forever yourS

(Y'all, get ready, this chapter has a lot of text because of Luke's letter. It's a BIG letter. But we LOVE a man showing his feelings, right?)

Julie

His handwriting is horrible. And i am supposed to read a letter? This boy...

The songs not that long. That's just...so Luke.

The title, underlined in red, says: In your heart, Molina.

There's a quiet in the way you speak,Like you've got the world figured out, but you're still so unique.I catch myself every time you smile,It's like you've been saving that for a while.

You don't need to say a word,I see everything I need to see,In the way you move, in the way you breathe,You make everything feel like it's meant to be.

I don't know what tomorrow holds,But I know I'll be with you through the highs and lows.You don't need to worry, you don't need to ask,I'll be right here, no matter the task.

The way you look at the world, it's different,You find the beauty in places that others miss.And every time you laugh, it feels like home,I'm not scared of being lost when I'm not alone.

There's a light you carry in your soul,A kind of magic I can't control.And in the quiet, in the things unsaid,You're everything I need, it's all in your head.

I don't know what tomorrow holds,But I know I'll be with you through the highs and lows.You don't need to worry, you don't need to ask,I'll be right here, no matter the task.

Even if the world fades to black,I'll be the one who'll never turn back.Just look inside, you'll always find,A piece of me, forever intertwined.

I'll be with you, no need to try,Just look in your heart, and you'll see why.

I never really thought... well, I don't know what I thought. Maybe that we were just friends, that what we had was just... what it was. But now, reading this, I don't know anymore. That that was how he felt like. Just a friendship.

And I know... I know he's trying to tell me something more than just friendship, more than what we've been for so long. I can feel it in every word, every line. The way he writes about us like we're something worth keeping, like we're something worth fighting for.

Oh, Lucas. He's a dream i never really knew i had. I can feel my heart beating faster now. I've been waiting for this, without even realizing it.

-Alex, i can't breathe.

Alex picks the paper, and quickly reads It.

-Julie, do you know what this means?

-Please, don't tell me anything that's not true. It might be a misunderstanding. It's as simple as that.

He looks at me, tired- Julie, can you PLEASE read the letter.

-Why? Do you know what It says, Alex?

-No, but i can imagine. Please, read It so we can give an explanation to all of this.

-Fine-i say, taking a deep breath. And starting to open the paper. -Should i read It out loud?

-If you want to...

-Alright, then. It's quite long, so expect me to be reading for a few minutes.

I look at the first line of the paper, ready to read. It's a really long letter.

-"Jules:-i start:

I guess I've never really taken the time to tell you how much you've meant to me. Not that I haven't tried to show it, because I have, (in my own way) but there's a lot more to say than what I let on. Sometimes it's easier to play it cool, right? But I think it's time to finally get this out, especially with everything going on right now.

When I first saw you, I didn't know what to make of it. I mean, I really didn't know. You were just there, this bright, talented girl in a way too big of a world for me. You walked into the studio with that whole "cross" moment, and I swear, for a second there, I thought you were gonna start an exorcism or something. I don't think I've ever been so offended and entertained at the same time in my life. And yet, it was in that exact moment I knew you weren't like anyone else. You were different, in the best way. You had this fire, this attitude, like nothing could stand in your way. And I guess, in a weird way, it made me want to stick around and see where this would go.

I'll admit, I didn't expect us to end up here, writing songs together, becoming so close. But that first time we sat down to write, something clicked. It wasn't just the music, you know? It was everything we had to say, everything that was just waiting to come out of both of us. That first song, it was like we'd always known how to make this work. I don't know if you felt that too, but it was different from anything I've done before. It wasn't just about the notes or the lyrics; it was about sharing something real. And that moment, when I realized you weren't just my new bandmate, you were a friend, I don't think I'd ever been more sure of anything.

Before..you know, eating that hot dog and leaving my parent's house, I thought I had my life figured out. I didn't think there was much left for me to know. It was just me, the band and the music. But now? Now, I can't imagine my life without you in it. Every time I see you, every time we get together to write or just talk, it feels like...maybe there's more to all of this than I thought. Like I'm not just going through the motions anymore. And even when things have gotten difficult, when I felt like I was losing my grip, like with everything with Caleb, when I wasn't sure what would happen next, I always knew that you'd be there. And I think deep down, I knew that whatever happens, you'd be okay, because you're stronger than you give yourself credit for.

