Chapter 46

I wake up to a dark room, and I instantly know it’s either really early or extremely late. I check the time and see its 4am. I try my hardest to go back to sleep but it’s an impossible task, so I decide to just stay on my phone for a bit. I might get tired eventually.

Not happening, its half past four and I’m wide awake. I climb out of bed and walk into the bathroom with some clothes in my hand. I decide to wear a blue skater skirt, a white long sleeved top and black tights ((picture at the side)).

I have a shower, washing my hair and body, making me instantly wake me up much more. I change into my clothes and just leave my hair to dry on its own. I check to see if Eleanor’s awake, before walking downstairs and into the back garden. It’s not too dark out here, but I came outside to get fresh air and some peace. I feel suffocated in that house.

I stay outside on the deck chairs for about an hour, just thinking about everything that’s happened. About how much I hate Conor for this and how he could even let me down like this after everything we’ve been through. About how much I hate all my friends for not even trying to make effort with me after how much of an asshole they’ve all been. And about how much I dislike Jack for doing what he did, but at least he’s making effort with me. I appreciate it.

Honestly, if Eleanor didn’t come over, I would be lost. It would’ve left me to depression or something. Well, maybe not that far but I’d still be crying about everything now, and I don’t think I could open up to my Mum this much, so she’d be no help.

I start to get bored so I make my way inside and make myself cheese on toast. When I’m finished, I go into my room and set up my straighteners.

My hair’s already pretty dry so I apply the straighteners to it and curl the ends slightly with it. I put a little bit of make-up on before going into the bathroom and brushing my teeth.

Eleanor’s still asleep and I’m actually debating whether I should wake her up or not. I’m so bored and Jack will only be here in about 3 hours.

I decide to be nice and leave her to sleep, before going downstairs and watching TV while going on my laptop.

“Lucy, what are you doing up at,” Mum checks the clock “eight thirty?”

“I couldn’t get back to sleep” I laugh dryly. 8:30? That went quick.

“Oh right. Well your Dad and I are off to work now so be good” she winks and I just roll my eyes.

“See you Lucy” my Dad smiles before walking out of the house with my Mum.

I get up and have a drink to calm myself. I’m really anxious about seeing Jack, I don’t know why. I don’t know what I’m expecting to happen and I honestly don’t know what I’ll say. I feel like just forgiving him straight away because I already know how sorry he is, but I’m going to listen to Eleanor this time.

‘Promise me that when he comes back, keep him on his toes. Don’t just let him think he can walk over you. Keep him waiting so he wants you more and trust me, he’ll learn from his mistakes’

I know she said that about Conor but, hey, I can use it with Jack too.

The doorbell interrupts my thoughts. Shit, he’s here already. I slowly open the door to see him stood with hs hands stuffed in his pockets and a small smile on his face.

“Hey” he smiles at me.

“Hi” I nod and open the door wider.

“Sorry I’m early, I was bored of waiting” he shrugs.

“Right...”

I walk into the living room and I hear his footsteps behind me. I sit on the sofa and nod for him to sit next to me. We have about a minute of silence and this is getting really awkward.

“Are you going to say something?”

“I don’t know what to say to be honest” he sighs.

“Why are you here then?” I snap.

“You’re not exactly making this easy for me. I’ve come here to apologise and you’re just putting me under pressure”

“Stop making up excuses for yourself!” I frown.

“I’m not! This is just getting pathetic though”

“No, Jack. What’s pathetic is that I actually trusted you with my fucking life, then you don’t even tell me that my boyfriend is cheating on me” I stand up from my seat and he does the same. I realise how much taller he is than me.

“I fucking know that and I can’t even put into words how sorry I am. Fuck, Lucy you’re being such hard work”

“I think I have the right to be a bit of hard work after everything that’s happened” I mumble and my eyes start to fill up.

He lets out a huge sigh and walks up closer to me. I back away slightly.

