Chapter 17

"Let's go on a date, shall we?" He asked and offered me his hand. I gladly took it and we walked together to his car.

"Where are we going anyway?" I only remembered to ask him when he's already driving out of the parking lot.

"Actually... I don't know either," P'Off said while driving. I looked at him wide mouth hanging open. Here we are going on a date to who knows where.

"Where are you driving to then?" I asked. We're already at the road and I can feel that if we don't decide soon, we're going on a trip around Bangkok with no stopping.

"Should we go to the mall?" He asked. He was driving slowly and I can feel that he's doing it on purpose. I can also feel that the cars behind us are honking at us because of that very reason.

"Sure," I said without thinking. We were quiet the entire drive, which drove me to overthink.

What would people think when they see us?

P'Off is good at not minding people, atleast on the outside. But me... I act more like myself when I'm around a lot of people. Right now, I'm worried that P'Off would notice how anxious I am. I shrugged that thought off but what replaced it is about what P'Off said.

"Gun, I want to be with you."

Did he really mean that? I felt his sincerity, but I can also feel an uncomfortable lump in my heart that maybe he was just playing around again. I thought I already got past that anxious thought but I guess it's still right behind me, waiting for it's time to jump at the very little feeling of doubt that I feel.

"You're quiet," P'Off said. He's slowing down as he search for a parking space in the mall's parking lot.

"Usually, you don't speak when you don't like what you're thinking about." He's words shocked me. I felt mildly electrocuted. I also felt transparent and vulnerable.

"You can't be sure about that. I mean, I'm usually quiet," I said. I opened the door when he finally parked. I waited for him to get out of the car and I consciously paced my walk to align with his.

"Now, you're acting like you're fine but you know what? You did not make any skin contact," P'Off said.

Why does it feel like he's reading me like a signboard? Am I really so obvious?

I did not know how to react to P'Off's words. They were true but they taste odd in my mouth. They don't feel right. I guess P'Off is right. I'm really not being myself today.

"I want us to have fun, you know. I wish I'd see you smile tonight and it would be a genuine one." We entered the mall and I instinctively put a little bit more space between me and P'Off. I looked around people's reactions. They did not seem to care, which shocked me. Some gave us a glance, but there's nothing extraordinary or extreme about it.

"Let's eat first." I felt P'Off hold my wrists and gently dragged me to a restaurant. I suddenly realized that I was obviously acting weird. It made me feel soery for P'Off, specially that he said he wanted us to have fun but I feel like I'm ruining it.

"Sorry, P'Off..." I said when we found a table

"...and I want us to have fun, too." P'Off smiled at my answer. I should focus to just P'Off and our date. We settled down and ordered food.

"I was serious about what I said earlier," P'Off said. I felt electric shocked. I have a feeling that he pertaining to what he said when he pulled me away from the shooting.

"I really want to be with you," P'Off said. He slowly inched his hand towards mine. I did not pull away. He held my hand tightly. This just feels so surreal. I realized that I always hoped for this to happen. It felt like a dream come true.

"Good evening. Here's your order," the waiter came with our food. I instinctively pulled my hands away but P'Off held on to it firmly. The entire time that the waiter served our food, P'Off did not let my hand go. He only let go when the waiter left.

"Let's eat," he said. I nodded amd started eating what's on my plate, but my mind is on P'Off's words. I can't just hear him say those words and not reply.

"P'Off." He responded by looking at me with a intent look on his face. He's been waiting for my reply although I think we both know what my reply would be. I'm itching to say yes, but there's some things that I should clarify first.

"P'Tay said that you haven't moved on yet and you said you weren't ready to commit yet. That's the reason why I asked us to just be friends despite our feelings. I know that I expressed my frustration about what we are, but I can handle my feelings just fine. If you feel like I'm rushing or forcing you, P'Off I want you to know that I'm willing to wait," I said. Naturally, I stuffed my mouth with food after that. I focused my eyes on my plate. My eyes were perked up as I wait for what P'Off would say but at the same time, I just want to curl myself up into  messed up sushi and skew myself.

"Look at me, will you?" He asked. For a moment, I forgot how to function but I lifted my head and looked at him.

"I really like you and I want to be with you. Is there any way that I can make that clearer?" He said. I felt silence, then I felt my heart beating. The food in my mouth tasted a little bit sweeter and the lights of the restaurant shone a little softer. My eyes are glued on P'Off that everything else blurs. 

"There's one way," I said. His mouth opened a bit, a sign that he doesn't know what I'm talking about.

"Let's start dating."