Piece by Piece

Daryl's POV

Finally got food.

Rotten meat. Somethin' sour underneath it. My gut twisted, 'n' I already knew what it was 'fore I opened my damn eyes.

Dog food.

Dwight dropped the sandwich onto the floor like I oughta be grateful. "Eat up," he muttered. No smart-ass remarks this time. Just cold, dead indifference.

I didn't move.

The stench had been enough to turn my stomach, but the hunger was worse. It gnawed at me, made my hands shake, made my mouth water even as my body had screamed at me not to. I couldn't hold out.

Ath would be pissed if she saw me like this, and the thought hit harder than any of Negan's punches.

She never let me wallow. Never let me sink into my own bullshit. She woulda busted down them doors by now, raised hell 'til I was back in her arms...

But I made sure she couldn't. She was far away with Merle. Safe.

I missed her so damn bad it hurt worse than the bruises, worse than the cracked ribs, worse than anything Negan coulda ever done to me.

~

I woke up to the sound of that fuckin' song again.

Happy. Upbeat. Like nails on a chalkboard in my skull.

Don't how long I've been here. Days? Weeks? Time don't mean shit no more. Just the dark, the cold concrete, and that goddamn music they hadn't stopped playin'.

I had nothin'. No clothes, no blanket, nothin' but the stink of that cell and the ache in my bones.

Every day was the same.

Dwight would throw a disgustin' sandwich on the floor at some point. Men would come in to beat me, I'd fight back until they knocked me unconscious. That music would blare on repeat. I would think about Ath. Picture her face until I could fall asleep - escape it all for a while.

Over and over.

Lather, rinse and fuckin' repeat.

'Til one day, it was different.

I looked up when the door opened, expectin' another goddamn dog food sandwich, but instead, Dwight was holdin' clothes. Ratty sweatpants and a shirt. Tossed 'em at me. I didn't asked why. Just pulled 'em on, glad to not be sittin' naked on the cold concrete no more.

Didn't mean I was playin' along.

Dwight hadn't said nothin'. Just watched, then turned and locked me in again.

I sat my down, starin' at the crack of light under the door. The music was blarin'again.

I felt like cryin', but I didn't.

~

Dwight came again.

Had grabbed me by the arm, hauled me to my feet. My body screamed, ribs flarin' up like they was on fire, but I gritted my teeth and moved. Wasn't like I had a choice.

He led me out the door, down a dim hallway, past locked doors and guards with rifles. My eyes adjusted slow - bein' sittin' in the dark too long.

Sherry was there. The bitch from the woods.

She was sittin' on a chair, a doctor pullin' off his gloves. She looked up. She recognized me.

Then Dwight stepped in between us.

"Don't," he warned her. Dunno why.

Sherry didn't argue. Just looked away.

The doctor nodded at me, motioned for me to sit down. "Let's take a look at you."

I didn't move at first, but Dwight gave me a shove, and I stumbled into the chair. Doc checked my gunshot wounds. I was still wearin' the bandages I had stashed with my bike. The ones from the medical packs Sherry had tossed at me and Ath as they sped off with my crossbow.

"You'll be fine," he said. "Negan'll take care of you."

Negan.

The name alone made my skin crawl.

Sherry turned to Dwight. She was holdin' somethin' in her hand - a pregnancy test. Her voice was quiet when she spoke. "It's negative."

As soon as she spoke, I realized. It was her whisperin' through my door. Her tellin' me she'd seen Ath get away. I wanted to ask her if she'd been hurt. But I didn't.

Dwight didn't say nothin' at first. Then, real flat-like, "You can always try again."

Sherry didn't react. Just brushed past him, but as she went, she stopped by me.

Wasn't much, but she said, "Do what they tell you."

Then she was gone.

The doc patched me up as best he could, then Dwight pulled me outta the chair and hauled me down the hall again.

Then we stopped.

Negan was standin' there, that damn bat restin' on his shoulder, grinnin' like he already won. He pulled Dwight aside, startin' up some conversation I didn't give a shit about.

While they talked, a Savior stood in front of me, gun pointed right at my chest.

And right behind him, there was a door.

