i lovE you

Julie

I wake up in Flynn's bed. My whole body hurts.

I'm sore all over, like really sore: it's hard just getting out of bed.My best friend's not here, though, but I can hear dishes clinking and music coming from the kitchen.

Still in my pajamas, I drag myself up and go look for her.

I find her standing by the table, making toast and humming "One Last Time" by Ariana Grande.

I lean against the doorway, watching her (also giving myself a sec to fully wake up), and my stomach growls loud. I didn't eat anything last night when I got in, and I stayed up late thinking about the fact that the guys might be alive.Like, they might actually be ALIVE.I can't deal with It.

Flynn snaps me out of my thoughts when she looks up, and jumps a little when she sees me standing there.

-Jules! Don't just pop up like that, you scared the crap outta me. You hanging out with your ghosts too much or what?

-Haha,- I say with the most sarcastic laugh ever. -Speaking of my ghosts, I kinda need to tell you everything, huh?

-Uh, yeah. Over breakfast. And I want all the details. Don't skip anything.

If she doesn't want me to skip anything... that means I gotta show her the song and the letter. So I go grab them.

While I start telling her how Caleb took me with him as the club literally crumbled around us (super traumatic, by the way) she chokes on her apple juice and blurts out:

-Whoa, whoa, wait, he put his hands on you? Did he, like, try to kill you?!

-Yeah. As wild as that sounds. He definitely tried. He dragged me with him and made me think it was the last time I'd ever see the guys.

-But it wasn't, obviously, 'cause my girl is a badass and fought her way out!

I wish that's how it went down, honestly.

-Uhm... no, not exactly. I got out because of Luke, Flynn. He saved me.

She literally spits out a piece of toast. -WAIT. LUKE SAVED YOU?!

-Yeah. He jumped on Caleb and punched him. The thing is...-I hesitate, my chest tight, and I take a deep breath to keep from crying.

-What is it, Jules?- Flynn says, reaching for my hand.

-I don't know where he is, Flynn. After he saved me, he told me to run with the guys. Said he'd be okay. And he stayed behind with that monster... while the whole building was falling apart.Caleb held him back while we got out, and when it collapsed...-I feel the first tear roll down my cheek-...he was still inside.

-Oh, Jules... he risked his life for you. Well, not life life, but, you know what I mean.

I glance down at the letter and the song sitting under my hands, ready to show her.

My fingers brush the edges, and for a second, I freeze.

Flynn notices.

-Is that... from him?-she asks softly.

I nod, swallowing the lump in my throat. -Yeah. He left it for me in my dream box. Before everything happened. Before going into the Club, he told me if anything happened, he had left me something in my dream box. Oh, and, remember the dance we had to do with the lacrosse team?

-Yeah, the one you danced with Nick but kept dreaming about Luke?

-Right. While i daydreamed with him, i imagined a song. And then, wrote It. It's called Perfect Harmony. And he knew about It.

-What?! He knew about a love song you wrote about him?

-Yes. And even after reading It, he still wrote me the letter.

-Let me read that, right now.

I slide the paper across the table, and she picks it up like it's something sacred. Her eyes flick over the words, and her mouth drops open just a little.

-Jules... this is...this is a love letter.

I shrug, trying to play it off, but the way my chest aches makes it hard to breathe. -It's more than that. He wrote the song, too.

Flynn blinks at me. -A love letter and a song? Girl, he's not just into you. He's gone.

I let out a shaky laugh, even though I'm barely holding it together. -Yeah. That's kind of the problem.

She sets the letter down gently, like she's afraid it'll break. -You need to find him. God, Julie. He's in love with you. -she makes a pause, and looks at me- The question is, do YOU love him?

-I-i hesitate- I do, Flynn. I love him.

-Ok, that's It. You do have to find him and ask him about the letter.

-I plan to. Alex told me he'll come back for me this morning to go back to the club and find him.

Flynn reaches over and squeezes my hand. - Perfect! Ghost boy can't just peace out after a grand romantic gesture and expect you not to chase after him. And we'll figure out later why the heck can i see the boys.

-That's another one...Oh my God, my life is so weird!

-But it surely is amazing.

-It is- i agree.

I'm packing my stuff at Flynns room, and she's washing the dishes. I hear the doorbell form the room, and some steps, meaning she went to open the door.

A few seconds later, i hear more steps, this time, from more than 2 foots, coming closer.

There's a soft knock on the door, and Flynn peeks out of her room.

"Alex is here," she says gently, like she knows I haven't taken a real breath since I told her everything.

I nod, tucking the letter and the song back into my backpack. My fingers linger on the zipper for a second too long before I finally pull it closed.

When I step out, Alex is waiting in the hallway, his hands in the pockets of his hoodie, eyes flicking up the second he sees me.

-Hey,-he says, voice soft.

