Chapter 14 - The Last Line

I got home late after dropping off Sam at her house.

She offered for me to stay but I wasn't comfortable doing that.

I was still getting used to her being around.

Being alone in the same space would be very tricky.

After helping her lay down on the couch, I placed the pill bottle and a glass of water on the coffee table.

I said goodbye but Sam was already asleep.

When I woke up the next morning, the first thing I saw was a text and an email from her.

I replied with a good morning and a smiley face but put off reading the attachment until I was in the taxi.

She was never the type to express what she truly felt so I couldn't believe what I was reading.

This time she didn't hold back.

I wondered if it was because she was writing under the pen name Chamcham?

Whatever the reason, by the time the taxi stopped in front of our office building , something inside me has shifted.

THE STORY OF ANOTHER US

PART 2

BY CHAMCHAM

Before I met M2, I lived in a bubble.

A world occupied by people who belonged to the same strata in society.

I grew up knowing wealth and I never had to worry about anything.

Everything was decided for me and all I had to do was follow the path that was predestined.

It worked for a while until that day I saw a stray dog on the street.

The dog brought me to a girl I have never seen before.

Her hair was dark as night.

The pale skin, straight nose and distinct European features made me think that she wasn't local.

I assumed she was a little younger than I was.

It was her who helped me with my dilemma.

But more than that, I found myself and who I truly am when I met her.

It was amazing how an encounter like that could open up a world I didn't know.

I began to look for her in the hallways, the cafeteria and the classroom.

When I found her at the library, my excuse for being there was the dog.

What I really wanted to ask was, what was she doing in the farthest corner of the library surrounded by dust motes and very old books?

It was strange how she seemed to belong there, unafraid of the gigantic bookshelves that looked as if it was going to topple over from the weight of the hardbound books.

M2 was rooted in that spot and she looked as if that was where she was supposed to be.

My curiosity led me to learn more about the new girl in school.

She was a teacher's kid, middle class and born in England.

I found out about this by asking one of the younger students to find information and relay it to me.

All it took was a bar of milk chocolate as a bribe.

M2 didn't have a lot of friends.

She only had two -- a guy whom I instantly disliked and a girl whom I often saw laughing and talking with her in the quad.

She only spent time there when she was with her friends.

Most of the time, I had no idea where she hung out.

Seeing her at the library was a coincidence.

I was hiding from someone.

The only place I knew where they wouldn't suspect to find me was the library.

M2 was also there but she was studying and not running away.

I wanted to talk to her but I didn't know what to say.

It baffled me how words don't come easy when I see her.

My mind went blank as if words were a foreign concept.

What was it about her that made me tongue tied?

I mean, she was just another girl.

Why was it so hard to come near her and talk like a normal person?

Later on I would learn that it was because she was not just another girl.

She was the one who would open my eyes to things I never paid attention to.

I was caught up in my own world and was ignorant about the struggles of others.

M2 taught me to level with her and to see things from her point of view.

It was very scary for me because I was unprepared to see all the beauty and pain that love would bring.

Falling in love was something I wasn't ready for.

Falling in love with a girl was something I didn't imagine happening for me but it did.

It was not part of what was predestined for my future.

The narrative that was laid out for me included a guy whom I had known since I was young.

Him and I were set to marry when the right time comes.

When I met M2, I threw that plan out the window.

I built a world with just the two of us.

A place where no one was going to oppose our love.

That was easier in theory.

The truth was harder to manage.

There were societal and familial expectations I had to fulfill.

To be with M2 required cunning and stealth.

I kept secrets to protect the persons I loved most in the world.

But my reality wouldn't allow me to pursue what I wanted.

I broke her heart with my indecisiveness.

When confronted with the truth, I went with what was expected.

I betrayed her trust and left her stranded.

I never saw her since.

Being unable to fight for whom I truly loved was my biggest sin.

M2 wanted nothing more but for me to keep my promise.

I couldn't do it at the time.

My cowardice and fear took over.

I turned my back on her and walked away.

Years past and by some sick twist of fate, we met again.

She was even more beautiful than the first time I saw her.

My heart did a silly thing whenever I saw her face in the crowd.

It back flipped as if it found the one thing it had been searching for all its life.

But unlike before when she was ready with a smile, this time I saw something different in those beautiful dark eyes – an awful feeling that pained my heart.

She hasn't forgiven me.

We were now orbiting the same space and I wanted us to co-exist peacefully.

It was easier on theory but harder in reality.

There were so many changes in her.

She was a star that was now out of my reach.

