Pillow Talk

The next few days passed by in a joyous blur. Ginny hadn't been that happy and enthusiastic in months and the women spent most of their time in bed, on the couch, on the kitchen floor or in the shower.

Even after Florence had returned from the grocery store with some fresh vegetables and fruits so they could stop eating the stale biscuits in the drawer, Ginny attacked her like a lion attacks its prey. The grocery bag fell to the floor and Florence got carried to the bed.

Merlin, she loved celebrating with Ginny.

Exhausted, Ginny let herself fall on her back next to an equally exhausted Florence. Florence turned on her side and nuzzled her face into the crook of Ginny's neck. There were drops of sweat dripping down her forehead. Ginny's skin was damp too.

Their room smelled like sex and sweat and faintly like vanilla - which made sense, they had lit a scented candle. Ginny wrapped one arm around her shoulders, still panting. Florence pressed a gentle kiss against the soft skin of her neck and draped one arm around her stomach.

"The groceries are still on the floor," Florence hummed.

"No, I charmed them to go to the right place right before I picked you up," Ginny assured her, rubbing her thumb in small circles on Florence's shoulder.

"You're truly magical," Florence said in a whisper, tilting her head so she could look at Ginny. Ginny smiled at her, stroking her cheek with two fingers and brushing the past her lips. Ginny's brown eyes stared into hers and she could see every little detail. They were brown at the first glance but if you looked closely, there were splashes of yellow and green in there too.

"I adore you, Flo," Ginny whispered, pressing her soft pink lips on Florence's forehead for a few seconds. She pulled Florence closer and tangled their legs together. Florence closed her eyes for a moment, enjoying just being with Ginny.

"Flo?" Florence hummed in response and opened her eyes again. She drew lines on Ginny's body, tracing from her jaw down to her hips and back up again, her fingertips moving over every shape on the way. "Did you... Did you talk to my parents at the game a few days ago?"

Florence shot up, pushing herself up on her elbow. She raised her eyebrow and pressed her lips together for a moment. Ginny had an anxious look in her eyes that was shielded by an angry one. Florence knew she was scared but she felt a little hurt too.

"No, Ginny. I didn't talk to your parents at the game. I talked to Hermione because I was seated next to her and I talked to Angelina because she came up to me. I didn't tell them about how I make sweet love to you almost every day, don't fucking worry," she blurted out. Ginny's cheeks flushed red.

"I just don't want you to slip up by accident or something," she continued. "I'm not ready and I know it bothers you but-"

"But what?" Florence said, sitting up and covering up her naked body with the blanket. "Are you seriously accusing me of outing you to your family?"

"Not accusing you, I just don't want you to slip up by accident," Ginny repeated.

"Because it bothers me that you're hiding our relationship and me from them?" Florence asked, squinting her eyes. "The fact that you would even suspect me of outing you is... well, I can't believe it, really. Bloody rude."

"I don't care if it's bloody rude it's something that slipped through my mind and I had to make sure," Ginny said, sitting up too. "I know you want me to tell my family so-"

"So what, Ginny? So I take away your chance to do it yourself!?" Florence wrapped the blanket tightly around her, a frown appearing on her face. Florence knew what it was like to lose control over telling people you're sexuality and she wouldn't want that for anyone, especially not Ginny.

"No, Flo, I just mean that-" Ginny didn't get a chance to finish because Florence stood up, picking her panties off the floor, putting them on and hurrying out of the room, still holding onto the blanket. "Florence! You can't walk away from me. We need to talk about this." Ginny followed her out, a bathrobe wrapped around her.

"About what? About your accusation of me outing you to your family? Go fuck yourself," Florence huffed, shaking her head. She dropped the blanket on the couch and walked into the kitchen, turning on the kettle to make some tea.

"I was just saying!" Ginny said, still trying to defend her words as stubborn as she was. Florence inhaled deeply before turning around to Ginny.

"You were saying that I, the girl who was outed to the entire school because of a fucking howler at the age of fifteen, would out you, a girl who isn't ready to come out yet, to her fucking family," she said, hoping it would sink in how much those words had actually hurt her.

"Flo-"

"If anyone knows how fucking shit it is to lose control over coming out it's me! My brother caught me snog a girl and immediately went to tell my shit parents about it without even hearing me out. He told them and they-" Florence groaned.

