30: Wangji's Secret

Lan Xi Chen's body thrashed against the wall, his scruff pinned in a tight grip by the little baby brother of his, whom he had never seen so wrathful.

He looked at Wangji, hurt more severe seeing the range of emotions playing on those molten gold orbs, the same pair of eyes as their mother's.

"Why?! Why did you do it?!" Wangji gritted fighting the urge to land a punch against his own brother's face. "Why brother?!" He choked out as relentless tears rimmed his eyelids.

The older gave himself defeatedly over to tears and heartbreak he had been quielty carrying on his own in the past twelve years. Letting it all go, Xi Chen mumbled with a soft look, "Because he's the reason why our parents died."

Wangji almost lost his balance with the impact of the words said. The mention of their parents was his greatest weakness, their accident, his worst nightmare, while Wuxian's inclusion in that ordeal was more than what his heart can take.

He waved Xi Chen away, pulling himself afar while retreating inwards, as the truth spilled right on his face.

Xi Chen, although feeling sympathy, held nothing more. He freely let the past re-run and be retold as they were seen by him. From the accident, the police findings, how their parents died in his incapable hands while Wuxian survived and continued to live. "If Wuxian did not unduly drove that car! If he wasn't the heir of the Wei's! We wouldn't have lost both Mom and Dad!" This was the cruelty Xi Chen had spared Wangji throughout the years, but finally, at last, he had shared this burden wholly and honestly for his brother to weigh and judge on his own.

Still, it didn't felt right.

The older Lan compassionately watched how his brother was crushed, how he wobbled and legs buckled. He wanted to collect him in his arms for some comfort, but can he still do it? Is he still allowed to do it? Xi Chen was shattered: head bowed down, shoulder hunched while he silently cried for their misfortunes and griefs.

The younger was no good either. Wangji ungracefully crumpled on the floor, mind getting numb from all the inconceivable facts that stabbed right though him. His eyes remained glazed and glassy, blank and dilated, visualising the bloodied and lifeless bodies of their mom and dad. His tears streaked down uncontrolled. He choked on his cries and felt like drowning from the lack of breath. Wangji wanted pull his heart and lungs out to stop this agony.

His body pitifully slumped at a corner, vivid recollections playing in his head. For what it's worth, the day he had last seen his parents alive came to memory and his mind wandered off as he relived them.

He can still feel the slight tickle from his mom's lips kissing him in the forehead and the warmth of her body as she hugged him dearly. "Be a good boy and wait for us, baby, alright?"

"Come home quick!" The 12 years old Wangji buried his face on his mom's neck, not wanting to let them go.

"We sure will, my boy! We will be back before you know it." His father kissed him on the forehead too, and the two adults waved him goodbye walking hand in hand towards their white car.

'They did not fulfill their promise! They did not come back!' Wangji bitterly cried, closing his eyes as the flashback of his brother coming home unkempt and full of blood on his usually pristine white robes kneeled on his front and hugged him while crying his heart out. "They're gone. They're not coming back. Mom and Dad, they've left us."

There, in that moment, their lives changed forever. The brothers rarely meet. While Xi Chen hardly goes home and turned workaholic, the warm Wangji turned cold and impassive building his emotional and mental defense walls that none ever since had managed to break through.

Their grief, their loss, can't be more raw than that gruelling pain. It persisted and stayed, tainting even the best memories of the lovely family they once had.

But like Xi Chen, Wangji knew something his brother didn't know of.

Time slips by until he had finally decided, taking courage like his brother did.

Wangji stood up, pulled a chair besides Wuxian's bed and hold the unmoving pale hand of his beloved.

"Brother," he called ever so softly like a whisper and Xi Chen heed him without question. "Don't you know why I became a police officer?"

Xi Chen thought hard and finally shook his head. He had never asked him why.

Wangji placed Wuxian's palm on his cheek and closed his eyes feeling the faint pulse pulsating on his wrist. When his eyes opened, he looked at Cheng and a little smile played in his lips. "I wanted to investigate our parents' accident. Was it really an accident?"

