~𝟴~

(Third person, Changbin's perspective)

Changbin slipped out of his room, making sure not to wake up his roommate, Felix. He couldn't sleep. Something was gnawing at the back of his brain; he just couldn't figure out what. So, he went to the best place to think: the training area. To his surprise, Ava was there. She was just sitting on a bench, her eyes not focused on anything in particular. She must have noticed his presence because she shook her head and looked up at him.

"What are you doing up so late?" she asked.

"I could ask you the same thing."

"Couldn't sleep. You?"

"Couldn't sleep either. Usually, I just come down here if that happens, but I don't want to bug you, so I'll just go."

"Wait. Please stay. I could use some company."

Changbin turned back to her and searched her eyes. She looked scared. He took a seat next to her, making sure not to sit too close. He had picked up how whenever a member sat too close or touched her without her knowing beforehand, she would move away or flinch. He guessed it had something to do with the way she had been acting recently.

"Can I ask you something?" she said after a while. He nodded.

"Do you trust the members?"

He was taken aback by her question, but guessed it had a deeper meaning.

"I do. I trust them with my life. They have all saved my life at least once, as have I for them. We need each other. If I didn't have them, I wouldn't have lasted as long as I have, emotionally and physically. Why do you ask? Is there something you want to tell us?"

She visibly gulped. Probably uncomfortable with my question, he thought. The silence stretched out longer and longer. Changbin was just about to take back his question and apologize when she spoke again.

"Actually, I have been thinking about it. Telling you guys, I mean. About my past, and why I act so weird. I'm just afraid that it's still too soon. I mean we've only known each other for two and a half weeks."

She sighed and dropped her head into her hands, running her fingers through her loose hair.

"You don't have to tell us anything unless you are 100% ready to. We won't force you; I'll make sure of that."

"Why would you do that for me? I mean, I've only caused you all problems since I showed up. I probably won't even become part of the team. Why go through all that trouble for someone like me?"

"Because I was once just like you. I felt like I was a burden to everyone, and I wanted to explain my trauma, but couldn't. People pushed me for reasons as to why I acted the way I did, and then I didn't have a choice. I don't want that happening to anyone if I could stop that."

He smiled at her and got up off the bench. He held out his hand to her.

"Come on. I want to show you something."

She took his hand and followed him. Changbin led her around the house to a set of stairs she hadn't noticed before. He climbed up and stood at the railing of the small balcony. He heard her gasp and smiled to himself. He motioned for her to stand next to him and pointed up. Through the dense canopy of trees, a clear river of sky showed just above the house. It gave a breath-taking view of the stars. Changbin felt himself relax slightly at the sight. It always calmed him down.

"This is really... woah. I haven't seen stars like this... well, ever."

He smiled at her and took a seat on one of the chairs on the balcony. She sat down next to him, eyes not once leaving the stars. After a short while, he could hear her gentle breathing next to him, indicating she was asleep. He gently lifted her off the chair and carried her back inside. He took her to her room and tucked her in. Then a sudden dreariness rushed over him. He got back in his own bed and, in no time flat, he was out like a light.

(First person, Ava's perspective)

I woke up back in my bed, my mind still foggy with sleep. I stretched in bed. My memories from the previous night cleared up and I smiled. Changbin must have carried me to bed. I sat and reminisced for a while before I heard a knock on my door.

"Come in," I said. The door opened to reveal Han. He didn't look as cheerful as usual. I smiled at him, my uneasiness creeping up my spine at as to why he stood in my doorway.

"What can I help you with?" I asked. He shuffled around a bit.

"Take a seat." I patted the bed next to me, moving up to make space for him. I patiently waited for him to speak. He sighed.

"You have a history with one of the captives, right? Well, I wanted to tell you since you know him. Usually, our commander gets someone else in to take the prisoners away from here. But this time, the commander wants to see how we handle the situation, so we have to take the prisoners away today. And... he wants you to take that guy. The one you know."

I sucked a breath in, my fingers going numb. If I had to take him away, there was no way I could hide my identity from him. He'd figure it out and come back for me. Finish what he didn't last time.

"Chan tried to stop him; we all did. But he wouldn't listen. If there was anything we could have done, we would do it. But..."

I knew what he wanted to say, and I didn't like it. I gave a shaky sigh and squared my shoulders.

