Oh, Ginny

With a frustrated sigh, Florence - carefully - dropped her new bag in the corner and kicked her shoes off, tossing them under the coat rack. It was Tuesday night, a little over a week after her birthday and she had just gotten home from work.

It had been an incredibly busy day and though she loved her job, she was getting fed up with how much work her team manager was giving to her. It was far more than what her colleagues got and she got the same pay, if not less, for double the work.

Ginny would've told her to say something, to open her mouth and speak up for herself. But Florence was so tired. She was exhausted, not just from work, and she just wanted to grab a drink, lay down and read a book.

It had been almost three weeks since the breakup and she needed Ginny more than ever. Her skin ached for Ginny's touch and her mind was a whirlwind of thoughts, all leading back to one beautiful ginger-haired woman.

It was rough, to say the least. Florence was stressed out and she needed a break. From work, from her social life, from everything. She just needed a break, a getaway. She made a note to go to the travel agency in Diagon Alley during the weekend to book a trip before pouring herself a drink.

Alcohol helped, however bad the coping mechanism may be. It blurred her thoughts and freed her mind from the dark, depressive spiral that she was battling constantly. The hurt she felt from the breakup ran all the way to her core and it made her sick to her stomach to remember their last conversation.

She never wanted to feel this way again.

So Florence, who loved love, had made a decision. No more love. No more relationships. Mindless hookups are fine but never the same person more than three times. She just couldn't bear the heartbreak anymore.

She grabbed her favourite novel from the shelf and sat down on the couch, letting out another deep sigh. She sipped her drink as she flipped through the book, her eyes scanning every word but barely taking a single one in.

She had just finished the third chapter when there was a knock on the door. She frowned a little and put her glass and book on the coffee table, jumping up on her feet and hurrying over to the door.

She hadn't invited anyone and Padma never came by unannounced. And indeed it wasn't Padma who had come over. Or Tracy. Or Angelina. Or any of her other friends.

"Ginny?"

Ginny was paler than usual and she had dark circles under her eyes. She was fidgeting with her fingers, something Florence knew she did when she was nervous. But the usual wall that Ginny built up in moments of vulnerability was down and Florence could already see the tears burning in her eyes.

Yet, she remained the most beautiful person that Florence had ever seen.

"Florence, hi," Ginny said, her voice trembling. Florence's heart started beating faster and she chewed on the inside of her cheek. "I erm- May I come in? Please?" She nodded and stepped aside, letting Ginny inside her flat. 

Ginny shifted uncomfortably and turned around to Florence again, who was still fairly shocked that Ginny was at her flat. "Can we talk?" Ginny asked. Florence nodded again. It felt as if she had swallowed her voice.

Florence gestured to the couch and they sat down, a couple of inches between them to maintain some distance. All she wanted to do was to shoot forward and close the distance. To kiss Ginny like there was no tomorrow and to make up for the lost time.

But she sat deadly still, her hands folded in her lap.

"I'm sorry," Ginny blurted out. Florence opened her mouth to say something but again, nothing came out. "I'm sorry that I made you feel like you were being used again. That I promised I wouldn't be like those girls before me and broke that promise and hurt you. I'm sorry that I kept saying soon but never actually followed up on that."

"It's okay," Florence croaked out. Ginny shook her head.

"It's not okay, you don't have to say it is. I hurt you, made you feel like you were being used again, I pulled you back into the closet with me and forced you to stay there. I tried so hard to convince them that I'm straight that I flirted with my ex in front of you, I'm so sorry. That was horrible," Ginny said firmly.

"It was... It wasn't very pleasant, no," Florence whispered. "But I'm sorry too-"

"No, don't be. I'm sorry. I mean, what I said about your family that was... Merlin's beard, I don't know why I said that even. That was the worst thing I've ever said," Ginny said, genuine hurt and frustration present in her voice.

"You shouldn't have said that, no," Florence whispered again.

"I shouldn't have forced you to hide your sexuality again, to hide what we had build up. I can't force you back into the closet, to make you get lost in there again. It's shit and I'm sorry. You deserve far and far better than that," Ginny continued. Florence swallowed hard.

