chapter 17 - edited

Flashback pt1 [Chan's actions]

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Vegemite Aussie -Bang Chan

Vegimite AussieMorning sunshine

ChansbabygirlIt's winter ....I see noMorning sun nor shine

Vegimite AussieYou just had to ruinMy mood huh

Chansbabygirl Who knows whatThe all mighty ChristopherBang feels, because I surely don't

Vegimite AussieY/n

ChansbabygirlYes?

Vegimite AussieDid I do something wrong?

ChansbabygirlFunny you askDid you do something Wrong Bang Chan?

Vegimite AussieWell I don't knowWhich is whyI'm asking you isIt not?

ChansbabygirlI'm tired,chat later

Vegimite AussieY/n are you avoiding me?

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PossessedDolphinBoy Y/nnie are you avoiding me?

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Kittywhisperer Y/n, seems like you're avoiding me...

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🫀🧠"It's all the same"

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ChansbabygirlBabygirl?

PossessedDolphinBoyBestie?

KittywhispererLove?

🫀🧠"All the fucking same"

December 29th 2023

Classes

"You know I don't really like being left on read or ignored for that matter" a hoarse voice spoke from behind me as I walked through the parking lot , I hated how easily and fast I could recognised it

"Y/n" he said his voice laced with somewhat affection and slight authority like he knew I'd listen to whatever he said

"Chan" I replied turning to look at him "may I help you with something?" I asked and he sighed rubbing his temples before taking my hand in his and dragging me along with him

He opened the door for me motioning for me to get in, the moment I got in he closed the door not so gently or rough either then went to his side getting in "Why are you avoiding me"

I sighed....that question...its always that question "I was avoiding you because I think you're just using me. You don't actually love me, you just want to use me for your own personal gain." I looked at Chan, my expression serious, my voice voice firm. Like I was trying to convince myself that...this wasn't really happening

"Oh really, and what makes you think that? I thought we were good together." Chan's tone is slightly laced with mockery and his face shows a hint of a smirk. He was not taking the accusation seriously.

"I just have this gut feeling. This feeling that you're only interested in what I can do for you, not in who I actually am." i again choose to sigh, making my frustration and hurt clear

I have no right nor reason to be hurt🫀

"Ah, and what exactly can you do for me,englighten me please" He leans back against his seat, his tone now more affectionate with a slight hint of that arrogance "I'm just trying to figure out what it is that draws you to me, is all."

"I don't even know why I'm still here.... I should just leave." My voice breaks slightly as they talk, their eyes welling up with tears but I battered them away as i reached for the car door

"Now, now, no need to be so dramatic. Let's just talk this out like reasonable adults, shall we?"He takes my hand, his tone now softer and more soothing "I know this might be a bit of a shock, but I actually care about you. I think I may be falling for you, in fact."

🫀🧠why can't I just believe you...everything you just said to me...felt so ...fake

I sigh massaging my temples "I have class" I mumbled yanking my hand from his grasp and leaving without another word

"I doubt she believed anything you just told her" someone said from the back seat...someone...only chan knew was there but decided to not mention it to anyone because why would he?

"How about you shut up mate yeah?"Chan rolled his eyes at his buddies obvious point out

"Really?" His friend mocked

"Just....let's just go Hyunjin" chan said as he started the car

"Maybe next time try dropping me off at Starbucks so I don't have to face your terrible acting Hmm?...poor thing, totally deserves someone who doesn't have to recite what they have to say to win her over ..over a stupid bet" hyunjin scoffed as he hopped over to the passage seat as they drove out of campus

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.... january 6th 2023

I sat on my couch, surrounded by books and paperwork, lost in a world of my own. It had been a long, stressful week, and I was ready to unwind with a good book. As I was about to dive into a romance novel, I heard a knock at my door.

It was Chan. He looked worried as he held up a bouquet of flowers and a bag of candies,two coffes and a paper bag full of other treats and food. "I thought you might be in need of some company tonight," he said.

I smiled, grateful for his thoughtfulness. "Thank you, Chan. That's really sweet of you."

We chatted for awhile, our conversation covering everything from books to our favorite hobbies. But there was an underlying tension between us, a sense that we were both avoiding something.

Finally, I broke the silence. "Chan, there's something I need to tell you," I said, taking a deep breath. "It's been bothering me for a while now, and it's time I was honest with you."

He looked at me intently, clearly sensing that this was important. "What is it, y/n? You know you can trust me."

I hesitated for a moment before continuing. "I don't know how to say this, but I think we're moving too fast. We barely know each other, and yet we're acting like we're in a serious relationship. I'm not ready for that kind of commitment right now."

🧠lies....all we do is lie

🫀why are we lying....this is self sabotage...

Chan's expression softened as he took my hands in his. "y/n, you don't have to be afraid to tell me what's on your mind. Trust me when I say that I really care about you," he said, looking into my eyes. "I don't want to push you into anything you're not ready for. Let's just enjoy each other's company and see where things go, okay?" He smiled I swore I saw his smile falter slightly

His words comforted me, and I felt a weight being lifted off my shoulders. "Okay," I said, smiling. "That sounds perfect."

"Although" he spoke softly "it doesn't mean I'm gonna stop trying to win you over. ...even if it takes me more than a year ..I'm willing to fight" I said and my heart skipped a beat "I promise"

🫀liar

And with that, we put aside our concerns and spent a cozy night together, reading and talking and just enjoying each other's company.