20. Bloody Loss

The night did take long, just as I expected.

I stayed up thinking about the girl. She could've been someone in the past. No, she was someone.

And I thought about Newt. He was everything to me and I had managed to mess it up entirely.

I couldn't even cry anymore. My eyes were drained of any tears that threatened to come.

The Cranks that attacked me left as soon as the sun began to rise and I took that as my que to get back to the Right Arm.

Every muscle in my body was sore and my leg throbbed where the Crank got a hold of me.

My head was pounding and my tongue felt as though I had bitten it all the way off. My jaw was swollen and it hurt to open.

I didn't even bother looking at my leg before I jumped off the roof. I knew if I saw it, it would only make the pain worse.

By the amount of blood that had pooled on the tin roof and was dripping into the gutters, it was bad.

Why the hell was I always getting hurt? Only a month ago I was shot.

Maybe it was just because I was stupid.

Yeah, that definitely was it. I am just incredibly stupid. First kissing Niko, then telling Newt I hate him, and now this.

Pain rattled my body as I hit the ground and rolled.

Walking back took way longer than it should have. I ran farther than I thought.

My breath was raspy and short. Stupid one lung.

I limped horribly and thought of Newt . How did he get his limp? I never asked.

He was right. I was selfish. I barely knew anything about him, but told him everything about me.

Tears stung my eyes as the Right Arm came into view.

As I got closer, I saw Brenda come out of the eating building.

She stared at me for a moment before she came running to me.

Her questions filled my ears, but I comprehend none of them. I just kept walking. I was empty now.

Images of the little girl swirled through my mind and I couldn't blink them away.

I saw Newt and felt even emptier. I didn't even have him.

His eyes got wide and I saw his lips move, calling out to me. But I still heard nothing.

I still felt nothing.

Tears finally fell down my cheeks.

A group was gathering around me now, taking in the sight. I knew I probably looked like a Crank myself. I was tore up and bleeding about in every place possible.

Jorge finally wrapped his arms around me and picked me up, carrying me to the makeshift hospital.

I closed my eyes as everything began to go black. Unlike when I got shot, this time I didn't have Newt. This time, I didn’t think I would be waking up.