Chapter Forty Nine

[ A/N: Surpriseeeeeeeeeee. ♥ Enjoy. ] 

Liam Payne had spent a whole week off school, and was still drained of is energy. Even though he had still managed to find time to do as much coursework as he could as well as eat and sleep, he still had other priorities that had had to come first. He knew life had a tendency to throw these types of moments out of nowhere, but it didn't even throw a sign or a glimpse. The whole of the family were drained, but back home atleast. To say it hadn't been rough was a lie, but for them all to be at home together was a real blessing.

He'd woken up on the following Monday morning feeling extremely sluggish. His hair wasn't working and neither were the bags under his eyes. He'd slept through his alarm yet made no attempt to rush, and his Mother didn't try to rush him either as she felt the same tiredness as he did. She still made him his breakfast and placed a kiss on his cheek as he grabbed his two slices of toast and left the house. His feet took him down the road to the bus where he got on one of the later ones, which had all the other late kids on it that were heading to school.

As he looked around the quiet bus he caught a glimpse of the more regular passengers of this bus was, compared to the packed and loud students that got on the earlier one. A few of the more rebellious students all sat at the back, loving the fact that they were late, looking rather pleased with themselves. Liam rolled his eyes at their behaviour before glancing at a couple of worried-looking lower years. Whether they were worried about being late or being stuck on a bus with a couple of the bad kids, Liam couldn't decide. He simply leaned his head against the window, the hot summer weather not really helping his tired mood much.

His feet carried him through the school yard again, the last few stragglers were rushing around trying to get to their form rooms, or simply lingering around to avoid going there. There were a few more significant places on this walk that stood out to him now in comparison to how they were simply just places before. He sighed, his sleepy head drooping to look down at his shoes as he shuffled towards the sixth form building.

He was looking forward to coming back, he'd missed a hell of a lot of work and was ready to catch up on it, and of course he'd missed Louis and Andy, and his other friends in his various classes. When he was away he realised just how easy it was to miss his school, whereas before hand he would have gladly walked away from it forever without a second thought. His school just had a lot more emotional attachments then he had realised before.

Liam heard the noise of the common room before the door was even open. He smiled a little, having missed the commotion, before he pushed open the doors and glanced to the seats where he, Louis and Andy always sat in the corner. He saw Louis first, laughing away with his hand holding onto the bridge of his nose, a habit he did when he found something particularly funny. Andy was next to him, chuckling away but still looking at his phone. Liam small smile faded when he saw the lanky, curly haired figure sat opposite them, mid-story, his large hands trying to articulate the story as he went. The figure saw him, glanced to Louis and Andy with a small smile before getting up, pulling his bag onto his shoulder in a swift movement.

Liam stood still, watching Harry Styles get up and walk towards him. The boy glanced at him and tried to offer a small smile before walking right around him. Liam Payne's body was so drained, he didn't have the effort to snap, or hit out, or hate. He simply shrugged a little at the boy before he shuffled towards his two friends, who suddenly caught onto his presence.

"And where the fuck have you been?! Text much?" Andy quickly snapped, yet Liam knew that it was out of love and worry they were both looking at him angrily. He sighed and shrugged his shoulders, dropping his bag next to him and getting comfy in the seat he was in.

"Sorry, there was a thing," He tried, before Louis cut in.

"A thing that lasted a week? A thing that cut all communication? We've been worried sick, Liam!" Louis burst out, his tone showing as much worry as his face was. Liam looked over his two friends and offered an apologetic smile, which turned into a long yawn. 

There was a slight silence as Louis and Andy looked over their friend, the way his two eyes showed how mentally exhausted he looked. They both immediately worried more, Andy taking in all of Liam's fatigued features, too scared to ask for the truth.

"Why do you look so sick?" Louis' voice broke the silence with a soft tone.

"I...we all had a rough week...Niall had a rough week." Liam spoke, before slowly swallowing as he thought back to the many low moments of the previous week. The constant beeping of the hospital machines still echoed around his mind, and the sound brought back the sights of the hospital room, the smell of the disinfectant. Louis and Andy looked over him with a sad curiousity.

