Time will tell

"Are you trying to kill yourself" a familiar voice asks.

You don't turn around as you take in the question. Because the question sounds so unreal.. no one ever asks you that, and truly wants to hear the answer. Yet here you are late at night on the edge of the tower. Unsure whether or not to turn around.

"No" you sigh.. "it wouldn't matter if I did.. I wouldn't die anyway" you scoff.

"It matters to me" he says gently. "I don't want you to do that.. I can't let you do that"

"Why do you care.. you're not really here"

"You cant leave me y/n.. deep inside you know that" his dark voice breaks as he speaks.

And it's more painful than any sadness you've ever felt.

"You don't get to quit on me now"

You slowly take a step backwards. When you feel his hand on your back. You inhale sharply as two hands pulls you down from the edge of the tower. Holding onto you for dear life.

"What were you thinking" he yells. Replacing the ringing in your ears..

"I- I don't know" you breathe out.

He slowly softens his grip, making you turn around, facing him.

"Are you real or are you just in my head?" You ask softly..

"Im here" he says quietly, reaching out his hand to touch your face. But you quickly take a step away from him.

"Why Do i have dreams about you?.. " you stammer.. looking him up and down. "I see your face everywhere"

"I don't know"

"Stop lying to me!" You scream. "Why do I see you everywhere. Why did you come here?"

"You called upon me. So I came" Loki scoff unbothered.

"But why..how did I even know to call out to you!! Why did I call to you?" You ask, looking for the answers you can't seem to answer yourself.

"I can't do this y/n.." he shrugs turning away.

"What?" You hiss. "What is it you can't do?"

"I can't look at you.. I can't stand being around you" Loki shouts back at you.

"Then leave.. why did you even come back here if you can't stand being around me?"

"Because I cannot stand not being around you either" he admits.

"Is it to hard for you?"

"Yes it is.. I gave you what you wanted.. I let you move on" Loki growls. "Now let me me let you go" he pleads.

"What I wanted? I don't know what you're talking about" you stammer.

"It does not matter. I shouldn't have come here" Loki sighs.

"Perhaps you shouldn't.." you scowl.. "but tell me the truth before you go.."

Loki looks deeply into your eyes. "You really want to know?"

"Yes"

"Fine" he growls.

Loki grabs your head, as you feel the weight of his hands pressing against your temples. Then you see it clearly, the dreams you were having was your memories finding its way back to you. Watching as a gleaming light glows behind your eyelids, showing you down paths you never even knew existed in your mind. You pull away from him, looking at him with tears streaming down your face.

"Are you happy now?" He scoffs.

"You came back for me?" You smile softly. Like you're seeing him for the first time.

"Technically I didn't-"

"Just shut up"

You pull him towards you kissing him deeply. Feeling how Lokis hand travels from your temples to your jaw, you didn't know why you did that. But the overwhelming sensation of seeing him again, reliving all that love and pain.. Kissing the first love of your life, as if it was the very first time you had ever touched him.

Loki deepens the kiss, tasting every inch of your lips, Melting into the kiss as you feel a warm rush flooding over you, like everything crumbles around you, dissolving into nothingness. As if the rain stops pouring for a just a second.

Then you see his desires, his hopes and dreams.

There's no throne.

There's no kingdom

No power.

There's only you, in the middle of a storm, rain pouring over you as a glimpse of sunlight peeks through, shining a light down at you. Behind you are two roads. One leading into the darkness and one leading into the light. And you're right there at the crossroad.

You pull away, looking at him with teary eyes.

"What was that?"

"I don't quite know" you smile softly.

"Why is that in my head?" Loki asks confused.

"I don't know"

"Then who does?."

"The last thing you mother said before she died, I couldn't stop thinking about it, it made no sense.. but now it does" you laugh.

Loki looks at you partially because he's a tad scared of you right now. But mostly because he has no clue what you're talking about

"You are the sun... show my boy the light"  you explain. "If I am standing in the crossroad between the light and the dark.. It can't be a coincidence that I fall in love with the boy living in the shadows"

"I'm a little confused, are you still mad at me or?" Loki asks, his face one big question mark.

"No..I'm not mad at you.. if anything you should be mad at me." you say determined. "I'm okay with the pain" you smile softly. "I don't forgive you.. but I give you another chance. If you can give me another chance"

"I'll think about it" Loki teases.

