Chapter 24

The next few days went by in a blur. Casey helped me fix my room up, but the dresser was a total loss. My clothes laid in neat folded piles on the floor. The air was tight between us, but we were trying. I couldn't bring myself to call him dad, so I kept calling him Casey. It was all I'd ever known to call him and anything else felt wrong on my tongue, for now. But I knew the truth. He was my father, I was his daughter. And the more that that truth sunk in, the less it stung and the more it was comforting to know one of my parents was still here. He loved me, he'd always loved me. The depth of love I'd seen in his eyes all those times before finally made sense. The way he cared so much about me even as I'd pushed him away and hated him. It used to repel me but now I saw it for what it was, unconditional, the kind only a parent could bestow. We had a long road ahead of us, but I was willing to walk it with him. I watched the TV not really paying attention and he sat down on the couch next to me."So, are you gonna make me ask about Raph?" He asked making my blood run cold."I don't want to talk about it." I deadpanned.He sighed. He'd gone over a few times but didn't say anything about any of them when he'd come back."He's a wreck Miya. It's like he's a teenager again. He won't talk to anyone without biting their heads off and all he does is pound at that old punching bag."I tried not to but my heart squeezed knowing he was hurting like I was."Good." "Look, I'm not exactly happy about you two together, but when I came back..I wasn't lying when I said you looked different." I closed my eyes and balled my fists against the couch."Please don't." "I know you don't want to hear it but he needs you. And I think you need him too." "He lied to me." Casey snorted."Because he knew it wasn't his secret to tell. What was he supposed to do? He didn't even know if I was coming back. Then you would have known that I was your dad and I would be gone too." I didn't like it but something like understanding bloomed in my chest. I didn't want to understand his reasoning, didn't want to let go of the anger because if I did..I would have to admit that I was running away. Running away from Raph and everything he'd forced me to feel just like he'd accused me of."Just think about it." He said patting my leg and getting up. I tried to pretend to watch TV but I couldn't. Casey had planted the seeds and they were taking hold, fast. I slept awfully that night, tossing and turning in my bed unable to actually rest. When I woke up, I yanked on leggings and a long sleeve and pulled my hair into a tight ponytail eager to disperse the pent-up energy. "Going for a run?" Casey asked when I walked into the living room."No, I'm going to France." I snapped.Instead of looking annoyed, a small smirk played on his lips. "Okay, well bring me back a souvenir." He said as I jogged out the door. I ran my usual route, though sprinted was more accurate. It was like I was trying to run away from myself.From Raph, but I always ended up not running fast enough, so I pushed myself harder, angry music blaring in my ears. I stopped at an intersection and waited for the light to change. I could go left or I could go right. Left, led me through the park, while right.. took me past the pizza parlor, the manhole that we took to the lair just behind it. My heart doubled its already galloping speed and before I knew it I was sprinting, full on knees to chest to the right. My feet slapped the ground and a smile broke out of my face. I choose right.I was tired of running. I chose Raph. I all but jumped down into the dark sewer and took off down the tunnels. Rounding corners so fast my feet almost slipped on the damp concrete a few times. I grabbed the door and flung it open, racing inside and ripping my ear buds out."Miya?" Donnie asked surprised. "Miya!" Leo and Mikey said together standing up from the couch."Where's Raph?" I asked panting."He's in the dojo."I headed for it without greeting them back."I wouldn't go in there.." Donnie warned thinking I was here to start a fight.I ignored him and flung the door open to see Raph slamming his fists into the punching bag like it owed him money. Headphones on his head, wraps on his hands and a murderous look on his face. Before I could lose my nerve I walked across the mat towards him and pulled his headphones off."Hey!" The outburst died on his tongue when he saw me, a flash of a million emotions on his face. Ending with anger. "What are you doing here? Surprised you didn't skip town." He said turning back to the punching bag and resuming his swings."I did actually. I came back." He ignored me."I need to tell you something." More punches. More ignoring me. I stepped into his line of fire and his fist stopped centimeters from my chest. "Move." He growled."No." He snarled and shoved me out of the way. I grabbed his arm and held on refusing to let him bully me into backing down. My defiance seemed to add gasoline to his fire.He grabbed me by the front of my shirt and hauled me off my feet bringing me up to his level. I held onto his arm to keep from sliding down through my shirt."What do you want? You miss my cock?" He barked at me, rage contorting his face.You were a good fuck. I never wanted anything more than your dick.I flinched as he hurled my words back at me."I'm sorry for what I said. It was awful." I said fighting back tears at the distant look in his eyes, one that said I was too late. He wouldn't forgive me. He dropped me to the ground and turned away, telling me to leave. "I lied!" I yelled after him. "I wanted to hurt you because I was hurt to, The truth is.." He paused, his hands balled into fists and glanced at me over his shoulder. "I love you." I thought saying it out loud would be painful and embarrassing but instead it felt like a caged bird finally being released into the sky.Effortless and freeing. "I love you and it scared me and I-" My words were cut off by him grabbing me around the waist and yanking me into him, his lips crashing into mine like he needed me to breathe. His hands cupped my face and I wrapped my arms around his neck pulling him closer. Needing him as close as I could get because I'd come so close to losing him and he still didn't feel real.There was no lust, no biting or feral moans. Just love. He pulled away and his thumbs wiped the tears at my cheeks."Say it again." I let out a shaky breath, now feeling a little bashful under his undivided attention but I smiled and did as he asked submitting to it all, even if I ended up hurt again. I'd stopped living before to avoid pain but I had been selfish, casting that pain to the people around me that I loved. I wasn't going to be selfish anymore, I wasn't going to be afraid. He was worth the risk. "I love you Raph." He kissed me again, murmuring that he loved me into my lips and the rest of the world faded away, and it was just us.