"Tell us, Li...we want to help." Louis spoke again, leaning forward a little and taking one of Liam's hands, entwining them to show the boy that they were here for him. Liam looked over Louis and then Andy before nodding a little. He didn't want to keep anything from anyone anymore, and plus, his best friends had every right to know where he was and how Niall was.

"I pushed him too far...I hurt him...I hurt Niall." Liam mumbled, tightening his grip on Louis' hand as his mind brought him back to what had happened.

It had only been a week but it had all flashed by quickly. Monday had literally turned into Sunday night in a mash of moments, none easily forgotten by Liam's eyes. His mind kept throwing constant reminders of the rough days as well, which seemed to hurt more. Liam knew that the past week was one of the roughest weeks that the family had had, and they had all been affected. He just felt that the blame laid heavily on his shoulders.

It had all started on the previous Monday morning as they had all sat around the table. Liam had been simply eating his breakfast and glancing over everytime his Step-Father turned the page of the paper, his brown eyes reading along nonchalantly. His Mother had just been trying to get the family fed and ready for school and work, wrapped up in the normal morning routine.

 He hadn't thought much to the small bowl of cereal that had been in front of his younger brother, in fact, none of them had. The whole family hadn't yet picked up on the small, scattered meals that Niall Horan was purposely dodging and missing. They hadn't seen how clingy and needy he had become. The way he had started to close himself off to them hadn't raised an alarm bell either as they continued their normal day-to-day.

"I'm full, Moma, thank you..." Niall's quiet voice had broken the content silence, and caused his Mother to look up in confusion. Her eyes firstly glanced over the bowl, then her son.

"But baby, you've barely touched it...how can you be full?" She asked, before her eyes started to scan over her youngest son, her hand immediately flying to his forehead to check his temperature. Liam's eyes glanced sideward, looking over the small bowl and then his pale brother's face as a curious frown gathered on his brow.

"Ni, you barely ate anything yesterday..." Liam added, becoming as worried as his Mother was.

At the sound of his son not eating anything for a day yesterday and denying food this morning, Bobby Horan looked down the table at his son. Liam watched as his Step-Father's eye met with his Mother's before they both started to fire questions at Niall. They plagued him, trying to figure out when the last time he had eaten was.

That's when time seemed to slow down for Liam Payne. All his brown eyes could do was watch as his younger brother's own dull eyes slowly clouded over, his small hands trying to grip the base of the chair. His parents just continued to throw the questions at him, but the questions that were being flung in his direction were too fast for the boy to process. Liam had seen the signs before and immediately panicked.

His breathing quickened in panic as he thought over all the times he had lashed out on him this weekend. He'd hit him, scrapped with him, pushed him away, sworn at him, threatened his name on things, even completely blocked him from himself. Liam immediately felt sick when he realised what had been happening. Niall always did this, the boy's condition forced him that whenever something was his fault he'd stop eating. He just wouldn't, getting Niall to eat most days really wasn't a problem, the boy was known for his appetite, but sometimes his appetite caused him to break.

Liam had pushed the fourteen year old to his breaking point.

"Niall, I'm sorry, please eat." Liam begged loudly, his voice bursting through the questions his parents had been throwing around the room. His Mother quickly looked over Liam's guilty face, and as Liam glanced over to her he swear he saw her heart break.

"M'fine." Niall pushed out, his voice small and quiet.

The corners of the boy's mouth curved a little, a sickly smile trying to light up the boy's face, before his grip that his hands had had on the bottom of the chair slipped. Liam saw the boy swallow slowly before he looked up and lost balance. The older brother quickly jumped to his feet and grabbed his brother before he could hit the floor and looked down in urgency, as the fourteen-year out laid slumped in his arms from having practically passed out at the dinner table.

Liam's grip was like a vice on his brother, his big brown eyes bubbling over with urgent tears as the family tried to get Niall to wake up. His Step-Father quickly rang for an ambulance as his Mother tapped her son's cheeks to try and rouse him. They all knew that when Niall got bad he skipped food and meals, but it had never gone as bad as this. They'd never seen Niall avoid so many meals that he passed out. All Liam could do was hold onto his baby brother with a vice like grip, not even letting the paramedics lower him onto the stretcher of the ambulance.

