Eight

"You did good, doll. You made Daddy proud. Now get out. There's things I need to do," Joker growled against the woman's lips.

She huffed, this being the fifth or so time J had brushed her off after sex. But what else did she expect? Tender cuddling? Affection? A proposal? As if.

Joker watched appreciatively as the woman got up and out of the bed, bending over to put on her panties and such. He too stood and pulled on his pants, buckling his belt slowly as he approached the woman whose name he'd forgotten (again).

"I'll call you later doll," he purred, slapping her ass as he strode out of the hotel room bare chested.

He smirked the whole ride down to the lobby, sated and smug. The hotel he took girls to was far too cowardly to rat him out to the cops or the Bat for fear of what he'd do in retaliation, which was a good thing considering Madeline made it impossible to bring women back to the mansion anymore.

The purple Lamborghini was waiting outside when Joker exited the hotel. He climbed into his sleek beauty and zoomed back home after nearly five hours with what's-her-face at the hotel. He couldn't help but wonder how Eddy had fared with teaching Maddie. She seemed stubborn enough with him, and he had bribed her to cooperate.

We did warn him about her.

Yeah, the egomaniac was too stupid to listen. Not our problem.

Still. Maybe we should check up on him. Just to remind him that if the task is too much he can always quit. J snickered, wanting to torment the super genius some more. He dialed the number on a disposable phone as he flew down the road.

"Who are you and what do you want?" Riddler groaned through the phone. J immediately started cackling.

"What's the matter, Eddy boy, too worn out to even give me a riddle?" Joker laughed.

"Here's a riddle for you, clown. Why don't you take your attitude and shove it up your ass?" Edward growled.

"Woah, there Eddy. Chill out. Temper temper. Did she really get you that worked up? She's just a little girl, after all," J chuckled.

"I don't want to hear any of your bullshit, Joker. You're raising a little terror over there and you know it," Riddler protested.

"Giving up already, Eddy? I thought you'd at least last a week. Clearly I was wrong about your capabilities," J teased.

"I can definitely handle her. I was just unprepared for Madeline. Now I know what to expect and how to go about completing my task," Riddler defended.

"Whatever you need to tell yourself. I just wanted to make sure that she hadn't killed you yet. I'll see you tomorrow at nine Edward," J sighed as he hung up, rolling down his window and tossing out the phone after.

That's upsetting. I was hoping she'd killed him.

Weren't we all? Joker asked himself. Time to go home and see how successful he was.

Meanwhile, Madeline was practicing writing her letters with Andy and Tommy up in her bedroom. They had been pleased by her progress and gently encouraged her to show them all that she knew. So now she was practicing letters.

"Do you know how to spell your name, Madeline?" Andy asked.

"Not really. But I can try!" She said brightly.

"That's good baby. Why don't you sound it out and write it down for us?" Tommy suggested.

"Okay. Madeline. Mmm—M! Aa aa aa—A! Duh, duh—D!" The girl sounded out.

This was the scene Joker walked in on when he entered the room. Maddie was still sounding out her name and trying to write it down on the paper she had laid out.

"Done!" She shouted, not having noticed J standing in the doorway. Tommy and Andy leaned over, checking her work.

"Not quite, sweetheart. You put M-A-D-E-L-I-N. That's all correct, but there is an E at the end of your name. It's silent, so it's not your fault for not knowing. Just remember that for next time," Andy corrected gently.

Maddie took it all in, nodding and adding an E to the end of her name. She smiled and looked up, noticing her father for the first time.

"Daddy!" She shouted, running at him and hugging his legs. Just as the urge to reach down and hug her back came to mind, Maddie pulled away and excitedly tugged him over to the table.

"Look what Uncle Eddy taught me to do! That's my name Daddy! And I know the alphabet too! Want me to sing you the song?" Maddie chattered.

"No." Yes. "That's alright, doll. But why are you calling him Uncle Eddy?" J asked.

"Because he's your step-brother," Madeline explained.

"Did he tell you that?" Joker demanded.

"No. I just guessed it and he didn't say no. But he did spit out his water," she admitted.

"How did you guess it?" J asked, still lost.

"Well, you guys dress alike, laugh and get mad a lot and you trust him. So I asked if he was your brother because he's not your daddy or son and he said you weren't related by blood. So I said you're step-brothers and he didn't say anything after that," Maddie confessed.

Holy fuck she's right. What do we do?!

Deny the shit out of that. That's what.

"We aren't step-brothers doll. We aren't any kind of brothers," Joker denied.

"Oh I get it. You used to be step-brothers but now you're not because your parents separated," Madeline decided.

Fuck this. I give up. As long as she doesn't think we're related to Nigma I don't care. Plus it'll be funny to watch him squirm when she calls him her uncle.

"Whatever. Do you like Eddy? Did he teach you well?" Joker asked, brushing off the whole uncle thing.

"Yeah," she hesitated.

"What's wrong? Did he touch you? Did he hurt you?" J demanded. I swear to god if he touched her...