The things I say would come out wrong and she would end up being more upset.

The room felt smaller as if the air was being sucked out when we were near each other.

She didn't want anything to do with me and my heart was torn to pieces.

M2 may not like me as much as she did then but her unwillingness only made me want to prove that it was never too late to get the forgiveness I desire.

I would bridge the past and the present to earn that.

Even if my remaining days were spent going back and revisiting the places where I saw her happy and free, I would take her there so we could once again relive and enjoy those moments together.

It was M2 whom I wanted then.

The present now holds a different story.

If she was still the one for me, it was something we have to wait and see.

TO BE CONTINUED

I reread the last sentence over and over.

What the hell did I just read?

Was she messing with me?

Did she add that last line to dramatize the situation and keep the reader wanting for more?

Or was she trying to really get on my nerves?

The driver was startled when after I paid the fare, I slammed the car door shut.

I walked in at the office and was the first one there as usual.

After putting my things at my desk, I debated whether to go to the break room and make tea or to go to the second floor and check if someone was already there.

Sam's piece was disconcerting.

I wanted to confront her.

Since she started working here, she was usually early.

The other part of me was saying maybe I was reading too much into it.

It was Sam's version of the story anyway.

She could interpret it however she wanted.

I was not convinced.

I decided to go upstairs to check if she was already there.

The thoughts were swirling in my brain.

I couldn't stop my hand from shaking.

I knocked and heard a grumble so I went in.

Sam had her back turned.

She was reading the draft we wrote.

"We have to talk."

"Good morning to you too," She smiled when she turned around to look at me.

"Oh," Her face fell.

"You don't look too happy."

"What was that last line about?"

"What are you talking about?"

I pulled out my phone from my jacket pocket.

"If she was still the one for me, it was something we have to wait and see?"

"Why? What's wrong with it?" Sam was confused.

"What are you implying?"

"Nothing," She looked so calm and unaffected that it made me angrier.

"This," I pointed towards the phone screen, "is not just nothing, Sam. This story is as much mine as it is yours. Why are you distorting it by making the readers think that you still want me?"

"I'm not doing it for them, Mon."

I stepped back, stunned.

"Why don't you have a seat so we can talk?" She pointed to the chair across her desk.

I stayed standing in front of her.

"Suit yourself." She straightened in her seat.

"When we started with this project, what I wanted was to put the past behind us. Or at least that was what I thought at the time," She stopped to think of what she was going to say next.

"Mon, I see you almost everyday. From a professional standpoint, it would be easier for us to co-exist if we don't allow our shared history to get in the way. I wasn't lying about you forgiving me. I wanted that so badly. But then we went back to our old high school."

"What does it have to do with anything?"

"I realized that after all these years of being away from you, one thing remained the same."

"Don't say it."

"I have to."

"I don't want to hear it," I turned around to leave but before I reached the door, Sam caught me by the arm and spun me around.

I crashed against her chest and her arm closed around my waist.

"Sam, please don't say it." The tears came fast I couldn't stop them.

My chest heaved and I wanted to get away from her hold but instead, I laid my head down and heard the fast beating of her heart.

"I'm sorry," She gently stroke my back and I didn't like my body just melted in her embrace.

We stood there for what seemed like forever.

When I finally calmed down, I looked up to see that Sam was crying too.

"Believe me when I say that the last thing I wanted was to fall in love with you again. I just wanted your forgiveness, Mon. But then you sang that song with me and all the feelings I had for you that day came back. I wanted you then. I still want you now."

"I can't do this again, Sam." I moved away from her embrace.

"The last time almost ruined me. I was young and I thought I wouldn't survive the pain. But I did."

"I know and I'm sorry that I was so indecisive about everything."

"Nothing much has changed about you."

"I know and I feel so useless," Sadness passed across her face.

"I have to go," I touched the door handle but Sam placed her hand on top of mine.

"I'm sorry, Mon." Her lips trembled when she said it.

I turned the handle and left.

When I came back to my desk, my first thought was to go home.

I felt sick and didn't think I could focus on work.

The bile rose from my stomach so I ran to the bathroom and threw up.

Tears and saliva mixed with the shattering confession made me feel dizzy.

I sat on the toilet seat until I felt steady enough to go back to my desk.

The first thing I did was searched for my resume.

With Sam's declaration, I had to do something.

As much as I love working for this company, the thought that she still wanted me was going to ruin a lot of things.

I don't need this kind of distraction.

Not again.

I did it before and it took a long time to heal from that heartbreak.

Call me a coward but this time I am putting myself first.