"I'll ride with him," Liam had gone to say before his Mother had practically pulled him out. Her face looked up at him in a shamed anger a sthey stood outside of the ambulance doors.

"You won't go near him until you realise just what you've done, Liam Payne! You pushed him this far! You take everything out on him when he doesn't deserve it and you know it!" She snapped, her emotions of watching her son pass out due to the actions of her older son pushing her over the edge.

"Karen," Bobby started, taking her arm gently but his Mother was undeterred.

"Your Father didn't leave because of your younger brother, Liam, he didn't leave because of you, or me, or anyone. He just left, some people do, they just do! But don't you go blaming that on your younger brother, because he's one of the only people in this world that will stay by your side until the end!" She spat, before she looked over his face in disappointment, tears streaming down her face. 

Liam didn't realise his bottom lip was trembling as his Mother brought the truth to his face. Her words were hitting him as hard as she meant for them too, and even his hands were shaking as a sob started to bubble in his throat. She'd never spoken about the reasons why his Father had left. Ever since he did, she'd put a mental block to the occasion. Liam had barely been two years old when his Father had left the family.

He had never been told the reason, always had to live with questioning why he had gone, what he had done to make him go, why he didn't leave a number or an address or anything. Not a line to tell Liam that he would miss the young boy that he would cuddle up to in the old photographs. That's all the boy had now, two photographs to remind him of the man that left.

The man that broke his trust, the man who walked out on him, the man who left. Liam always thought it was his fault, his mind automatically pushing people away who tried to cause a change in his life. He couldn't help it; it was a change reaction.

He was just a fucked up kid longing for answers, and that was all that he ever thought he would be. But now he knew the reason for why his Dad left, and now, as he stood looking down at his emotion stricken Mother, he was the reason as to why his baby brother almost did.

He couldn't conjure anything but silence, guilt and tears.

"Sometimes bad people leave to let good people through. It's time you realise who is really there for you and who isn't." She spat one last time, before jumping in the back of the ambulance, followed by a solemn looking Bobby. Liam could only watch as his parents drove off with his younger brother.

The days and nights that followed all moulded into one. After a few hours of trashing his bedroom and crying into Niall's blankets Liam Payne got on his pushbike and rode to the hospital. He never stopped to look around once until he was sat in a chair by his brother's bedside, his small hand inside of his older brother's. He only left once, to take his Mother home so they could both shower and sleep in a proper bed, before they came back to look after Niall.

The boy soon came around. His eyes opened slowly and latched onto Liam, before the bravest little smile popped onto his face. Liam simply sent a wobbly smile back before he broke into sobs, clinging to Niall's side as he cried everything out. Of course, Niall didn't understand why his brother was crying, and so he simply shuffled up on the bed to let his big brother next to him. When Bobby and Karen walked in a few moments later, they found the two boys tucked into bed and cuddled under the Cars blanket fast asleep.

The sight of her oldest son with his arms protectively wrapped around her youngest seemed to put faith back into her heart.

Niall Horan was out of the hospital by Friday, and Liam still didn't leave his side when they were at home. Day and night, he kept his little brother wrapped up in his arms and in blankets, watching Disney film after Disney film to make the boy smile. He fed him like a baby bird at almost every meal, until Niall was finding the strength back to feed himself, even though Liam always smiled and joked that Niall was strong enough already and simply being lazy, which always produced a giggle.

Liam looked back up at Louis and Andy as a shaky breath left his mouth, and his hand left the safety of Louis' to cover his face as the tears started to spill from his eyes. Broken sobs left his body unashamedly as the boy sat with his two friends. He was tired and worn down, and worst of all, he hated himself.

"I c-could've killed him!" Liam raggedly cried out, before Louis and Andy jumped up to hug their friend, the attention of the common room becoming quiet as they started to look to the tragic corner.

"Liam, it wasn't your fault," Louis tried softly but Liam pushed them off and bolted to his feet.

"It was! It was all my fucking fault, it's no one else's, it could have been helped and it wasn't!" Liam snapped, before he rushed off without even taking his bag with him.

