Twenty-Two

"Oh, you're back," Maddie grinned as Riddler reentered.

"Yes, and I have some much more difficult riddles here for you," Edward replied. And one in the oven...

"Fire away, chief," she smiled. "The score is four-to-one, if you think you can catch up."

"What creature has four legs in the morning, two at midday, and three in the evening?" Edward inquired with a smirk.

"Ooh, that is tough," Madeline frowned. "I don't think I know. A baby?"

"No!" Ed yelled gleefully. "But you are close, I suppose. Being a baby is just part of the life cycle of man. Man is the answer to the riddle."

"Oh, ok. Hit me with another one then!" Maddie moved on, eyes bright.

"At night they come without being fetched. And by day they are lost without being stolen," he replied.

"Um, well it's not dogs or some other animal. But they come out at night. And are completely gone by day. They. So not the moon, but the stars!" She figured out.

Edward gritted his teeth.

"Correct. Five-to-two. What's red and green and goes round and round and round?" He asked.

"Oh dear. I have absolutely no idea," Maddie sighed, only half-acting. She didn't know what the answer was, but she was definitely playing it up some.

"Frog in a blender. A point for me. When is a door not a door?" Eddy queried.

"Isn't a door always a door?" Maddie wondered.

"No. It's not a door when it's ajar, meaning open. Another point," he gloated. "What can you put in a barrel to make it lighter?"

"Helium," she answered, eyes and stance confident.

"Wrong. A hole," Edward corrected.

"Wait a second. If you put a bunch of helium in a barrel it will get lighter and float. You could also put in a lantern or some other form of light, making it lighter," Madeline argued.

"I don't think you get how this works. You have to give my answer," Riddler growled.

"But my answer was right, too!" Maddie yelled. "You're not being fair, Uncle Eddy!"

"Who ever told you that life was fair?" Edward frowned.

"Well who ever told you that you hold all the answers?" She snarked back.

They glared at each other, now in an angry standoff. Just as things started to look bad, a loud ding could be heard from beyond the door.

"That'll be for me," Riddler growled.

"Yeah. Okay," Maddie muttered back.

"This isn't over," Riddler asserted as he backed away and to the door.

"Yeah, whatever. You're just a sore loser. You're trying to cheat because you hate losing," she mumbled.

"No. I'm not. I don't cheat," he countered.

"Then prove it. Admit that I'm right too," Maddie tested.

"Fine. Your answer was also acceptable. We'll call that riddle a draw because it was so controversial," Edward admitted. "Now don't move. I'll be back after I get them out of the oven."

<><><><><><><><><><><>

Johnny was driving down the road frantically, the van swerving in and out of traffic as he struggled to get them to the old warehouse on the outskirts of Gotham. Of course it just so happened to be on the opposite side of the city from the river, just like the river was clear across Gotham from the post office. The riddles were all set up to make Joker lose time so he couldn't reach Madeline. They'd already used up an hour and a half of their time when they managed to all get back into the van at the river.

Andy was still dripping wet in the back, so every time Frost took a sharp turn, droplets were flung from his hair and body, hitting both the van and its other occupants. Tommy was holding his boyfriend's clothing, keeping it nice and dry as they made the panicked drive to ACE Chemicals.

The place where Joker got his start. Where he got a nice, corrosive bath in their chemicals to give him a pasty complexion and a homicidal disposition. If J understood Riddler's threat correctly, it would soon be the place where Madeline would meet her end.

Or her beginning, pointed out the darkest voice.

What are you saying? That we should let Riddler drop her in?

It may not kill her. It didn't kill us. What if this is the turning point? What if this changes her, so she's like us? So that she'll finally listen to us and be the murderous tool we intended her to be from the very beginning? What do we have to lose?

Her! We would lose Maddie! Either way we'd lose her! Do we really want her to change? I like her the way she is right now!

He does have a point. We did take her in for a reason, and she hasn't yet fulfilled her purpose, despite our numerous efforts. This could be the final push that makes her what we initially wanted her to be.

Exactly! Initially! Things are different now! I don't want to lose the perfect little girl we've got right now!

A little girl is all we have! She's ruining us! She's making him weak. She's already made you weak!

The turmoil in Joker's head had reached its climax. He had no idea what side to stick with, no idea what he should do. He knew what he wanted to do, but he also knew that what he wanted wasn't necessarily what he should want. Joker knew that letting Madeline be herself was ruining him. He knew that eventually he was going to snap. He knew that he couldn't keep up the sweet facade with her forever, made evident by the Phil incident. But he also knew that he'd regret it if he changed the sweet girl he liked (read as loved) so much.

"Boss?" Johnny interjected. "We're here."

<><><><><><><><><><><>

Meanwhile, Riddler was facing a similar dilemma.

