Three

Joker would have never expected what he found when he came to check on Madeline some time later.

First off, Johnny wasn't standing guard in front of her door, which might have sent him into a fit of rage and aggression had J not considered that he was probably with the girl or off getting something for her. You have to calm down and think before you go off on a murderous rampage.

Second, there were giggles coming from the bedroom, muffled by the door. That would not have been so strange had they belonged to a certain little girl, but no, these were most certainly male giggles emanating from the bedroom.

Joker's eyes narrowed in suspicion, and not a little confusion at the situation, his nonexistent eyebrows furrowing as he frowned. On edge from Maddie's 'welcoming' the day before, he busted the door open—though it wasn't locked—to reveal one of the most hilarious scenes he thought he'd ever encountered.

Somehow—J didn't really care to know —Madeline had roped his best goon along with two others into sitting in tiny pink plastic chairs around a little pink table covered by a plastic tea set and real snack cakes as Maddie served them invisible tea from the teapot. That wasn't it though, oh no. The goons were also all donned in sparkly tiaras and boas with nails painted pink or purple, fake sipping from empty tea cups like it was tea time with the Queen at a drag club. The best part had to be that the goons—even Frost—looked really into the little tea party, laughing and playing with Maddie without a care in the world.

That all ended, of course, the moment the door was kicked open. The goons all froze in shock, looking like kids with their hand caught in the cookie jar. Maddie, too, stopped what she was doing, pausing mid-pour.

"Boss," Johnny coughed, clearing his throat as he stood up quickly from his seat, causing it to tip back and fall with a clatter. All of the goons looked increasingly terrified; even Johnny appeared on edge.

That is until Joker could no longer contain his laughter and began to hysterically cackle at what he had walked into. He fell to the floor, wheezing for breath as he howled with laughter at the hilarity of the situation. Soon enough Maddie's giggling could also be heard while the goons nervously sat and fidgeted. J opened his eyes—which had begun to tear up at the strength of his laughs—only to see Mad's upside down face leaning over his, her broad smile nearly splitting her face. There was a twinkle in her eye, and that's when Joker knew that he was really and truly fucked.

"Daddy! I knew you'd come! Andy and Tommy and Johnny said you wouldn't but you did! Come on! I've got a seat ready for you and I saved the best crown and boa for you, too!" She chattered excitedly, holding up a sparkly purple boa and tiara.

Joker sat up quickly, barely avoiding knocking heads with the girl. Fuck. How do I get out of this? Think fast, J, or you're screwed.

"While that's very sweet of you princess," J said with fake seriousness, "I actually came here to tell you that it's time for dinner and then bed."

Excellent move. You pulled the Dad card on her.

Shut up. No one was talking to you. Joker frowned, distracted, and then forced himself back to the present, where Madeline was pouting, but thankfully not crying. Yet.

"But Daddy," she whined.

Joker's face darkened threateningly, the goons in the room became closer to pissing themselves than before, and Johnny felt bad about the rage that was soon to be unleashed upon the girl.

"Don't you start this shit with me, missy. I'm the one in charge here. Me, not you. And when I say no, I fucking mean no! Do I make myself clear?" Joker demanded harshly.

"Yes Daddy," Madeline trembled. Suddenly J stood, brightening immediately, and it was like the rest of the tension in the room dissolved with his temper.

"Good. Tea time's over. Frosty, get us some food, yeah?" He ordered cheerily before leaving the room like nothing had happened, leaving the rest confused by the sudden mood swing.

Maddie, close to crying before, was now at a loss. Hadn't he just been screaming at her? How could he suddenly become so happy? I thought he was happy and laughing before he got angry too. How does he change feelings so quickly?

Frost, however, was accustomed to the Joker's psychotic moodiness, though he would never say that he understood it. He quickly shed his sparkly outfit and left the once carefree environment to do his boss's bidding, disregarding his painted nails and leaving a stunned Andy and Tommy to console Madeline. She looked about ready to throw some kind of fit, and though the two newbies didn't know much, they did know that they would need to defuse the situation as quickly as possible—if they wanted to continue breathing, that is.

"Don't worry about it, Maddie. He gets upset very easy sometimes, so he'll just flip like a switch. But once he feels better, he'll switch back to being happy again," Tommy soothed as he stood up slowly, running a hand through his short hair.

"But why?" Mad wondered, tilting her head.

"That's just the way he is, sweetie," came Tommy's reply.

"Why?" Asked Madeline stubbornly.

"Because," Andy butted in. "He gets distracted very easily. Now let's get all this cleaned up and ready for dinner, and then maybe afterwards Tommy and I will get Frosty to buy you some of those movies we were talking about."

Andy had successfully distracted her from her eternal why's, mentally sighing in relief. He was old enough to remember his youngest brother's 'why' phase and the absolute hell it had been. Changing the subject was pretty much the only way out, he'd discovered.

The trio picked up the tea set and dress up items rather quickly, despite the hindrance that Madeline proved to be on the process. The two goons also advised her to go to her closet and pick out some pajamas to change into so she wouldn't get her new favorite dress dirty. The little girl agreed happily, skipping into the closet and closing the door to get changed.

"Damn. What have we gotten ourselves into?" Tommy sighed, leaning against the wall.

"A right mess, that's for sure. I don't know what all this is about, but it can't be good," Andy muttered, staying huddled close to Tommy so that their hushed conversation wouldn't travel to the closet or the hall.

"You know we didn't have much choice," Tommy pointed out.

"So we turned to a life of crime under a psychotic super criminal?" Andy retorted, rolling his eyes.

"We had no other options, Drew. No where else would hire us because of who we are. And besides, technically we haven't committed any crimes," Thomas returned.

