. Instead, I heard a gentle voice.

"Hey, Ava. It's okay. It's just us. We're here now."

It was Changbin. I uncurled myself to find them all standing in front of me, Changbin kneeling close to me and reaching a hand out. I felt tears spring to my eyes again, and I leapt and engulfed him in a hug, so relieved to see a friendly face instead of the one my demons conjured up. I cried on his shoulder, violent sobs ripping through my body again. He gently cradled me in his arms until I stopped crying. My breathing was still shaky, but I was feeling much better. He smiled gently at me, before his gaze caught hold of my hands. He reached out a hand to take mine, but I winced and pulled away.

"What happened to your hands?"

Changbin turned around when he heard someone clearing their throat, Felix pointing to the door. I looked down guiltily, not wanting to see their disappointed gazes. Instead, I felt fingertips lifting my chin ever so gently. Felix had come to crouch down in front of me. He wiped the remaining tears from my cheeks with his thumbs.

"I-I'll clean it, I promise. I just need a little ti-"

"That's not necessary. We can do it. What you need to do right now is rest."

"But-"

"No buts. Get in bed and let us handle everything else."

He helped me up and back into bed. Then he chased the other boys out, going into the bathroom to get the first aid kit. He got out two bandages, some gauze and disinfectant. He gently took my left hand, examining the damage. He was very careful not to hurt me. My fingers still trembled in his grip as he gently ran his thumb across them, not once hurting me. He warned me the disinfectant would sting, and when I winced after application, he immediately took my hand and blew on it, easing the stinging sensation. Then he applied the gauze and bandage. The process was repeated on the other hand. I watched his brows furrow in concentration. When he was finished, he cleaned up and got up to leave when I spoke.

"Wait."

He turned, leaning against the doorframe.

"Yes? Is there something you need?" he asked, concern washing over his features.

"Can... Can you please stay? Just until I fall asleep?"

His eyes widened slightly before a caring smile spread across his lips.

"Sure. I'll stay as long as you want."

He dragged a chair next to my bed and took a seat as I turned on my side. It was still early in the afternoon, but I was suddenly very tired. I snuggled into the pillows, sleep not far away with his presence to watch over me. My eyes fell shut, and I drifted off into the black abyss.

(Third person)

After Ava fell asleep, the boys got together downstairs, wanting to discuss what had happened. They all took a seat, shifting around uncomfortably. No one wanted to speak. They all felt like it would be impeding into her situation, but it had to be discussed.

"Well, we're here so... I guess we should start."

Chan didn't speak with as much confidence as usual.

"Well, we have all probably figured out that she broke down. Completely. My only question is what do we do now? How do we help her?" Lee Know asked.

"Well, she's going through a really tough time right now, so I think the only thing we can do is be there for her," Chan answered.

"But what if she pushes us away, Hyung? If we push too hard, it'll just get worse."

"I agree, Jeongin, but there isn't really anything else we can do. The agency is already sending out all the other agents to track the guy down. And we can't very well leave her here alone to go looking for him. I want us all to stay here in case she's only willing to talk to one of us."

"If she's willing to talk at all," Lee Know added.

"Hey. She might not be ready to talk, but that doesn't mean we can push her into it. I won't put her through that," Changbin countered.

"I don't want to push her. I just don't think she'll ever be ready to talk to us. I mean, as far as I can tell, she hasn't told anyone. Ever. And it was probably that guy that caused the trauma she's going through. So why would she talk to guys about the things a guy did to her?"

"She is willing to talk to us; she just isn't ready yet. She told me so herself when I found her in the training area the other night when I couldn't sleep. She just needs some time."

"Time we don't have. She has three weeks of probation left and by the looks of it, those three weeks might get shortened to one. She won't have told us by then. How can we trust her with having our backs if she can't even trust us enough to tell us why she cries herself to sleep and wakes up screaming every night?"

"Lee Know Hyung, just think about why she might not be telling us. Whatever that man did to her has broken her to such an extent that she can't even live her normal life. Maybe she thinks we'll judge her for what happened. Maybe she's afraid that we'll do the same things to her once she tells us. There has to be a reason," Felix said.

"And maybe if we can figure out the reason as to why she isn't telling us, we can put her at ease about it. Then she might be more willing to talk," Hyunjin added.

They all nodded, thinking it might work. After that they all went to their rooms to think of more ways to help her.

(First person, Ava's perspective)

That night, I woke up crying from a nightmare again. They were getting worse. During the day I was avoiding the guys, too afraid that they would ask questions. But during the night, I felt so alone. Even though I had eight other people in the house with me. So, that night I decided that I had to do something. I didn't want to bother them, so instead I sat against one of their doors. Listening to the heavy breathing through the wood. It made me feel slightly less alone. And surprisingly, I felt safer. I fell asleep in front of a different door every night for a week, making sure to be back in my own bed before they woke up. One night, I was fast asleep against Hyunjin and Han's door when it opened inward, sending me tumbling onto the hardwood floor of their room. It jolted me awake and I turned around, looking up at the silhouette in front of me. As my vision cleared, I could make out Hyunjin's handsome features and messy black hair. He rubbed his eyes before looking down at me, finally noticing my presence. He jumped. I looked down guiltily and crawled out of the doorway, getting up and making my way back to my room. I felt his hand take my shoulder and turn me around. I looked at his eyes, then looked down again. He gently lifted my chin, giving me a smile.

"Come on. I'll make us some coffee. Then we can talk," he whispered.

I followed him downstairs, my blanket tightly wrapped around my shoulders. He turned on the kitchen light and filled up the kettle before turning it on. I took a seat at the island, my feet dangling just above the ground. He stood against the counter, his hands supporting his weight. We stayed in silence until the kettle finished boiling. Then he got out two cups and made us some coffee. His own black, mine with milk and sugar. I sipped it slowly, anxiously waiting for him to ask what I was doing there. Surprisingly, that wasn't what he asked.

"The dreams are getting worse, aren't they? That's why you slept in front of our door?"

I sighed before answering.

"Yeah. The nightmares just kept getting worse, and I felt so alone. And I was scared. So, I thought that it would help if I was closer to you guys. But I didn't want to bother you, so I just slept on the floor in front of your doors instead. I'm sorry."

At my words, he came around the island, stopping next to my chair. I turned to him.

"Can I give you a hug?" he asked.

I smiled slightly at his question and nodded. He gently wrapped his arms around my shoulders, pulling me into his chest. His warmth felt soothing on my skin. I smiled, snuggling tighter into the hug as I wrapped my arms around his waist.

"You don't have to be sorry. And you don't have to worry about bothering us. We are here for you. Any time of the day. Or night."

I pulled back slightly. "Okay," I said softly before diving back into the hug. After we finished our coffee, he took me back to my room. And he insisted to stay with me until I fell asleep, even though I told him to go to his own room. He wouldn't budge so I gave up and let sleep steal me away.