16

I am wide awake, but I just don't want to open my eyes the second I'm aware of it. A fresh scent fills my nostrils as soon as I move under the covers to hide my head from the light crossing the windows, and it makes me frown and think if alcohol fucked up my senses. The smell is nowhere near the flowery detergent I use.

I slip my body up, resting my head on the pillow again, and the smell hits me like a punch on the mouth. With my eyes closed, I can easily picture him right in front of me. And that leaves me with two options: either he slept in my bed or I'm the one who's in his bed. But considering the way he reacted yesterday about the thought of having me in his house, I discard that.

I open my eyes slowly, letting my pupils get used to the light before I'm welcomed by a blank wall. My heart starts beating faster as soon as I'm aware this isn't my room, and where there should be a door to my bathroom, there's nothing.

I roll on the bed, just to face a brick wall with two big windows that allow me to see some of the other buildings in the neighborhood.

I'm trying hard to remember what happened after I got in his car, but it all is dark -except for my own whiny voice, that I clearly recognize in the back of my mind, crying because I wanted to bite something.

Oh please. No.

"Let me lick it" keeps replying in my head with a cringey voice.

If I could only slap my past self.

I hide under the covers again, still sitting in bed, as if that would erase the fact that I was literally begging Jungkook to let me lick god knows what. While trying to make that memory disappear, his voice interrupts me.

—I see you finally woke up.

—Please, let me die in peace.

—That's not what you were begging for last night.

I move the sheets away fast, just to find him with a playful smile on his face, while his body is lying against the door frame. That black t-shirt, the pair of baggy black pants and his messy hair make him look good. Way too good actually.

I see him lifting his free hand, while the other is still inside the pocket of his sweatpants. Just one move of his thumb, and I hear my broken voice, laughing hysterically, while trying to say "It was like a sprinkler". I know what I was talking about perfectly, and I have no time to be ashamed of it, since I'm already getting up from the bed and heading to Jungkook.

—Delete that.

He lifts his arm as soon as I'm about to reach his phone, holding it up high while he's looking at me with a mocking smile.

—Ask nicely.

—Nicely my ass —I jump, to try and reach it—. Just delete it.

—But you look so cute in it —he starts walking backwards, not moving his eyes away from me—. How could I delete that?

Instinctively, I walk to him, but Jungkook keeps moving the phone around, away from my hands, as soon as I'm close to reach it. In one of those moves, he places his hand on his back, which makes both of my arms wrap around him. He keeps sneaking the phone away from my reach, using his whole body to sneak it away until he loses balance. Jungkook would've easily fallen by himself if he hadn't wrapped his arm around my waist to drag me to bed with him, making me land on his body.

I could easily get distracted by the way he's looking at me, or how good his arm feels still wrapped around my body. But he's the one who's distracted, and I take the chance as soon as I get it. The fact that I was allowed to snatch his phone away, should've been telling for me, but I fool myself by not paying attention to it.

His deep chuckle fills my ears the second I'm aware the phone is blocked by a number code, and shortly after he takes the phone away from my hand to place it on the nightstand.

—Seriously, delete it —I warn him.

—Or what?

There isn't really a response to that. The second his eyes fix on me, with a darker shade than usual, I no longer care about the video. My gaze travels down his face, just to find him playing with that fucking lip ring with his tongue. The "Let me lick it" that was replaying in my head earlier, now makes a lot of sense. It's as if I were attracted to it, unable to resist the intrusive thought that's pushing me to lean closer to him and rub my lips against that mole hidden in his mouth, making my way to his lip ring.

Jungkook avoids it from happening the second I stick the tip of my tongue out. He holds me by my cheeks and sinks me in for a kiss that's passionate and naughty since the very beginning. His hands feel warm when they wander over my body, and sneak inside the oversized t-shirt I wasn't aware I was wearing before.

I want it to go further, I want him to touch me. But I suddenly feel like I need to step back, move away and escape. More than once I need to open my eyes just to make sure it's him who's kissing and touching me.

I want it to go on, and I try my best to keep my focus on how soft and rough his lips feel on mine. But the second his hand moves closer to my bra, I feel unable to avoid my body from moving away and break the kiss.

He looks at me confused. His eyebrows are slightly furrowed, while his now soft red lips, coated with a thin line of our spit, are parted as he tries to recompose from the kiss. I move my gaze away from him, and look around, just to confirm myself for a second time I'm here, nowhere else, and it's only Jungkook and me right now. And I really want to know why the fuck I have the need to confirm that when it's obvious.

When my eyes go back to him, his eyes aren't showing confusion anymore. He's worried.

—Are you okay? —he sits, barely leaving a few centimeters between us.

I nod, I feel okay. But my heart keeps beating fast, and it isn't the same type of heart beating I've had other times I was with him. The feeling isn't the same, and it's not because of him.

—Hey —he grabs my chin, making me look up to him—. You sure?

Looking at Jungkook right now brings me a calmness I never thought I'd get from him. It will sound like a dumb cliche, but he makes me feel safe. All that uncertainty and sudden fear slowly vanish the second my eyes land on him.

God knows we went further the last time we were in a similar situation, and I'd have let him go even further if he hadn't decided to stop it all before I got too lost in the feeling. This is confusing enough for me, how would I be able to explain it out loud to him?