"I guess I'll just have to face the music," I said, looking over at Han who smiled at me sadly. I was not going to let this break me. Not in front of the boys. Not when I had finally proven that I was okay.

...

The hood over my head was heavy on my skin. The lightweight suit suddenly felt restricting. The commander had wanted us to wear our full gear, just in case something went wrong. I had an uneasy feeling that he was right, that something would go terribly wrong...

I pushed my inhibitions down as we walked down the corridor to the cells hidden under the house. I pulled the hood further over my eyes, it being the only thing that soothed my nerves, even if just slightly. We were set up in teams of two, having gotten a few more agents in to help. I felt Seungmin, my partner, gently grasp my hand. My eyes found his fingers wrapped securely around mine, then found his gaze. His eyes looked back at me reassuringly and he gave my hand a gentle squeeze.

"It'll be okay. And I'll be right here next to you. I might not know what happened between you two, but I'm here if you need me."

I got the feeling he was not just talking about transporting the prisoners, but it put me at ease. More than I thought it would. We got the all-clear to open the door, finding him standing at the little mirror on the wall. He came toward us, letting Seungmin cuff his hands before we both took an elbow and walked him out. I felt his eyes on me, and I silently prayed he couldn't see my face. I kept my head up, trying to exude confidence, even though I could feel my legs tremble underneath me. We got outside and to the car when I felt his arm tense. He was going to try something; I just knew it. He wouldn't go down without a fight. So, the moment I felt him move, I grabbed the back of his neck with my free hand and slammed him up against the car. I glared at the back of his head, willing myself not to do something I would regret. Seungmin took him from my grasp and shoved him in the back of the car. I had moved away by then, taking my hood off and rubbing my eyes. I pinched the bridge of my nose when I felt a gentle hand on my shoulder, the touch almost hesitating. I turned to find Chan behind me.

"You did good. I'm glad you got through this, even if we weren't there to help. And I hope this will help get you on the path to moving past the trauma. With our help if you need it."

I smiled at him, his endearing words making my heart flutter. I would need help getting through my stuff but having someone supporting me made me cautiously optimistic about it.

...

Later that night after dinner, we were all stretched out in the living room, just relaxing, and laughing, when a cell phone rang. It turned out to be Chan's phone. When he came back after the phone call, he looked distraught, making all of us sit upright with worry at what the call was about.

"The van the prisoners were transported in... It was in an accident.... the prisoners..."

We could all sense what he was saying, but I wanted to know for sure, my heart and mind moving too fast to just leave it.

"Did... Did they escape?" I asked, my voice unstable and getting caught in my throat.

"They all died... All but one..."

I felt the world fall away around me, the last part of his answer getting drowned out by my heart beating in my ears. I could hear the boys calling out my name, gently shaking me to bring my attention back, but I couldn't care less. He was going to come back for me, and then he was going to kill me, like he always said he would. I would be dead the moment I stepped out of the house, maybe even before that. My throat was closing off, making it impossible to breathe. I let out a strangled noise before running up to my room, barely making it to the bathroom before dinner came rising up in my throat. I wretched my guts out before collapsing on the cold bathroom floor. My entire body was trembling, my throat sore, eyes glazed over.

I tried to steady my breathing, but everything he did to me just came rushing back like a flood. The pain, the bruising, my throat raw from screaming out over and over again. Every single vivid, gut-wrenching detail came back with a vengeance. I turned onto my side, clutching my legs to my chest. I yelled for it to stop, over and over. I could hear voices, but they sounded distant and indistinct. I felt gentle warmth on my arms. Then it wrapped around me, engulfing me in soothing calm, but it wasn't enough. He always felt so warm to me, and then he did those things to me. I kept screaming, trying to kick myself free from the warmth I was trapped in. The grip just grew tighter.

I cried and screamed, my demons clawing their way up into my mind and heart again. I had pushed them down for so long, and now they were back. Every horrible thought. Every earth-shattering scream. I couldn't fight anymore. The warmth wouldn't let me go. I curled in on myself, feeling the tears stream down my face. I sat there, trembling, crying, wishing it would all just stop. The pain. The fear.

I let my demons grow, and deep fog clouded up my mind. My body stopped moving. My brain stopped fighting. I slipped into a place between asleep and awake. My thoughts still so clear, but my body too tired to fight back. I curled in on myself tighter and succumbed to the numbing blackness that washed over me.