I've been thinking about the future a lot, especially since we've been doing this whole "fighting ghosts" thing. I don't know what's going to happen after going into the Club, but I want you to know something: >>No matter what, I need you to remember that you are the reason I'm even here in the first place. You've made me feel like I'm actually worth something, like I can actually do something meaningfull. And even if I fade away somehow, if I'm not around anymore, I want you to know that I'll be okay. I'll always be okay, because I've had you by my side. I don't want you to carry all of this weight alone.

Molina, I don't even know how to say this without sounding like a total mess, but you've become everything to me. More than I ever expected, and more than I know how to express. It's not just about the music anymore, or the band, or any of that stuff. It's about you. You, who makes me want to wake up every morning, even if I'm just a ghost. You, who makes me feel like maybe I'm not just some faded memory. You've become my reason for holding on.I can't imagine my life without you anymore. The truth is, I don't want to imagine it without you. You've made everything, every day, worth living. And if I've never said it before, thank you. Thank you for giving me something real.

I've been avoiding this, maybe because I didn't know what it would mean, but I can't keep pretending that this is just a friendship anymore. And i also know you might not feel the same. But it's okay. I gotcha.

I thought i liked you. But it's more. It's way more than that. I love you, Jules. I think I've been in love with you for a while, and maybe it took me longer to realize it than it should have, but now I can't ignore it. I can't hide from it. I just wanted you to know.

And if there's one thing I do know for sure, it's that you're going to go so far, Julie. You were meant for this, for something bigger than all of us. I see it every time you step on that stage, every time you write, every time you fight for what you love. Nothing, not fear, not doubt, not even losing your mom, could stop you. And nothing ever will. You're going to change the world. You already changed mine.

I miss you when you're not around. I miss hearing your laugh, seeing you roll your eyes at my stupid jokes, the way your eyes light up when you talk about something you love. I just... I miss being with you, Julie. You've made this whole thing: being here, being me...feel real. I just hope, in whatever comes next, we'll be okay.

Before i forget: I need you to know how much it meant to me that you went to see my mom. Julie, I don't even have the words for it. Just knowing that you were there, that you talked to her, that you gave her something I never could... I can't even explain how that felt. It was like, for the first time in years, I wasn't just some unfinished story. You gave her peace. You gave me peace. And I know she would've loved you. I know she would've thought you were incredible, because you are. I don't think I'll ever be able to thank you enough for that.

And, hey, I wish I could be more than just a ghost for you. I really do. I wish I could be there in a way that's normal, in a way that you deserve. Maybe you're part of my unfinished business, if i had to die and come back to the world 25 years later to find a true love. But maybe that's something we'll figure out, too. Together.

Thanks for being here, thanks for being you. And thank you for making me feel like maybe I'm not so lost after all.But if being lost means finding you, then I'd do it all over again. A thousand times. In every lifetime, in every version of this world, I know I'd find my way back to you. Because no matter where I go, no matter what happens next, you'll always be my favorite song.

I'll love you forever, Julie Molina.

Forever yours,

Patterson."- i stop reading, after taking a few breaths.

I'm still holding the letter.

I don't even realize how tightly I'm gripping it until Alex gently steals it from my fingers and sets it down beside me. My hands are shaking, and my heart's beating so loud I swear he can probably hear it.

I feel like I've forgotten how to breathe.

-Damn, he really went all in...-Alex says, stunned.

I let out this weird half-laugh, half-sob. I'm crying. I'm a fountain.-Yeah...he did.

I stare at the handwriting on the paper like it might start glowing or disappear if I blink too much. Every word feels burned into me now. Like I'll never forget them, no matter how hard I try.

I don't want to forget them.

I don't know what I expected when he said he left me something. But it wasn't this. At all. Not something so honest. So...Luke.

He wrote about my mom. About me visiting his parents. He has told me before about It. That It meant a lot. I didn't even think twice about going to see her.

And the rest of it... I mean, I felt something. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew he felt something. I felt it too. In the songs, in the way he looked at me when he thought I wasn't paying attention. But seeing it written out like that, him saying it?

That he loves me?

It's too much and not enough all at once.

-He...really thinks all that about me?

Alex gives me this look like I've grown a second head. -Julie, he literally said you're his reason for waking up, what do you think?

