C17

At Joss's house :

"Won't your dad say anything with me being here?" Gawin asks, following behind Joss as they walk upstairs.

"What does he have to say with u being in my room?"

"Still..."

"U are my lover...my other half, so u also have equal rights in this house as me. Don't think too much about useless things and save it for me."

"Always trying to flirt whenever u get a chance." Gawin side eye Joss. They reach the room. Joss closed the door behind them and locked it.

"Why did u lock the door?" Just as Gawin turns around, Joss rushed to hug him tight.

"Finally peace."

"Hey..." Gawin slightly tries to push him away, but Joss wasn't budging, so he lets Joss hug him as long as he wants.

"What magic did u do on me? Why do u have so much effect on me? U are like a medicine for my untreatable sickness. Why do u have a soothing effect on me, making me want to hug u always."

"Bastard. Am I kind of a medicine to u?"

"Yes, and that too a very strong and addictive one." Joss said, followed by a light punch from his man on his abdomen."Ouch....wait...hahaha...wait...sorry."

"Medicine? Medicine?" Joss runs away, so Gawin chases after him.

"Sorry. Sorry! I'm sorry."

"Am I a medicine!?"

"No, u r not!" Joss puts his hands in the air. "I surrender." He pulls Gawin to sit on the bed with him.

"U better not make me mad if u want to live happily." Gawin slaps on Joss's arms, making Joss rub the spot with a smile.

"Ok, I won't. I'm sorry." Joss puts his face on Gawin's shoulder and pouts, putting on a cute puppy face.

"What?" Gawin asks with a side eye.

"Can we cuddle now? Can we? Can we?" Joss slightly shakes Gawin, making Gawin frown a bit.

"Um." The moment Gawin gives the green light, Joss push him down along with himself to lay on the bed. Gawin lays flat while Joss hugs him from the side with his legs on Gawin. Joss lets out a heavy breath, staring at the wall while still hugging Gawin's body.

"I'm thankful to have u by my side." Joss speaks up.

"Same goes for me." Gawin replies, making a smile form on Joss's tired face.

"If u are not by my side, then I won't even be able to sleep, let alone have a laugh. I'm able to gather myself and stand strong even if wavering from time to time thanks to u. U are my sunshine."

"When did u become so poetic? Should I call u Mr. Poet from now on?"

"Haha, for real, I know this may sound cringe, but it's the truth. I had forgotten how comfort or real happiness feels a long time ago for a long long time until u came." Joss adjusted his face and placed it on top of Gawin's chest. "Even though I don't believe in next life, if it means having u in my life then I wish to be reborn to love u for eternal."

"Do u love me that much?"

"Yes, I love u so much. In fact, I have never loved anyone the way I love u."

"I never even imagine that we would end up together like this."

"Yeah, who would have thought?"

"The day u told me to stay away from u..."

"Um..."

"I was so heartbroken that day. Even my breakup doesn't hurt that much. I was suffocating from crying and u didn't even look back."

"Sorry. I didn't look back cause I was afraid that if I do then I would go running towards u. I was afraid, afraid that u might get hurt because of me. I don't want u to get hurt."

"So now u are not afraid anymore?"

"I am but I decided to become strong and protect u. I think everyone must be afraid of losing their love ones, afraid that they might get hurt because of him or her so can go to the greatest length to protect their love ones. I decided to do the same."

"Thank u for finding me and giving me a place where I can be me freely." Gawin rubs his hands on Joss's back.

"Euthanasia..."

"Hm..?"

"My mom, she's in a lot of pain and won't be able to live long so to put an end to her sufferings the doctor suggested euthanasia." A drop of warm tear fall on Gawin's chest wetting his shirt. "Should I let them do that? Should I let my mom go? It hurts so much. My heart is so heavy and it stings so much."

"If we are born then death is the only sure thing in life. U, me and everyone else will leave this world someday or the other. It's just a matter of difference in time but we'll all bid farewell from all at the end." Gawin pats on Joss's back. Joss didn't speak anything neither Gawin. They just lay there silently with Joss letting his tears fall freely.

At the hospital:

'Doctor, is there no way to save her? Used any way to make her sufferings end and live longer please! No matter how much money it cost I'm willing to pay so please just save my wife." Joss's father cries literally begging the doctor to save his wife's life. A side he doesn't show to anyone besides his beloved wife he's showing in front of the doctor falling to his knees begging for his beloved's life. A man who stood tall all his life with pride and power is on the ground knees burried deep into the ground crying a river. "I can't let go of her..."

How hard it is to be a good leader to the company, a good man for the society, a good son to his parents, a good husband to his wife and a good father to his childrens? But no matter how hard it was he fulfilled all his duties with a smile covering all his sufferings deep inside his heart. A man with a good heart when failed to fulfill even one of his responsibilities, his heart will break into billions of pieces. The word billions also apply not only to his wealth but to the state of his heart also.

When trying to have it all, he felt as if he's losing one by one slowly so giving up a few was a must so he decided to give up what he values the most, the deep bond he and his childrens shares. With people being selfish is a normal thing in this world he had to protect them in his own way and this is the one way he could think of, neglecting his childrens making them independent enough to not depend on anyone in the future. Preparing them for the day when their parents aren't there anymore to protect them and be the pillow to lean on but still leaving them behind all the things he earn for their sake to lead a good life.

But little did he knew that doing that will shattered the bond and cut it so deep that it won't be able to stick together anymore. Teaching them to be nonchalant to the point that they don't feel anything anymore. From usually talking to each other almost every minute to not talking to each other becoming the new normal. Everyone live like zombies in the house devoid of any feeling just wandering here and there.

With the missing of the motherly touch in the household, what used to be a home slowly starts changing into a house where they just sleeps and takes shelter, no special meaning, no memories nothing. With all the family members losing themselves day by day the house also becomes lifeless. Full of decorations and colorful paintings but devoid of soul.

<see u on next chp>