“Look Lucy, I’ve been such a dick and I know I should’ve told you about what happened but I swear I only knew about it the day before you came over. I didn’t know how to tell you about it and I’ve not even spoken to Conor since I’ve found out. And if we have spoken, it’s just been an argument about how much of a dick he is. I’m so sorry, I don’t know how to say how sorry I am Lucy but I really am. I don’t just want to let our friendship go after something as stupid as this”

“It’s not stupid” I mumble and he just laughs slightly while walking over to me. He opens his arms and wraps them tightly around my shoulders, so I wrap my arms around his waist and let a few tears fall onto his shirt.

“Out of everything I just said, you pick up on that” he laughs while rubbing my back. I don’t do anything. I just keep my arms wrapped around him. Jack hugs are the best hugs. “I’m so sorry” he kisses my forehead.

“It’s ok” I sigh and pull away from him.

“Are you alright?” he wipes away a tear on my cheek and I just nod.

“Morning” Eleanor yawns and walks into the living room, stretching. I mentally face palm. “Oh shit. I forgot, sorry. Um, I’ll just go make some breakfast” she stutters.

“Oh my god” I moan when she walks away. “Do you want food?”

“Go on then” he nudges me. I roll my eyes and go to the kitchen to meet El.

“Just help yourself to food. You know where everything is” I tell Jack and he starts looking through the cupboards for something.

“I’m guessing you’ve made up?” Eleanor asks.

“Yeah” I laugh.

“Has anyone else tried calling you or whatever?” Jack asks me.

“Yeah, I just ignore the calls though” I shrug.

“You didn’t tell me this” El gasps.

“I don’t want to talk to them though. You’d just make me go sort things out”

“I wouldn’t!”

“Maybe you should work things out with them. You did with me” Jack shrugs.

“I don’t want to talk to them though” I repeat myself.

“Ever?”

“Well, not at the moment”

“Come on Lucy, it’s just going to be awkward if you don’t. Don’t ruin your school break. If you’re going to forgive them later then why not do it now?” Jack asks and I just shrug. “It'll just make you miserable if you don't so you might as well”

“Mhmm”

“Why don’t we all go to the park again later? Sort things out” he asks.

“Fine” I sigh. I do want to make up with them all and I guess Jack’s right by saying I might as well make up with them now.

“I’ll make plans” he digs his phone out of his pocket and starts texting. “I feel sorry for you having to forgive seven people” he laughs.

“Who said I’m forgiving them?” I wink and he just rolls his eyes.

“Where’s your Mum anyway?”

“They needed her at work today. And Dad’s working till the end of the week”

“Oh right” he nods.

“Oh my god I haven’t showed you my room!” I gasp and grab his hand before running upstairs. I get into my room and point at my wall of pictures from London.

“Fucking hell” he gasps. “It’s well good! It must’ve taken you ages”

I shrug, “It was fun”

“Bet it was. Sticking photos of my face all over your wall” he winks.

“Yep, definitely” I laugh. “Oh and look over there” I point to the nightstand and he looks at the picture of me and him outside the London Eye.

“That’s so cute” he smiles and I just roll my eyes. He gets out his phone and reads something. “We’re meeting them all at twelve ok?”

“I don’t really have a choice” I shrug.

“Yes you do. You don’t have to meet them, I’m not forcing you to. I’m just saying it might be for the best. And we’re going to Portsmouth this weekend”

“Oh I don’t think I’m going”

“What!? Why not?” he gasps.

“I can’t be bothered. Eleanor’s here as well. And Conor will be going” I sigh.

“Eleanor can come! And I’d doubt Conor will come and if he does I’ll make sure he stays well away from you” he says seriously.

“I’ll think about it”

“Please come Lucy. It’ll be boring without you” he pouts.

“I’ll give you an answer tomorrow” I laugh.

“Fine” he sighs, jokingly.

-

I walk onto the park with El and Jack and see everyone stood in a group. My heart beat’s going faster than its usual rate. I scan the whole park to find Conor and relief flows through me when I see no sign of him.

“Lucy, you look like you’ve seen a ghost” Eleanor jokes. It’s not funny. I just ignore her and walk further onto the park.