Was open just a crack, and through it, I saw an apartment. Bed, chairs, food on a table. A whole damn life, just sittin' there, waitin'.

Negan's offer.

All I had to do was take it.

But I never would. I'd never kneel.

Dwight yanked me outside, the cold air hittin' my skin like a slap. My whole body throbbed, muscles burnin' with every breath. Hadn't slept, hadn't eaten 'cept them sorry-ass sandwiches. Head was poundin' from the damn music they kept blastin'. Couldn't think straight no more.

We stopped near the fence. I blinked, tryin' to focus, but my vision was all kinda fuzzy at the edges. My head felt too heavy for my damn shoulders. Out past the chain-link, a couple of them worker types was haulin' a fresh walker up onto the spikes. Arms all twisted up, mouth still snappin' at the air like it thought it had a chance.

Dwight stood beside me, arms crossed. "You keep fightin', this is where you end up," he said. "Out here, rottin' with the rest of 'em."

I clenched my fists, felt my nails dig into my palms.

Couldn't say nothin'. Just stared at that walker, the way it twitched and gnashed, like it still had some part of itself left but didn't know how to use it.

Back in my the music kicked on again, that same damn song, loopin' over and over till it felt like my brain was leakin' out my ears.

I sat against the wall, knees drawn up, hands tangled in my hair. Tryin' to push the noise out. Tryin' to think through the fog settlin' over me.

Dwight was leanin' against the open door, arms folded, like he was waitin' on somethin'.

"Ain't never gonna kneel for him," I muttered. My throat was raw, voice like sandpaper.

Dwight's face twitched, just for a second, before he looked away. "I said that, too."

Then he shut the door and left me there.

The lock clicked. Music blared.

My heart pounded, rage bubblin' up, fightin' through the exhaustion. I pushed up, slammed my fists into the walls. Kicked the door. Again. And again. And again.

Nothin'.

Just that damn music.

~

Somewhere in the middle of the noise, A lazy guy showed up, slid a sandwich inside. Didn't say nothin', just turned to leave.

No lock. No click. The door just... sat there. Waitin'.

I sucked in a breath, slow and steady, tryin' to keep my heart from poundin' loud enough for the walls to hear. I checked under the door. Nobody was there. This was my chance.

The hallway was dark, empty. I crept down, breath held tight in my chest. My body screamed for me to stop, every muscle sore, bruised, torn up, but I didn't listen.

Didn't get far before I ran into Sherry.

She stepped in front of me, eyes wide, hands up like she thought I was dumb enough to start swingin'.

"You gotta go back," she whispered. "If they catch you-"

Didn't let her finish. Just stepped around her, feet movin' before my mind could catch up.

Couldn't stop now.

Didn't matter what happened next.

I hit the doors, pushed through, the outside air slappin' me in the face. Breathed deep, the first real breath I'd taken since they threw me in that hole.

And then.

"Are we pissin' our pants yet?"

Negan.

I turned slow, muscles tight. He was standin' there, all cocky and grinnin', bat restin' on his shoulder. Around him, a bunch of his guys-every single one of 'em starin' me down.

Negan smirked, spreadin' his arms wide. "Who are you?"

The Saviors all answered together. "Negan."

He turned back to me. "See how easy that is? Hell, you almost had me believin' you were ready for the next step." He shook his head. "But you just had to go and fuck it up, didn't you?"

Didn't say nothin'. Just stared.

Negan sighed, like I was some dumbass disappointin' him. "Alright. Three choices. You die. You work for points. Or-" He waved a hand toward the compound. "You work for me. Live like a goddamn king." He tapped Lucille against his boot. "C'mon, Dixon. What's it gonna be?"

I didn't flinch. Didn't move.

Negan's grin twitched. He swung the bat-stopped it right in front of my face. Close enough that I could smell it.

Still didn't move.

Negan chuckled, low and dark. "You got some real fuckin' balls, I'll give you that."

Then he turned away, and the beatin' started. More of 'em on me than any other time. I fought back until everythin' went dark.

~

Later, after I woke up back in my cell, Sherry came. Spoke through the door again.