"No, he didn't, it's just that he wasn't very fun. He didn't want to play or anything," Madeline confessed, calming Joker.

"Oh, well that's probably because that's not what he came here to do. Maybe he'll warm up to the idea later," he explained, relieved.

"Will you play with me, Daddy?" Maddie asked innocently.

"That wasn't part of the deal, doll," Joker said.

"I know. I just hoped you'd want to play with me anyway," she sighed, dejected.

It wasn't that Joker didn't want to spend time with Madeline, it was the opposite. That was the issue. Because what did it mean that J wanted to play her stupid games with her for no reason? He was starting to care, and that simply wouldn't do.

Kill her. Kill her now. I told you no good would come of this.

But we've already come so far...

And she's too adorable to die! Just look at her!

Doesn't matter. What the fuck is she doing to us?!

Would all of you shut the hell up?! I wasn't going to anyway.

Sure you weren't.

J realized that he'd been zoned out for some time and rather than tune back in and explain himself, he stormed out of the room, leaving Andy and Tommy to console Madeline, who was confused enough by J's silence without adding his exit into the mix.

"Does he not love me?" Maddie asked quietly, a single crocodile tear sliding down her flushed face. Acting quickly, Tommy knelt down by the girl and took her shoulders, forcing her to look him in the eye.

"I don't want to hear any of that, now. Just because he won't play with you doesn't mean he doesn't love you. Your daddy is a very special person in that he shows his feelings different. He shows his love through his actions, not his words. He doesn't love anything very easily because he's afraid to. But that doesn't mean he doesn't care about you. If he didn't care he wouldn't have saved you from the bad man," Tommy explained firmly.

"Why is he afraid?" Maddie wondered.

"Why is anyone afraid of anything honey? That's just the way he is," Andy answered gently.

"Now let's get you some lunch and then maybe we can watch a movie or play something, hm?" Tommy suggested, gently leading Madeline out of the room.

<><><><><><><><><><><>

Over the course of the next week, Riddler came every weekday and taught Maddie something new, and Joker avoided his daughter like the plague, only leaving his office to sneak off to the bathroom. It lowered Madeline's spirits quite a bit, but she was having a good time with her Uncle Eddy so she wasn't terribly upset by her father's disappearance.

"Uncle Eddy?" She'd asked on Thursday (despite his efforts, Madeline refused to call him anything other than Uncle Eddy).

"Yes, ragamuffin?" Edward replied (he delighted in calling her names like ragamuffin in retaliation since she didn't know what they meant).

"What does 'fuck' mean?" She asked innocently. The pair had been working on what some words meant, so naturally her daddy's favorite word came up as a topic of discussion.

"What?! How do you—never mind I know where you heard that. Fuck is a word that grown ups use to make an exclamation harsher. Children should not use such expletives. Fuck can also refer to sexual intercourse," he informed bluntly.

"But what's—" Maddie started to ask.

"That's all you ever need know," Riddler interrupted.

For a month Riddler came and it was a cycle on repeat. Get up, eat, learn, eat, play, eat, train, sleep. Meanwhile Joker tried as hard as he could to keep contact to a minimum. They did training together and ate dinner together and that was it. He spent the rest of his time scheming and sexing.

<><><><><><><><><><><>

Bats fluttered high up amongst the stalactites in the ceiling of a cave that was home to a much more dangerous kind of bat. They squeaked obnoxiously, but didn't seem to distract its other occupants. The only light came from the screens of computers that were all stacked up against one wall. In the massive black chair sat the man known by every villain in Gotham, and every other citizen too.

His eyes scanned the many screens, searching the different camera feeds for any sign of trouble or trickery. What with all of the Rogues on the loose after the most recent Arkham breakout, his schedule had been pretty eaten up. All but a few had been caught and sent back to the asylum where they would be treated without proper care or expertise. But was a vigilante to do? He certainly couldn't leave them all on the streets or in a normal prison. And killing was against his rule. It wasn't his place to determine who lives and who dies. No matter how bloody or black-and-blue he may beat one, he could never cross that line that separates him from them.

"I don't like it, Alfred," he said to his compatriot. "There's been no sightings or activity from Joker in over a month. And Riddler is surprisingly quiet as well. They must be up to something."

"Do you think that they are in cahoots, Master Wayne?" The Brit asked of the Caped Crusader.

"It's a possibility that can't be ruled out. They've worked together before," Batman gritted out, voice gravelly as he recalled the last scheme the pair had attempted together. He'd just barely been able to put a stop to it in time.

"Do you have any informants that could tell you anything?" Alfred asked in his lilting accent.

"I could try and find Selina. I don't know if I'm in her good graces right now, but it couldn't hurt to ask," Bruce responded, standing up.

"Right," Alfred drawled doubtfully, eyeing the spots in the old armor that he'd repaired for claw marks and remembering the eight gouges he'd bandaged in the caped crusader's back. "Either way, Master Wayne, be careful. Who knows what the Princes of Gotham are up to?"

When he turned around to ask if the Dark Knight needed anything, he was gone.

"I bloody hate it when he does that."