"Would it really be beneficial to me to let this girl fall in acid and potentially die or lose her mind?" He spoke to himself as he frosted cupcakes. "I mean, sure it would tick Joker off if she died, but if she turns like he did, where does that leave myself? I'd have helped the clown. Madeline has proved to be a worthy adversary both in physical and mental skill. It would truly be a waste to let the acid ruin the potential held in her mind. Perhaps I should take a page out of the madman's book and make her my apprentice. I let Joker think I killed her and then let her think Joker abandoned her. Then she loses all loyalty to him and instead is left with only myself to trust."

The plan he'd briefly fomented seemed practical enough to implement. Edward smiled to himself as he selected one of the cupcakes and plopped a bullet onto its icing. Now to win this game and put the plan into motion.

"Madeline," he called as he opened the door. "I have something that is both a snack and a riddle."

Before he could give her the riddle, his cell phone rang.

"Yes?" He answered, cupcake held behind his back.

"I'm outside, riddle freak," Joker growled. "ACE Chemicals. Release Madeline right now before things get messy."

"Is it Daddy?" Maddie asked, bouncing up and down in excitement.

"Yes," Riddler answered, holding his hand over the mouth of the phone.

"That means I win! He's here, so the game is over. I have more points, so I win!" Madeline exclaimed.

Shit. I didn't get to give her the riddle to tie us up.

"Make your choice. Apologize about the fight to him right now or tell me you love him," she gloated.

"Edward? I swear if you don't answer me," Joker said over the phone.

Eddy sighed before making his decision and putting the phone on speaker so that Madeline could hear his choice.

"I apologize for the incident that led to our initial fight. It all escalated to this very quickly," he said with no emotion in his voice.

"Just do me a favor and do it for me. Get rid of her, put her in the acid, whatever you were going to do. All I ever wanted her for was my plan, and she didn't deliver on that anyways," Joker instructed emotionlessly, shocking both Riddler and Madeline.

"Are you telling me that you don't care at all about the girl I have in my custody?" He asked, gleeful and all too aware of the fact that Maddie was listening in.

"I don't," Joker confirmed.

Suddenly a flurry of bullets shattered the glass windows of the room. Maddie was too shellshocked to duck or even cover her head as Johnny and Tommy flew into the room from the fire escape, guns blazing.

As Johnny held Riddler at gun point, Tommy came and swooped Madeline up into his arms, carrying the unmoving girl back out the window and down the fire escape where the van was parked, waiting. Joker was in the driver's seat now so they could pull away immediately upon Frosty's return.

Tommy dove into the back with his charge and speedily buckled them in. Now they were just waiting on Frosty.

"My boss said he'd deal with you later," Johnny growled as he backed towards the window.

"The damage has already been done," Eddy smirked.

"You better watch your back in Arkham," Johnny warned as he finally jumped out of the window and climbed back down to the van.

Riddler paused, confused as to what he meant. He got his answer when Batman came flying through the door from the kitchen, tackling him to the floor.

"And here I thought bats were nocturnal," Riddler groaned from beneath Batman.

"Where's Madeline?" Batman demanded in his growl.

"So Selina led you here. I'm afraid you're just a moment too late, Batman. Joker just reclaimed her. I imagine he's a good ways away by now," Riddler chuckled. "Of course, if you release me, you could still catch him."

"Not a chance," Bruce muttered. "Perhaps if you'd led me to her in the first place. But now you'll simply have to get reacquainted with your cell in Arkham Asylum."

Batman was quick to drop the criminal off with James Gordon at the MCU, but Riddler was right. It was too late now to catch Joker. He was long gone with Madeline. And he'd just cleaned up his only lead. Bruce sighed beneath his cowl. Now all he could do was wait.

<><><><><><><><><><><>Fifteen minutes earlier...

"Boss?" Johnny interjected. "We're here."

Andy and Tommy both turned to Joker, expecting his orders. He didn't know what to say. Ultimately, he decided to follow his instinct.

"Pull up along the back. There's a fire escape below the window. I'll call him and distract him while Thomas and Frosty break in and free Madeline," he ordered finally.

"What do you want me to do?" Andy asked nervously.

"Get dressed. For fuck's sake. I doubt the first thing Madeline wants to see when she climbs into this van is her half naked caretaker," Joker groaned.

Andy blushed before beginning to put on his clothes that Tommy handed him.

"Thomas, Frosty, start climbing. I'm making the call. I'll try to stall him," J ordered, pulling out a disposable phone.

"How?" Andy wondered as Tommy and Johnny opened the doors and snuck out.

"By surprising him. He'll see through any attempts to keep him talking. I'll have to say something that will make him want to know why so he'll stay on the phone and refrain from doing anything to Madeline. I'll have to convince him that she means absolutely nothing to me," Joker explained as he dialed the all-too-familiar numbers.

"What if he tells Madeline?" Andy asked.

"Madeline wouldn't believe him over me," J scoffed. "Watch and learn."