Chapter Fifty

The slowly throbbing pain in Zayn Malik’s back was uncomfortable, yet tolerable for the boy. He had dealt with injuries before that were as hurtful as this, but he had to admit this particular strain was painful to him. It felt like a strain, and even though Zayn had tried his hardest to see if there was a bruise on his lower back; looking like a dog chasing it’s tail in his bedroom, he had no idea of the two, brash and blue marks that were on the base of his spine. The purple monstrosity covered most of his lower back, camouflaging the two dimples that sat above his boxer waistband, and would cause alarm if anyone else had seen it.

Zayn Malik’s eyes covered a room and discovered most things others wouldn’t. He would catch the tiny marks on the floor made by various shoes or furniture. He quite liked to look at laminate flooring to find odd, invisible scratches that were indented into it. The boy could capture things in his mind that others simply couldn’t find the effort to view, but even he couldn’t see all of the different bruises and marks that would litter his body each time he went to his Father’s house.

And of course, the poor boy’s mind wouldn’t let him understand why this wasn’t such a normal situation. It couldn’t process how harmful the situation was. In a parallel universe somewhere, where the boy wouldn’t have had to live with his condition, he may have had the strength to fight back. He could even search deep down to find the true braveness he held within to tell someone. He could have been removed from the situation, or even move himself from it, to a safe place with safe people. He could see the situation for what it truly was.

But this wasn’t a parallel universe. Zayn Malik was trapped within his own, olive coloured skin, a scrawny body and a pair of big brown eyes that would capture detail even if it shot past him at thrice his speed. It wasn’t that the boy had no strength to fight back or courage to speak about it. He just didn’t have the true realisation that the other people around him did. His condition truly was a beautiful curse.

Zayn was also unsure how Harry almost knew where his hurt spots were. Unknowingly to Zayn, the curly haired boy would be able to look at him and gather every bruise and back story without a word of it in the time that it took Zayn to spot the spot of ink that was permanently etched into one of Harry’s school shirts. The two boys didn’t know how well they could truly read the other. One boy was but a beautiful chapter to the other.

Zayn’s mind didn’t try to question why Harry had wanted to cuddle in such a position, but he found it comfortable and warm, something the quiet boy craved from the other. He sat within Harry’s legs, cuddled into him with his knees near to his chest, close enough to balance his drawing book on. Harry’s long legs seemed to cuddle around the shape of Zayn’s body, the two boys squished together in the corner of the art closet.

The position allowed Zayn to concentrate on his drawing of a mountain range that he had seen in one of the travel and tourism magazines from the common room. His brown eyes had been mesmerised by the mountains, his heart beating a little in a flutter as he imagined that he could stand where the photographer must have been stood, looking around what the location must have looked like. Each mountain seemed so large and strong, yet were caring enough to provide shelter for nature on their rough surface. Trees and wild flowers seemed to cuddle into the sides of the mountains, as the mountain stood strongly protecting them. The boy felt Harry’s hands stroke onto his hip, bringing the boy a little closer, pulling his own wild flower to his heart.

Zayn had rather liked the comfortable silence that the two boys had found themselves in. Perched in the corner of their closet, the window was propped open enough to let the warm air flow into the already humid room, and Zayn noticed that everytime he leaned his head back into the nape of Harry’s neck to take a moment and let his eyes look over the progress of his picture, that small drops of sweat would seem to slip from Harry’s skin and onto Zayn’s forehead. Not that the raven-haired boy would ever care or mind.

The sun seemed to cast a warm glow into the closet; catching anything that would reflect it’s light back to in it’s own direction. Zayn’s eyes had watched more than once that lunchtime when the sun would come from behind a cloud and throw it’s rays into the room, the metal ferrule of each paintbrush that was sticking out from an old water pot shining as it did so, as if to show the sun that it had received the light being shone onto it. Those moments had made Zayn smile before he had returned to his pencil and paper.

The feeling of Harry’s chin nuzzling into Zayn’s shoulder came once again, and the raven haired boy had to bite onto his bottom lip as Harry’s curls would tickle his ear, his whole body stopping from the drawing to appreciate the feeling of Harry’s body so close.

“Do you like mountains, fluff?” Harry’s deep whisper came.

