22. Impulsive

a.n - This chapter contains a bit of blood and etc. You'll realize when it comes, so please don't read the slightest part if you know it will trigger you. Privately message me if you'd like a brief summary of it, or message me if you just need anyone to talk to :) <3

Chapter 22 - Impulsive

   The tears in eyes showed a different emotion from the gritting of my teeth. Hurt, and utterly angry flooded in me. All of my written hard worked papers completely ripped from their privacy and scattered on the floor, my bed, and my desk. This made my blood run cold with the word 'vandalized' circulating in my head.

    Derek and Dad's jaw both dropped, probably not expecting to get caught in the act. Derek's hand unclutched the wad of my papers, and slowly they fell to the floor.

   "Laila," Dad cautiously said, taking a small step closer. His hand is carefully raised, almost as if he was thinking I'd do something.

   Feeling beyond betrayed, I take a step away from them. My fists still yet to remain to my side. I was almost certain that blood might be withdrawal due to the harshness of my nails digging into the palm of my hands.

   "It's not what it looks." He had softness in his voice that made me wonder what truly was going on.

   All the papers that they went through, they held so many of my personal thoughts, desires, and emotions. Including, Alex. That's who I ever wrote about now it felt like, and knowing the fact that Derek and Dad now knew, it made me almost sick to my stomach. Every single structured sentence, word, and all of my deepest thoughts, completely seen by them, and they were all consumed by Alex.

   This was terribly bad, and I knew his voice was too calm after reading what I had wrote. Besides that, I was outraged by the fact they had the nerve to go through my personal things.

  "Bullshit!" I screamed. Pushing on my father's chest, he had no idea that it was coming. The kicking of my legs and my arms aimlessly being thrown everywhere had hit my dad, for the very first time out of my whole life, I had hit my dad out of anger that I never knew I had in me.

   Of course, I've been angry before, but not this type of one. With my screams piercing their ears and mine, Derek got a grip of me and pushed me away. The room began to take a spin and for a second, I was positive I was about to pass out from the heat surging through me now.

    My veins popped out of my skin, and my fists still trying to connect to whatever. My father regained his balance quickly. Some spots on his face were already turning to a disorientation color of purples and an ugly brown.

   The ragged breathing of mine filled the room, along with the people I had once trusted. My father's eyes held sorrow, with the way his bags hung underneath the  and when he licked his chapped lips - speechless, I'm sure he is. I felt Derek's grip become loose; I took this time to run - once again.

    With my legs burning from the adrenaline rush, I make it out the door with my name being hollered over and over again.

   The awful wind had picked up, whipping my face while I ran down the street. They were getting closer, but with my legs speeding by, I knew I could easily lose them.

   It was already turning night, and the chilling weather caused my lungs to sting as my heavy breaths grew rapidly. My surroundings passed me in one big blur, and the sound of my name was being vacuumed up - it was there, but fading.

  I was dripping sweat, but I knew better to not to stop. My legs had taken me to wherever due to my mind being clouded and all of my gut feelings being taking over with emotions; anger, being the first, and utterly upset, then came in the love I had for Alex, and wishing to be with him.

   But my legs somehow mercilessly carried me to a random deserted bus stop, after running possibly five miles. My weak knees fell down onto the freezing metal of the seat. The dirty lights hanging above were flickering, and weren't helping me with trying to see the street sign.

Useless, I waited. For what? I was still unsure myself.

   The pounding of my heart was unsteady and kept ringing through my ears, making it difficult to concentrate on what had happened. Goosebumps formed on my skin despite sweating and all the running I had done. Of course, I left my jacket on one of the coldest nights of November.

   Suddenly, a glow of headlights comes into my direction. For a second I prayed it was help, but to my loss, it was the bus coming to its schedule stop.

   The roar of the engine became closer, rushing air to my face even more while it was in reaching distance. I raised my hand over my eyes that were blinded by the shinning lights. Squealing of the tires had stopped, I didn't think about it any further.

I took a cautious step, seeking over to see if there was anyone on the bus. There was a punk in the back, an African woman, and a business man. Giving my change to the bus driver was easy with my trembling hands, but asking him where this bus was taking me was harder. Impossible actually, my vocals just couldn't do it. Especially with the amount of anxiety already built up within me, and my bones stiffed as could be.