I wipe the tears under my eyes, laughing a little-I just didn't know it was... this real.

But maybe I did. Deep down, I think I always felt it. I just didn't want to mess anything up. We had this thing, this magic, and I was scared to put a name on it.

But now it has a name. And it's terrifying. And beautiful.

And he's not here.

That's the part that makes my throat close up. Because I can't run to him. I can't even call his name and expect him to pop up beside me with that dumb smirk and say something like, "So... did you like it?".

I pick the letter back up and hold it to my chest, like maybe I can feel him through it. Like maybe if I hold it tight enough, he'll feel me too, wherever he is.

I don't know what happens next. I don't know if I'll get to see him again, even though the guys say i will. I'm not so sure.

But I know one thing for sure:

I love him too.

I don't know how long I sit there, holding the letter like it's the only thing keeping me from falling apart. Alex stays quiet, giving me space, but I can feel his eyes on me.

I start looking in the box. Maybe he left something else.

But that's when i see It. The song. My song. The one i performed and wrote for him.

Maybe Alex deserves to know i wrote a song to Luke too, as he did with me.

I take the folded paper that, inside, hides "Perfect Harmony". Our song.

But it's weird, i didn't fold It like this the last time i....

...oh crap. Hell no.

"Guess i'm not the only one who can't resist writing about us. Patterson"??

ARE YOU KIDDING ME??

-Oh, no. This has to be a joke. You've got to be kidding me. No way this is...no. This has to be a joke. Is It a joke?

Alex blinks at me. -Uh... you're gonna have to be a little more specific.

I turn to him, fully facing him now, my heart already racing.-This song. Perfect Harmony. Has anyone shown you this, Alex?

He doubts -Uhm...no, never.

-Alex Mercer, don't lie to me.

He looks at me, guilty -Alex....

His face does something weird, like I just asked him if ghosts are real. And that is when I know.

-What?!! I can't believe y'all went trough my stuff again?!

-It wasn't me!-he says quickly, throwing his hands up like I just accused him of murder. -Blame Luke! He stole it from your dream box! He thought it was about Nick! And you sung It to him.

-Wait, when i showed him the song...he had already read It?

-Yes ma'am.

-I can't believe it. I thought i could keep It until i was prepared, i...

-Julie- He starts- You wrote a love song about your bandmate and hid it in a box in your room. Did you really think that was gonna stay a secret?

I hate that he's right.

My jaw opens. Closes. Opens again.

-I hate you.

Alex shrugs.-That's fair.

-This is a nightmare,- I mumble into my palms.

He snorts- For you!! I'm having the time of my life! This is amazing!

He's got to be kidding me again, right?

-Can you explain to me how is any of this amazing?

He grins.- Because it means you don't have to freak out over how to tell him how you feel.-He gestures dramatically toward the letter.-You already did.-

I open my mouth to argue, because obviously that's not the same, but then I realize...

I literally wrote Luke a love song. And he knows it's about him.

And he still wrote me that letter anyway.

My heart stumbles over itself.

I glance back down at his messy handwriting, tracing my fingers over the page like it might give me answers. Maybe I don't need them. Maybe I already know.

I take a deep breath.- Okay,- I say, exhaling slowly. -Okay-

Alex raises a brow. -That's it?

I nod, swallowing hard.- Yeah.

Because the truth is, it doesn't even matter how he found out.

What matters is that he knows.

And he still loves me anyway.

-I have to tell him- I say.

Alex raises an eyebrow. -You mean verbally? Like, with actual words? Not just in a hidden song you never planned on showing him but still did without ever mentioning It was about him?

I groan, grabbing a pillow and throwing it at him. He catches it with a smirk.

-Yes, verbally-I grumble.

-Well, it's about time. Reggie and i seem to have known It before the two of you did.

I shake my head, smiling despite myself. But as soon as the laughter fades, reality crashes over me again. Because the truth is, I can't tell him. Not yet.

-I don't even know where he is.

The thought sobers me instantly, and Alex must see it on my face because his expression softens.

-He'll come back, Julie.

-How do you say It so sure?

-Because he's Luke-he gets closer- and, as i told you later, he can't be that much time away from you. He told you: he needs you.

I'm there, letting that thought get into my head.

-C'mon now, we better go to Flynn's. It's 2:00 a.m.