Zayn smiled, his face following the direction of his eyes as he looked up at Harry, nodding slightly.

“One day, me and you, and Nana, Hayley and baby Alfie are going to all go and see the mountains…” Zayn whispered back, before blushing up as his boyfriend did his familiar smirk.

“Yeah, we will. We’ll see everything.” Harry whispered back, the dimple slowly popping from his cheeks, Zayn observing that they always did the same thing once Harry finished a sentence with a smile.

The raven haired boy felt how Harry’s hand shifted from his hip and slowly trailed up to his hair where he combed upwards towards the back of his head. Zayn’s smile never faltered due to such affectionate touches.

“I’d like that.” Zayn whispered, before he leaned forward to press a small, quick kiss to his boyfriend’s lips. The boy would erupt into giggles for doing such an action.

Zayn watched as Harry’s head shook a little, the curly haired boy’s torso softly grazing his back as the boy broke into a husky chuckle, his large hand still combing through the back of Zayn’s head.

“Are you stealing kisses from me, Fluff?” Harry chuckled, his green eyes looking straight into Zayn’s, which the brown eyes boy always loved.

At the thought of stealing, he blushed, but at the thought of stealing kisses, he blushed and let out a rather loud giggle. He found himself quickly losing interest in finishing his sketch as two green eyes filled his attention span. He shook his head a little quickly, subconsciously pushing himself back into the warmth of Harry to hide a little from his boyfriend’s teasing eyes. 

“Don’t even shake your head! You stole from me, Fluffball, and now you’re lying about it!” Harry chuckled, the brown-eyed boy feeling his fingertips trail from his hair and along to the boy’s jaw.

The pad of Harry’s thumb was softer than it looked to Zayn’s eyes and soon found itself to trace over the end of his jawbone, an inch away from his earlobe, a stretch to his lips. Zayn always noticed the pattern that Harry subconsciously stroked his jaw in the same place and pattern. A soft and slow circle, as if winding the side of Zayn’s face like a Jack in a Box, always ending in a smile popping from his own face.

Zayn watched as the curly boy pushed his face into his own, unannounced. He found that his brown eyes hadn’t even had the time to close as Harry’s lips slipped into place onto Zayn’s own, his thumb stopping the circles to hold the boy’s jaw softly in place, a habit Zayn noticed they always did, before the warmth had parted and left the boy missing the feeling of Harry’s lips on his. Harry’s lips were always a victim of the boy’s teeth, and Zayn quite liked to feel the small chaps and scrapes that the boy self inflicted without realising.

“You stole a kiss from me!” Zayn blurted out, his words carried from his mouth by a selection of giggles, as always.

“Hypocrite.” Harry chuckled, his thumb going back to it’s soothing pattern, a sign that there wasn’t another unexpected kiss to come. Not that Zayn didn’t like them, but the thought of the kisses that came from nowhere made his cheeks flush red.

“Both criminals.” Zayn giggled quietly, before he let his body twist around a little and nuzzle his face into the safety of Harry’s neck.

The boy loved the feeling of closing his eyes and letting his face rest against the soft skin of Harry’s neck. He always loved the feeling of the odd curls that would brush against the top of his forehead or even the side of his face everytime he snuggled into him. His nose would graze along the boy’s skin and it would rub off some of the cologne that the curly haired boy had put on earlier, and Zayn knew which smell belonged in which of the bottles on Harry’s desk by now.

His favourite feeling when he snuggled into his neck though was simply the way that Harry’s arms would always wrap around Zayn. The raven-haired boy had quickly picked up that it was a habit of Harry’s everytime he pressed his face to his neck. It was like a subconscious agreement. Zayn would snuggle into his boyfriend’s neck and in return would receive the feeling of two long arms wrapping around him.

“Both criminals.” Harry whispered, to confirm Zayn’s compromise.

The soft knock on the door seemed to bring both boys from their bubble and upright. Zayn felt how his boyfriend’s grip seemed to tense, one of Harry’s moving away from Zayn’s body, even though the other seemed to slowly trail around to Zayn’s back. He felt Harry stroke the bruises that unknowingly to the brown-eyed boy, could be seen through the thin white school shirt that hung from his scrawny shoulders.