The boy didn't know where he was going, his emotions were getting the better of him and he was a walking grenade, he just simply followed his feet. They took him past the toilets, he refused to cry in the toilets again, and there was only one small spot that he could think of. A small, deserted spot that no one knew about. His hair was an uncared for mess above his head, and the hot air of the stuffy hallways stuck to the tearstained cheeks that he carried on his face as he walked down the corridor towards the old art cupboard. His hands pushed the door open with some force, but as we walked in and went to slam the door behind him he heard a loud squeak.

He could still make out the form of Zayn Malik, huddled in the corner with a drawing book on his lap, his hands clutched around his pencils in fright by the sudden intrusion.

There was a tense moment as Liam Payne stood with his back against the art cupboard door, his chest rising excessively to let ragged breaths into his lungs, the sound the only thing to be heard in the cupboard. Liam sniffed a little, and wiped his cheeks with the back of his hands, before looking over Malik.

"What do you want?" He spoke gruffly, even though by forcing words it only made another sob want to break from his chest.

His teary brown eyes watched as the boy continued to look up at him with the wondrous look that he had seen on his little brother's face every day. When he saw the small smile pop up onto the boy's face, his shoulders slip into a shrug, something inside of Liam flipped. Everytime he saw the Malik kid, he simply saw his little brother. He could hit and threaten Malik ten times a day, and yet the kid would still fucking smile as he walked in the room.

He hit and lashed out at Niall, which always earned him a smile from the boy who just didn't understand.

One of Liam's many volatile emotional switches was switched deep inside of his mind. In a rush of blurry eyes and shaky fists, Liam had the skinny boy pushed up and pinned against the wall, his hands digging into his collar as he latched onto the white school shirt that he was wearing. Malik's two big brown eyes looked over him in fright. Liam slowly looked down at the position he was now pinning the boy in and burst into tears again.

"I'm so sorry...Niall, I'm so sorry..." He cried.

He kept the boy pinned against the wall as the sobs wracked through his body, his emotions really running a muck in his mind today. He slowly picked his face up to look into the confused face of Zayn.

"Don't fucking look at me!" Liam burst out, and his fist was about to raise when the blurred tears cleared from his eyes, and he finally saw the big black bruise that was poking out from under the boy's shirt. He frowned a little in confusion before slowly putting him down, Zayn's big eyes watching him carefully.

"W-who...who did that?" Liam heard himself ask, in a low, breathless whisper. A sad word slipped from Malik's mouth, and made Liam look down at his feet in disgust once again.

"Dad."

"Well your Dad's an arsehole. Like me." Liam mumbled, before taking the weight off the boy and standing back, not being able touch the boy now.

"Says I deserve it." Zayn whispered, and Liam slowly looked up to look the boy in the eye, his head slowly shaking.

"You don't, Zayn. You really don't, he just...he doesn't understand you. I know it must be hard for you to understand him, and he finds it as hard. He just, doesn't have an excuse." Liam replied, before there was a small silence.

"My Dad...my Dad left." Liam heard himself speak, even though he couldn't bring his eyes to look at Zayn. When he looked at the bruised boy, he just saw the odd scratches or bumps he'd accidentally given his brother's pale skin.

"You don't deserve that." Zayn mumbled again, as his hands clung to the drawing book that Liam hadn't even noticed he'd clung onto. Liam shrugged a little.

"Thanks." He mumbled, even though he didn't believe a word of Zayn's statement.

Liam was about to shuffle away, the situation being too much and the overgrowing desire to walk away before he could hurt Zayn, but he heard the crinkle of paper stop him form going anywhere. He stopped and looked back to see the boy gently and carefully ripping a page from his book. He didn't have a chance to ask what he was doing before the boy gently folded the piece of paper into four, the most delicate fold that Liam had ever seen in his life.

Zayn reached out and nudged the paper against Liam's hand, and the older boy took it, looking over him warily before slowly opening it to reveal one of the most realistic and detailed drawings of a flower he'd ever seen. For a moment, he thought it must have been a print.

"For Niall...hope he's okay." Zayn whispered, before he smiled and scurried off, taking his bag and book with him as if knowing that Liam needed the little cupboard much more than he did.

Liam could only watch him go, but he could have sworn the small smile he saw on Zayn's face would be reflected when he handed Niall the small present later on.