"It wasn't all bad, Ginny, not at all. Those things sucked and they were fucking hard but the rest... I'm sorry," she sighed, trying her hardest not to get choked up. "I'm sorry for getting upset with you and losing patience. I just think that I deserve better than going to bed every night, afraid I might have to apparate away in the middle of the night if one of your brothers decides to be funny and show up... or during lunch when your parents decide to come by... or whenever."

Ginny nodded, a small smile on her lips. "You do deserve better than that. So much better, Flo." Florence looked down at her hands. She was wearing the ring that Ginny had gotten her for her birthday. "I was going to give you that at the beach. It's a promise ring." Florence looked up at her. Ginny's eyes lingered on her fingers.

"And you weren't wrong to lose your patience. If I were in your shoes, I would've snapped way sooner. Not that you got super angry or anything, nothing I didn't deserve to hear," Ginny said the last part rather quickly. Florence let out a soft huff, but not in an annoyed or frustrated way.

"Why erm... Why are you here? To tell me what I deserve?" she asked softly. Ginny cleared her throat and started fumbling with her fingers again.

"Well, yes. But also because... because I still love you Florence," she said, finally meeting Florence's gaze again. Florence got lost in her bright brown eyes as easily as a few weeks ago when everything was still good between them.

"I still love you and I'm sorry if it's unfair of me to just come here and tell you that but I do," Ginny continued. "I love you and I will never stop, that's one thing I'm sure off. The one thing I'm sure of is you. You... You, Florence, are my one constant, my one certainty."

"I just... I just can't be your secret again, Ginny. It's too much. You can't ask that of me again. I want you but I want all of you, that includes your family if they'll have us," Florence said, a few tears slipping down her cheeks. Ginny wiped them away. Her skin burned underneath Ginny's touch and a feeling of ease fell over her. The power this woman had over her was insane.

"I'm not going to ask that of you. I never should have asked that of you," Ginny said, letting her hand trail down Florence's shoulder, arm and then stopping at her hand. Florence, without thinking, intertwined their fingers. 

"I knew I had a lot to do. Not just tell my family, but regarding accepting myself. I had some stuff to figure out but I kept pushing it away and away and away and it cost me too much. It cost me you and I realised it's not worth it. My own insecurities, my own fears, aren't worth losing you over,"

"I want to start shouting it off the rooftops, Flo. Our relationship, our story, I want to share it with the world, with everyone. I want you to come running to me on the field after a win and kiss me the way you do, my favourite way,"

"I don't want to be afraid anymore," Ginny said firmly.

"I don't want to be afraid of what people may think of me for sharing love. I don't want to be scared of what my family will think of me for loving a woman. I don't want to be anxious to hold your hand in public or to kiss you in front of others. I'm done living in fear. It's been far too long and I'm done,"

"I just... I guess I hadn't accepted myself yet. For being a lesbian, I mean. Part of me still assumed I wasn't allowed to be a lesbian, that I'm supposed to be 'normal'. But what's not normal about a person who wants to love another person? Why is there one standard to live by? There isn't. At least, I don't want to live by it,"

"I'm a lesbian and I'm proud. I accept that part of myself now. I accept all the parts of me now. That's why I kept putting it off too because you're right... There's a really big chance my family won't even bat an eye when I tell them,"

"But I didn't accept myself so how could I expect them to accept me? But I accept myself now. I do. I promise, Flo. These past three weeks I've been doing so much thinking and I've been working on myself a lot and- I just promise," Ginny said. Florence nodded, truly believing her.

It wasn't too hard for her to spot when Ginny was lying and Ginny was telling the truth. The full truth. Which meant she still hadn't told her family yet. Florence wanted to hug her and tell her how proud she was but she couldn't. She didn't want to give Ginny a false idea because she had promised herself (and Padma) that until Ginny could assure she was not going to be a secret again, she wasn't going back to Ginny at all.

"I believe you," Florence said. So much for no more love. "And erm... yeah. I'm glad you took that time for yourself and that you've come to accept yourself. No one should live with a hatred for themselves." She let out a deep breath. "But I can't go back to us if it's going to be the same."

