31: Gone

💚This is second to the last chapter!💚--------

The Lan brothers became more distant.

Wangji does not want to resent his brother, but he is only human needing someone to blame, someone to put the pressure into specially during the though times when Wuxian still remained unconscious with a vague upshot.

Xi Chen however, forebearingly understands. He's aware of his sin, and though the law has spared him, he is trying to atone with self-penance. He stayed with Wangji despite the cold treatment, cared for Wuxian irregardless, and started devoting himself in the act of kindness, expiated by moral debt by offering free care and community work.

He knew time can only tell whether Wangji and Wuxian can finally forgive him.

Wuxian? He hasn't woken up yet. He is sleeping peacefully, the carers say. He is recovering, healing while asleep they console. But aren't they just empty reassurances?

His inactivity, his closed eyes, his unstable vitals, and his cold-motionless fingers in Wangji's perpetual hold only gives Wangji restless consolation.

He was d*mn afraid that Wuxian will slip away any second. So, he stubbornly stayed at his side round-the-clock, holding his hand while zealously watching him sleep.

Wangji will whisper in his ears too often, encouraging him to come back. He will say 'I love you', the same frequency he says he was sorry for leaving his side. "Forgive me, Wei Ying." He wouldn't leave him again, he had promised again and again.

What Wuxian will never know throughout these difficult times was how Wangji trudged through the thick snow to-and-from the hospital to stay by his side and hold his hand. The meals he had skipped, the work he had abandoned, the exhausting nights he didn't sleep, the people who cared and he'd dismissed.

He will never know the lonely Lan Zhan who yearned for his Wei Ying. His pain, his hopelessness and his desolation as he waited for him to wake up.

No way will he ever know what Wangji felt sitting next to him, constantly checking the machines connected to him and the beeping monitors, trying to calm himself that Wuxian is still alive.

Wuxian will never have the idea how he had loved him though not knowing whether he will survive or not.

Days passed, Wangji was at the brink of a mental breakdown when Editor Nie Huaisang visited. Once he had heard of the tragic incident, he came rushing to do his part.

He was an integral character in Wuxian's careful plot after all. He was tasked to be the one to close Wuxian and Wangji's story. The one to write the 'Fin.'.

The editor carried a book with him. Wuxian's last gift for Wangji. The one and only edition of Wuxian's latest work, he had proclaimed.

'The Writer's Scheme', Wuxian's last piece of art in a form of a well-written novel about his first and only love. How he orchestrated his strategem to win back the great love he had lost once.

It was romantic, a bit fantastical but true to life.

The writer, it seems, had kept notes, kept tabs of their everyday lives of togetherness. Wuxian didn't want to forget a single thing about their love, thus, he did what he does best. That is, to write.

He began with writing a phrase or two of how perfectly Godlike Detective Lan's physique and face were, the firstsight-first love impression which started it all. Then the devil comes from the details of Wangji's unflawed whole being, filling in chapters after another.

Wuxian had fallen for him hard, irrevocably. Wangji's promises and sweet words were his hymns, spellbinding.

Wuxian detailed the feelings that swirl in his chest as he gazes at Wangji's amber eyes. He had described the taste of the other's lips, the tingle his touches gives.

He had also written how he had loved his Lan Zhan's deep, silvery voice. The coldness in it which thaws and turns soft when it was meant for his Wei Ying.

He had written what he saw, what he heard, what he tasted, and what he felt.

He had poured his soul in that couple of inches thick hardback.

That book is exclusively for Wuxian and Wangji alone. The novel Wuxian had never intended to share to anyone except to his Lan Zhan. Comical. He had loved Wangji just like that: possessive, selfish, obsessed.

Wangji wasted no moment and flipped the very first page. He had almost bawled his eyes out right there and then recognising the familiar handwritten scrawl.

My dearest Lan Zhan, the acknowledgement page started and Wangji felt like he was hearing Wuxian's voice cooing the sweet endearment.

When you receive this, I might be no more. Wangji's chest tightened. He couldn't bare even to imagine being parted from Wuxian like that.

None of these is your fault. They are all mine. So, please you can feel anything but not pity or guilt. How could Wangji not blame himself? How can he put the blame on the selfless Wei Ying who had taken all the weight on his shoulders? Pity? Guilt? Wangji was tormented!

I am now free you see. Free from all the burdens of the past. Free from the guilt which builds up over time. Most importantly, free from hurting you again.

'But here you are hurting me again, Wei Ying.' Wangji's tears blurred his sight.

This book is for you to keep, to remind you of me...of us.

Please know that I have loved you with all of me, my Lan Zhan. With my mind, heart, body and soul, I only belong to you, my love.

There's so much more words I wanted to say, but so little time. So, I will just tell you the important ones.

I am sorry.

I love you.

Forgive me.

Yours forever, Wei Ying.

These words were simple but the impact severe.

Not in a million years will Wuxian know that Wangji kept reading the same words that had etched deep into him...maiming his conscience, milling his heart.

But the great affliction didn't stop in there.

What Wangji did not expect is the coming of two figures who would take away even that privilege to stay by Wuxian's side.

Wangji wanted to stop them from taking him. But what right has he has on him against them?

Mr. Wei casted a look at him, hostile with an air of arrogance, reminding Wangji of Wuxian's temper whenever he was annoyed. The similarities of father and son were uncanny.

Meanwhile, Mrs. Wei came to him like a loving mother-figure, taking his hands on hers, smiling a bit although looking worn out. "I hope we had not met in such a sad situation, my child." Her voice were soft and Wangji remembered Wuxian's voice when he speaks softly at him. "Thank you for loving our child." She said.

Their meeting was brief and they had taken Wuxian with them as they went. To the States, they said. Where the 'best' doctors and cutting-edge medical facilities are. "A-Ying might have better prognosis and survival in there.", Mrs. Wei kindly explained.

Wangji quietly teared up as Wuxian was being wheeled away from him. He loves him but this time he has no right to interfere: Him and Wuxian had broken up before the accident took place. His own brother was also the assailant and the reason for Wuxian's state. Not to disregard, Wuxian's father seems to outrightly dislike him too. Why wouldn't he? Wangji is just a speck of dust, a sore for their eyes, a nobody.

"My child, if the stars destined both of you to be together, you will meet once more and can continue the love you've both started. But for now, let it be a brief parting. I too hope that this is not a goodbye, but a see you again." Mrs. Wei told Wangji benevolently before the Wei's left for good.

Gone. Wuxian was gone from Wangji's life just like that, unforeseeing the exact turn of events the future holds for them both.

It's not that Wangji did not try to find him or did not try to be with him again.

Wangji followed their course, searched for his love. But Wuxian wasn't where he was supposed to be.

He came in a bit too late, the hospital assistant said and Wangji can only bitterly cuss the Heavens for that.

He knew destiny is playing with them, testing how far he'd go into finding his way back into Wei Ying's arms. And Wangji swore fate's tricks won't beat him. Not this time.

Though their story contained separation, ups and downs, hurt and tears, he won't let go this time. Not again.

--------A/N:

🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️It looks worse than the first I published. 🤦🏻‍♀️Hopefully, I can still edit this soon 🤷🏻‍♀️Please don't judge yet, I will probably edit this again 🥴

11to13-Sept-2021