21

raelyn"are you done crying?" i looked at maddy with a tired look. "i've been in your room comforting you for three hours"

"no" her voice cracked.

i let out a sigh and wrapped my arms around her.

she broke up with her ugly ass boyfriend sergio.

well... he isn't that ugly but he's a toxic little bitch. i'm happy that they finally broke up. i kept on telling her to leave his ass after the first time i heard her say 'can i listen to music?'.

like?????

why do you have to ask your significant other to listen to music? why do you have to ask your significant other to go out somewhere?

why do you let a male with extreme daddy issues control you???

i swear madelyn is so stupid.

he literally forced her to unfollow all the guys she was following and isolates her from a social life. her dumbass still stayed with him even after he said that his trust issues made him feel like he can't trust her.

bitch ignored so many red flags cause she "loves" him!

good thing is that they broke up and now she can do whatever the hell she wants and be a bad bitch.

"i miss him" madelyn sniffled.

"no you don't" i shook my head. "no you fucking don't"

she just looked at me and started crying again. i grabbed her head and shook her lightly.

"get your shit together maddy!" i told her while leaning my forehead against hers. "you should be embarrassed that you're crying over a guy"

"but i miss him" she whimpered and pouted.

"no you don't" i rolled my eyes. "jeez, i'm gonna leave you if you say that one more time"

maddy closed her eyes and took a deep breath in.

"i'm fine now" she wiped her eyes. "i just felt like being dramatic"

"i- fuck you" i scoffed and left her room.

i entered mine and laid in bed for a couple of minutes until i saw zeus and bubba both come into my room.

"hi babies" i got up and laid down on the floor with them.

zeus rolled on his back and nudged me with his nose.

i began petting him and looked up when i saw maddy come in and lay on the floor with us.

"what do you want" i asked her.

"nothing" madelyn told me. "i'm just bored.

"you were crying for three hours though..." i sat up and made a face.

bubba sat up too and tried sitting in my lap. she's a little too big to try and curl up like that, but she still fits somehow.

"i was just being dramatic" maddy let out a small chuckle. "wheres your girlfriend. i haven't seen her at all"

"she's not my girlfriend!" i groaned and smacked her arm. "what don't you understand about that?"

"i'm messing with you oh my god" she punched my knee. "ow!"

bubba ended up biting her hand.

"yeah!" i laughed while petting bubba. "good girl, bite her again if she does that"

madelyn put her hand near me and bubba leaned down to try to bite her again.

"don't you dare dog!" maddy raised her hand up.

"this is why she doesn't like you" i smacked her hand.

"tell your girlfriend to come over" she teased me.

"she's not my girlfriend!" i threw my head back and groaned. "why do you want her to come anyway?"

"cause she's funny" maddy sat up and shrugged. "i like her for you"

"yeah me too" i giggled. "i just... i don't know if i'll date her though"

"why not?" she made a face. "you guys are perfect for each other. both kinda stupid, both like to sleep all the damn time, you both have fucking matching rings and chains, don't tell me you're not gonna date"

"i don't know" i sighed. "i really like her, but i'm just scared you know"

"well don't be a pussy" maddy shrugged. "you fucking pussy"

"bro?" i made a face.

"you heard me" she got up and looked down at me. "you're a pussy, date her it's really not that complicated"

i just shrugged in response.

"you guys are like... made for each other" maddy told me. "just date the fucking girl!"

"fuck you" i flipped her off.

madelyn flipped me off too and left my room. the dogs ended up leaving also, so now i'm alone again. i got in bed and laid there for a few.

i do wanna be something more with billie.

i wanna date her. i wanna be with her. i wanna hold her all the time and do corny couple things with her, but i don't know.

i never really did feelings and relationships but i'm willing to risk it all for her.

i'm willing to be vulnerable with her.

i still don't know.

am i in love with her?

i would be stupid of me to feel like i'm not.

there's just something about billie. there's a lot of things about her that i do love... i really wouldn't say i'm in love though.

maybe i am in love?

oh god

i just know i wanna be more than 'just friends'.

while i was scrolling on my phone, i saw that billie sent me a text. i went to her contact and opened it.

idiot <3: r u thinking about mei can feel it

me: why would i be thinking of you 🙄

idiot <3: cuz ur in love with me duhhhalso i think i stepped into the wrong uberwhy are there cameras

me: why are you in an uber don't you have a car???

idiot <3: it's under maintenance but why would uber have camera

me: bitch idk where are you going

idiot <3: to ur house lolit smells weird in here tho

me: billie...

idiot <3: i think i'm in a porn car

me: i have no clue what to say now wtf 😭

idiot <3: idek i'll be at yours in a few see you soonnnn

me: ugh go away

billie sent me a middle finger like always.

i went to the living room and wait for her because i didn't wanna wait in my room and then have to walk to open the door for her.

idk i'm just lazy

after a couple of minutes of sitting on the couch with bubba and zeus, i heard the doorbell ring.

both of the dogs started barking and ran towards the door.

i opened it and smiled when i saw billie.

