33. Stacks

Chapter 33 - Stacks

 

   The next day, I don't think I ever felt so miserable. I hid in my blankets and cried for a good portion of the day. School was just a distance thought while Alex was a persistent thought that kept bringing up memories that I greatly wanted to shut down. It was all impossible to keep the volume down on my thoughts. They were so loud to the point I'm sure the nearest mental ward would be calling a complaint of how intense the level of it was.

     My bed was a total wreck was the least to say. Blankets after blankets were piled everywhere and papers too. I've finally found myself writing my heart out once again. Hopefully this time my privacy of my papers won't be ripped away from me.

      It was only until noon when I decided to be adventurous. I walked out of my room with my body being hugged by a warm blanket. My fuzzy blue socks caused a squeaking noise every dragging step I took towards down stairs.

    Thankfully, Uncle Gabe finally finished his business here and left. I read the Sunday's newspaper; the man who supposedly killed Kenzie happened to be innocent.

     At this point I didn't care; however, all I ever wanted was for Kenzie to rest in peace for once. Her killer was still out there, living and breathing, while she was dead. It was simply not fair at all. Here we were my family a wreck after all these years.

      I walked down stairs carefully, making sure I wasn’t seen by Derek or my father. My stomach had no appetite for anything at all once I got into the kitchen.

      My father was sitting at the table, drinking out of a coffee cup and on his laptop, writing his book I assumed. My legs somehow carried me to sit down near him. It was bold of me; but everything I do now seems bold and out of character.

    With another sip of his hot beverage, he spoke. “You should assume you’re grounded.”

    It took every restraint not to roll my eyes at the obvious, however, I refrained from doing so.

    “Derek’s boyfriend is here, maybe once he leaves, you should apologize to Derek.” He nonchalantly said.

     My pulse quicken at the sudden realization that Caleb was less than a few feet away from me. Worst of all, Alex couldn’t protect me.

     My heart clenched from my latest thoughts and now all I wanted to do was just crawl back into my bed. Really, I should be in school, getting good grades, and applying to colleges.

    I was graduating less than four months. It was disturbing that I will be officially on with my life in only less than the given time. I had so much to think about and to do and yet here I sat in this silence between my father and I, doing completely nothing but mope about a boy that I fallen for.

     I knew this was going to happen. Ever since the day Alex should up in my life, I already foresaw this, me being careless in my studies all because of a boy, which was now becoming true.

    I groaned loudly and marched myself all the way back to my room.

       For the next hour, I stared at my phone with my finger on the select button, which if I pressed, it would dial Alex. Despite my life crisis state, I had a small piece of dignity left to not call him, crying for him to come back.

    I was sleep deprived for the night and then the next day, I wasn’t much better.

My mind and body were both in complete agony. It was more than just missing him. It was knowing he and me were never going to be able to repair the mess we created. We could if we tried but things between him and I was never going to be the same.

   For the rest of the day, I stayed in my bed, screamed for a good portion of it, just trying to release some of the anger that I’ve been storing.

    The next day, my father showed up in my room, giving me a stack of papers.

   “What’s that?” I breathlessly said, thinking of the impossible of maybe it’s my writing.

   He stood there in my room, hesitating a little. He shifted on his feet a little until he handed me the stack of papers.

     I couldn’t believe that this was happening. It felt like it was all a dream. The papers were the same writing that I spilled my thoughts onto until they were ripped away from me.

      My father was talking but I zoned him out from being in complete shock from what he just gave back to me. I was almost positive that this act was out of pity but I didn’t seem to care. I got my papers back and that made me somewhat happy.

   I probably would have been happier if Alex and I were still together, but one thing at a time.

     Jumping up from my bed, I wrapped my arms around my father. He seemed relieved. I could tell by how his muscles became less tight and his breathing was more in order.

    The warming embrace had ended and he left out the door, leaving me to look through the stack. 

     It only made me feel awful more than it should have. A lot of the writing was about Alex. I should have known. I had so many warnings alerting me to not get involved with him, yet here I am months later, broken.

My father and brother had warned me frequently but I pushed that to the side. Why did I do that? I would I disregard my own family who I trusted greatly?

Maybe some things in this world I will never be able to understand, and this was one of them.

While flipping through the countless papers, a folded letter fell out of place. Folding it, I realized it was an old letter from Alex.

Letter #145

Laila Rose,

Holy Hell, I hate school or do I just hate everything besides you? I honestly believe these letters are getting more cheesier by every letter.

Stop this epidemic, Laila. 

I have practice tonight, care to join? 

Although you and I have tons of homework because of old fat man. Too bad I didn't pay attention in class today...maybe we should have a study date ;)

- AWG

   For the rest of the week, I stayed home, doing nothing besides crying, moping, and blasting my music. Here was the thing about the music, I had to listen to Spanish bands. Only because if I played the radio, I was bound to hear a song that was going to remind me of Alex, and for that reason, I can't listen to my favorite songs like I used to.

    Alex made no attempt to call me or message me. Not even my AOL had any notifications. It was torching to know he didn't care. That our four month relationship, which has felt like decades, was a total waste.

    Perhaps not a waste considering the portion of our time was well spent but it still all hurts to know that he just doesn't care and hasn't bothered with calling me.

My thoughts were interrupted by a pounding noise, coming from downstairs. The sound kept getting louder and louder. Whoever it was, it must have been important.  

    Quickly, I dragged myself out of bed and downstairs. For a second, I got excited, thinking it was Alex returning.

   But I was gladly mistaken.

     With one swift turn of the door knob, I was greeted by a person who I never wanted to see or hear from but yet here he was on my doorsteps while I’m home alone.

Caleb, panting and out of breath, with his nose bleeding and bruises forming, was in front of me

“It-It’s A-Alex,” He panted. “I swear I didn’t mean to,” 

___________

a.n

I hate how short this chapter is ugh. School has really slowed me down and it sucks so much. But thank you so much for 25k reads! 

How have you guys been doing? I hope y'all are doing good x

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Chapter dedication; MCR_baby_ (you win yourself a free Alex Gaskarth)

 - Kc Oct. 19 2014

(For my WFTT readers, I have something coming for you guys. Keep your eyes out on my message board, I'll be posting in a bit x)