"Yet. How long until one of us gets killed by him or someone else, on a job or not? So what if we've only been guards so far? We're still technically aiding a criminal," Andrew argued, crossing his arms as he whispered harshly at his boyfriend, shaking his head and causing his shaggy hair to flop around.

"Andy—" Tommy pleaded, but stopped abruptly when the closet door opened.

"All ready!" Maddie cheered as she stepped into the room in a green cupcake onesie. She quickly picked up on the tension between her two new friends and froze, worried. It wasn't uncommon on the streets that people took out their emotions on her or other homeless children nearby.

"I'm sorry, are you guys mad at me?" She asked fearfully, shying away when the couple turned to look at her. Both of their angry expressions softened when they saw the distress illustrated on hers.

"No no no, of course not sweetie," Tommy assured her quickly, moving over to her, but stopped when she flinched.

"We were just having a grown up talk baby, nobody's upset with you," Andy agreed as he crouched down in front of her.

Madeline nodded slowly, not quite believing either of them, but trusting them not to harm her. After all, they'd seemed to love her tea party!

"Okay!" She said brightly, sidetracked. "Is the food ready?"

"Should be close at least," Andy answered kindly. "Why don't we head on down and see?"

"Yay!" She shouted, happily grabbing each of their hands and tugging them downstairs after her as they chuckled at her enthusiasm.

"Slow down there, kiddo. We wouldn't want you to fall and hurt yourself," Tommy warned gently, tugging her hand some to slow her down as they neared the top of the stairs.

"Okay," Maddie relented, slowing a little and hanging on tightly to Tommy's hand as they went down the stairs. Both men sighed in relief at her obedience. It certainly made their jobs a whole hell of a lot easier.

As the trio reached the bottom of the stairs they immediately noticed the nice aroma circulating through the lower level, which was certainly a welcome and drastic change from the norm. The norm, of course, was a combination of blood, death, filth, and BO. Andy inhaled appreciatively at the change in smell. Though he and his companion had only been with the Joker for a couple of weeks, they had quickly noticed the stench of the hideout. The only reason Maddie hadn't been as affected was her background of living in filth and garbage on the streets of Gotham, so to her especially the nice smell was new and lovely to her sensitive little nose.

The three new friends continued on into the kitchen, which was where the yummy smells were coming from. They were surprised to discover that Johnny himself was the wondrous chef, even if all he was cooking was spaghetti (with his nails still painted a lovely lavender). Andy helped Maddie to sit down at the kitchen table, having to grab an old, yellowing phone book that was lying around to use as a booster seat so she could reach the table properly. Tommy himself sat down across from Mad and next to Andy, who patted his thigh comfortingly as he sat down. Joker, as of yet, was nowhere to be seen. Thankfully, noted Andrew.

As Frost came to the table with the spaghetti pot in hand, Madeline licked her lips longingly as she stared at the delicious meal he held. It was when Johnny brought the pan of sauce to the table that Joker emerged from his hole of an office so that he could eat. Silence reigned in the kitchen as the king approached, looking frustrated. Ideas hadn't really been flowing for the madman as of late, and it was beginning to tick him off. He'd probably need to pay a little visit to a certain someone in the basement later on to relieve some tension. And if that doesn't work, he smirked, I could always hit up that blonde from the club the other night. What was her name? Tara? Taylor? I know it started with a T...

Joker took his seat at the head of the table as Johnny kindly ladled some spaghetti and sauce into Maddie's bowl for her. J watched incredulous as Frost plopped down next to Madeline and began to eat his own spaghetti.

"Well where's my star treatment?" He demanded of no one in particular.

All three henchmen's eyes widened at his statement and Frosty was quick to stand back up and apologetically give his boss a serving of the meal he'd prepared. J smirked and chuckled lightly at his expense, quelling the angry feelings in his chest as he did so.

"You're all so jumpy," he laughed. "You'd think you were living with a psychopath or something."

Andy chuckled nervously and Frosty sat down again to dish out his own serving. Maddie hadn't sensed any of the tension at the table and happily continued eating—or rather—trying to eat. This was her first time eating spaghetti, and she was seriously struggling with trying to get it onto her fork. Just as Tommy was about to step in, she abandoned her fork entirely and grabbed a fistful of spaghetti, shoving it into her mouth. She hummed happily as she chewed on her food, sauce covering the bottom half of her face.

The adults in the room had all been watching the girl, noticing her trouble, and they couldn't help but freeze. Andy snorted under his breath, but surprisingly nothing was said to the girl (mostly because no one knew what to say). That is, until Maddie gave up on her hands as well and just face planted into her pasta bowl and began eating like a little piglet.

"Oh fuck this," Joker laughed, tossing aside his fork.

His goons turned to face him, confused by his outburst. Madeline, meanwhile, was still hungrily eating her dinner in the same manner as before. All Frost could do was raise an eyebrow as his renowned maniacal boss threw his face into his bowl of spaghetti. All three henchmen were at a loss as to what they should do about the situation. Tommy turned to Andy as if to ask Should we do that too?

Andy shrugged noncommittally in response and his companion smirked, setting down his fork and casting a meaningful look at his bowl. Andy shook his head, knowing instinctively what Tom planned to do. He also knew that if his guy joined in, he would be basically forced to as well. Thomas just smirked again and planted his gorgeous mug into his spaghetti, muffing it around to properly eat it all up.

Frosty shrugged, already having accepted that this would be the likely outcome. He set his fork down gingerly, dabbed at his face with a napkin, and began to eat his food in the neatest way possible while still only using his mouth. Andrew put his head in his hands and groaned quietly. Fuck my life. Then, resignedly, he too set down his fork and continued to eat his spaghetti using only his face.