Seven

An unmarked car pulled up along the curb in the shadiest part of the Gotham City docks. A man emerged from the shadows, wearing a casual—at least for him—green suit and twirling a golden cane, whose topper was a sparkling question mark. The cane glistened in the early morning sunlight, effectively blinding the driver. Riddler smirked, knowing exactly the effect he'd had on Joker's man.

Frosty was still blinking the sun out of his eyes when Riddler smoothly opened the back door and slid into the car. Frost glared a little at the mastermind through the rear view mirror when his vision cleared up.

"That kinda shit ain't gonna fly with J. I'm telling you this now so your nerdy face doesn't get pounded in with your own cane later. I'd hate for Madeline to have to see something like that," Johnny warned lowly.

"Surely if this Madeline is to be of any use to your boss, she must be used to murder and carnage by now, hm?" Riddler pried innocently.

"Never you mind about that," Johnny growled. "Your job is to give the girl a proper education, not annoy the shit out of my boss and I. Any idiot could do that, and your behavior just puts you on their intellectual level."

Frost had succeeded in finally shutting the infamous Riddler up. The brainiac had no response to the head goon that did not imply he had an inferior intelligence. The car ride back to the manor was silent from that point on.

Meanwhile, it was seven in the morning and Maddie wasn't awake yet. Why would she be? It wasn't like she had anything to do that she knew about. J may have sort of neglected to tell the girl about her new tutor that was due to arrive in fifteen minutes. So when he casually told her caretakers that another super-criminal was on the way to see Maddie, who could blame them for panicking?

The pair immediately scrambled into the young girl's room and pounced her. The bed shook with Maddie as the men tried to wake her up with little success.

"Madeline! You need to wake up right now! Your daddy wants you up and ready to go in like ten minutes. He's got some mental training for you today and you need to get up!" Tommy whisper shouted to his charge.

Maddie almost immediately sat upright, knocking heads with Andy, who was still leaning over her. He quickly hissed and drew back, turning to find her an outfit to wear. Maddie looked concerned from her position.

"What's mental training?" She asked, mind still fuzzy from sleep and her strange but hilarious dream.

"You're gonna learn some new stuff that's not fighting," Tom explained shortly, lifting the girl out of bed and setting her down on the floor.

She was too tired to protest when he stripped her of her nightgown as Andrew entered and dressed her in jeans and a flannel shirt. Once she was dressed, Tommy swept her up and took her to the bathroom, gently washing her face and helping her brush her teeth as Andy brushed out her hair and put it up in pigtails.

"Look! So pretty and ready to go," Andy smiled. "Let's get you downstairs baby."

Tommy and Andy took a hand each to lead Madeline downstairs. They went down the stairs one at a time to avoid accidents and sat Maddie down at the island when they arrived. Thomas fetched a granola bar from the cabinet and handed it to her.

"Sorry, sweetie. We don't have time for anything else," he apologized.

Maddie shrugged and opened the wrapper, eating the granola bar reluctantly but without protest.

Just then, a rap came at the front door before it swung open to reveal the comical character that is the Riddler. Madeline immediately noticed his odd attire, finding it remarkably similar to her daddy's, except opposite. The strange man wore a green suit with purple accents, like the purple question mark on his green bowler hat. She tilted her head in question at his appearance, wondering if he was her daddy's brother or something. Wouldn't that make him my uncle?

Frosty appeared behind the stranger, comforting Maddie the slightest bit. Frosty wouldn't let a strange man in the house. This guy must be supposed to be here.

"You must be the Madeline I've been hearing so much about," Riddler greeted with a sly grin.

"Yes," Maddie answered cautiously, looking at Frost for guidance. When he nodded encouragingly, she became a little bit more trusting, though she knew that she would feel a lot more comfortable if her daddy was there with her. Just as the thought entered her head, Joker appeared out of nowhere as if her thought alone had summoned him to her side.

"Edward. How are you this lovely morning?" J asked, sickeningly sweet.

"I'm doing fine," replied Riddler, courteous as ever, though wary of Joker's sudden kindness.

"Madeline," J said, addressing his ward for the first time. "This is Eddy. He will be tutoring you until I deem you educated enough for his services to no longer be required."

"Like that would ever happen," Riddler muttered to himself.

"What's tutoring?" Maddie asked.

"It's private teaching sweetheart," Andy replied quickly, noticing the mounting annoyance of the two psychopaths. "Edward is going to teach you new things that don't have to do with fighting. Remember what Tommy and I told you earlier?"

Madeline nodded slowly, still not entirely understanding, but she agreed anyway to soothe the two volatile men in the room. She didn't even know Riddler yet and she already knew to be wary of him and his own psychosis, let alone her daddy's.