   The coldness of the window felt good on my head when I lay against it after taking a seat. I was emotionally drained and my wearily eyes felt like they had weights tugging on them. My mind couldn't take the rush of thoughts of having war between each other.

   Just by the whiff of the air surrounding me made me cringe and only made me hold myself tighter. There was gum sticking to the back of the seat in front of me, and the amount of dirt that was clear to see scared me at the thought of all the dirt that I couldn't see. But I had more things to worry about anyhow.

   It was inevitable when sleep took over my mind, I was exhausted, and had little strength left in me.

.:.:.:.:.:.

   My aching body took a harsh jolt, waking me up from the movement. At first I had no clue to where I was, but when the smell of the nasty air and the rows of seats before me hit my senses, I realized where I was.

   With just one glance out of my window, I see towering buildings, and everything else was just blackness. This all was frightening and it was best to get off here.

   Once I was off, alone and cold, I was shaking terribly. I was in the heart of Baltimore, and with my luck, the bad side of it.

   I could feel the lurkers creeping around in the unilluminated allies while my feet dragged across the damp sidewalk, passing by stores that were gated up, and other office buildings as far as I could tell. Holding myself close with my arms tightly around me, I jumped out of my skin when a startling sound screeched into my ears.

"Holy shit," I said breathlessly, relieved it was a stray cat skulking around who ran into a miscellaneous trash bin.

   My shadow followed me by my side as I walked pass the yellow lights of the streets, it was quite dead here. No one around me, just me, all alone to myself. I couldn't tell if I liked being here all alone with no one around rather than having a side walk filled with pedestrians.

    But strangely, there was something telling me over and over again to not let my paranoid-self let its guard down. My wandering eyes were alert, looking at everything possible looking at my way.

   I hastily turn around when I felt a shadow pass around me, and fearful tears began to immerge from my eyes. There was of course nothing to see but the flickering of another broken street light that gave off a yellow tint.

   Sighing, I walked more. My steps were unsteady with my knees about to knock out. The dark night felt incredibly depressing alone, but with the anxiety holding in me, I needed someone.

  And that someone, I had a person in mind for that. It wasn't Derek, or my dad. It was Alex.

   I needed Alex right now, this instant. To have his warmth of his hug, caressing my body with his intoxicating smell slowly getting me high. I could see myself breaking down in tears if he did just that in this given moment. I could imagine him whispering sweet words into my ear, telling me that everything would be okay, and to take a breath and let the rest come easy.

   Whimpering at the thought of him and wishing he was here, I was impuissant. Utterly vulnerable and just simply stuck. Confused on what to do, I didn't even have my phone and no money for a payphone.

   "I need you, Alex." I whispered. Surely I was going crazy while I walked down the lonely street, freezing, and with nerve-wracking thoughts.

  I sit down, no longer able to walk any further. I knew it was a dumb move, but at this point, why does it even matter.

    A group of teenagers passed me, the girls in the group were in high heels that looked like they could kill and wore these short dresses. And the boys wore baggy jeans and tank tops - the group looked like they just came from a club. They didn't even knowledge me while they were chattering among their selves.

   I pulled my knees closer to my chin once they passed me, it would have been useless even if I stopped them for help.

   This was a first, being alone in the city. Nothing to my name and had no way back to home. I thought about Alex when the thought of home passed my mind. I loved him, and he was surely my new home now. Where ever he could ever possibly be, that's home for me.

   A tear escaped, trickling down my rosy cheek, it was a burden to be in love like this. The constant thoughts of Alex whole being, what he might be doing, or even how he's doing, and knowing that this boy could destroy my emotional stable ability.

   He was different unlike others, and it was refreshing to know someone like him. Along with having someone in my life that I can trust other than Derek and Dad, it was incredible to have him. Words possibly couldn't describe of how much I loved him, and wished for him to be here. He was special.

   But I knew that I wouldn't be here in the city if it wasn't for one thing. If I hadn't written about Alex in those papers, would I've been less anger when I saw them going through them, terrorizing the thoughts of mine?

   And Kenzie, couldn't she get peace? It's been ten years, nearly eleven. This was almost like awakening the dead. I thought the media attention had gone to its grave years ago, but clearly, it's back.

   My heart throbbed with my bones aching, and the massive headache was unbearable. Clouds rolled in, covering the beauty of the stars.