"I'm sorry," she murmured.

Didn't take a genius to know what she meant.

Her and Dwight knocked me 'n' Ath out in the woods. Tied us up. Pointed guns in our faces. Took my crossbow.

I coulda said somethin'. Coulda told her to fuck off.

But I just sat there.

Didn't have it in me to care.

~

Dwight came again. And another guy.

Dragged me out, led me through the halls till we reached a different kinda room. Not a cell. Somethin' nicer.

Negan was already waitin', loungin' like he owned the world.

He told me a story.

About Dwight. About how he used to work for points. How he ran off with Sherry and her sister. How they came crawlin' back when Tina died. How Dwight begged Negan to let Sherry live. How she offered to marry him to save Dwight's ass.

That musta been when they had me 'n' Ath in the woods - when they'd ran.

Negan grinned, gesturin' to the room around us. "So, here's the deal, Daryl. You can be one of my top guys. You can live like this." He leaned forward, eyes lockin' onto mine. "All you gotta do is answer one, simple question."

His voice dropped, slow and deliberate. "Who are you?"

Silence.

Negan's grin twitched. "I'll ask again. Who are you?"

I clenched my jaw, stared him down.

I pictured Ath. Heard her voice in my head, remindin' me who I was.

"Daryl." I said.

Negan's smile faded.

Then he sighed, wavin' a hand. "Take him back."

And just like that, I was back in my hole.

~

I could barely stand. Barely breathe. Felt like I was floatin' outside myself, watchin' all this happen from somewhere far away. My head pounded with the weight of it all, but I didn't let myself stumble. Didn't let 'em see how bad off I was. Our group.

Negan had brought me to Alexandria with a shitload of others. It was humiliating knowing they were gonna see me like this. Battered. Filthy. Doin' Negan's dirty work. But I didn't have a choice. Told me he'd make sure one of 'em died if I didn't go.

Another twisted fuckin' game.

At least Ath wouldn't be here. I knew she was safe with Merle. Far away.

Negan's voice boomed out as he banged on the gate. "Little pig, little pig, let me in!"

Spencer hesitated, like he thought maybe he had a say in it. He didn't. Nobody did. Not with Negan.

The gate creaked open, and we all filed in. I didn't look up. Could feel their eyes on me, but I just kept movin'. Felt like a ghost walkin' through my own damn home, every step heavier than the last.

Rick was already there, waitin'. His eyes went straight to me. I saw it, the way his face changed - concern, anger, somethin' like guilt. But before he could say a damn word, Negan shoved Lucille into his hands.

"Hold this."

Rick caught it, his fingers tight around the handle like it burned to touch.

Rick said my name. But I didn't look at him. Not after what happened when I looked at Ath that day.

Negan reprimanded Rick. Told him he'd kill anyone that tried talkin' to me, then grinned. "Damn, I love this place."

They took whatever the hell they wanted. Tore through homes like they owned 'em - hell, I guess they did now. Dragged out furniture, supplies, weapons. I had to help 'n' it's made me feel sick.

Rick tried to say they'd already put aside half. Didn't matter. Wasn't his choice.

I was loadin' a chair up when Negan glanced around, then tilted his head. "Where's Maggie?"

My gut twisted. Leave her alone.

Gabriel stepped forward, calm as ever. "Would you like to pay your respects?"

Fuck. Maggie was dead.

My stomach churned, but I didn't react. Couldn't.

Not if I wanted to keep breathin'.

Negan's brows lifted. "She didn't make it?"

Rick hesitated. Shook his head. Didn't say nothin'.

Negan let out a low whistle. "Damn. And here I was, thinkin' I might wife her up." He chuckled. "Guess that ship has sailed."

Fuck.

~

I didn't know where they was takin' me till we got there.

That was the worst part.

Our bedroom. Me 'n' Ath's.

I stopped in the doorway, feelin' somethin' sharp rip through my chest.

The bed was still made, same damn way she always fixed it, the blankets tucked in like she thought it'd keep me from messin' it up. Her jacket was draped over the chair in the corner. Her spare boots lined up by the door.

Felt like she was still here.

