62

irl

matt stands completely still, his hearing minimizing to a ringing in his ears. he can't hear the music, he can't hear anyone talking, nothing.

all he can hear is the sound of his own breathing turning into himself hyperventilating. he shuts his eyes tightly and lets the tears fall down his face.

the whole world feels like it's spinning around him, he can barely stand. just as he feels like he's about to collapse, he hears chris' voice calling him from the front door.

he can't move, but his senses return as he feels chris' hand on his back.

"matt, what happened? are you okay?" chris rubs his back.

in that moment, matt falls to the ground and tucks his knees to his chest, crying into them.

chris is quick to sit down next to him and try to calm him down.

"dude, what's going on? where's kaia?" chris asks quietly.

"i can't- breathe-" matt clutches his chest.

"i'll go get kaia, where is she?" chris starts to stand up but matt stops him.

he takes a minute to refocus his breathing before speaking again.

"she left." he manages through the tears.

"where? did she go home early?" chris questions, totally lost.

"i need- to go home." he stutters, attempting to stand up.

"matt, talk to me." chris looks at him.

"why are you crying?" he asks.

"i need to go home." he says again.

chris doesn't understand what's going on, but he does understand how matt gets when he's having a panic attack.

chris wraps his arms around matt in a big hug and matt hugs him back, feeling weak in the knees the second he holds on to chris.

"did she go home?" he asks, still hugging matt.

matt nods, the tears start to soak chris' shirt.

"okay, i'm gonna text nick to get nate and chloe, we'll call an uber." he explains, letting go of the hug.

matt sits on the curb, chris next to him as he tells nick to get everyone outside and to call an uber.

once nick gets everyone, they walk outside to see matt and chris sitting on the curb. chloe is slightly too drunk to understand, but she isn't wasted.

they all take a seat next to matt and chris while they wait for the uber.

"you good, matt?" nick asks him.

he shakes his head no, not able to get words out. the tears had slowed down, but his breathing really didn't.

"where's kaia?" nate whispers to nick.

"no idea." nick shrugs, whispering back.

nick and nate both look at eachother, then at matt and connect the dots.

"holy shit." nick covers his mouth, having an idea as to why kaia was nowhere to be found.

the uber parked down the road and everyone got in, matt still shaking and completely non-verbal.

the car ride is obviously completely silent, and once they arrive to the triplet's house, nick pays the driver and they all get out.

he leaves the driveway and matt takes a minute to breathe in the outside air, forgetting what it was like in the 10 minute car ride that felt like hours.

chris takes chloe inside to get her to bed, she's too drunk to be any help in a situation like this.

matt eventually manages to get inside, nick and nate close the door behind him.

"matt, can you talk to us? tell us what happened?" nate asks, but matt doesn't answer, he just continues walking upstairs, entering his room and closing the door behind him.

he turned to his bed and immediately saw kaia's shirt on his floor, and the tears came rushing back again.

he crawls into bed and under the covers, isolating himself in his room to cry. he doesn't want to explain it tonight.

the second kaia steps foot in her car, she starts sobbing all over again. she watches matt in the front yard as she drives away, the deja vu from last time hitting her like a truck.

she wasn't drunk, atleast not enough to impair her driving. she cries in car the whole way home, she parks in her driveway and gets out, locking the door and falling onto the grass in tears.

anne heard her car and opened the door, expecting to see her and matt coming over for a sleepover after the party.

instead, she sees her daughter sobbing in the grass and she quickly runs to the girl, holding her and soothing her by rubbing her hair.

"baby, what's wrong? oh, sweetie, what happened?" her mom holds kaia, hating nothing more than to see her daughter in this condition.

she continues sobbing in her mom's arms, trying to force herself to stop crying so she can speak. once she's through the choked cries, she closes her eyes and tries to gain enough composure to speak.

"i broke up with matt." she cries, covering her mouth.

"honey, why? here, come inside and tell me." her mother helps the girl up to her feet and manages to get her inside.

she walks with kaia upstairs and into her mom's room, kaia used to love sleeping in her mom's bed when she was upset as a child.

kaia wipes her tears as she crawls under her mom's blankets, her mom joined right next to her, holding her daughter tightly.

"are you able to tell me?" she asks soothingly.

"i'm an awful person. i couldn't keep ruining his life, mom." she cries into her mom's side.

"baby, everytime i have seen you two together, you give me hope that i will find a good man after my divorce with your father. matt loves you so much and i see bright as day how much you love him, what happened?" she plays with the hairs around kaia's face.

"i don't want to ruin his life. we saw james and everything came flooding back to me, i treated him so terribly. i can't be with him, he deserves someone better." kaia cries quietly.

"you two are perfect for eachother, though. why would you leave him if you are both so madly in love with eachother? you are so far from a bad person, sweetie." anne comforts her.

"he is perfect, not me. i love him so much, mom. but he deserves better than me." she shakes her head.

"you can't just leave the second it gets hard, he would've talked with you about anything in the world until it got resolved. why throw away a good thing?" she frowns, empathizing with her daughter.

"i can't let my fantasies become even more delusional. it was too good to be true, it freaked me out. didn't you feel the same way about dad in the beginning?" kaia wipes her eyes dry.

she thinks for a moment before answering, that in itself being enough of an answer.

"no, i don't think i did." she shakes her head, silent tears filling her eyes as well.

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