   Unaware until know, I notice a beat up car slowly creeping up, the head lights illumining the street ahead of it The roar of the engine disturbed the peaceful silence I had endured moments ago.

  I narrowed my eyes and tried to stay calm, it was just an innocent driver, right?

Wrong, I thought.

  The car hauled and the driver side door swung open, and here came a silhouette running full force towards my direction.

   My mouth is hung opened, trying to scream or just any noise at all, but my vocals just couldn't let me. The unknown fear of the mysterious person surged through my body, and once the shadow came close, I'm left to just use my legs and arms to defend myself, here all alone, to see no one witness whatever was about to happen.

"Fuck! Laila, it's me!" His tight grip held my wrist before they could do any more damage.

Rian. It was Rian.

  "Dammit, Laila, we're all worried fucking sick about you." He let go, and wrapped his arms around me.

  I let go of the breath I was holding in for so long, and took Rian's body within mine. It wasn't Alex's, but Rian's will do for now while I broke down.

   Rian's heavy jacket comforted me as he sat next to me, giving him to me for my tears. My strong grip on his jacket never let go, and the noise around us filled with my muffled sobs, the police sirens in the distance, and the buzzing of the closest street light.

  One of his hands was gently tangled in my hair, the other wrapped around my waist.

   "I don't think you understand the depth of everyone being worried." He said into my ear after a deathing silence while I soaked his jacket. "I should call Alex,"

Everyone? Alex? They knew? And who was in this group of 'everyone'.

  God, I wish this wasn't happening. This wasn't supposed to happen.

   Normally, I wouldn't do this with anyone, but with the exception of Alex. But with Rian, I was in need of a lasting hug. Our embrace was good, but nowhere close to Alex's.

  "Yeah, I found her. We're on South Street, next to those sketchy shops," Rian spoke, still letting my head rest on his chest. "Yes, she's fine," He paused. "physically."

  He was right. Physically I was fine, but emotionally? I was drained.

  Hanging up, he heavily sighed. "You know, you've got Alex on something I've never seen him like before."

  My head perked up a little, wanting to hear more.

  "Sure he has his problems. But damn, Laila, I've never seen him like this. Something about him, he's changed somehow. But for the good, and I think it might have to deal with you."

  I smiled from his sweet words that gave the awful feeling in my stomach a little ease.

   Shortly, another car pulled up, and it was the familiar black car I've rode in multiple times - Alex's.

   He left his engine on and didn't bother to close his door. Rian let go of me and stood up, leaving me cold. I couldn't bring myself to look at Alex. Pulling my knees to my chin, I stuffed my head deep within my arms, blocking out all the sounds around.

"I got her. Thank you so much, Rian, I owe you one."

"No problem, I'll leave you two be."

   The steps of Rian grew faint, and his car engine did was well after a short minute or two. I waited impatiently for Alex to take action. Knowing him, he must be trying to figure out how to approach as if I'm a broken angel.

   Finally, his touch met my skin, bringing sparks, gentle and loving. My crying came back, and caused my breathing to hitch.

  "Laila," His raspy voice, thick and ragged, sent chills through my body. "Look at me, please, Angel."

    I force myself to look at him, with the little light we had, I notice his bloodshot eyes that were glassed. It took everything within me not to look the other way, just by the fact of knowing I caused this - Guilt.

  My breathing was cripplingly in and out and his too, so close we were. Our faces inches away, my chest pressed against his, and the arms of his wrapped securely around me with my hands tangled in the back of his hair.

  "Don't ever do that," He sternly said, but his voice was strained. His hand crept behind my head, allowing me to rest my chin on his shoulder blade.

  The scent of his, that I longed for, was inhaled greatly by me.

"Promise me, dammit Laila,"

  I wasted no time. "Promise." I said, faintly.

  "C'mon, let's get you in the car," He picked me up easily, acting like I had broken my legs, little did he thought they were very much functional although happened to be weak from running like I did.

   I knew I had to explain somehow while we sat in his car, he didn't say a word, neither did I. The buzzing of his dead radio kept anything from being still.

  My thoughts led me to Kenzie, and the non-stopping dreams that terrify my mind almost every night.

"Kenzie," I whispered.

  Alex nodded his head, knowing already that was what her name was.