Zayn’s face followed as his eyes looked up at Harry’s face, before he realised that his boyfriend had inched away slightly from himself, the room being too hot and humid for him to realise the immediate loss of warmth straight away. Zayn’s eyes seemed to flick over Harry’s face, gathering every inch of detail within him. His jaw was tensed and the small marks of where his dimples had been laid lightly on each side of Harry’s mouth. His green eyes couldn’t be torn away from the direction of the door, his eyelashes a little clumped together, echoing the way his brow furrowed above them. The stroking on his back slowly came to a stop, but the feeling of Harry’s light fingertips were still on Zayn’s back.

“Shit…” Harry simply whispered, Zayn watching as the word practically fell from his plump lips, and the boy tried to figure out if it had been aimed at him or not.

“Sorry.” Zayn whispered quietly, but yet Harry didn’t reply. His green eyes were staring relentlessly towards the direction of the door at the other end of the closet.

The sudden change of Harry’s body put Zayn at an unease. Even though he could still feel the comfort of his boyfriend’s fingertips, Harry hadn’t replied to his apology, and Zayn immediately began to draw in on himself as his mind began to try and figure out what was going on. His hands fumbled to bring his drawing book to him, which he pressed to his chest. His brown eyes didn’t tear away from how Harry had completely seemed to close himself from him. The brown eyed boy’s face started to drop, wanting desperately for Harry to give some sort of comfort or direction.

“Harry, it’s just me…Liam.” A deep voice came, before Zayn looked in the direction of where the door had been slowly opened enough for the boy to slip through.

Zayn noticed the same things on Liam Payne that he had noticed the previous days ago. The boy still had rather messy hair, it seemed to be set in untouched ruffles above his head. There were still two bags under his eyes, and Zayn wondered how these bags appeared on faces. He had seen the same on many other faces as well, including his own at times. Liam’s were a lot more prominent than others he had seen though. The corners of the boy’s eyes were still fairly red, something that Zayn didn’t really see a lot. He supposed the boy might have had poorly eyes.

“That’s still not that comforting.” Harry’s voice suddenly grumbled, which caused Zayn to look from Liam as he shuffled his way over to where Zayn and Harry were sat, and towards Harry.

The other boy gave a slight sigh and stood in front of the two for a moment. Zayn watched his two feet shuffle a little, the boy’s left ankle scuffing the floor of the closet as his dark brown eyes looked down at the two boys. Zayn kept hold of his drawing book as he tried to keep up with his mind, and how madly it was trying to figure this all out. Harry still seemed tense and on guard, which was what drove Zayn to feeling so worried the most.

“Look, what did I say about him? you can give me shit but if you’ve come in here to,” Harry started, and Zayn flinched as he watched his tall boyfriend spring up onto his feet and close in on Liam, his brown eyes watching as Harry squared right up to the other boy, who seemed to only just match his height.

Zayn could only give a squeak and pull his drawing book to his face, his knees to his chest, the pain in his lower back having to be forced away and ignored.

“Harry, please, I’m not trying to hurt or blackmail anyone, I just want to talk. To both of you, please…I just want you to hear me apologise, I don’t expect you to accept it.” Liam suddenly spoke, barely flinching as his old friend seemed to square up to him, ready to fight four corners of a ring to defend Zayn.

Zayn peeked out from behind his drawing book as Harry’s green eyes slowly looked over the boy he was inches away from. Zayn’s nails were making indents onto the surface of his book, his poor mind half expecting Harry to do something like start a fight again, which would make Harry’s body as poorly as his own. He had tissues in his bag in case the curly haired boy would need them, but he hoped that there wouldn’t be a need for them.

“Just a few minutes, I know a don’t deserve it, but you deserve to hear it.” Liam pleaded again, looking from Harry, before he looked down to Zayn.

Zayn hadn’t realised that he had pushed himself into the corner of the closet, his knees acting like a small wall to stop anything from getting to the book clutched at his heart. The sight of the boy had caused Liam to deflate a little, and he gestured for Harry to look down at Zayn also. Harry’s body was still tense as he slowly looked over at his precious boyfriend, but his shoulders dropped a little, Zayn catching how his fists slowly unclenched.

