ch. 67

"our song on the radio but it don't sound the same."

-when i was your man

"yunho?"

the said male lifts his head from his phone to see the girl of his dreams standing before her, covered in layers of clothing to protect her from the cold. the tip of her cute, little nose has blossomed in red as her mitten-covered hands warm her cheeks.

"eunbi."

he stands up from the swings and embraces her with all the love he can muster, rocking one another side-by-side. his head rests on top of hers as a pleasant hum vibrates from within his throat. "i missed you so much."

a small chuckle leaves her lips when she hears that cheesy line, the sound of her laughter being music to his ears. "i swear, you're like a dog waiting for its owner."

"i can't help it," he responds, holding her tighter as he inhales the scent of coffee and baked goods that lingered on the girl. "i just want you in my sight every now and then."

they eventually release the hug and make their way to the swing set, each of them taking a swing. they spend a little bit of time playing, swinging themselves up and down as the silence swallows them whole. the starry night sky shimmers above them while the darkness swamps their sight, a single light post being the only source of brightness.

"thank you for coming," she says, a small, sad smile curving on her lips. "i'm sorry that it was so sudden, i just wanted to tell you something and thought it would be best if i did it in person."

"i'll do anything for you," he reassures, slightly anticipating something to his liking. "you're the type of person to plan things out first, so what was so important for you to tell me now in person?"

this causes her to stop moving around, her feet immediately braking her swinging. he notices that the brunette can't help but not look at him, her eyes locked onto the wood chips that decorated the ground. a puff of air forms in the cold as a sigh leaves her lips, and her teeth softly bite into her bottom lips as if she is preventing herself from speaking.

"yunho."

oh, how his name rolls off perfectly from her mouth. he dreamingly stares at the girl, waiting for her to say something to him. a sweet smile curves on his lips while he observes her petite figure, adoring every little feature of her. his heart beats out of anticipation, wondering if it's the specific words that he has been longing to hear for a while now.

"yunho," she says once more. "i..."

for some reason, she can't find the words to tell the male sitting beside her, her mouth wide open with no sound coming out from it. her hands grip the metal chains tighter as her teeth clench together, a heavy breath leaving her nostrils.

yunho then notices her peculiar behavior and gets off his swing to kneel in front of her. he reaches out to her hands that were grabbing on the chains and peels them off, putting them onto her lap. he looks up to look at her eyes, seeing the sadness lingering in her gaze, and the smile that is on his face curves downward at the sight.

"eunbi?" he calls out to her, a worried expression now painting his face. "eunbi, what's wrong?"

suddenly, she bursts into tears, her sobs echoing throughout the empty park. the male immediately tries his best to wipe her face with his thumbs, whispering only sweet words to calm her down.

yet after everything he does, she continues to weep as if she is in pain. he doesn't know what to do, and so he wraps his arms around her to comfort her.

"yunho," she sobs. "yunho, i'm sorry."

yunho only pats her head, feeling confused due to the sudden apology. she has done nothing wrong, so why is she apologizing?

nonetheless, he continues to comfort her, reassuring her that everything is okay. "why are you sorry, bi-bi? you did nothing wrong."

hearing that only causes her to cry more.

"yu-yu, i don't want to hurt you."

hurt him? how so?

the light brunette loosens the hug a bit, allowing him to see eunbi's puffy face. squatting down a little, he locks gazes with her as his hands are placed on her shoulders. "eunbi, you know that i can handle anything you throw at me. what's bothering you?"

she knows something that he doesn't.

what is it that she is hiding from him?

"yunho," she sniffles, trying to stop herself from crying so she can manage to say the words that she has been struggling to say to the male in front of her. "yunho..."

she lifts her arm to wipe her tears on the sleeve of her jacket, sniffling once again. she collects herself together after breaking down, and she attempts to muster a stern expression; however, she fails to do so and simply looks at him with an expression of melancholy.

"yunho, i don't want to say this but..."

at this point, he can already see where this is going, and he prepares himself to listen to the words that she has been holding in.

"i can't return your feelings."

and she breaks into tears once more, feeling guilty for what she has done. she squats close to the floor and curls herself into a ball, her sobs being louder than before since she did the thing that she can never take back.

"i really thought that you were the one," she says through her weeping. "i'm sorry for everything."

she knows the pain of being rejected, and the fact that she was the one who inflicted the pain to the male in front of her makes her hate herself for it.

yunho, on the other hand, simply stays in his position for a while, the phrase repeating in his mind over and over.

"i can't return your feelings."

he had his hopes too high only for that hope to be crumbling down when those words fell out of her mouth. if he is to be honest, everything hurts after hearing her voice say the last thing that he wanted to hear. all his efforts have been wasted, but he can never blame the girl for it.

after all, one can't force someone to like them back.

despite all the pain he is feeling, he feels the need to stay strong just for eunbi. he doesn't want to make his friend more guilty for what she has done, seeing her sobbing her heart out for him already.

"eunbi," he says as he bends down to her level once more, his hand making its way to her face and lifting her chin so she can look at him again. "eunbi, it's okay. i understand, so please don't blame yourself for this. you don't need to apologize for your feelings."

and he smiles at her.

abruptly, eunbi embraces him and tightens her grip on him, and he returns the gesture. they stay in that position for a while, taking a few minutes to absorb the moment. yunho lays his head on her head like before, but it feels so empty to do so.

"we're still friends, right?" he speaks out loud, breaking the silence. he feels a nod from her, and the male gently sways her around. "that's all that matters."

after a while, it is time for them to separate. yunho escorts eunbi home, blasting music as he drives her back to the house that she shares with her family. some of their favorite songs would fill the awkward silence between, and not one would sing a long with a single tune. 

after all, they don't sound the same to them anymore.

when he brings her to the door, all her relatives notice her puffy face and question him about her current state.

and of course, he tells them the truth.

the air gets a bit tense  afterward, and so her brother apologizes for assuming something before everyone bids each other good night. the light brunette makes his way back to his car that awaits for him at the curb, and once he enters the driver's seat...

he can't help but let out a few tears as his hands clutch his chest in pain.

he was right.

he was right all along.

all those feelings she had for him...

were actually feelings for san.

no wonder she didn't kiss him that night.

no wonder she didn't want to spend the first snowfall with him.

no wonder everything felt too real to be true.

it hurts so much to know the truth.

his heart, his body, his soul...

everything hurts.

is this how eunbi felt when she found out that he thought that he "liked" siyeon?

he can't imagine how much pain he had caused her in the past.

a bitter chuckle leaves his lips before a soft sob makes its way out of his throat.

if only he realized his feelings sooner...

then maybe things would have turned out differently.

this is karma, isn't it?