—Yeah —not a total lie though, I'm okay now—. I just...

—It's okay —he doesn't need me to finish—. No need to give explanations —his thumb feels recomforting while making circles on my cheek—. Are you hungry?

As soon as I nod, he smiles big and moves on the bed to get up.

—I cleaned and dried your clothes —he informs me—. They're in the bathroom —he points somewhere outside his room—. So if you want to, you can change while I prepare lunch.

Lunch? I can't believe I slept that much.

—You're good at cooking?

—The best —he screams from somewhere in the house—. You'll love it.

After I changed clothes and I'm back to wearing the same top and skirt I wore last night, I step outside and find a cozy apartment. It's not like I tried to imagine much of this place after how mysterious he was yesterday, but it's exactly the place where you'd expect him to be living in. No pictures, nothing personal hanging, but some details scream his name. Like that shelf, filled with motorbike helmets with crazy designs drawn on them, placed over the TV. Or the boxing bag hanging in the corner, next to his bedroom door. Or some big drawings he has piled up on the other side of the living room.

—I don't get why you don't like inviting people over —I mention, as soon as I see his figure moving in the corner of my eye—. Your house is cool.

—It doesn't have anything to do with that —he stops next to the table when I turn to look at him—. I just think opening your home for somebody to spend quality time there is way too intimate —he shrugs—. Too personal.

I can understand where he's coming from. In general, our homes are our safe places, where we go to hide when everything outside seems bad.

As soon as I'm about to speak, Jungkook interrupts me.

—Also... If those girls don't know where I live, they can't bother me here.

And he ruined it.

—Fuck off —I roll my eyes—. Wait, that's why you took me to the studio?

He doesn't need to answer with words, the way he snaps his fingers pointing at me while raising his eyebrows is enough.

—You're an asshole.

—Thing is... Usually, when they see I'm a tattoo artist, they...

—I don't care! —I stop him.

I know that's exactly the reaction he wanted to get from me when he starts laughing, his eyes are totally shut and he's showing all his teeth while laughing silently. He slowly goes back to his own self, walking his way back to the kitchen before screaming that lunch is ready.

When I sit on the table and he serves me a plate, I try my best to hold my laugh. But as soon as he sits in front of me and I see his lips pressing tight against one another, as he tries to hold back his laughter, I can't take it anymore. It looks like a train has run over my omelet, but his doesn't look any better.

—It's a reconstruction of the typical french omelet —he says.

That totally makes me break into a cackle. And I hear Jungkook laughing right after me, letting out a high pitched chuckle that makes me laugh even harder.

We start eating after we take our time to recover from that laughter attack. Whatever there is in the air today, it's affected us badly.

—So? What do you think? —Jungkook asks, chewing on his food.

—It's good —I assure—. I could've grabbed something to eat on my way home. Or maybe I could've cooked something here. You didn't have to do it —I look around, but my eyes fall on him again before I can even avoid it—. You let me spend the night here, you cooked for me...

—Well, let's say, by what you've told me, you went through a lot last night —he shows me a funny smile—. I think you've had enough for the past hours.

I'm really hoping he doesn't say it, but of course he does.

—Throwing up on the dude that was trying to take you home. That's a new level of fucking it up.

—In my defense, it seemed like I did him a favor by giving him an excuse to leave —I mention. Jungkook's curious eyes lay on me as soon as those words leave my mouth—. He liked Melanie and Tammy, but his friends were faster and he ended up with the six of the group of friends.

I say it carelessly. I'm aware that's what went through his head when he said girls like my friends weren't ever into guys like him. No wonder though.

—A six? You're a six? —Jungkook raises his eyebrows, surprised by my comment— Did that asshole say that?

—Nope. That was mine—I sip on my water.

—You're not a six —he goes on—. You're a worthy nine.

—If you tried to comfort me, you could've said I was a ten.

—You're a ten —he sounds sure of what he's saying—. But your low self-esteem, and the attitude you have when you go places, makes you a nine —he shrugs, before he continues—. That asshole should've been thankful you stayed long enough to listen to his bullshit.

I feel my cheeks burn when he says that. Clearly he is interested enough to give up on hookups and flings for me, but hearing Jungkook directly compliment me that way hits me differently. I clear my throat, making an effort to make my voice sound nice and chill, instead of high-pitched and nervous.

—Why didn't you take me home? You know where I live.

—I felt better having you around, considering the state you were in —he doesn't look at me while answering, but I don't really pay much attention to it—. Then I gave you some clothes, and you decided to only put on the t-shirt —he continues to explain—. I gave you the bed, and I slept on the couch.

Mental note: do not drink that much ever again.

I can't help it but feel bad after bothering Jungkook last night, and this morning. To the point that, as soon as we're done eating and I get away with clearing the table and doing the dishes, I waste no time to start picking up my things to leave.

—Give me a minute. I'll put some shoes on and drive you home.

—It's alright —I stop him—. I'll get on a bus. Don't worry.

He sighs as he gives in, knowing if he insists on taking me home, I'll insist just as much until we both end up arguing on how I can/can't go home by myself at two in the afternoon.

—Send me a text when you get home.

—Yup —I throw a triumphant smile at him as I walk out the door.