Chapter 12

When I wake up the first thing I notice is that Camila is missing. I immediately get scared and jump out of her bed. I look at the clock and notice it's only 6 in the morning.

"Camila?" I call out and breathe a sigh of relief when I hear her humming in the kitchen. I sneak into the kitchen and listen to her voice as she hums a familiar song. I believe it's Stay With Me by Sam Smith. I can't hear her voice very well but it sounds beautiful.

I walk up behind her and kiss her cheek. "You know.. you should really stop leaving every time we sleep together." I smile.

"Well Lauren Jauregui we haven't slept together... yet. But I am making you breakfast." she turns her head slightly to kiss me. Of course I kiss back with no resistance.

However, my heartbeat may have increased significantly at her "yet" comment. Unlike when I was with Brad, the thought of being with Camila in a more intimate way makes my stomach tingle.

"So what are you making me? Pancakes?" I ask because I absolutely love them.

"Oh god no. Pancakes are so overrated. That's like all anyone ever eats. I, my cute little girlf.. Lauren.. am making you a breakfast wrap."

She almost called me her girlfriend! I definitely caught that slip up. Does she want that? Could she possibly want that with me? I don't want to rush things with her. Well, maybe just a little.

"Yum what's in it?" I ask so she doesn't get suspicious and think I caught on.

"Eggs, tater tots, sausage and bacon. Oh and cheese. It may sound nasty but trust me it is pure gold. My mom used to make it for me all the time." she smiles sadly and I can't help but wonder why she said "used to" as in past tense.

"Did your parents get divorced or something?" I question as I watch the younger girl cooking on the stove.

"Uhm.. no she died.. when I was 10.." Her voice cracks a bit and I can tell she still isn't over it. To be honest I would never get over it either.

"What happened? If you don't mind me asking?" For a while she was quiet until she finally finished cooking breakfast and handed me my breakfast wrap.

"It was my tenth birthday... my mom and dad wanted to take me out to eat and to a park. We couldn't really afford to do anything big but it was something I looked forward to every year. My mom was pregnant at the time with a little girl. I got to choose her name.. she was going to be Sofi. So my dad is driving and we're all just singing and having a good time when out of nowhere a car comes and crashes into the car. My mom didn't have her seatbelt on because she thought it would hurt Sofi.. she ended up being flung out of the car and she died at the scene.. along with Sofi. It turns out the driver was drunk when he crashed the car. He survived too. Not so much as a scratch on him but I lost my mom and my sister.. in a way I lost my father too." I can see the tears building up in Camila's eyes and I can feel them in mine as well. I never knew that and it is absolutely heartbreaking.

This answers so many questions. It answers why she got emotional the first day of school when I asked about her being an only child, it explains why she didn't let me drive drunk, it explains why she didn't want to talk about the picture of her mom in the car and it explains why I never see her mom around.

"Is that why you started hurting yourself?"

"No.. well partly. After that, my dad started drinking a lot. He blamed me for the crash since it was my birthday and he made me believe I was guilty. He told me that it should've been me instead. Shortly after, his temper started getting really bad and he started taking it out on me.." she keeps her head down as she takes a bite of her wrap.

"What do you mean taking it out on you?" I feel my own anger starting to boil.

"He started to get abusive. Physically. First it was just words he was throwing at me, soon after it became his fists as well." I can't believe it.

"He's still doing it?"

"Yeah but he's hardly ever home. He comes home once a week if that, drinks, curses, hits me and then leaves again in the morning. I'm used to it now."

"You shouldn't be used to that Camila! Why don't you tell someone? He can go to jail for that." I say as I squeeze my fists to keep myself from snapping. It's bad enough she has to go through self harm but now this too? It's too much.

"I can't tell on him.. he's my father. I love him and I know deep down there... somewhere he loves me too." she gets up and puts her food in the fridge not bothering to eat the rest.

"So you're going to let him hurt you? Is that why you had a busted lip last week? And you were limping?" I question as I walk over to her.

"He may have slapped me in the face that day of the party and when he saw me almost kiss you he pushed me down the stairs...." she looks away and baffled.

"Are you fucking serious Camz? I'm going to kill him! You aren't staying here alone babe. Not when he's here at least." I say and cup her face.

"What did you just call me?" she smiles hugely and I'm a little confused.

"Babe?" I question but she shakes her head no. I think for a second. "You mean Camz?" I ask and she nods and wraps her arms around my waist.

"I've never had a nickname before. Well besides my mom who called me Mija and Dinah who calls me Mila or Chancho. I like Camz." she presses her lips against mine softly.

I wrap my arms around her neck and pull her closer to me as I kiss back. "You're my Camz okay? I won't let anyone hurt you." I kiss her again and she nods against my lips.

"Okay Lern Jergi" she mumbles against my lips and I can't help but laugh. "What was that you called me?" I question between laughs.

"I tried to say Lauren Jauregui but I was a little busy trying to kiss my... you.. that I said Lern Jergi instead but you know what, I like it so I'm sticking with it Lern Jergi." she winks.

"You keep saying "your...." why won't you ever finish that?" I ask as I admire her facial features.

"Because you're my friend right now. My very special friend that I enjoy kissing." she pecks my lips.

"Now it's your turn to tell me about your family." Camz stares at me with those beautiful brown eyes and I think of what to say.

"Well I have a younger brother and sister. There's Chris who has a crush on you and Taylor who kind of inspired me to come here. Then my parents who work a lot but they are great parents."

"How did Taylor inspire you to come here? Did she tell you that you were being a pussy?" Camila winks and I playfully slap her arm.