  "She was my sister, perfect grades, perfect looks, and I think she had a perfect boyfriend as well. It happened when I was in first grade so my memory is splotchy, but I'm pretty sure she had the perfect boyfriend. But that doesn't matter anyways," I leaned my head on the head rest. Taking a deep breath, I wanted to share my nightmare that happened to be my reality to him, actually, I needed to. It was time to tell someone, anyone. And I very much rather have it to be Alex.

   Run! Run! My mother screaming ringed through my ears. It was the dead of the night, but my little legs carried me, following Kenzie, seeing her blonde hair flying behind her from how fast she was running.

  Run! Run! My grip upon something caused me to stop - I didn't know what it was. The thumbing of my heart vacuumed out any other noise possible. My surroundings turned still, freezing into slow motion while my mind tried to get a grip of reality.

  Run! Run! The piercing screech escaping from Kenzie's mouth snapped me out of my train of thoughts. The blood scattered on the white carpet made my jaw drop. My mother's screams turned unbearable to hear as Kenzie took her last breath. Her chest barely moving up and down like any normal human, with cuts too deep, and her purple blouse ruined by the color of red. I was absolutely mortified from the sight of her.

Run! Run!

"Holy shit," Alex breathlessly said, grabbing my body tightly.

   It felt like I let the weight of the world off my shoulders. I haven't told anyone that, not even Dad, he just knew I had the night terrors.

   "I'm so fucking sorry," He snuggled his face into my neck. The sweetness of this moment, I wished I could hold on to forever.

"There's no need to be sorry" I said, sighing.

   For the rest of the remaining time, we drove around after that. Kept the radio quiet - Say it Ain't So by Weezer had recently been played conveniently.

  His hand was in mine, seemingly never letting go.

   The street lights we passed only let me see his beautiful face only when we cruised by them. He wore a red jumper and sweatpants, along with converse.

   He looked like he rolled out of bed. He probably did.

  The pang in my heart caused me to take ahold of Alex's bicep. "H-how did you know?" I stammered.

  He grimly shifted in his seat, suddenly looking uncomfortable. I waited impatiently to know the answer. This reminded me of the time I had asked about his parents in the car, and dropped the subject because of his body language told me enough.

  His hand slipped out of mine and placed on the steering wheel while the other arm of his that was once in control of the wheel was prompt up on the window of his door.

  The poker face he tried to hold wasn't fooling me.

  "How does your dad know my parents?" He asked.

  "No," I boldly said. "give me the full story of what happened."

After minutes of silence, he spoke.

  He told me that he left back to his apartment after dropping me off, even though it took everything of him to leave. He tried to get sleep somehow - that explained his attire. But he laid awake with me on his thoughts that were soon interrupted by his phone.

   "They haven't called me in a year, so I didn't know what to even do. Maybe it was the vulnerable state I was in that caused me to answer, knowing little to nothing of what was going on with you." He licked his chapped lips. "Damn I'm so happy that I picked up but hearing that you were gone ripped my heart out."

   I stayed silent. This time, it was because I chose to, not my body's choice.

   "I called up Rian, Jack, and Zack. They all went searching while I drove to your house. Your dad told me he needed to me." He said the last words in a low whispered, still shocked, and I was just the same.

Shocked, because for once, my dad needed Alex.

    "Somehow your dad knew my parents, who knows how they do, and that was the only way your dad could think of how to get a hold of me somehow."

    I shook my head, still trying to take a full gasp of the words that hit me like a truck in my heart. The tears in my eyes were hard to hold back. I felt guilty of my unexplained actions that have left us up to this.

    We carried on with riding around the city, silent it was after Alex called my dad - stating to him that I was fine and will be with him for tonight. The humming of Alex merely put me to sleep, I couldn't make out what he was humming to, but whatever it was, it put me to ease.

    Something was telling me that Alex might be angry at me for what I did. I don't blame him if he was. I'd be angry if Alex pulled something off like what I did tonight.

   "Alex," I murmured.

   "Hmm?"

   "Are you mad at me?" My voice was hardly even there, strained and about to give up.

   "This frustrates me because I could never stay mad at you." He said

   "And why's that?"

   "I'm your fool, Laila Rose." He smirked slightly as I could tell from the passing street light. It warmed my heart to hear him say that, and what a relief it was. "But enough with that. My bud and his band are playing at a local small venue around here tonight, care to attend?"