Like if I just called her name, she'd walk through the door, fussin' at me for trackin' in dirt or leavin' my clothes everywhere.

I clenched my jaw, swallowed it down.

Wouldn't cry.

Not here. Not now.

I forced my feet to move, steppin' further inside. My fingers ghosted over the dresser, where her brush still sat. Picked it up without thinkin'. Held it like it was somethin' fragile, like maybe if I didn't let go, this wouldn't be real.

Didn't realize I was shakin' till I saw my hands tremblin'.

I dropped the brush, rubbin' a hand over my face, breathin' deep before they saw what I'd done.

My eyes burned.

Didn't let the tears fall.

Negan's voice snapped me back. "Damn, Dixon," he drawled from the doorway. "You look like a kicked puppy."

Didn't turn around. Didn't say nothin'.

Just stood there.

Breakin' apart piece by piece, before they made me lift our mattress and carry it outside. I could smell her on it. Fuck.

Negan took all of Alexandria's guns.

When we were leavin', Rick looked straight at him, voice tight. "I'd like to ask you if Daryl could stay?"

Everything in me froze.

Rick kept talkin', sayin' we'd done what they asked. We'd given 'em their damn share. He'd done everythin' Negan told him to.

Negan just grinned, turned toward me. "Well, I dunno. That ain't my call."

I felt every eye in Alexandria on me. I felt humiliated. I didn't look up.

"Daryl?" Negan smirked. "You wanna stay?"

My throat was dry. My body screamed at me to say somethin', anything.

"C'mon, buddy." Dwight stepped in, voice real damn casual. "Just say those two words."

I stayed silent.

Didn't look at Rick. Didn't look at nobody.

Negan's smirk widened, like he'd already known what my answer would be. "Well, there ya have it," he said. "Looks like Daryl ain't too eager to move back in."

Rick's jaw clenched. But he didn't push it. He couldn't.

I just stood there.

Dyin' inside.

~

By the time we got back, my chest burned from tryna keep my emotions in. Them all lookin' at me like that, bein' in mine and Ath's bedroom. It felt like it would break me.

I couldn't handle how much I longed for her. To feel her in my arms. To tell her how much I loved her.

Hadn't been back in my cell long when the door creaked open, that same damn sound that meant nothin' good was comin'.

Didn't lift my head. Didn't need to. Knew it was Dwight.

He stepped in, silent, holdin' another one of them sandwiches. The stench of dog food hit me before I even saw it.

I stared at the floor, feelin' somethin' boil up in me, somethin' mean. Somethin' hungry, but not for food.

For fightin'.

For screamin'.

For tearin' this whole goddamn place apart.

But I didn't have it in me no more.

Not really. Their twisted games were workin'.

Still, I grabbed that sandwich and threw it straight at him.

It smacked against his chest, slid to the floor.

Dwight didn't react. Just sighed like he'd been expectin' it, like he'd wanted it. Then, real slow, he reached into his pocket, pulled out a crumpled Polaroid.

Didn't say a word. Just walked to the wall, taped it up where I had to see it.

Then he turned 'round and left.

The lock clicked.

The music started up again.

And I just sat there.

Tried not to look.

Tried to pretend it weren't there.

But I felt it. Like it was breathin' down my goddamn neck.

My hands shook when I reached for it.

Didn't wanna see it.

Didn't need to see it.

But I looked anyway.

And there he was.

Hershel.

Or what was left of him.

Somethin' in me cracked wide open.

I gasped like I'd been punched, like I was the one who'd been beat to hell with that bat.

My vision blurred, my breath comin' out in ragged shudders. Tried to swallow it down, tried to push it back, but I couldn't. The first sob tore outta me before I could stop it. Then another. And another.

A fuckin' sad song voice drifted through the speakers, slow and achin', fillin' up the room like it was laughin' at me.

I was all right for a while... I could smile for a while...

I curled into myself, squeezin' my eyes shut, my fingers diggin' into my hair.

I wanted Ath. Needed her.

I didn't feel like I could do it no more.

It felt like the me I knew was dyin'.

A/N: I Felt like more insight into Daryl at the Sanctuary was needed. ❤️