“Two minutes tops.” Harry grumbled, before he stepped back and towards Zayn.

The brown-eyed boy smiled a little as his boyfriend dropped to his side, where he offered a small smile and put out a comforting hand to hold. Zayn’s mind rested a little as the warmth of Harry’s body was pushed next to him, and the two made themselves comfortable as Liam slowly dropped opposite them, his brown eyes sticking to the floor instead of looking at Zayn and Harry.

“I just wanted to apologise for being an arsehole to both of you. A lot of stuff has happened these past few weeks, and it just brought something out in me that I didn’t know was there. I knew that I could be a moody prick, well, so did you…” Liam started, taking a short moment to glance up at Harry and try to offer a small smile, even though with Harry’s blank face looking back at him, Zayn watched as the smile soon faded.

He was unsure of what the boy meant and what he was talking about. Was he talking about the flower boy?

“I just…I have issues. I have stuff that I bottled and it backfired on me. I was mad at people for the wrong reasons. I was a prick, basically…a prick to both of you in particular. That’s why I want to apologise. I know that there’s not much that I could say to truly make it up to you both, I treated you both like shit, I wasn’t me…but, aslong as you both know that I’m sorry, and you both know why I was like that, then…I don’t know. I just feel like I can close a bad chapter properly now,” Liam’s words came to a slow and quiet stop, and Zayn watched as the boy lowered his gaze.

“I was just scared…it was petty of me. I’m sorry.” And with the last words, there was suddenly a silence within the small art closet.

Zayn looked over Liam’s slumped shoulders and fumbling hands, the boy not able to bring himself to look up. Zayn’s eyes draw over how the boy’s face looked more tired as he looked down then he did when he looked right at him. He hoped that maybe the boy would be able to get some rest soon. Sometimes when Zayn couldn’t sleep, he thought of nice things. His mind started to consider offering the small piece of advice to the boy in case that was the problem.

“I was a jack ass too.” Harry’s voice suddenly broke the silence.

Zayn looked up as Liam did, and it was fair to say that both boys were surprised when Harry was looking into Zayn’s eyes rather than the boy who had just apologised.

“Fluff, I’m an utter twat towards you,” Harry started, but the minute the harsh words against himself flooded Zayn’s ears, the boy’s head started to shake in disagreement.

He couldn’t have Harry talk about himself like this. Harry was his everything, and the sad way that his green eyes were looking at him drove Zayn into a panic, the boy quickly clinging to him in confusion as he tried to stop Harry from being so mean to himself. Harry taught him so much, and always cuddled when he wanted cuddles, and always made him blush too. Harry was everything, and he couldn’t hear him talk bad, it hurt his heart.

Zayn couldn’t protest. Harry’s thumb was stroking over Zayn’s bottom lip softly in an effort to keep the boy from disputing.

“Each lunchtime I lock us up in here, babe…I’m, I’m horrible, I hate that you cant realise how horrible I am. The only people that know about us are my Mum and Liam…we’ve been dating for months, fluff! No, we haven’t been dating, we’re together, and yet I’m too fucking chicken shit to even look at you in a corridor!” Harry burst out, and Zayn could only watch in worry as his mind tried to take in what the boy was talking about. He couldn’t even try to understand what he was talking about.

“See, look at your face, beautiful…” He sighed, his perfect face etched with sadness and shame.

“You don’t even understand, and that’s the worst thing. I took advantage of you and it was wrong. You’re too precious to take advantage of and I did it. I’ve been horrible to you. I can’t just sit here and not take in Liam’s words and reject his apology when I’ve been as bad but to you. In the hopes that you’ll accept my apology, I’m going to accept Liam’s…if I don’t, I’m just a hypocrite.” Harry spoke softly, before he leaned forward and softly kissed Zayn.

The brown-eyed boy didn’t understand what Harry was saying. The curly haired boy made him extremely happy, and in return he loved to see the lop-sided smiles that would slip onto Harry’s mouth when Zayn said something he particularly liked. He liked the art closet cuddles. He liked to be close to Harry when no one was around. The brown-eyed boy secretly loved to have Harry all to himself, his mind just didn’t understand that some parts of their relationship had played out for the wrong reasons.