-Hey.

-You ready?

I nod.- i don't think I'll ever be."

Flynn walks me to the door, giving me a hug so tight I almost break. -Bring him back, Jules. You have to.

-I will,- I whisper, even though I'm not sure I believe it. But I have to try.

--------------

The studio is quieter than I expected. Reggie's pacing in circles, and Willie's sitting on the couch, head down, twirling his board between his hands. Everyone looks like they've aged a hundred years overnight.

Alex and I walk in, and the moment Reggie sees me, he stops.

-You sure you wanna come?-he asks. me - I mean... if we find something and it's...

i wouldn't want to imagine.

-I need to come,- I cut in. -He saved me. I can't just sit here.

Willie stands up.-Then let's go.

I take again, Willie's hand. And we all puff out. I'll never get used to It.

And that's when we see It. The club. Or, at least what's left of It.

It used to be a place full of music and twisted magic. Now, it's just ash and silence. What used to be Caleb's glamorous club is now a pile of half-burnt beams, shattered mirrors, and feathers left from the costumes.

We walk carefully through the wreckage, stepping over collapsed chandeliers and broken instruments. Everything smells like smoke and something older, like burnt magic, if that's even a thing.

After 2 and a half hours of looking around, stopping over glass and screaming his name, none of us has seen anything.

-I still don't see anything, guys.-Reggie mutters, frustrated, kicking a piece of rubble aside.

-Luke!-I call out, louder this time. -Luke! Please!

No answer. Just the echo of my voice bouncing off dead walls.

My chest tightens. I can feel the panic starting to rise, like I'm about to fall apart.

Then, Alex freezes. -Wait. Do you hear that?

We all go still.

There's a sound, soft, faint, like a humming. A familiar one.

-It's... a guitar?- Willie says, confused.

-An acoustic guitar- Reggie corrects.

And then we all hear it.

A single note. Then another. And another.

We follow it, moving deeper into what's left of the club, until we reach what used to be the stage. most of It broken apart. But there's noise coming from It.

I move a mountain of rubbish that's getting on my way, and there he is.

Luke.

Sitting on the edge of the collapsed stage, his guitar in his lap, looking like a ghost of himself, but alive. Well... ghost-alive.His clothes are torn, he's got soot on his face, and he looks exhausted, with a few bloody wounds all over hid body, including his face. but he's here.

I don't even think. I just run to him.

-LUKE!

He looks up, and the second our eyes meet, everything in me breaks.

-Julie,- he breathes, like he can't believe it's real.-You're okay.

-I'm okay?- I choke out. Luke, You're the one who disappeared!

I throw my arms around him, and he drops the guitar to pull me in, holding me like he never wants to let go.

-I couldn't leave you,- he whispers into my hair. -I thought...I thought if I stayed, he'd let you go.

-He did. But you almost didn't make it out. What happened? We've been crazy looking for you.

Luke pulls back just enough to look at the others. -When the club started collapsing, I tried to get out, but Caleb... he held me back. Everything fell down, something hit my head...i don't know. Everything's so confusing.

-Why haven't you come back, man? -Willie asks him.

-I...can't puff, guys. I don't know if it's because i don't have the energy to do It, or because i'm hurt, but...i can't. I found a guitar that was still holding on and i had to distract myself a little. I knew you'd come.

-We thought we lost you, man,- Alex says, clapping him on the back.

Luke shrugs. -You're not getting rid of me that easy.

I hold his hand tight.

And in the middle of the ruins, surrounded by ash and memories and whatever's left of the darkness, we stand there...

...together.

Alive.

Luke

We puff into the studio. It still feels weird traveling that way, even now, after everything.

But there's something comforting about landing in the place that's always been ours.

The studio.

Home.

Reggie's the first one to speak. Of course he is.

-So... is it just me, or did we actually defeat an evil ghost-wizard with the power of friendship and rock and roll?

Willie flops onto the couch with a dramatic sigh. Then, he says- Not just friendship. Trauma. Don't forget the trauma.

Alex shakes his head, but he's smiling in that soft way he does when he's trying not to cry. -I still can't believe it worked.-he says.

I stand there, still a little dazed, still feeling the echo of the energy that ran through me when I made that final move against Caleb.

It wasn't just a punch. It was everything. Every fear, every bit of rage, every ounce of love I've got for Julie, for all of them. I poured it into that moment like it was the last thing I'd ever do.

And for a second, I really thought it would be.

-Guys,- I say quietly, finally breaking my own silence, -I saw it. When the club collapsed. Caleb started glowing, like, not ghost-glow. Something else. Purple light just exploded out of him, like he was being ripped apart from the inside.

Reggie's eyes go wide. -Dude, that's horrifying. Too much description there.

-No kidding- I mutter. - He looked right at me, and for a second, I swear he knew. He knew I was ending him. And then he just... scattered. Like ashes.