"i swear i was in a porn taxi" billie said while walking inside. "you know those videos where a girl gets in a taxi and then they just start fucking?"

"well that's one way to greet me" i chuckled. "and yeah i know what you mean"

"i even saw that it said fake taxi" she told me while pulling me down onto the couch with her. "i'm pretty sure i was in a fake taxi porn thing"

"oh wow" i made a face. "i bet you must've been real happy then"

"yeah i was" billie smirked while moving her hips to adjust herself. "eyes up here raelyn"

i made eye contact with her and smiled sheepishly.

"so what are you doing here?" i giggled while leaning my head on her shoulder.

"i missed you" she smiled at me.

"ew" i fake gagged.

billie put her arm around me and pulled me closer to her. "shut up" she giggled while tilting my chin up. "you like it when i tell you that"

"who told you i do?" i laughed and stuck my tongue out.

"it's sooo obvious mckay" billie chuckled.

"shut up pirate" i playfully smacked her chest. "i don't like you"

"mhm" she nodded her head. "you love me"

"whatever" i snorted while resting my head on her shoulder.

we stayed quiet for a bit just enjoying each other's company. it was pretty quiet in here aside from maddys loud ass music blasting in her room and through the house.

"is she okay?" billie asked me. "she's been playing heartbreak anniversary nonstop since i got here"

"nope" i sighed. "she finally broke up with her boyfriend"

"damn..." she raised her brows up. "good for her i guess"

"yeah" i let out a small chuckle.

there was another moment of silence between us two. i was on my phone though and billie was too. we started showing each other funny things we see on our timeline and other stuff.

i noticed her leg was bouncing up and down like crazy.

"ay bruh" billie placed her hand on my thigh and looked at me seriously. "no suicidal shit, but i kinda wanna fall in love"

"you wanna fall in love?" i raised a brow up. "with who?"

"i don't know" she shrugged. "i wanna fall in love though"

"well you gotta find someone who's willing too" i also shrugged.

"i think i have someone in mind" she shook her finger. "i don't know if they wanna"

"who is it?" i asked her.

"damn i really don't know" she scoffed and rolled her eyes. "do you know who it is?"

"no" i giggled. "i legit have no cl-"

"for fucks sake raelyn" billie cut me off and groaned. "be my girlfriend!"

"what?" i blinked at her rapidly.

"be my girlfriend!" she repeated herself. "be mine! my girlfriend! do you wanna be my girlfriend?"

i stared at her a felt a smile creep up on my lips.

"is that a yes or no mckay?" she made a face. "i need words"

"do i wanna be your girlfriend?" i tapped my chin. "hmm let me think"

"oh god, i hate you" she let out a chuckle while pulling me onto her lap. "do you wanna be my girlfriend raelyn?"

"ask me nicely" i smiled while playing my hands in her shoulders.

she was gonna argue with me but i sent her a look.

billie sighed and cleared her throat. "raelyn mckay" she started. "for the love of god be my fucking girlfriend!"

"that wasn't nice" i giggled and wrapped my arms around her neck. "i guess i'll be your girlfriend"

"you guess?" she gasped. "yes or no raelyn!"

"yes you idiot" i laughed while leaning my forehead against hers. "i'm yours!"

"okay thank you!" she smiled widely. "you're mine now stupid"

"we're girlfriends now" i kissed her nose. "that's crazy"

"we basically did couple shit without the label" billie chuckled at me. "but now we're dating... that is so weird to say"

"we're dating" i copied her and nodded. "yeah it is weird"

we both laughed and looked at each other for a moment.

"promise me one thing though" i leaned away from her face and held my pinky up.

"what's up mckay?" she licked her lips and looked at me.

"we're not telling a single soul" i told her while locking our pinkies together.

"because the world tends to ruin beautiful things" billie whispered and smiled at me.

"yeah" i grinned. "let this be our little secret"

"our little secret" billie smiled and pecked my lips. "no one will know but us"

only us