12. Night Terrors

Chapter 12 - Night Terrors

   The consequences of what I would have to face from doing this raced in my mind as I forced my legs to sprint as fast as they could. I hardly remembered Alex's directions to his apartment but I was so determined to get there, even in the dark. 

   I was more than just terrified. So many scenarios could occur, so many options of how I could approach this. It was overwhelming.  My lungs were about to give up, hustling to push air in and out. The freezing atmosphere spending uncomfortable chills down my back. 

Now this was impulsive.

    My eyes were still producing tears and my mouth ran dry. None of this felt real. How was I even able to sneak out of this house like I did? And how was I even still running? I didn't even know myself.  

  But I knew one thing for sure, it was my burning passion to see Alex that had driven me this far to the point I didn't want to stop, especially from how close I was to his apartment. 

   Taking another left turn down the street, it was all becoming familiar to me despite the night making me almost blind to the real world.

With everything pitch dark, my adrenaline rush was vanishing.  My knees began to ache and my eyes were burning from the salty tears that trickled down my cheek. But finally, I was in front of the brick building, the same building of where his apartment was located.

   Before I enter the two doors, I breathe in and out, catching my breath as a sob fled from my lips. This was going to be harder than I had predicted. However, I walked into the lobby, my back scrunched over, and my head dizzy.

      My feet dragged against the green carpet to the elevator. I was greeted by what made my heart plummet to the ground. 'OUT OF ORDER', it read.

   This had made the bones inside me tighten from the unexpected inconvenience. My tired body took each step up the flight of stairs with what felt like the weight of the world on my shoulders.  I was fed up with the night already. My tears were unstoppable and my legs were rapidly losing strength after running for how long I did. I was dehydrated and just wanted to go back to my bed, but my mind was telling me to see him.

   The stairway was hardly lit, and the horrendous stink was unbearable. The railings had something clear slime on it, which definitely did not help my situation.

 Once I arrived to the correct floor, I pushed the exit door open that had a large letter of 'C' nailed on it, leading me into the dreadful narrow hallway. I used the paper thin walls to lean on, guiding me to the only door that I ever wanted to see so desperately.

   I stood at the darken door with 'C5' engraved into it, raising my fist, while thinking over and over again of how this could turn out. I had no plan what so ever, my only plan was just to see Alex and apologize. The journal entry that he had written was something else. I was still trying to process it fully. I had never had a boy think about me in that way. It was no wonder why I constantly had butterflies in my stomach.

   But what if Alex didn't want to do anything with me anymore? What if he was done with me and wanted to move on? With one big breath in and out, I bang my hand on the door.

   My left leg was uncontrollably shaking as I waited. My hearted pounded in my chest when the door creaked open. He stood there without anything to say, along with me being purely voiceless. All I noticed was his tousled hair and a half a bottle of whiskey left. His deep chocolate eyes are blood shot red, and it made my body ache just at the sight of them. His vulnerability was on display right in front of me.

     At this point, I couldn't stop myself to wrap my arms around him, tears streaming down my face as I let out a muffled sob on to his shirt.

      It took Alex a minute to realize what was truly going on, but once he did, his arms slide around my waist. Everything was in slow motion, like a clock being watched, time froze.

   His scent was comfort to my aching anxiety, every bone within me felt relieved. I no longer cared about my sweaty self and the fact that my legs could give out any second, as long as I had Alex, I was going to be okay.

"Fuck, Laila. How did you get here?" His voice was demanding, but I knew it was because he cared about me.

  I removed my head away from the crook of his neck, looking up at him. "I'm so sorry." I scarcely choked.

"Laila," He warned me. "how did you get here?"

"I ran." I bumbled under my breath, already knowing his protectiveness just might kick in.

   "You know what could happen to you at this time of night?" His touch vanished from my cold body. He allowed me to enter before closing the door, the hearing of locks being secured sounded off behind me.

  "Come on," His hand lied on my lower back, guiding me to the couch. I sat down, watching him put the glass bottle on the kitchen counter. He rubbed his closed eyelid harshly, letting out a groan.

   "What fucking happen to the 'I never want to see you again', huh?" he stared back at me, his eyebrows lowered; hurt could be heard in his tone.

   He wasn't going to get a word out from me with him talking to me like that. It wasn't me being ignorant, it was just me not knowing what to do or know what to say at all.

"So I'm guessing that promise is broken." He let out a brittle laugh, taking a seat next to me.

"I read it." I confessed, biting my lip, not knowing what his action will be.

"Read what?"

I didn't even want to tell him by the sound of his voice, it couldn't be any worse. It was harsh and stern.

"Your journal entry." I lowly whispered.

His reaction wasn't what I had in mind. I thought he'd blow up, but he surprisingly he didn't.

   He sighed loudly, sinking into the couch. I trained my eyes on the TV. It was on SpongeBob SquarePants. The intense moment between Alex and I happened to be shared with a children show. I laughed with a crooked smile. This wasn't how I expected it to be.

