Part 25

We haven't shared a really long time talking to each other, although we are sharing the same roof. Tonight, we broke the record. Having a conversation like this makes me imagine things. What would he be doing if he was saved by Steve instead of those Russians? Would he be still a part of the 107th? The Howling Commandos? A great soldier? Would he be marrying a girl? Who might that be?

Thinking the last question hurts me. What if he finds someone else? His life was taken from him and that is the life of a man that he should be: marrying and building his own family.

Who am I to take it again from him? Anyway, he doesn't even love me. I'm just here to help him recover, that's all. If things change between us then, I'll accept them whatever it takes. For Bucky.

"You okay, doll?" he asked me before taking a sip of his wine.

I nodded and faked a smile. "I am"

He furrowed and shook his head as if sensing me. Those blue eyes are magnets, I can't go over losing a sight of them. I'm drowning. "Don't lie to me. Tell me what's wrong, Hayley" he reached for my hand and held it with his metal arm. "Your eyes, they don't lie"

I sobbed and a tear escaped from my eye, I thought I could contain this? Dropping my head low, I hide my tears away from Bucky's eyes but he quickly but gently lifted my face to look at him. And I didn't notice that he's already beside me, kneeling.

"I..... I can't tell you" I shook his hand off and turned away.

"Why?"

"I don't know...... It's nothing, Bucky" I bite my inner lip trying to hold back the scream in my throat.

"Please, tell me. You are making me worried. Doll, please" he turned my face again. I looked at his eyes and touched his face.

"I miss you, Bucky...... I miss you that it hurts me" I whispered.

Should I tell him?

But what if he only rejects it?

Damn, what should I do?

"Tell me what is happening?" he moved closer and held both of my hands squeezing them even tighter. Somehow, he calms the growing pain in my heart.

"I......" I closed my eyes and felt every single word I say. "I know it's not necessary and I'd be stupid to even say these words. I don't even know what you feel. But...... Bucky. I think I've fallen for you"