Chapter - Eighty Two (The end)

The moon is shining bright tonight. Mingyu was standing in his balcony looking at the moon. Suddenly he felt like he heard a faint noise from the swimmingpool. It felt like someone was bathing. Mingyu knows it's just his imagination, yet he looked at the pool. You were not there as usual. But in moonlit nights mingyu comes to the balcony to see the pretty moon, to imagine you were in the pool under the moon.

There was a gentle breeze hitting his body. Mingyu sighed a little. He was holding the letter. He still didn't open the envelope.

The whole day he thought about the letter that caught his attention in the first look at the flower bouquet. He pretended he didn't see it. Almost everyday mingyu sees you in work, but today he couldn't stop thinking about you. It made him ataraxic whole day. In the afternoon he had to go see tzuyu in a restaurant because she wanted a lot to go out with him today.

He couldn't concentrate in whatever he was listening to, whatever he was doing. He tried his best to spend a happy moment with tzuyu, not to make her upset. But he couldn't do it properly.

Taking a sip from the wine glass, mingyu sat down on the chair in balcony. There was a small orange lamp. Mingyu put out the letter from envelope and kept looking at your handwriting. It felt hurt so bad when he kept looking at the page for some minutes but couldn't read it. You wrote it in a different language other than Korean or English. It's from your country.

Mingyu couldn't find any meaning of any of the alphabet and felt so frustrated thinking that this letter is almost like you, that he couldn't read even though everything is expressed beautifully. Just how mingyu couldn't understand you! It felt so bad thinking that you didn't want him to read what you said in the letter.

Mingyu again tried to read it but it didn't help a bit. He turned a page around and exhaled a breath of relief that the other pages are written in a mixture of Korean and English.

'I thought a lot about giving you a nickname, a very precious name. Like you gave me one. But it couldn't be that precious like your name. So I stopped thinking about that. 'Mingyu' is a very precious word to me. Nothing can replace this beautiful name. So I used to call you out with your name. It made me feel you are mine, you are mine whenever I called you. Silly! Still now I want to call you out with your name, but I can not.

So Mingyu, I wrote a thousands letters when I was with you, when you were mine. I thought I'll show them to you when we will get old together. When I used to live in the apartment for some days, when I felt lonely, I opened the letters sometimes. Those are too emotional for me look at. Every dreams I had of you, was written there. So weird yet I could remember all those dreams like it was real. Good thing is, the time you were with me, was beautiful than the dreams I had.

I know it's silly, very silly!

Before the day of my marriage, I burnt them all. I thought it would make me cry. But weirdly I did not. With the fire of burnt letters, I lightened my cigarette to smoke, to look at the burning papers blankly. I tried to burn all my emotions and memories of you and I through it.

But you know it's just something to make our mind think that it's ok. Our emotions are not something that can be burnt with some fire.

Right after the letters turnt into I cried my lung out for sometime. For a moment I regretted thinking why did I not listen to you that day, when you said you would take me to somewhere where no one would recognise us. But you know what, wonu called me, the person I didn't do anything for him. I didn't want to pick up the call. But when I did, he talked to me.

Mingyu, I thought wonu doesn't talk. But he knows how to talk. I was amazed when I realized I didn't want to end the call. It made me so calm. Just like you!

But something more surprising was that after knowing i was crying, he came to my apartment to see me. And when he saw I was crying in front of some ashes sitting on the floor he didn't ask me any further questions. He calmly sat beside me. I felt so bad for him suddenly, like he was going to be my husband the next day and I was crying for you.

But wonu didn't get even a bit offended. Rather he comforted me, like he is my family.

Now I'm writing to you after so long. What do you think? Wonu's love made my mind not think about you? It's not like that. To be honest, I tried to forget you a lot. But it didn't work. I could see you through wonu somehow though I didn't want to.

In our heart we can't replace one person with another. I couldn't replace anyone with you.

Mingyu, I Don't know how it looks to wonu, but I miss you so much.

Everyday, every moment.

Mingyu! I really don't know the meaning of life. I always thought I knew when I was with you. I thought life is to just staying happy, with the person we love.

But it broke me afterwards. Life is not a movie that it will have a happy ending. Like my familiar nightmare, you chose somebody else. I was hurt about the issue, very hurt.

But it never made me sad thinking it was you. I always blamed the fact. I never blamed you.

Do you miss me mingyu? I Don't know. Sometimes I think you maybe too missing me. But then I laugh a lot alone knowing you have someone to take care of. Your time is going well with her. Why to miss me when your mind is filled with the thought of other person.

Still I want to think like this that in your heart you didn't replace me with someone else too. Even she is more precious to you, I want to believe that I maybe am not replaced.

I could never understand you mingyu! Like you are so chill, extroverted and so on. But I could never actually know how you think about me. You took so much care of me still i think that I'm loved even now.