  "Yeah I could use a little distraction."

    Shortly, we were pulling up to a brick building. The sound from it was roaring outside, with teenagers smoking near the entrance, and others with plastic cups in their hands. Some were punks, others looking grunge.

   "Stay with me," Alex wrapped his arm around my waist protectively as we walked up.

   Once we entered, it was something I've never seen or experience before. I have never been the one to like large gatherings, but being with Alex, I was perfectly okay with it.

   There were sweaty bodies colliding into each other, strobe lights shooting off from the stage, and the room filled with smog. The booming of the speakers amplified the guitar riffs being played and the slapping of the bass.

   Alex pushed through the body of people, to get a good look of the stage. The music they were playing was wonderful, filling my ears and allowing my lungs to feel free.

   I couldn't bring my ear-to-ear smile into a straight line, neither could Alex. The pushing of everyone caused Alex and me to be hip to hip, but of course I didn't mind. Being this close with Alex was comforting along with extraordinary happiness surging in my veins.

   The way Alex looked, cheeks flushed from the heat, his hair tousled, and his big ole smile. With his hand being placed on my lower back, and our bodies connected to each other, leaving not even an inch between us.

   My lips smashed on to his, with the desire of so much more. Everything around us seemed to freeze when I focused on the sweetness of the kiss. Alex finally got a grip of the surprising action I did. The taste of him put me in a haze, wanting it absolutely more. My hands traveled up to his neck while his hands were firmly and dangerously on my lower back.

   He deepened the kiss, his tongue finding its way through my lips. With the atmosphere being like it was, with the beating of the drums, the smog, and the people all around us having a good time, it made me feel like I was floating in midair with him.

   Without a second to react, his lips moved down to my neck, nibbling my ear before placing wet kisses on my skin. His hips were grounded on to mine, nearly grinding from the shoving occurring around us.

  The soft moan that was muffled from him was noticeable by me. I took it as a compliment with the now obvious and touching against my thigh that was without a doubt growing. My hands sneaked down to his waist band, teasing him a little.

   Although this was risky behavior, no one around us noticed, until the lead singer did.

   "Look at that couple getting it on!" He laughed into the mic.

   I pushed Alex away from me, embarrassed that we were somewhat 'caught' and now everyone's eyes were on us. Alex didn't seem too happy by the interruption but played it cool.

   "Woah, Alex Gaskarth?" The lead singer squinted his eyes to get a better look. "It's nice to see you came out! You've been M.I.A in the scene these past months." He chuckled.

   I hastily turned around to see Alex while the lead singer changed the topic, something about the next song they were about to play.

"Dick," He grumbled a little.

   He didn't look the slightest embarrassed, as to me, who probably was blushing like mad. The smirk on his face made me want to playfully slap him, he was clearly mocking at me for how I reacted. I was mortified from the fact everyone in this crowd knew what we were doing, besides, it looked like kissing right? Well, it was kissing after all, just a little heated, that's all.

   "Relax," His raspy voice did that thing again, sending chills all over my body. "this crowd isn't like school, they're, us in some ways. And I highly doubt anyone from school is here." The reassuring from him made me calm down, but still, Alex and I's relationship was only going up from here. Every day building strong with emotional connections, and physical too.

   After spending only God knows how many hours of listening to the music and being stuck together like glue because of the crowd, we walked back to his car.

   The clouds rolled in, lightning stuck in the distance. I wished so badly to see the stars, oh how I loved them so much.

  “There’s so much beauty,” Alex gazed at the sky.

  “Of what?” I was skeptical of what he could be talking about.

   “Storms. They’re beautiful. The sky is crying while being terribly angry."

   “I rather see the stars.” I huffed.

   Suddenly, when I looked back at Alex, he was lighting a cigarette between his teeth.

   “Alex!” I frowned. Shocked to see him doing this for the first time. “Since when did you smoke?” I retorted.

   “Since when did you start taking off and getting on a metro bus to the city?” He shot back, letting out a puff of smoke.

    Although I hated cigarettes because for one obvious reason, they killed, but seeing Alex smoke was hot. I never liked seeing people smoke, I personally thought it was disgusting, but with Alex shoulders hunched and the way he held the stick confidently was incredibly hot. His jawline was prominent with each buff of smoke filling into the air.