"Y-You--! You did NOT!" Cheng pointed, freaked out and stunned while Wangji laughed mirthless for a brief moment. "I checked the records." He sounded proud. "Our parents car was new that time, remember?" Xi Chen looked at him in full attention. "Later that year several other cars of the same manufacturer and model faced the same accident. Auto defect. Rare, but it happens."

It was the first and last violation Wangji had done as a police officer. For someone who had always uphold righteousness, he regrets none of the blunder he'd made.

What he did not know was Wuxian's involvement in it. Considered as a juvenile that time, Wuxian's name was omitted on the files. Wangji did not dig deeper, because the answer he was looking for did not include the young driver. It was downright a manufacturer's defect, no more questions to be asked.

Regardless of what Xi Chen claimed that it was Wuxian's fault being a Wei, Wangji choses to stick with Wuxian, his love, his life. He pledged to love him more, love him despite playing a part with the death of his dear parents. It wasn't exactly Wuxian's fault, but without him, maybe his Mom (if not both) will still be alive?

Yet Wangji knew life is unfair, always has been and always will be. Nothing in life comes simple and easy. For him, him and Wuxian weren't merely star-crossed lovers. Their love is greater than what fate dictates, stronger than the obstacles placed before them.

He loves him and Wuxian loves him too. That's all that matters now. Didn't he promised they will sail through the storms together?

Wuxian is his soulmate, the life he breathes from the moment he fell for him, and that is Wangji's answer to all the how and whys.

No more doubting. No more lies.

He brushed Wuxian's jet black hair. He looks peaceful in his sleep. 'When are you gonna tell me everything Wei Ying? When are you gonna tell me about your sacrifices? You're trying to protect me from the truth, aren't you?You're protecting my brother too.'

"Wei Ying." He called, tenderly kissing Wuxian's ring finger with their couple promise ring on. "I'm sorry. I love you. Please come back."

"You make me feel worse, Wangji." Xi Chen broke the silence, broke the ice.

He knew he was wrong to try to kill a man, and that moment, he somewhat felt relieved too. He has no more secrets to hide and no more grudge to carry out.

He asked no more. Stopped probing. Stopped blaming. He trusted his brother's words without more vindication.

He thinly smiled at Wangji. Pure and adoring. His baby brother grew up knowing what he wants and should be fighting for. And he too, should grow and let past be bygones.

Xi Chen turned to Officer Cheng, bowing down politely, "I'll accept the punishment that will be given, Officer. I am willing to atone for my crime."

Cheng's face was inscrutable, maybe a bit shocked. He can't get over the fact that their precint's pride and most rightful officer stealthily checked classified police records for personal reasons. While the good Doctor their family has trusted over the years has turned to a murderer. These two Lan brothers are making his head throb!

Wen Ning nudged him when he did not make a reply. The Officer tsked, brows knitted, annoyed yet conflicted. He then darted his dark eyes back at the older Lan.

"Wuxian is a bad grass. The likes of him does not die fast." Cheng expressed, sounding confident though Wuxian still hasn't regained his consciousness. "And the case? It's closed. No need to fret for something that has been ended." His tone irrevocably meant finality.

He'd promised Wuxian to keep Lan Xi Chen free. They'd quarrelled and argued, but in the end Cheng compromised and agreed. It was Wuxian's last request, and he'd promised to honour it.

It was wrong in all ways, but who hadn't ever made a mistake throughout their lives? Who hadn't lied nor committed misdeeds?

-------A/N:

Next chapter's title is GONE. Yes, Wuxian would be gone.How, why and how long? Let's find out next weekend!(hopefully)

Please try my new short novel "LOVELY CAPTIVE"which you can find in my profile.It's a short story with ⚠️⚠️⚠️content, 12 chapters and completed!

29-Aug&5-Sept-2021