The brown-eyed boy tried to do something that both he and Harry would understand. He simply leaned forward and kissed Harry, his cheeks blushing from doing such an act in front of Liam, but his heart told him too. Kisses always stopped Harry from talking like this.

“You’re mine and I’m yours.” He whispered, a little louder than he had intended, which had caused Harry to burst into a wobbly smile, his thumb slowly tracing along his jaw.

The curly haired boy simply nodded his head and cuddled into the boy, pulling him close, Harry’s turn to now hide his face within his boyfriend’s neck. Zayn simply giggled as Harry’s nose glazed a spot on his neck and tickled.

“I regret how I treated you, fluff, but I’d never regret you.” Harry whispered into Zayn’s neck, enough for only Zayn to hear, which the boy did. He simply cuddled into the boy and gave a little nod too.

“I don’t regret you either, Harry.” Zayn spoke a little loudly.

Zayn was unaware of how Liam Payne’s eyes were watering a little. The boy simply got up and threw his bag over his shoulder, turning his body around a little, spacing himself from the two cuddly boys in the corner.

“I just, I’ll go…thanks and stuff...” Liam spoke, his voice a little rough as he tried to sniff away the tears.

Zayn watched as Harry slightly removed himself and a new facial expression gradually took over his face, once that the boy was unsure of. He was looking up at Liam with his two green eyes looking what Zayn guessed was sorry. Why his boyfriend was still looking sorry the boy didn’t understand.

“Li, I’m sorry, I’ll keep the PDA down,” Harry started, but was cut off.

Zayn’s eyes watched as Liam Payne’s figure continued to shuffle awkwardly down the corridor, his body language still trying to decide whether it was a good idea to face the two or not.

“No, it’s fine, really. I’ve read enough books to realise that sometimes people don’t get who and what they want…but I’d rather see you with Zayn because he makes you happier then I could.” Liam spoke, before he really did turn around, and Zayn’s grip on Harry tightened a little as he saw tears start to gather in the corners of the boys red eyes.

“M-maybe I’ll find my own Zayn, but for now, this is my plot.” Liam spoke, giving a little nod to Harry before another silence was plunged into the warm art closet. The curly haired boy simply nodded a little back before looking at his hands.

The sun slowly went behind a cloud and the room became dark as the silence settled. Zayn’s brown eyes kept darting between the two boys, his mind trying to figure out once more what was going on. He thought back to all the times that the other boy had charged up to him, saying strange things about him and Harry, and the brown eyed boy decided that he would leave the past to the past. He hoped that they were all going to be friends now, or atleast have some peace between them all.

The sun came out from the cloud and the art closet was filled with warm sunshine once more.

“I just want you to know that I’d never, ever out you or anything…you’re secret is safe with me, I want you to trust that I’d never do something like that.” Liam told them with a nod, before he went to shuffle out again. Zayn’s ears heard Harry speak and he found himself looking back into his boyfriend’s face once more.

“Thanks but no thanks…we think it’s time. I think it’s about time, anyway.” Harry spoke softly, before a small smile spread on his face and Zayn’s eyes sparkled in delight at the sight of those dimples once more.

Liam gave a short nod before he left the room, and allowed Zayn to look to Harry, his lips letting the questions tumble out from his mouth quicker than his mind had realised.

“Time for what, Harry?”

Harry simply grinned at his boyfriend and explained the decision, and after both boys decided that it was what they wanted to do, and once the curly haired boy made sure that his boyfriend truly was okay about it and understood what was going on, he did tell.

Zayn had simply smiled when Harry had come out to his close friends with the boy next to him, their hands entwined. Zayn had also simply told Harry to shush up when the curly haired boy had proudly started telling everyone he passed in the school corridors, rooms and the common room, the boy having told everyone atleast twice.

[A/N: Firstly, dedicated to a lovely girl who has been poorly recently, and I hope this makes you feel better!:) 

Secondly, to give you all a head's up, Drawn Out Dreams will sadly be coming to an end soon. After plot after plot and plan after plan, we're now only looking at about three more chapters, including the epilogue. I hope you enjoy the end of this journey, I thank you all so much for being on it with me. Thanks for the endless support, cherubs. x]