You roll you eyes, as you fall into his arms. Feeling as your cold, soaked bodies cling onto each other.

"So what's happening now?" He asks.

"You show me everything" you smile resting your head against his.

Loki closes his eyes, as the sharp sensation runs from your temple, spreading down into your entire body. Digging up your lost memories, and there you it so clearly, your lost life. The brothers next door get replaced by the two princes, you see Loki in between it all, like all your memories leads back to him.

As he digs through that night bringing it into the light.

However painful it is.. the warm sensation of his hands on your body makes it all worth it.. And there you are, falling info the crashing waves, managing to get a hold of the cliff side.

"I can't hold on any longer Loki"

"You must.. I can't loose you"

"I love you"

"I'll find you! I'll always find my way back to you"

"Im sorry"

You watch as you fall to your death. Listening to the screams of Loki. Your body falling through the sky, accepting your fate. Then your body sinks into the water. laying in the ice cold water a late night in January. The pressure of falling from such a height combined with the temperature of the water Stopped your heart from beating. And for three minutes you were left cold and alone without a heart beat, your body temperature falling down to 24 degrees Celsius. when a lightning bolt hit your body, sending 750 volts through your body, sending you into shock, restarting you heart. Blood once again started to fill your body, slowly reheating. Soon after you took you first breath, and with all your last energy swam up to the shore. Taking you first breath in three minutes. And in all those minutes your mind lingered on only one thing... him.

You shut open you eyes, feeling as you've drowned all over again. You look up at Loki, a single tear falls from his cheek. A smile sneaks onto your lips. As you wipe away the tear.

"I'm not crazy" you say quietly. It's all you could think off. You weren't going insane. The truth had been in your mind for all those years. "IM NOT CRAZY" you shout at the top of your lungs, twirling around as the pouring rain seems to wash away any doubt you've ever had.

"You look crazy" Loki chuckles.

You roll you eyes grabbing his hand as you dance around in the pouring rain. Feeling as free as a child roaming through the gardens with him all those years back. You catch a glimpse of him looking at you in awe, as he swirls you around.

He takes a deep breath, intertwining his fingers with yours, pulling you close to him, leaving a kiss on your lips. You let your hands travel up to his jaw holding him in that moment forever.

"My darling I apologize" he whispers.

"Why are you apologizing?"

"I should have shown you years ago.. I wasted so much time"

"Loki don't-"

"Not even time will tell how much I've longed for you.. for us" Lokis speaks.

His power will forever and always be his way with words, like every word he ever spoke was the most beautiful poetry you've ever heard. He did not need to try, all he did was look at you, and he could write books about your love.

"You're here now.. that will forever be enough for me" you whisper, as you lips quiver. The coldness of the late November night had finally crept in on you.

Lokis face softens, knowing he could never warm you up. He pulls away his hand. Taking off his cape, wrapping it neatly around your shivering frame.

"Let's get you warmed up" he smiles softly.

You walk inside together, the group is still sitting around the table waiting for you. Their eyes widens as they see you and Loki walking in together, his cape wrapped around your wet cold frame.

You turn to look at them, a giant smile glued to your lips, as Loki nods his head slowly, leading you into your bedroom.

You both start laughing hysterically at the groups reaction to his presence. Every time you're close to catching you breath you look at Lokis bright smile, causing you to laugh all over again.

This is the kind of love you've only seen in the movies, the one so rare that not even words could begin to comprehend how you feel when you're with him..

"I'll go run the water, we need to get you warmed up" he says, leaving a small kiss on you cheek.

"Thank you" you smile

You sit down on the edge of the bed, wrapping his cape tightly around you, taking in the smell of him. This was a scent that you wish you could bottle up and use as perfume. It was almost citrusy.. but then again not. He smelled like wooden oath.. like summer rain.. like a forest in autumn, when all the leaves where falling down. Like faint lavender in the spring, when they're we're just starting to bloom. He smelled like green apple peel, freshly from the garden. Like all of you're favorite things combined.

"It's ready for you" he says softly.

You gently lay down his cape, walking into the bathroom. He smiles softly before closing the door behind you. Giving you a moment of peace. You had hoped he would join you, but he seemed worried, and although happy, like something was troubling him.

You didn't want to wash away the night, but you had a feeling many more like these were to come. Like it was the beginning of something extraordinary... he came back for you.