ch. 68

"we can touch utopiawe can reach there, utopia."

- utopia

how long has it been since he last confessed to eunbi?

san lies on his bed, staring at the ceiling as he gets lost in his thoughts about the particular night in which he mustered the courage to tell the girl of his dreams about his feelings for her. her beauty never left her mind as it glimmered under the moonlight, her figure trapped between his arms. he would stare in those eyes that held the galaxy, the stars shining so bright for her.

although he promised her that he would wait until she responds to his confession, he can't help but feel anxious as each second passes by.

what is she thinking about at this very moment?

has she already decided on who she wants to be with?

when will he know?

he grabs a handful of his hair and yanks on it, the feeling of stress increasing by the second. creases on his forehead begin forming as his feet gently kicks under the blanket. he looks over to his roommate, who is sleeping peacefully with his small snores filling the room.

san has noticed that yunho has been acting differently after coming back to his meeting with eunbi. he doesn't know how to put it in words but...

he seems a bit sad.

it makes no sense to him, since yunho went to meet the love of his life. he came back with puffy eyes, as if he cried recently, and stayed in his bed for a couple days. no one knows why he was acting like that, and they didn't pressure him into telling them. there were times when he would softly cry in the middle of night, and he would flash the black-haired male a bittersweet smile whenever he saw him.

a sad yet happy smile.

he wonders why though, why give him a smile with mixed emotions?

did something happen between those two?

did she...

san loses his train of thought when his phone buzzes on his desk and a light emits from the screen, a notification popping up in the middle of the night. instinctively, he reaches over for it and takes a look at the message.

it's from eunbi.

after reading the text numerous times, he glances at yunho one more time before quietly getting out of bed. he rummages through his closet and pulls out pieces of clothes that will keep him warm since it's pretty chilly outside at the current hour. putting his outfit together, he puts his phone in one of the pockets of his sweatpants and then exits the room.

silently, he escapes the dormitory and makes his way to school without anyone noticing his disappearance. as he walks along the concrete, his thoughts run wild in his head while his lips itch to curve upward. everything that he has observed is pinpointing to one possible occurrence, and his pace quickens each second.

he knows that he shouldn't have his hopes this high, but he can't help it.

sooner or later, he arrives at the school with heavy breaths leaving his mouth. he bends over a bit and places his hands on his thighs, resting himself for a bit. looking up at the enormous building, he takes a moment to think about where the girl is located since she only told him to find her on campus.

he then takes his first step to search for eunbi, walking as quietly as possible through the hallway. his gentle steps resonate along the walls, and he suddenly stops in the middle when he figures out his destination. he realizes that he is going the wrong way, and he immediately sprints in the opposite direction.

the school garden.

that's where she is.

"eunbi!"

he shouts her name when he reaches there, immediately clutching onto the trunk of a tree to support him after using up all his energy. there he sees the beauty sitting on the bench, admiring the flowers that reside in the garden. hearing his voice causes her to turn her head to his direction, eyes making contact with one another.

her long, silky hair flows along the gentle breeze as that gorgeous smile curves on her lips. her hand is lifted from her lap and she ushers him to sit next to her, her hair up in a messy bun and her body covered with a hoodie and sweatpants.

oh, how he loves that simple look on her.

when he makes his way to the bench that holds so many of their memories that they share, the girl stands up to meet his level. they stand a couple of inches apart from each other, staring into the eyes of the other as the sun slowly rises. Its light showers them with colors of blue, pink, purple, and red, and it brightens the face of the female standing before san.

she is absolutely the most perfect being in this world.

they linger in silence for a while, admiring one another before eunbi speaks up with her lovely voice. she takes one step forward, bringing them closer together, and whispers in the most delicate tone.

"ask me the questions you told me that night."

once those words entered his ears, he cannot help but feel time stop at the very moment. his heart is hammering against his chest as his eyes try their best to swallow the tears welling up.

is this a dream? he thinks to himself, hands gripping onto his chest. this can't be happening.

well, there's only one way to find out.

and so, he musters the courage to ask the three questions he asked her on that beautiful night.

"the songs you sang at the dance and the public evaluation.. those were for me, right?"

she nods.

anticipation crawls on his skin, his teeth biting into his bottom lip for a bit before resuming his inquiry.

"did you... like me back then? not as a friend, but as a potential lover?"

she nods again.

his heartbeat is racing and his stomach twists and turns out of anxiety now that he has arrived at the most important question. he has been waiting for the final answer for a few days, and he can finally hear it in person. he hopes that his anticipations are right, and that the pain that he has been experiencing for a while now will be alleviated.

"what if i told you that... i can return those feelings?"

it comes out almost as a mumble, his voice wavering uncontrollably.

"..."

nothing leaves her mouth.

nothing but silence.

that is the only sound san hears from her.

he can feel his heart sink deeper into the depths of sorrow as each second passes, and the tears feel like they are going to break free soon. his head lowers his gaze to the floor to avoid breaking down in front of her. the familiar aching comes back to haunt his heart, and reality bestows karma upon him once again.

he should have known.

he should have known that this was going to happen.

he should have known that he should not keep his hopes high.

he should have known that he should not assume things beforehand.

he should have known that...

she...

"-can return your feelings?"

immediately, he lifts his head to meet eyes with eunbi once again. eyes are now widened, his ears barely catching the last few words of her response. "what did you say?"

she notices his surprised expression, and her hands are slowly lifted to cup his cheeks as she leans their foreheads toward each other. he can feel her soft breath brush against his lips while staring in her beautiful eyes, quickly taking every negative thought back.

all he can focus on is her.

eunbi clears her throat a bit, and she rolls her lips inward while mustering the courage to say the same words she had said a few seconds ago. she never thought she would ever be in this situation, but after realizing her feelings she needed to tell him as soon as possible.

and she does.

"and what if i told you that i can return your feelings, choi san?"

she can feel him freeze under her touch.

he cannot believe this.

this is surreal.

tears are now pouring down san's face and his hands mimics eunbi's, cupping her face gently. his sobs fill her ears and he pulls her a bit closer to him; she soon starts crying along with him.

"i'm sorry that i couldn't tell you earlier," she apologizes, choking on her tears. "i'm sorry that you have to wait for my answer."

to be honest, he does not care about how long he waited for this moment to come. he does not care about the anxiety and stress that he had experienced throughout his wait.

after all, it was worth it.

they do not let go of each other as they fill the quietness of the school garden with their weeping, the sun blessing this day with its beautiful warm color scheme in the sky. the buds of the flowers bloom and shine under the light from the sunrise as the leaves of the trees rustle against one another. the pair move their faces away for a bit and immediately glance at each other's lips before returning, locking their gazes.

as if they can read each other's thoughts, they inch closer to one another with eyes slowly closing shut.

"i love you," san whispers, only wanting no one but the girl who he has loved for so long to hear those particular words. "i love you. i love you. i love you."

"i love you too," she replies, a lovely grin curving on her mouth before her lips make contact with his.

a true love's kiss.

this is their new beginning.

this is their utopia.

the end.