chapter 14 - edited

[AN : This is gonna be a bit of a sad chapter

Warnings of Harsh words exchanged,Mentions and actions of self harm,depression and other things...its also a very important chapter]

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Play 'seasons' by wave to earth

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"Y/nieeeee" Jeongins voice called as I made my way towards the campus gates already exhausted by the day's events

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PossessedDolphinBoy-yang jeongin

PossessedDolphinBoyBestieee, can youWait for me afterYour classes today?

ChansbabygirlThat's oddYou never ask meTo

ChansbabygirlWhat's up?

PossessedDolphinBoyNothing nothingJust wait for me yeah?

PossessedDolphinBoy had disconnected

"Hey jeongjn, what's up" I asked as the now panting male bent down to catch some air....I wasn't that far from him...boy really needed to exercise

"Can we go somewhere else to talk?"He asked and I raised an eyebrow , what better place was there other than an empty campus exit with zero students and eavesdroppers but okay

We slowly made our way to the nearest part which was empty around that hour , I guess he had a lot of things to say since he seemed either lost in thought or avoiding his thoughts when he was walking next to me..I decided not to ask on it because he didn't seem to walk to talk during the walk

We made it to the part and stood somewhere around the farmid section where no-one who actually eavesdrop

I turned to look at him my paper notepads still held in hand as I waited for him to speak

He took a deepsigh and looked at me with a blank expression that didn't fit his next words

"Why are you whoring around y/n" he asked and my jaw dropped not knowing if he was in his joking mode but it didn't seem so

🧠🫀I swear you were all for me moments ago but the only part of you here is your ghost

"W...what do you mean" I asked my chuckle failing to hold any sign of humour or amusement

"What do I mean?" He scoffed slight pacing back and forth before yelling at me making me flinch slightly

"My hyungs are fucking trying to tear each other apart it was all actually fine before you came along y/n, I thought it was all jokes and plays when it started but now it's actually disgusting how you'd just do that, willingly even!"

"Isn't one just fucking enough that you have to hoe around with both of them , are you a fucking slut?!" He said again and I looked up at the sky to atleast hide the fact I wanted cry...the clouds felt the same...as I felt a few drops of rain land on my cheeks or were those my own tears

"Who knew you were actually like this?" He asked and I looked at him tears in my eyes as I failed to answer

🫀why....why am i always the one to blame when I'm not the one that made the first move?

"How is this my fault?" I asked and he looked at me with disbelief

"Don't act innocent "

"I'm not fucking acting yang jeongin, I'm actually genuinely confused,  how is any of this my fucking fault when I did nothing!" I was about to day something else when I felt a sharp slap on my cheek and I held it in shock tears streaming down my face as the clouds started pouring heavily

I was drenched from head to toe, my notepads wet and probably ruined and all I wanted to do was disappear

"You're a fucking whore...a slut...nothing but a fuckibg cumrag. You disgust me" jeongin panted out as he turned to leave "to believe I fell for you...I'm disgusted in myself for that, I hate you , I hope what you're doing to my hyungs ruins and lets yiu know that I'm not the only one that hates you rn" and with that he walked away

"Jeongin-"I called out but he just kept walking away...just like they all did

I fell to my knees crying,  all I did was cry, I felt numb...hurt and used ..how is this happening go me again , again and again

From highschool, freshman year to senior year,  why am I to suffer like this?

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"You're a whore y/n and that's cool do you love, but I can't see myself being in a relationship with someone who drools over anything " Jackson laughed to himself as the others around him joined in and I stood there humiliated

"I don't...why...why are you doing this to me..don't you love me?" I asked, having my 17 year old self crushed like that was painful to feel

"Love you?..you? ..don't make me laugh..not even your own parents wanted you, why would I?"

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"Junwoon?....why?" I asked my voice laced with hurt and he scoffed

"You don't give me what I want love" He said simply as if I didn't just catch him making out with my bestfriend nayeon

"How...could you do this to me" I said tears running down my face, I provably lokekd like shit but I was too sad to care

"I only dated you because I pitied you and you know that...you don't even love yourself, why would I?"

______. Play 'everything I wanted ' by Billie eilish

Mental stray kid asylum ●8 active

FluffmonsterDo we really have to

BinnieI'm with felix on this oneIsn't this a little bit too harsh?

PossessedDolphinBoyDid she whore around with You two as well?

Vegimite AussieJeongin-

PossessedDolphinBoyWhat? It's not likeThis shit hurts her anywayAll she did was break us all apartSure we've fixed shit out butShe needs to be gone

Vegimite AussieJeongins right

BinnieAre you fucking serious chan!

BinnieLike are you fuckingwith me right now Yiu can't just act like she's the one at fault

SeungieMajority vote says she's outI never liked her anyway

PossessedDolphinBoyWe were fine without her beforeWe are fine without her now

KittywhispererThen she's out

PossessedDolphinBoy has removed Chansbabygirl's nickname

Shreksno1hoe has been kicked out of the group

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Kittywhisperer has blocked you

Vegimite Aussie has unfriended you

PossessedDolphinBoy has blocked, unfriended and blacklisted you

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💭they don't deserve you.

🫀 I hate myself

💭 we all do

🫀 you too?

💭I warned you..you knew it was all gonna come down to this

🫀 I thought it was gonna be different

💭you ignored all the warnings signs

🫀I need to sleep

💭..do it

🫀...I got therapy for it.Should I?

💭..who cares? No one does..not your parents, your friends , no one

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Binnie-seo Changbin

BinnieY/n please pick up

BinnieY/n are you alright,I'm very worried

BinnieI asked your teachersAns they say youHaven't showed up to classIn a week

BinniePrincess please atleast talkTo me , please I need toKnow that you're alright Please

Shreksno1hoeIf they knew what theySaid would go straight to myHead , what would they sayInstead?

BinnieI know you're hurtingAnd what they're doingIs really messed upCan we meet ..please

Shreksno1hoeWhy am I to blameWhen I'm not the one thatStarted this game

BinnieY/n...

Shreksno1hoeDon't you hate me too?

BinnieI know what you're likeI know what's that's likeI know it's not your fault

🫀it's my fault...

BinnieThey don't deserve you.

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I turned my phone off throwing it somewhere on the floor as I tried to find some comfort in the full bathtub I submerged myself in, to atleast try and ignore the stinging and burning sensation on both my arms

I had a dream.... I want to reach it

My vision blury at each passing second as my breathing quickened as I painted the clear water red

I'm doing myself a favour..I'm doing all of them a favour

I'm a horrible person...the world deserves better

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I can't breathe...have I been breathing the past minutes that went by? I don't knowI can't move anything,it's all just...coldIt's warm and painful I...I want to sleep

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Binnie-seo Changbin

BinnieY/n you're scaring meSent an hour ago

BinnieI'm outside your apartmentOpen upSent 5 minutes ago

BinnieOpen upSent 5 minutes ago

BinnieI know you're inYour next door neighbour saysYou never left Please...Open upSent 4 minutes ago

BinnieOpen the doorOr I'm breaking the door downSent 3 minutes ago

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I stared at the now blurry ceiling my vision darkening by the second and before I could close my eyes , I heared a murmured yell....I think I was actually hoping someone cared