I remember you so much, mingyu. It makes me cry sometimes. I remember our silly little talks, every restaurants we went, every place of this foreign country I stepped on with you, the times when I could held your hands, I miss them a lot.

But it's not like I want to do those now. I miss them, that's it.

With wonu, everything feels so calm. When he roamed through the house with his bare feet, I feel so good looking at him. Sometimes I want to clean his glasses so carefully, but I'm shy.

Mingyu, am I getting too random? The things I write in front page, is something very arranged in my language. Something that I want you do not read.

I wonder how all the members are going. I miss the dorm days so much. Those are some best days of my life. Through wonu, I want to remember all of you. You know I wanted to quit this idol life and be totally separated from outer world. But wonu helps me recovering my passion. That day he told me that why am I not spending some day in the dorm with seventeen. I like the idea so much but I'm a little bit shy.

Mingyu! What do you think? I hate you? Or something like that? I don't even hate hoshi.

When it rains, I close my eyes and suddenly feel you are over there watching me from a far. But when I open my eyes, you are not there. It's okay any other day, but I can't spend the rainy days. It makes me remember you more. I want to smoke more thinking about you, but I thought about quitting smoking. A request from a very precious person of mine, how can I just not keep it?

You are someone very precious to me. From when I first saw you, your smile made me feel like you knew me for years. Back then I never knew you would come this close to my heart. I enjoyed, enjoyed so much of my life when you were with me.. not like you changed me from an introvert to extrovert. But you represented the world as a beautiful thing to live on. I lived. And still I do with love, because you taught me so.

I'm not sad about anything, Mingyu. I'm genuinely happy and satisfied with everything.

I never imagined how I would live without you even if we get separated one day. I thought our memories gonna hurt me forever. But I was wrong. Sweet memories may hurt most of the times. But the memories I have of you, are filled with love. That it doesn't hurt.

I don't have that courage to thank you. But I'm grateful. You made my life filled with rainbows and butterflies. I've spent the best times with you. I may not tell my grandchildren that I'm with my first love, at least I'll able to tell them that I could be 'someone' to you, who you cared so much. It makes me so happy that I was treated like a princess.

I thought life doesn't get happy ending. But look I'm wrong again, I've got the love back I always wished for from my dandelions. I'm showered with love, I can feel. Just looking at wonu's face, seeing whatever he does, I can spend my whole damn life. I don't even need  puffing cigarettes while looking at him. My hand shakes a little whenever I want to touch his face when he is sleeping. But then in between sleep, he takes my hand in his embrace murmuring something. He is usually somewhat cold, but actually warmer than he looks like. I think I'm very lucky to have him as my life partner.

Like my beautiful life, I hope your life would be more beautiful. From my mind I genuinely want that you don't miss me, like I do. I hope you are very happy with your love life, with seventeen your family and obviously the puppies. I see you overwork most of the times. Please take it easy and have some rest. I can't see you in pain though you pretend you are very okay.

My favourite day of a year is April six, your birthday. I am so grateful to God that my favorite person was born this day. Mingyu, I really want you to be so cheerful and happy.

My dear Mingyu,

"my eyes can't see you, you are in my eyes."

                  ____________________

Mingyu folded off the letter and look at the moon while sipping wine.

He smiled exhaling a small breath.

_________________________________________

'Coffee!'

You passed the coffee to wonwoo in the balcony. He was looking at the moon while sitting on the floor of it, leaning on the wall behind.

'Thank you!'

You sat beside him with your coffee. This balcony is a very large. But wonu didn't put any chair here. He likes it like this.

'You are looking so tired. Are you feeling well?'

You asked getting closer to him.

'Yeah I'm okay.'

He said spreading his arm over your body to held your arm.

'Your body is so cold. Are you cold?'

He asked.

'It is kind of windy. But I'm okay.'

You were cold actually but didn't tell him. Wonwoo took out his jacket and spread it around your body.

'You will get a cold with your clothes.'

Wonwoo said looking at your bare legs. Yeah you look so cute with the small clothes. But you thought if wonwoo didn't like it.

'Are my clothes too small wonu?'

You said spreading your frok over your thighs.

'Yes I like that. Why?'

'Should I increase the length?'

'No why? Why are you asking?'

'For nothing. I thought you Don't like it.'

'I like everything you wear.'

Wonwoo said rubbing your arm. You leaned your head on his arm and put your hand on his stomach.

'Why acting like kitties suddenly? Are you sleepy?'

He asked.

'A bit. But the moon is so beautiful. I want to watch it with you.'

You said.

'Yeah it's pretty.'

He said looking at your face.

'Let's go sleep? We will watch the moon again tomorrow.'

Wonwoo said finishing the coffee.

'B-but you are warm. I don't want to remove you.'

You said snuggling.

'Ah- so then let me take you?'