"They send me a fucking howler at breakfast in the Great Hall while I was surrounded by the whole fucking school. Two howlers! About what a disgrace I am for liking women, about what a disappointment I am for liking women, about how I'm never welcome again because I like women, about how they disowned me and had written me off the Peakes heritage,"

"I couldn't even tell them myself, Ginny. My stupid git of a brother told them! And they disowned me and threw me out onto the street. I know how fucking hard it is not to condone to heteronormative standards. The standards everyone has for you when you're fucking born. I know what it's like to suffer those consequences,"

"The fact that you would even consider that I would ever out you to your family is just... I don't even know the right bloody word for it!" Florence said, trying hard to hold back tears. "It fucking hurts that you would think that."

Ginny shot her an apologetic look and her eyes glistened with tears. Florence wanted to reach out and wipe them away but she had her own to deal with first.

"I wasn't ready yet but I was forced to deal with it. I would never force you to do the same. I would never tell someone you're dating a woman unless you're ready for them to know. That's not my job to do neither is it my right," she continued, still fuming. Her heart was beating in her throat and her knees felt weak.

"But you know what? I'm happy that I'm out. I'm happy that I'm not dealing with homophobes anymore because they have fucked out of my life. I'm happy that I can talk to my friends about women when they are talking to me about their love interests. I'm happy that I can be truly me," she sighed.

"It's fucking freeing, you know? Being out of the closet? It's cramped up in there. It prevented me from growing, from figuring out who I truly am. It made me have to put on a mask to the point where I lost sight of where the mask ended and I started. It made me a person I did not want to be nor do I ever want to be again,"

"And I get it, I do. Coming out is terrifying. You never know who is on your side. But I am on your side. As is Ange, Alicia, Luna, Padma, Parvati, Neville and so many more people. I won't ever force you to come out but... I will say that since being out, I've been much happier because I stopped being ashamed, I stopped being afraid of being seeing the real me," she added.

"I just want you to stop being afraid to, to be genuinely free. And... and you do realise that by hiding our relationship you're pulling part of me back into the closet too, right? It's a shit feeling. We've been together for over a year. Are you ashamed of me or something?"

"What!? No! No! I'm not ashamed of you, I love you but-" Ginny interrupted her right away.

"But you're not ready. I know. It's fine," she sighed, turning around again and pouring two cups of tea. "I'm going to get dressed and visit Padma I think." Ginny placed her hand on Florence's arm. Florence tensed up for a second at the touch. Tears were still rolling down her cheek.

"I don't want to hurt you or lock you back up," Ginny whispered. "I'm just so scared... I'm so scared, Flo." Her voice was trembling and just as many tears were streaming down her face. Florence put the teapot down and turned around to Ginny.

Ginny wasn't always the easiest to read or the first one to share her every thought. She had built up a shield and though Florence was able to peak through it plenty of times, sometimes Ginny got so defensive that even Florence couldn't find a way to break through it.

But now she was vulnerable. She was telling Florence how frightened she was in the best way she possibly could.

"I just can't lose them. They're my family, my everything. My brothers... I can't live without them," Ginny said in a whisper. Florence reached out to her and hugged her tightly.

"I know," she whispered. "It's fucking hard to lose your family, I know. But you don't have to."

"The risk is just so big and every time I think I can and will do it I just... I'm sorry," Ginny sobbed. Florence held her tightly, entangling her fingers in Ginny's red locks.

"I'm sorry too. I don't want to push you, I just want to openly love you and that includes telling your family," Florence explained.

"You're not pushing me. If I were in your position I would have left me months ago," Ginny said, pulling back from the embrace.

"I don't want to leave you, Ginny," Florence said firmly, her voice shaking. Losing Ginny had become the worst thing she could ever imagine happen. "Ever. I don't ever want to leave you. I love you. I'm just... I've done my hiding and... I know how freeing it is and I want you to experience that same freedom and that same happiness,"

"And... I know that if they do disown you it will hurt for a while. A good while. And I know that that is scary and a big risk and all that, I know. But eventually, it won't hurt as much, eventually, it won't linger above your head for every second of the day. Eventually, you will find a new family, one you can choose yourself that will love you no matter what,"

"But don't forget that there is a big chance that they will love you just the same too. I've never heard any of your family members be homophobic and I know you will say that it may be different when it's their daughter or sister but I don't know, you don't know either, we won't know until we know,"

"Whatever happens though... I'm right here with you," Florence assured her. "And I don't ever want to leave you, Ginny. I mean that. I love you."

"I don't ever want to leave you either," Ginny said, hands shaking. "But..."

"But you aren't ready."

"I'm sorry," Ginny apologized.

"Stop apologizing for not being ready," Florence said.

"Then I'm sorry for hiding you."

Florence pressed her lips together. "I know. It's okay," she said with a soft sigh. In the pits of her stomach, she could feel that she had just told a lie. She did know, she just wasn't sure if it was okay anymore.