"What's so funny?" He eyed me suspiciously.

 "SpongeBob is on." I stated.

"Are you, Laila Rose, making fun of me?" He switched his accent to an over-dramatic New Jersey one, with his finger pointing at his chest.

"Maybe I am, maybe I'm not." I smirked playfully, causing him to grin, forming wrinkles at his eyes, which I had grown to adore.

"Laila, why did you truly come?" He asked, after a few minutes of the hearing of his neighbour's headboard to their bed banging against the opposite wall of the living room, which add a layer of awkwardness to the atmosphere.

"I woke up." I simply explained.

"There must be more than just waking up." He rolled his eyes. I was starting to believe he had taken that after me.

  "Alex," I paused, switching my position, putting one leg beneath me, moving my body to be directly looking at him. "have you ever had a recurring nightmare before?"

   It was plain in sight that he was wondering why I'd ask such a random question out of the blue like that. "Yeah when I was in like in the first grade, why?"

"I get these night terrors." I blurted out, his face still looking slightly confused.

"Well, what are these nightmares?"

    I knew he just wanted to help, but I couldn't get anything out. The horrible imagines replay, the screams in my mind, it repeated over and over again.

   "Come here," Alex whispered, taking me by my waist, he sat me between his legs. He must have noticed the distraught that was written all over me. "everything will be okay."

   "I just want this to be last night that I'll ever feel like this." I admitted, trying to hold back my tears. "I don't want you to see me cry. I'll be fine."

   "I know that's a lie." He said in my ear, brushing my hair with his fingertips. "You wouldn't have ran all the way here if you're just 'fine'."

   "I'm so sick and tired of them saying it's just a phase and that I'll be okay." I wiped a tear off my cheek, laying my head down on Alex's chest.

"I guess they don't know you like I know you." His raspy voice sent shivers down my spine.

"And what's that?" I tilted my head to the side, enjoying his fingers swirling my hair.

   "That you're stronger than you think, what anyone else's thinks. But I know it, because I see the things you do." His breath tickled down my neck softly. It was relaxing.

    His hand repeatedly played with my hair as my eyes remained close. The ruckus of his neighbours had stopped luckily. So now, the only sound was our breathing. The television was muted, and the air conditioning vent's rattling stopped.

    "Don't let yourself get in over your head," He said.

       He stared down at me, grabbing my chin gently. The compassionate affection caused butterflies to emerge through my stomach, and the hairs on my arms to rise.

     "Alex?" I softy spoke. "How did you know I was at the park that one night? During that storm."

  "That was merely a month ago and you're still on that?" His smile grew. "And I didn't know. I just happen to be out and saw someone on the bridge. It kinda worried me, so I went to check. You know, being a human with a small bit of a soul."

   "Oh I think your soul is more than just a small bit." I nestled myself more into his firm chest, staring down onto his lips that were calling my name. His callous fingers still had their touch on my chin, and pulling me closer to his face.

  I decided to make the move of pressing my lips onto his first. It was going to happen anyway.  This kiss distracted me from what was going on in my clutter mind, I never felt so safe in my life.

 I wasn't quite sure why I felt safe, it was something about him, it was a blanket of protection.

   His hands slid down to my hips, pulling me tighter than I ever thought I could be to someone. His tongue dominated mine as the kiss became intense and breathless. All I could think about was how much I wanted to become more acquainted to these lips of his. They were addicting almost. I oddly wanted more, and have it forever lasting.

My hands moved down to the helm of shirt, and he automatically pulled away.

"Alex, what are we?" I breathlessly said. It was something on my mind, but I quickly began to regret it, forgetting he was partly drunk.

   It took him a handful of minutes to respond, nothing but purely starting into each other eyes, "I wouldn't know what to say if I had you."

   I turned my head away from him, and lean against his chest, tangling my hand with his, and played with his fingers.

  "My dad is going kill me if he finds me missing." I ignore his statement.  I didn't mean to, I just didn't know what to say. It was all still so new to me.

"Stay here for the night." He tried to persuade me. "They won't know you're missing."

"My brother drops me off every day to school." I informed him, smiling at what game our hands seem to be playing.

"Just call tomorrow saying you will ride the bus." He shrugged as if the plan is full proof.

"Yeah, right. That makes total sense, call my brother when he's downstairs. He isn't an idiot." My sarcastic self was starting to kick in.

"What's the worst that can happen?" He questioned.

"What type of parents do you have, Alex?"

He scoffed. "Parents that don't want me."

"Is that why you live here?" I switched our positions, criss-crossing, looking right at him.

"They don't want me so badly that they pay for this place, Angel."

   My heart ached a little from what he told me. It got me thinking of what type of childhood Alex could have possibly had. No child, no kid, no teenager, of any age should have parents that didn't want them.

"Maybe you have the wrong idea?" I felt terribly bad, wanting to comfort him, but he most likely didn't even want it.

