Chapter 23

I sat on a Greyhound bus and waited for it to pull off.My headphones plugged into my ears drowned out the noise of passengers shuffling into their seats. I only had a small nest egg that my mom had been saving for me when she found out she was sick, but this bus ticket was well worth the money I'd taken from it. I watched as evening turned into night and the lights from the city blurred as the bus made its way out of downtown. Fresh tears pooled in my eyes, and I bit the insides of my cheeks to keep them at bay. Fuck this place. Fuck the city. It held nothing for me anymore.

::;

I walked.I walked until my feet hurt, venturing away from the bus station. The sun was starting to peek up from under the horizon and I yawned.Every time I had started to drift off to sleep, Raph would flash in my mind.Or Casey. Every laugh, every tear. They hurricaned in my mind keeping me awake. Now I was walking down through my old hometown with a duffel bag on my shoulder. A few strangers slowed down and asked if I needed a ride. One in particular seemed a little too eager and I half thought to take him up on the offer just so I could pound him when and if he tried something.Bloodying my hands sounded good. It sounded better than good actually, but when I declined, he simply drove away much to my disappointment. I stopped finally. In front of a single-story home with a wrap-around porch. The windows were boarded up and a foreclosed sign was still picketed in the yard but it still looked like my home. Time hadn't ravaged it yet. They didn't even have the decency to move a new family into it, the bank took it and now they were just letting it rot. To them it was merely another vacant lot. Too much money to fix it up. I pushed through the front gate and with each step I could hear my child like laughter, see my mom running around behind me. Christmases where Casey stopped by and built snowmen with me. Sitting on the porch steps with my mom eating our favorite popsicles, the summer sun making her hair shine like gold personified. My first day of school. My last day of school. I stopped on the front porch and sank to my knees, letting the tears come freely now. I lay on the chipped painted wood panels and cried for every single thing that hurt me.

::;

"Miya." I cracked my puffy eyes open and groaned at the headache that pounded in my temples.Dehydration from crying too much. Pathetic.Casey kneeled in front of me, shaking my leg.I must have fallen asleep.I sat up and leaned against the tiered panels of the house."Thought you might come here." He said sitting down in front of me."It is my house." I said before realizing that wasn't true. "Or it was." He sniffed."You know, I've got a house out here too. A farmhouse. I bought it to stay close to you..the turtles and I use it sometimes when we want to get away from the city." At the mention of the turtles, a painful pang went through my heart. "Are you okay?" He asked softly.I looked at him. What a ludicrous question. "No." He nodded but didn't say anything more. I looked at him, really looked at him. We had the same nose. Same eyes. Same hair. I must have been an idiot for not noticing before.My mom was bright blonde, green-eyed and curvy, while I was tall and slim like..my dad. "She told me my dad left when I was a baby. Never talked about him no matter how much I asked. I guess now I know why." I said surprising myself.He flinched a little."I'm not proud of leaving her. It was one of my biggest mistakes. My second was not fighting for you." I snapped my head away, not wanting to see the guilt on his face. "She was trying to protect you. I had a habit of leaving. But I wanted to stay, I wanted you to know who I was." I looked back at him swallowing the lump that was back."Please don't hate me." He said coarsely."She died. A shell of herself. The only person in that hospital room was me. She took her last breath, and I was the only one there to hold her hand." I said surprised my body had more tears to send to my eyes."She never told me she was sick. I didn't even know she died until one of our mutual friends called me. I didn't know, I swear Miya." I crossed my arms over my chest protectively. "I came back for you." I couldn't help the sob that came from me."I didn't fight for you when you were a kid. I let you down, and I'll never be able to take that back. But I promise, I'll fight for you the rest of my life." I stared at him with blurry eyes. "I promise. I'll never lie to you. Never let you down. Even if you hate me forever, I'll be there in case one day you don't." Tears flowed down his cheeks freely and no matter how much betrayal I felt at the world right now, I knew it was the truth. I launched myself into his arms and he wrapped me in a hug so tight that I thought he might be worried I'd change my mind. "I'm so sorry." He spoke softly into my hair while gently rocking me as I sobbed into his hoodie. "I love you Miya.""I love you too." I hiccuped between cries, and he held me like I was five years old again.