Ginny nodded, understanding. There wasn't a sign of hurt or disappointment on her face at all. She had the most understanding look on her face and even a smile on her lips. Florence shifted a little and chewed on the inside of her cheek again.

"I know, Flo. And I don't want it to be the same again. We were together for over a year and I feel like I held us back. I wanted you to move in but I knew that wasn't possible because I hadn't come out yet. I wanted to, you know, continue to 'elevate' our relationship but I couldn't because... you know," she said.

Florence's heart skipped a beat. All she wanted for the last three months of their relationship was to move in officially. She was practically living at Ginny's flat anyway but as Ginny had said, she couldn't move in permanently because any of the Weasleys could come over any minute and this way Florence could escape to her own flat.

"So... I've asked everyone - yes, my whole family - to come over to the Burrow for dinner tomorrow night. I told them I had to tell them something and mum offered to make dinner for everyone," Ginny said, fumbling with her fingers again.

"It terrifies me still, but you were right. You were always right. It's not worth it. It's not worth it to not be myself around them. It's not worth it to not be honest with the people I hold closest to my heart." Florence could tell it scared her but that Gryffindor bravery was shining through again. Ginny was shining through again.

"I know they will accept me. But if they won't... that's on them, not me. I don't want to be associated with lesbophobes anyway," she sighed and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. Florence rubbed her thumb on Ginny's other hand in a reassuring manner.

"So what I wanted to ask was..: will you come with me? Can I introduce you as my girlfriend to them?"

The question lingered in the air for a few minutes. A billion thoughts were racing through Florence's mind. She weighed out all the options but it was already clear to her what she was going to answer. 

Ginny promised it wouldn't be the same, that she wouldn't make Florence hide part of herself away again. Ginny was going to come out to her family tomorrow and was asking her to come along to introduce her as her girlfriend this time. Ginny... Oh, Ginny.

"Oh, Ginny," Florence said, launching herself into Ginny's arms and hugged her tighter than ever. Ginny hugged her back, a little surprised at her reaction. Florence herself was a little surprised at her own reaction.

"Oh, I love you so much," Florence whispered, closing her eyes. Ginny pressed a soft kiss on her temple and clutched onto her tightly. Florence let out a shaky breath before breaking apart. "I love you. And I really want to move in with you, I've been wanting that for a good while now. And I'm really proud of you for finally taking on what you have been pushing away for so long."

Ginny smiled a little at her and rubbed her thumb on Florence's cheek. "So, of course, I will go with you tomorrow and of course you can introduce me to them again. As long as you introduce me as your girlfriend this time, not just your friend." Ginny let out a soft chuckle.

"Oh, I will. I love you, Flo," she said, letting out a relieved sigh. "I love you more than anything." Florence placed one hand on the back of Ginny's neck and grabbed Ginny's sweater with her other hand, pulling Ginny forward and crashing her lips onto Ginny's.

Ginny hungrily returned the kiss, her hands travelling down to Florence's waist. Florence's entire body finally felt at ease again. She finally felt safe and content again. The dark spiral in her mind stopped spiralling for a moment.

"I love you too," Florence said as their lips parted for a few seconds, their foreheads still pressed together. "Do you want to catch up now? Quite a few things have happened and-"

"Catch up on each other's touch now and then pillow talk about what has happened these past three weeks?" Ginny suggested. It was almost as if she had read Florence's mind. Florence's grinned, pressing her lips onto Ginny's once more.

She leaned into the kiss more and licked Ginny's bottom lip. Ginny parted her lips slightly, allowing Florence to explore Ginny's mouth with her tongue once more. It was so familiar, kissing Ginny, yet it felt as exciting as their first kiss had been.

Ginny pushed Florence back, flat on the couch and hovered over her, their lips still pressed together. They were both scared that if they stopped touching each other, they would wake up from this dream.

"I missed you," Florence breathed out as Ginny attached her lips to her neck. Ginny's long, pale fingers worked on the buttons of Florence's satin blouse while Florence tugged on Ginny's red jumper.

"I missed you more, baby," Ginny said, kissing her lips sweetly this time before pulling the jumper off and attaching her lips to Florence's skin again. Florence's lips formed into a smile and she ran a hand through Ginny's red hair.

Oh, Ginny.