I get the letter and the song. I take Alex's hand, for us to puff back...

...but he steps forward.

-Wait!! Reggie wanted to be the one to take you.

What?

-Reggie? Why?

-I don't know...but don't talk to him about Flynn. You couldn't guess what's his face and what's his red jacket- he jokes, clearly telling me why.

-Ohh, i see.

-He'll come in in a second-He tells me- Don't worry about Luke, Julie. I'm sure he's fine. Tomorrow, wait for us at Flynns house. We'll get you, ok?-he hugs me- 'night! -he says before puffing out.

A few seconds later, Reggie comes in.

-Your taxi's here ma'am!! - i giggle after his comment.

-Let's go, Reg. I need some sleep.

i take his hand, and before noticing It, where back at Flynns room.

-AHHHH- she screams.

-Jesus, Flynn. I thought i'd told you to be prepa-

-Jules, why can i see him?

Huh?

-"See" who?

-Reggie.

Oh, no.

Oh, yes!

You again?

Here i am. Pure as a dove.

Fine.

I can't believe it. They're visible?

Reggie and i both look at eachother, in desbelief.

-Flynn, come touch Reggie.

-What...?

-TOUCH HIM!!

-Ok, ok, don't scream at me like that.

She gets closer, and she lifts her hand to touch Reggies arm.

And he doesn't pass right trough him.They're visible. And touchable.

-WHAT??-the 3 of us shout at the same time.

-I-i can't believe this....

-Me neither, Julie.

-The two of you don't believe it? Imagine me, i am the dead one!!!

-Reggie- i start- you've got to go and tell Willie and Alex to hide in the loft of the studio, in case my father of brother come in, they don't find you.

-Yes boss, i Will -he starts getting ready to puff out- oh, bye, Flynn. -he giggles.

-Bye Reggie-she says quickly.

he puffs out-"Bye, Reggie"?

-Oh, shut up. Well, what happened? I see they didn't disappear so...what happened with Mr. desd eyes?

-Wasn't it Mr.dead smile...?

-He's a lot of Mr's. Well, tell me everything.

I look at the clock. Damn, it's 2:15 a.m.

-There's a lot, i mean, A LOT of things to tell you but...can we talk when my eyes are not automatically closing because of how tired i am?

She smiles at me-Of course. Go take a shower and we'll go to sleep later. You sure must be exhausted.

-Thanks, disaster.

After taking the shower and eating a sandwich, i'm in Flynn's bed, next to her. She's already sleeping (i can hear her snorking) but i'm just looking at the ceiling.

I've got to sleep. Tomorrow we're finding Luke. I need to rest...

And tomorrow i'm talking to him about all of this. If we find him.

I'm laying, while looking at the ceiling, with that thought for a moment, letting it settle in my chest.

Luke knew.

He knew about Perfect Harmony. He must have known for a while now. And instead of freaking out, or making some dumb joke, or pulling away... he wrote me that letter.

He loves me.

Even after knowing how I felt, maybe even because of it, he still chose to put his heart in my hands.

I don't know what to do with that.

From the side table, i take one of the sheets of the letter. Reading It again.

I don't know when, or how, or what it'll look like when he does, but I know he will. Because Luke never lets go of the things that matter to him. And I refuse to believe I'm an exception.

So I won't waste time being afraid anymore.

He gave me his words, his heart, without knowing if he'd get anything back. Thinking he'll be gone by the time he could get anything. And that's not something I'm going to take for granted.

Luke isn't the kind of person to leave things unfinished. Not music. Not the band. Not me.

So I fold the letter carefully, holding it against my chest, and let myself believe it.

He's coming back.Back home. With us. With me.

And when he does, I'll be ready.

And i'll tell him.

I'll tell him everything.

___________________________________

Hey, double trouble today (see what i did there)

You know, i had to re-write the letter a THOUSAND times, because they one i wrote 2 years and a half ago was as cold as ice.

When writing this one, i cried. I'm so excited, i loved this chapter, and writing/correcting It. It felt so natural.

Well, i hoped you liked this double chapter y'all had today in less than 3 hours.

Again, i'm SORRY (not sorry) for the 1500 word letter. Luke had a lot to say to Jules.

Oh, i also wrote this song (which i'm not really that proud of) but oh well.

And that's It lolxo ❤️❤️❤️❤️