Wonwoo lifted you up suddenly making you flinch.

'W-wonu I'm gonna fall.'

'It's okay. Hold me tight.'

You held him tight as he said making him tingled.

'Aish Don't hold there y/n.'

'I'm sorry.'

'You get heavy y/nah!'

'Huh! Really?'

You got worried somehow.

'Why are you worried? You look prettier with..'

Wonwoo stopped mid sentence for putting you down on the bed.

'With what?'

Wonwoo didn't want to say it so he just chuckled.

'What happened wonu?'

You asked.

Wonwoo slid himself through the blanket and laid down.

'How much I get fat?'

You were worried for the agency. Since Balancing your weight is a first in kpop, you can't just ignore it. It always makes your worried after gaining a little weight.

'What were you trying to say wonu?'

'You will get angry y/n.'

'I won't.'

You said angrily.

'You are already.'

'I'm not.. tell me what it is!'

'... I meant you look prettier with like bigger boobs when you gain a little weight.'

'What??'

You got up from the bed hearing that from him. Did he actually say that?

'Did you just say my b-boobs?'

'I didn't say wrong. You look nice with-'

'Shut up!'

You laid down again getting angry.

Wonwoo got closer to you saying

'Why? You don't like it if I say so? It's pretty. I'm praising.'

'But I do yoga everyday.'

'Then I don't know why your boobs get bigger.'

Wonwoo said yawning.

'Stop!'

Wonwoo slid his hand on your stomach.

'Okay. If you say so.'

You looked at wonwoo. He was smiling looking at you. You were actually got shy when He said those. But now seeing his smile you couldn't stay angry.

'Come here.'

He said dragging you closer to him. You hugged him tight putting your face in his chest.

'I said that tingle y/n.'

'Your boobies get bigger too. I like them.'

You said before falling asleep.

Wonwoo was singing something humming. You could hear it before falling asleep.

You never thought you would be able to sleep well at night. Your life style got changed a lot. You wake up early, and do yoga, you lessened skipping your meals like before. In living room there's a giant piano, sometimes you sit there making some melodies. You didn't think you could start playing violin again without being sad. You can find the inner peace in playing violin like the beginning.

Sometimes you see Ms dahee working, how she cooks. You want to make something too, but you tried once and you got to know cooking is not for everybody.

You go work and spend a good time along with seventeen, sometimes when they go for eating something out, you join them too like before. You get tired sometimes working, but it doesn't come to your mind to leave seventeen.

By this time wonwoo took you to the dorm once for making you feel like before. It was fun but not the same. Everything of the dorm is filled with mingyu and your memory. You Don't want to recall them. The memories should be here, in every bricks of this dorm.

But it felt really well knowing your room is replaced by any other else. The change in dorm is not huge. Everybody are the same, even mingyu. He made you tea every morning you stayed here. You got embarrassed at this. But whenever it's something that mingyu is doing there's nothing to be embarrassed. He does everything so beautifully.

Wonwoo seems a very busy person though he literally does the same work as you. But he sometimes takes you for sight seeing, nice restaurants, book cafe and many other places. He still thinks his move may make you uncomfortable, so he takes care about that. Now you get comfy with him that most of time when he is around you try to go to him for snuggling.

One day surprisingly mingyu came here with his puppies. He took them out for a walk and then came here. He didn't stay here for long. The whole time he was gossiping with wonwoo like they Don't meet everyday.

You saw them from a far knowing your favourite two persons are doing well. Your heart felt with a wholesome joy.

Whenever you see dandelions wonwoo has to wait for you. He looks at you adorably seeing you blowing the petals away. But you don't wish anything. The thing you wanted, you got.

You come back running to wonwoo, for holding his hand. Wonwoo holds it intermingling his fingers with yours.

You thought love must hurts. But you were wrong.

If it's love, it doesn't hurt at all. It maybe also doesn't give you excitement like teenage love, but it soothes the heart.

When you look at wonwoo, he looks back at you and gives you a little smile. And a wind hit his face making his pretty forehead exposed. You keep looking at him thinking you can see this scene forever. You smile him back and starts walking.

Everything looks so pretty today!

Vote and commentWords count: 3045.

'Wow! Can't believe I've finally finish it. It took me a long time. I'm very very sorry to my regular readers who had to wait a lot. I was about to end this story halfway but you guys were here so I could actually finish it. It made me feel very encouraged whenever I got notifications. Thank you so much! I'm always grateful.

Huh! About the story, I hope you like it. I couldn't make it spicy because I think- I mean love is not about sexual thing. But I don't know if i could make it like elegant. Hehe, I'm so thankful to everyone who may read.

I want to look at it when I'll get older. Hoping not to get cringed by that time aaargh! I know I'm gonna get cringed but whatever!

All my love belongs to.. who? Can you guess?'