"No, the reason I treated you that way was because I guess I was just scared. I have always been afraid of what people would think, especially my parents. She just made me realize that my family will always love me and that I can't possibly think anyone will accept me if I don't accept myself. I guess I've just always wanted to make my parents proud. It's why I try so hard in school, it's why I joined cheerleading, it's my reasoning for a lot of things. I just felt like being into girls would just make me another disappointment. I don't think that anymore though because I.. I like you. A lot." I can't believe I just admitted that. I've never admitted the way I felt out loud like that and I feel so much better now that I did.

She kisses my head and pulls me towards her room. I follow eagerly and she pushes me on the bed. I bite my lip ready for what's next until she straddles me and lays on my chest. Definitely not where I saw this going but I won't complain.

I look around the room and notice a bunch of posters of people that I know she likes but I see a whole wall dedicated to someone named Larry. I don't remember her ever mentioning a Larry but in all of the pictures there are two people.. two guys, both attractive.

"Who's Larry?" I question and the girl jumps up with a huge smile on her face.

"Larry is the ship name for Harry and Louis. They're my OTP." she smiles and looks at the pictures.

"What's a ship name? And what's an OTP?" I wonder aloud.

"Clearly you don't have an ounce of fangirl in you Lern Jergi. A ship name is the combination of two names, normally two people who are together. OTP stands for one true pairing." she traces her fingers up and down my stomach which makes it hard to focus on what she's saying.

"So the Larry people are together?" I never heard of these two together and I'm sure I would have by now. I don't live under a rock.

"Yes they are but unfortunately they're stupid management makes them deny it but they can't hide it from us, we all know they're in love."

"So what would our ship name be?" I ask curious of the answer.

"Camren."

"Camren? Why not Laurmila?" I raise my eyebrow.

"Lern that sounds like a disease. Camren sounds cute. People would totally ship us but with the name Laurmila.... even I wouldn't ship us. No offense." she laughs and I can't help the butterflies rumbling in my tummy.

"I guess you're right. I like Camren." I'll smile and lean up to kiss Camila. Right before our lips touch I hear Camila's phone go off.

"Ugh one second, it's probably just Dinah." she leans over me to get her phone and her chest rubs against mine. I bite my lip hard and try not to focus on the things I could do to her.

"Yeah.. I'm fine.. Okay... That's not necessary.. Dinah I said I'm fine... yes.. I'm not alone... Don't worry about it.. Bye Dinah.. Stop worrying so much I'll text you later... Love you too Cheechee. Bye." Camila hangs up the phone and gives me an apologetic look.

"Don't worry Camz" I smile and kiss her nose causing her to giggle.

"Lern? Can I ask you a serious question? I don't want you to get offended or anything I just always wanted to ask you.." I get a little worried but nod my head. She shared so much with me the least I can do is return the favor.

"Why do you bully people?" the question catches me off guard slightly.

"Honestly, believe it or not, when I was younger I used to be bullied. Normani came along and kind of brought me out of my shell and transformed me but I've always been scared that it will start again so instead I bullied others. I'm not proud about it. At all." I admit.

"But if you were bullied you should know how much it hurts why would you put others through it?" the question makes me think.

"I guess because I didn't think it could affect people the way it did you.. and I will regret that decision my whole life." I answer truthfully.

"Not everyone can be as strong as you Laur" she replied.

"I'm not the strong one babe you are." I kiss her forehead but she looks at me like I have two heads.

"I'm not the strong one. I have the scars to prove it."

"Exactly Camz. You have the scars to prove you're strong. You're still here after everything you've been through. Do you know how strong that makes you?" I rub her cheek softly.

"Only because I'm too scared to actually go through with anything. I can't leave Dinah or my dad.. or you." My heart skipped a beat at the mention of me.

"You think you want to die but in reality you just want to be saved." I reply which causes Camila to make a thinking face. I pull her to me and kiss her. I can't help it her thinking face is so cute.

"What was that for?" the tan girl asks but I can see the small smile creeping on her face.

"You're cute. But we really should get dressed for school." I smile and kiss the pout off of her face.

"Or we can stay here.. I'll give you a tour of my room.. and body" she whispers the last part seductively and I choke on my own saliva. I seem to do that a lot around her.

"Don't try to tempt me to skip school we're gonna be late Camz." I moan out as Camila's lips attach themselves to my neck. I throw my head back and close my eyes as I feel her sucking right above my collarbone.

I give in when I feel her teeth sink into my skin and her hips moving slowly on top of me. "Okay we can stay here. Only today." I breathe deeply.

I look up and see Camila with a smirk on her face. "No I don't want to tempt you. We're gonna be late Lern Jergi." she winks and walks to her dresser.

"Camz seriously?" I sigh and get up. "I don't even have anything to wear." I mumble while Camila giggles adorably.

"I have some things you can wear." she hands me black shorts and a black crop top. I look at the outfit and laugh.

"Why do you always give me clothes that show off my body?" I question but get changed as Camila watches me.

"I like you wearing my clothes and I like your body with clothes that show off. Though I must confess I like your body a lot more without clothes on." I feel my cheeks heating up and I hate the power she has over me already but I love the feeling she gives me.

"Whatever. Shouldn't you be getting dressed too?" I ask and she just takes her shirt off. It's my turn to watch her.

After getting dressed we get into my car and I drive to school excited but anxious about how the rest of this day will turn out.

I'm not sure if Dinah will try to kick my ass, I'm not sure if Mrs. H will accept my apology and I'm not sure how the students at school will handle things.

The one thing I'm sure of is that I am absolutely sure that I will not let anyone ruin what I have with Camz.