I shook my head, this bastard…

   It was only until one a.m when Alex and I arrived back to his apartment, drained from the spontaneous decision of going to the indie concert.

   My bones ached and my legs were completely weak, barely keeping me up. Alex gave me a towel and wash cloth, teaching me how to turn on the shower.

   Before undressing, he left, mumbling something about food.

    I got in after checking if it was hot enough. The water hit my skin, easing my tense shoulders and back. With the down pour running down my body, wetting my hair, I grabbed his shampoo. The intoxicating scent filled the foggy heated air. It was the wonderful smell always lingering around Alex, and that crazy head of hair of his.

    Gently scrubbing the shampoo into my hair, I had a tender smile despite my sore body. Even though I was going to be in big trouble at home, and the fact the Kenzie wasn't resting in peace was still in the back of my mind, I still had Alex, who happened to be the only source of light leading me through this dark time.

   I stepped out of the shower once I'm finished, wrapping the towel around myself. Grabbing the clothes placed on the counter, Alex must have slipped in here to drop them off. Honestly, I didn't mind it at all that he did, despite being completely naked only a footstep away when he did.

   After getting into the comfortable sweatpants and clean flannel, I walk out into the kitchen to find Alex had made toasted bagels with peanut butter spread on them.

    "I'm going to take a quick shower, I made these for you, I mean, you don't have to eat them if you don’t, I just, assumed you might want them, because after what happened."

   "Alex," I stopped his rambling. "thank you, I'm starved, now go get a shower." I cheekily take a bite out of my bagel, while he let out a breath, and went on his way.

  The bagels were good. The melted peanut butter hit the spot. But now, I laid on Alex's bed, waiting for his return. It took everything within me not to shut my eyes, I needed to thank him for tonight, and all of what he's done, plus, I just wanted to see him before I went to sleep.

   My body jolted when he unexpectedly walked through, with a towel wrapped loosely around his waist. Dripping wet, and whistling some type of rock song, he made his way to his dresser. He was oblivious to me gawking at him. Oh how I wanted to run my hands through his hair, better yet down his damn body. God this boy, I swear...

   "I can practically feel your eyes burning on me," He said, glancing at me through the corner of his eye. I could tell me was smirking. I tear my eyes away from him, embarrassed that I was caught. "I'm joking, Laila. It's okay, I don't mind."

   I looked back at him. He already had boxers on, and was slipping on a red tight fitting shirt.

   Once turning off the lights, he got into the sheets, the warmth from him was already soothing and I wanted to be closer with him. His arm snaked over my stomach, keeping him close.

   "Thank you, Alex." I said, but the words did little justice of how much I appreciated him.

   "There's no need to thank me," His breath tickled down my neck, his mouth inches away from mine.

   "But there is," I tugged on him a little, pulling his lips onto mine, not wanting to hear him being humble any longer. His lips were soft and tender, but the kiss grew deeper with temptation. My hands lay on his wet hair as his kept pressure on my hips.

   There he lay right next to me, kissing me deeply and desperately. He tasted like cigarette smoke, but I didn't care, as long as I had him.

   The helm of my shirt crept up, exposing my midriff. My mouth opened for the entrance of his tongue, slightly sloppy, but at this point, I didn't care, and I wanted more.

   It felt almost dangerous doing this, being on his bed and laying close to one another. But whatever was coming towards our way, I was more than willingly.

    His hands roamed my stomach, making me squirm with anticipation. I nearly whimpered from the lost touch of his lips, but quickly recovered when they placed hot kisses down my neck. Sucking on my skin as he did, my insides had become wet, and pleading for something else.

This was all a new experience, and I didn't want to make myself a fool, but I decided against it and went along.

   My hands raked down his muscular back, keeping him still close to my side. The humming from his lips caused a soft moan in the deeps of my throat, luckily he didn't notice - or just didn't care.

   Sadly, he pulled away, breathing heavy. "I-I don't want to do anyth-" He stammered until I smashed my lips onto his to shut him up. The kiss was a sign of me saying yes.

    I nearly squealed when his hand was dangerously close to the waistband of my sweatpants. The heated touch made me need him, and caused me to moan.

   "Alex," I panted against his lips. His hands went further, under the fabric.

   My mind was spinning from the nerve wracking event spilling out. I closed my eyes shut when his hand reached to my panties.