"Are you really going to Padma?" Ginny asked, her voice still fragile as if one gentle touch could shatter it right then and there.

"No. I only said I was because I wanted to escape your accusations. Which is immature and leads to more conflict than necessary," she sighed, already beating herself up for her own behaviour. Escaping and so avoiding conflict had been a thing she did since she was younger but she knew it would only make things worse and was trying hard to change that behaviour.

"Oh," Ginny hummed, nodding. "I get that. I'm sorry I said those things."

"It's okay. It hurt, but it's okay. I know why. You're just defensive on the topic because it scares you so much." Ginny nodded. "But that's not an excuse to accuse me of such a thing." Ginny nodded again. "I'm glad we talked it out." Ginny nodded once more and pulled Florence into a tight hug.

"Me too," she sighed, pressed a kiss on the top of her head. Florence kissed her softly before taking the cups of tea and walking over to the couch. Ginny sat down next to her and Florence leaned against the back of the couch, her feet in Ginny's lap.

"Can I just ask why you think they won't accept you? Your parents, your entire family, are a few of the most loving people I have ever met. They're close friends with Professor Lupin and Sirius Black, they're bisexual and gay. And didn't Harry date than one lad once?" Florence asked carefully. The tea had already cooled down a little but the cup still felt hot between her hands.

Ginny chewed on her bottom lip nervously. She did it often. During bad weeks in which she was extra nervous, her bottom lip was usually all chapped, sore and bruised. She slid one finger over the edge of the mug and sighed.

"I just... I don't know. I have a feeling it will be different. I can't really explain it. I know they are acquainted with Sirius and Remus. And they never said a word about Harry dating a bloke... Maybe that's why? Because they sort of ignored it? Not really ignored just never addressed it..." Ginny stumbled over her words.

"And you know, when I was younger, it wasn't uncommon for homophobic jokes to be made. You know those jokes that have been so internalized that a lot of people don't see or understand why they're wrong? They didn't seem to have bad intentions but yeah... Fred and George went through that whole phase of calling things that were stupid or daft 'gay' as an insult without realising how harmful it really was. They don't anymore, but it lingers,"

"It's a lot better now. I mean with Hermione in the family, everyone has become a feminist. I got acquainted with intersectional feminism too because of Hermione in my second year at Hogwarts. I know for sure she won't treat me different,"

"Percy is my worst worry perhaps. He has some... old fashioned ideas. Always budging me about 'finding a man' and starting a family. Maybe the others think that too, you know? My mum especially. She can't wait to get me in a wedding dress and see Dad walk me down the aisle to marry, and I quote her here, 'the prince of my dreams',"

"They all just assume I'm straight because of the heteronormative society we live in and it's terrifying to me to break that image that they have created in their minds... I'm just scared, Flo. And I know I'll have you and my friends but... my family is so important to me," Ginny sighed.

"I know, Gin. I know that," Florence said quickly. "But don't you think your brothers won't mind either? I mean, I'm certain Fred, George and Ron won't. They never said anything bad about me after the news spread. I'm pretty sure it was either Fred or George who hit Pansy when she spread that rumour that I liked her and had taken a peek under her skirt."

"It was Fred actually. He was pretty happy to do it too," Ginny said, a faint blush on her cheek. "But it may be different with me... I'm their little sister."

"You still will be," Florence said, giving her hand a squeeze. Ginny took a deep breath and looked at their hands. She shook her head, her red locks waving along with her movements. Florence saw something shift in her eyes.

"I don't know. I think they'll just be super upset because I've won again," Ginny said, looking at Florence. A small smirk appeared on her lips. Florence frowned and tilted her head slightly.

"Won again?" she asked curiously. She knew Ginny and her brothers were insanely competitive but she wasn't sure what Ginny meant.

"Yeah, because now I'm the one who stole the heart of the most gorgeous, smartest, bravest, kindest, funniest, most creative woman of all," Ginny smirked, moving her head closer to Florence's. Florence giggled, feeling the blood rush to her cheeks.

"You're so cheesy," she said, curling a strand of Ginny's hair around her finger. "I love it."

"Yeah you do, because I've stolen your heart. Thanks for proving my point," she said, a mischievous grin on her lips. Florence laughed, her head falling back as she did it. "Don't worry, love," Ginny continued. Florence looked at her, raising her eyebrows. "She's stolen mine too."

Florence's lips formed into a smile and she leaned in, closing the gap between them once more. The tea turned cold but neither of them cared, they were too preoccupied with each other to worry about it.

Sweet Merlin, she loved this woman.