No one says anything for a moment.

Then Alex claps a hand on my shoulder, and whispers -You did it. You saved us. You saved her, man.

I look over at Julie. She's sitting on the amp, hugging her knees to her chest, looking at me like I'm the only thing keeping her breathing.

I know what she's feeling. 'Cause i feel It with her, too.

She's the only reason I'm still here.

-I didn't do it alone,- I say. -You guys had my back. You always do.

Willie stretches and stands. -Okay, I hate to ruin the moment, but you two need to talk. And we should not be here when that happens. -he says, not talking too loud for Julie to hear us.

Reggie nods. -Yeah. Too much love in the air. I might explode.

-Gross-Alex mutters, already disappearing in a poof of blue light.

They all vanish one by one, leaving a trail of sparkles and sarcastic remarks behind.

And then it's just us.

Julie and me.

And the quiet. Not a comforting one, thought. Tense.

She stands slowly, walks over, and for a second, we just look at each other. No words. Just everything hanging between us.

The studio suddenly feels way too small for how full my chest is.

She breaks the silence first.

-You scared the hell out of me, Luke.

Her voice is soft, but there's a sharp edge under it. Her hands are shaking. She's not hiding how much it hurt.

I step forward. -Julie...

-You stayed behind.-she interrupts me- You promised you'd be okay, and then you didn't come back. We thought...we thought you were gone.

-I wanted to come back,- I say, my voice cracking. -I just couldn't. And when i did It, i didn't know if i were gonna make It.

-So why'd you do it?-Her eyes are glassy now, but she's holding herself together like always.- Why would you risk everything?

-Because it was you.

The words come out before I even think. And it's the truth. Every single part of it.

-I saw him grabbing you and I just...I lost it. I couldn't let him take you. I would've done anything to keep you safe.

She doesn't say anything, so I keep going. I have to say it. All of it.

-You're not just the girl who saved our band. You're not just the person who brought us back. You're the music in my head when I can't sleep. You're the reason I feel alive again, even though I'm dead. Julie, you're... you're everything. And I didn't know how much until I almost lost you.

Her breath catches, and I see her eyes flick down, like she's overwhelmed but she doesn't move away.

She takes a step closer.

-I didn't sleep either...-she whispers.- I stayed up holding your letter, reading It over and over again. Humming the letter of your song on repeat, trying to figure out how I was supposed to keep going without you.

I didn't expect her to say it.

Not then, not after everything...the chaos, the fear, the relief of finally being back in the same room again. I thought we'd have time. I thought the letter would stay sealed, tucked away somewhere she'd never have to touch, because I made it back. Because I didn't die.

Not really.

But then she said it.Like a confession.

That she spent the night reading it.

The letter. The song.

Over and over.

And my brain just...froze.

She read it.

Not as a maybe. Not as a someday.

She read it as a goodbye.

And I realize now...of course she did.

She thought I was gone. Really gone.

And she opened the only piece of me I left behind, probably with shaking hands and red eyes and the kind of silence that makes everything feel colder. She let herself feel every word I wrote while thinking it might be the last time she'd ever hear from me.

Of course she was scared. I am that dumb i made everything seem like i knew i would die.

-You were gonna let me find out like that, Luke?- she says. Her voice doesn't shake, but it's low. Honest. -A piece of paper and a song? That's how you were gonna say goodbye to me?

I open my mouth, but nothing comes out at first. What do I even say to that?

-I... didn't know if I'd make it out,- I finally whisper. -And I couldn't tell you, Jules. Because if I had... if I'd said it out loud... I wouldn't have been able to do it.

Her eyes flick up to mine. -You thought it'd be easier for me to read it after you were gone? That that would hurt less?

-No,- I say quickly, my voice breaking.- No, God, I just... I didn't want you to worry. I didn't want you to feel it before it happened. I thought-I thought if I kept it quiet, I could protect you from the worst of it.

She looks away then, like she's trying to breathe through something sharp in her chest.

And I hate it. I hate myself for being the reason her shoulders are tensed like that, for the way her hands are clenched at her sides.

-I didn't need protection,- she says.-I needed you. And I needed the truth. You didn't trust me with it.

-That's not true.- My voice rises, desperate.- Julie, I trust you more than anyone. That's why I wrote the letter. That's why I left the song. Because if something happened to me, I needed you to know how I felt. I couldn't leave without you knowing that.

She finally looks at me. And there's so much in her eyes...hurt, yes, but also something else. Something that cuts deeper.

-You thought you were gonna die, Luke. And instead of telling me to my face, you handed it to a piece of paper.

I open my mouth, but no words come out.

I want to tell her I'm sorry. I want to beg her to understand why I didn't just say it. Well, i know she understands.

She just wants me to know that hurt her more.