   His swollen lips traveled to my ear while his hand lay still on top of my underwear.

   "How do you touch yourself?" His words were dirty, making me arch my back with a muffled moan from the back of my throat.

   "I-I don't." I shyly said, wanting to question why he even asked the embarrassing question.

   "Then how am I supposed to know how to make you feel good?" His finger began to move in a circular motion on my bud against the fabric. "Huh?" He said breathlessly against me.

   I was speechless, my insides were begging for more. The teasing pleasure sent euphoria throughout me. His touch sending chilling waves, causing me to gain more wetness.

   Clamping my thighs shut from Alex's hand teasing me more, he grunted and pushed my legs open for more access. His finger stopped the teasing act, and slowly crept up to the seams of my lacy undergarment.

My breathing hitched and the pulse of my heart was rapidly thumbing against my chest. I bucked my hips when his hand slipped through the fabric, the hot touch was teasingly sliding up and down my entrance.

   His lips nibbled on my ear, "You're so wet for me." The thick hoarsed whisper from him made me moan, the way he spoke and how he lay right next to me.

   Rubbing gently on my most sensitive spot, he softly kissed my temple.

    This was all new and a feeling I never felt before, but now that I was full aware of all of this, my body was pleading for more of him.

    The sensation of his fingers going faster had me dripping wet. I could feel his erection against my thigh, but with being so speechless and too wrapped up in the motion of his long fingers, I didn't do anything to help him with that.

   Finally, he entered one finger in me. The pleasure made me buck my hips once more as he began to pump in and out.

   Both our breathing was unsteady and heavy, my mouth completely dropped with his lips connecting to my jaw.

    While he kept a steady pace on his finger, his thumb rolled harshly onto my sensitive swollen bud.

   "God you're so beautiful." He whispered.

   I was glad it was dark, my face surely flushed with red as ever.

   My hands clutched the bed sheets as the building up of my release started to become near. I struggled to gain a breath, my moaning was uncontrollable.

   Alex's touch became quicker. He must have realized I was close.

    The building in the pit of my stomach was unstoppable while he thrust his finger again and again.

   "That's it, Angel." He coaxed. His finger hit my most sensual spot within me. My insides clenching around him while he hit my g-spot again and again.

   With my toes curling and my grip on the bed sheets tightening, he hit the same spot once again.

    Then, I came undone. Moaning his name, the euphoria surged through my body, and my insides releasing over his finger.

      My lungs take in a deep breath, opening freely, while Alex slipped his hand out my panties.

   "God, Alex." I said breathlessly. My chest moved up and down, struggling to keep steady.

   He smirked a little, the shinning moon outside the window allowed me to see it.

    Alex shuffled off the bed, and got a fresh pair of boxers out of the drawer. "You might need these." He chucked, giving them to me. I blushed, he was right.

   I got off his bed to head to the bathroom until his voice stopped me in my tracks.

"Just change in here, why walk all the way into the living to get to the bathroom." He deviously said.

   Heavily sighing, I take off my sweatpants. It was dark enough for him to not see me in full detail anyways.

   After changing, I hopped back in bed. My head laid on his chest with my leg wrapped around his waist. I felt emotionally close with him ever than before, and my love for him only grew bigger tonight if that was even possible.

   His hand lay innocently on my back, in a circling motion. He hummed another song that allowed me to slowly doze off.

   I knew right there and then that Alex was the only one for me. He seemed to understand me fully inside and out. Didn't question too many things, kept me happy, allowed me laugh more than I have ever in my life, and for that, I knew I couldn't lose him.

  It terrified me, and for the fact he knew me too well, meant one thing as well. That one thing kept an anxious pit in me, and something I tried to deny from the beginning.

   Before I closed my eyes, and let my mind turn unconscious, I knew that Alex was right about my medication, I was indeed, impulsive.

_______

a.n

Sorry for any mistakes x

SO HOW DID YOU ENJOY THE FEEL ROLLER COASTER AHHHHHHH GO VOTE AND COMMENT BECAUSE LAILEX FEEL 

And summer officially ended. I go back to school this following Monday. Does anyone have tips for high school?

Chapter dedication; fuentabulous-barakat <3 She's translating The Remembering into French! So cool! :)

-Kc August 16, 2014

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