"Laila I'm pretty damn sure." He snapped, pushing me off vaguely. I sighed, defeated. Leave it to me to make Alex snap about something in a moment that could be defined as perfect.

"Come on, let me get you a shirt to barrow." He walked into his room, leaving me with no choice but to follow him.

Once I entered, he handed me a red t-shirt from his drawers.

 "Can I have shorts, please?" I requested, wanting fresh clothes.

"You can't sleep with sweatpants on?" He gave me a look that I wasn't too keen on, it was a face that my teacher, fat old man would make.

"I ran in these sweatpants." I stated, giving him the are-you-kidding-me-look; my eyebrows rose.

"Well in that case, you can sleep in your panties." He cheekily smiled.

   He then hopped onto his bed and got comfortable in the sheets. There was no way that I was going to sleep in my underwear in the same bed as him, absolutely no way. Alex had ripped almost all morals I had for myself when the thought of relationship came to mind, and I wasn't going to let him have this one.

"Fine," I crossed my arms with a huff. "I'll just look for a pair of boxers myself.

'Uh-I wouldn't do that if I was you." He  hesitantly said as I approached his small dresser drawers.

I yanked out the first top one, only to find shirts after shirts.

And then the second one, where there was nothing but jeans.

Then the third one, finally I reached to his boxer drawer.

But what I also found had my eyes bulging at what I saw stuffed deep within the multiple boxers.

"Don't tell me that I didn't warn you." I could practically see his smirk from the back of me.

There were condoms.

Not just one, or two, not even three. With my calculations, there was a full year supply.

"You act like it's weed. It's only twenty-five." He joked with a chuckle.

   I hastily turned around, still shocked at what I had witnessed. Sure, I had taken sex education just like any American teenager, but had I ever seen condoms before? Only the packages on the TV had I only seen them before. Never in person was I so close to the squared packages.

"Twenty-five? Alex!" I squealed. "Who have you been banging to be needing that much?!" I blurted it out, it was so unexpected to him, and to me especially.

"Oh my God." I smacked my hand on my forehead, hurrying out the door to get to the bathroom.

   I changed into his heavy masked scented clothes once I quickly closed the bathroom door behind me. I cracked my neck a little and took in a deep breath. It was all so overwhelming.

   Next, I washed my sweaty palms. Hoping Alex wouldn't notice that I was nervous when I returned. There was no need to be anxious, I thought I trusted Alex, and maybe I still did. But seeing his condoms and his question from earlier this morning, it all got me thinking.

   I switched off the lights of the small bathroom, and headed back to his room with a lot on my mind.

   The opposite side of where Alex was laying on the bed already had the sheets stripped down half way. Yawning, and with my hand rubbing my overly tired eye, I crawled into his cloud-like bed.

He shut off his lamp, scooting closer to me, and then broke the silence between. "If you want me to get rid of them I will."

  When I chose not to reply, he spoke again, "I shouldn't have asked you that question. I didn't know what I was thinking. I don't want you in that way."

"Geez thanks." I said under my breath. I felt more than just self-conscious and doubtful.

   "No, Laila. Not like that. Like I do want you in that way, I want it more than anything." He paused. "Damn it that makes me sound like a manwhore. I respect you is what I'm trying to say. I've never respected a woman more than I have ever had with you."

   I grinned from his sweet words. It was just what I wanted to hear and needed. They calmed my nervous, allowing me release the tension in my bones, lowering my blood's temperature.  

   "Okay." – It was the only thing I could come up with in the moment, and was a bit awkward. But it alright because when his arm draped over my hip when I turned against him, pushing my body into his in a spooning position, I knew everything was going to be okay.

"Laila?"

"Hmmm?"

"I want to take you on a proper date." He stuttered a little. "Or whatever the proper way it is to take a girl out."

  I could feel his smile widen against the back of my head where his lips lied, causing me to softly smile too.

"Let's talk about it tomorrow." I suggested, yawning from how tired I was.

"Sounds good to me."

   My eyes closed and my breathing settled down.  I was just about to doze off until Alex's voice startled me a little.

"Laila?"

"Yes, Alex." There was a bone in me that was getting a little annoyed.

"Good night." He paused, "And try not to get your period this time, alright?"

   His raspy laugh caused me to smile, but now every bone in me wanted to slap him from his dry joke – that was clearly not a dry joke to him.

"Piss off." I grumbled.

However, despite my grumpy tone, in the dark where he couldn't see me, I was smiling ear to ear.

_______

a.n

It's 1am, can I get a vote for staying up this late to get out an update :D <3

& What's y'alls thoughts on the chapter? (please don't make fun of me about my country ways 'yall')

This chapter is dedicated to Alltimebri, thanks for being super punk rock! B)

- Kc Jun.26.2014

p.s I put The Last Night by Skillet to the side since I got inspiration from the song for this chapter, listen to it! :)