But as the silence stretches, I feel it. The weight of her stares, the quiet pain behind her eyes. She's waiting for me to say something. Something real.

And I know what she's asking next. I think i know.

-Luke,- she says, her voice soft, but insistent.- I need you to tell me. I need you to swear it. That everything you said in that letter is real. That you meant it.

My heart stalls.

For a moment, I just stand there. I want to look away, want to find some excuse to avoid the question. Because that's what I'm best at, right? Hiding behind jokes, music, anything but the truth.

But with Julie is harder.

The problem is... I'm not sure. I'm not sure if I can say it. Not like that. Not with her face so close, looking at me with that same mix of hope and fear that's always been there. The fear that I might let her down. The fear that maybe, just maybe, I already have. And that i might do It again.

We're just kids, with no estability. We've done so much damage to eachother just by being next to the other.

-I... I don't think i can do that, Jules.

She pulls back a fraction, like she's bracing for something worse. But she doesn't look angry. No. It's that same vulnerability, that same longing that makes her Julie. The girl who always feels things so deeply.

-Why?- she asks me- You don't trust me? You don't believe in us?

I close my eyes, a tight knot forming in my stomach.

How can she think that? I believe more in us than in myself.

I don't want to hurt her, but I can't lie. Not this time. Not when we've already been through too much.

-I do believe in us, Jules,- I say, my voice cracking. -But I don't know if I can give you that promise. Not yet. Not when I'm not sure what tomorrow will look like. Not when... when I still don't know what happens next.

I step back, running a hand through my hair. The words feel like a confession, like I'm admitting something terrible about myself.

But it's true.

I don't know what's coming. Hell, I don't even know how much time I have left.

And to make her a promise like that, to swear to her that everything I said in that letter still holds, when I can't even be sure of it myself...it feels like the biggest gamble I could ever make.

She takes a step toward me, her eyes hardening slightly, but there's no anger there. Just that same, raw honesty I see in her every time she looks at me.

-You're scared,- she says, and I nod before I can stop myself. -You're scared of what that promise means. You're scared that if you tell me it's real, it'll make everything worse. Because if we lose eachother, that would mean losing another thing that matters the most to us.

-I don't want to hurt you,- I say, my throat tightening. -I don't know how to do this, Jules. I don't know how to be everything you need without breaking you along the way. This whole situation is hard. I can't give you everything...i don't know, Nick can.

I had to use him as an example, i'm sorry.

Her eyes soften, and for a moment, I feel like I'm the one being held together by her.

Like I've been waiting for her to fix me, and in some way, she has.

-I know what it's like to be scared, Luke,- she says quietly. -I know what it's like to wonder what's coming next, to not be able to hold onto the moment for too long because everything could change in an instant.- She takes a shaky breath. -But I'm asking you to swear it anyway. Because I need to know. I need to know if you're still here, if this thing between us is real. If it's all real.

I want to tell her it is.I want to take her face in my hands and say: I swear it's real. I want to promise her everything, that I'll never leave, that we'll make it through, that the love I wrote about in that stupid letter wasn't just the ramblings of a guy who didn't know if he'd survive the next day.

But the truth is, I can't promise her any of that. Not when I don't know how much time we have, not when I can't predict the future, not when I'm the one who's still trying to figure out how to live in this world again.

But then I remember what I do know. What I've always known. What she's always thought, even though nobody has confirmed It to her until my words did.

It's her.

It's always been her.

And despite everything: the chaos, the uncertainty, the fear...I know this much. I know that I can't leave her wondering anymore. Not about this.

-I do,- I say, my voice hoarse. -It's all real, Jules. Every word in that letter. Every note in that song. It's real. - i lower my voice, and stop for a moment, just to say:

-You're real.

She's so quiet after that, so still, and for a moment, I think maybe I've said too much. Maybe I've given away too much of myself.

But then she steps forward again, slowly, and before I know it, she's pulling me into her arms. She holds me like I'm fragile, like I'm something precious that she doesn't ever want to lose.

Her voice breaks, and suddenly her hands are on my chest, clutching the fabric of my hoodie like she's grounding herself.

-You can't do that to me again, Luke. You can't. It's been 14 hours of pure madness.

-I won't,-I say instantly.- I swear, I won't. I don't care what ghost rules I have to break, I'm not leaving you again. Ever.

She looks up at me, and something shifts in her eyes. Something soft, but fierce.

-I love you -she says.

Straight to my heart.

____________________________

You guys, 4089 WORDS.

i'm crazy when It comes about writing this kinda stuff.

well, i wanted to tell you: this story's coming to an end. Don't worry, there's still a few chapters to see this lovebirds fall in love.

But, right now, i'm glad to tell: WE ARE DONE WITH CALEB, WOHOOO.

Finally.

x ❤️❤️❤️❤️