"Where would you like me to work?" Riddler asked once the room was silent.

"The dining room should be fine. Thomas, Andrew, go get her set up there," J ordered. The trio quickly obeyed, hurrying out of the foyer. "Remember, Eddy boy, if it's too much for you to handle, you can always quit. No one will blame you for it."

Riddler snarled before storming out after Madeline and her caretakers. Joker just snorted and turned to his head honcho.

"Bring the car around. I'm getting laid tonight," he smirked. Frosty shook his head and went to get the Lambo.

Back in the dining room, Andy and Tommy had been kicked out by the egomaniac and Maddie was sat across from him at the dining table.

"So tell me, young Madeline, what have you been taught so far?" Riddler asked conversationally.

"Well I know how to shoot a gun and punch good," she started, Riddler cringing at her bad grammar.

"I'm sorry, I wasn't clear. What have you learned academically?" Eddy clarified.

"What's academically?" Madeline asked. He sighed heavily.

"Academics are intelligence, intellect, knowledge, smarts," he began listing synonyms.

"What are those?" Maddie wondered.

"Those," Riddler replied, clenching his fists, "are things having to do with learning things like your letters and numbers."

"Letters and numbers? What are those?" She continued to question.

Riddler saw red. How does a girl of her age not already know such quintessential facts? She should be doing basic arithmetic by now.

"Guess that's where we're starting today then," he gritted out between clenched teeth.

"Let's start with the alphabet. The alphabet is the name for all of the letters used in words. Each letter in a word represents a sound in it. Your name, Madeline, has a bunch of sounds right?" She nodded at this point in Edward's explanation. "Each sound has a letter. Let's work on that."

An hour later, Madeline had grasped the concept of phonetics and knew the letters for some of the sounds. Riddler found himself already exhausted at that point, and she didn't even know the entire alphabet yet.

"Are you my uncle?" She asked suddenly.

Riddler spit out the water he'd received from a random goon. "What would make you think that?" He gasped.

"Well, you both like green and purple, but you like green more and he likes purple more. You both wear silly outfits. You also get mad really quickly and smile a lot," Maddie explained, cocking her head to one side as she examined the Riddler further.

Riddler choked when he realized how right she was.

"I figured that you must be his brother or something. You're too young to be his daddy but too old to be his son," she continued, Edward cringing when she insinuated him being Joker's daddy.

"I am not his brother. Nor am I any of the other relations you mentioned. We have no blood relation whatsoever," Riddler negated.

"Oh, so you guys are stepbrothers then, huh? I guess you act alike, not look alike so it makes sense. Can I call you Uncle Eddy?" Maddie asked innocently. Riddler spluttered, unable to respond quickly enough.

"Then it's settled. What's next, Uncle Eddy?" She wondered, resting her chin in her hands cutely.

Riddler ran a hand down his face and realized that this was not an argument he could win. Not right now at least. Perhaps when I know the girl's deepest, darkest secrets I can bring this up again.

So Edward proceeded to teach Madeline the rest of the alphabet in the span of a few hours, stopping for snacks in between, of course. Riddler tried to make it as relatable as possible. A for Andy, B for brother, C for cute, D for Daddy, E for Eddy and so forth. He was so exhausted at the finish that he couldn't even be bothered to ask the girl a riddle. She had been driving him up the wall the whole time that he'd been teaching, getting distracted just about every minute.

"Am I done now, Uncle Eddy?" Maddie asked, still bursting with energy.

"Yes," he groaned, standing up to stretch and crack his back. His hat lay discarded on the table and his cane was leaning up against the chair he'd been sitting in.

"Andy! Tommy! I know the alphabet! A B C D E F G, H I J K LMNOP!" She sang loudly.

Riddler couldn't help but chuckle as he picked up his bowler hat and set it on his head, sweeping up his cane as he headed towards the front door.

"You!" He ordered a nearby henchman. "Drive me home."

"Yeah, right," the fool snorted. "You ain't my boss so I sure as hell don't have to listen to you."

"I don't believe you understand, so I'll rephrase it so a heathen such as yourself can comprehend. I just spent the last five hours teaching a hellion the alphabet. I have no patience left to give, and my puzzle rooms are woefully empty at the moment. I doubt your boss would miss having a useless ignoramus like you around. Get the picture?" Riddler snarled.

The man shook his head yes rapidly and went off to fetch a car for the homicidal maniac. Eddy just smirked. The poor fools. -------------------------------------------A/NHello hello hello! I'm from the Midwest and I'm curious. Where is everyone from? Do I have any international readers? Hit me up in the comments!Gingy