11. She is who she is (Part Two)

Juvia was very happy that she had found this university. It seems that everything was going well. Juvia is very well accepted here. No one calls her weird, no one makes fun of her hair and no one laughs by the ways she speaks. And most of all, Juvia is Gray-sama’s room mate.

Juvia had joined a guild and Gray-sama too. Juvia and Gray-sama were on the same guild too. Juvia never thought that college would be so good to her. Juvia also found friends like Lucy, Levy, Erza and dorm head Mira, also Juvia found male friends like Natsu, Gajeel, Jellal, Elfman and the others. More importantly, Gray-sama told Juvia that she was his friend too. Juvia likes Gray-sama but if Gray-sama just thinks of me as a friend then Juvia will be happy as long as Gray-sama is happy.

Then she told stories about her experience in this campus, about how happy she was. She also told stories of I didn’t know, like her classmate Lyon tried to court her but turned him down then she told to that Lyon that she had someone she likes.

Juvia told Lyon that I like Gray-sama. I would never betray my love for Gray-sama even if Gray-sama doesn’t’ love me. Juvia was sure that she loves Gray-sama. It wasn’t just a simple crush. But Juvia really felt bad for Lyon but she likes Gray-sama and no one else.

I’m actually quite proud to have read that. And damn that Lyon who tried to get her away from me. She really does like me. She also had written in her journal about some qualities of me; the ones that I didn’t even know I had in me.

Juvia was shocked that Gray-sama stripped in front of her. But Juvia doesn’t think so lowly of Gray-sama. Juvia thinks that Gray-sama was just feeing hot but we have air conditioner in this room, why would he strip off his clothes?

I laughed as I read that but I also felt embarrassed too. I didn’t mean to strip off my clothes. As I remembered, I quickly put back my t-shirt on because she was looking at me with a shock face. We were both studying at the table when I did that. I just felt comfortable back then that’s why I stripped off my shirt.

Gray-sama is so kind for always helping Juvia…

Gray-sama had a cute face when he sleeps…

Gray-sama always smiles at Juvia. Does Gray-sama smiles also to every girl in the campus? Juvia bet he does. He was perfect, after all.

I had known from what she writes that she had insecurities in herself. She is perfect but why the hell she still has that kind of insecurities? She also said that she wasn’t like Mira, who is appealing to men, and she said that she didn’t have a smile like Lucy had. I don’t want to say anymore of her issues because it annoys me. I love her for the way she looks, the way she smiles, laughs, acts, and speaks and everything about her. She didn’t have to compare herself to anyone because she is already perfect for me.

Juvia invited Gray-sama for dinner. It was Valentine’s Day. Juvia plans to confess to Gray-sama. Juvia hopes that Gray-sama will love Juvia. Juvia even make chocolates for Gray-sama. I hope Gray-sama will love it.

Juvia is confused. Gray-sama hugged Juvia at the mall but when we got home, he only said that he will move to Loke’s room. Why would Gray-sama do that? Did Juvia do anything wrong to her Gray-sama? Juvia is depressed right now. Nobody likes Juvia after all. She was just a gloomy woman who resembles the rain. Nobody likes Juvia.

All I can read is all her sadness and depressions she had been through towards me. Damn, I really am an idiot. I started to feel guilty again and I looked at Juvia in her room. She looked at me and gave me a smile. I sighed as I read her journal. She has been through a lot. She’s been hurt by bullies and I had also hurt her. Damn.

Juvia wants to forget Gray-sama but she just can’t. Juvia has been writing letters for Gray-sama but never send it to him. Juvia was scared. Juvia was alone. Juvia just wants to forget.

Then, I started to read her letters for me.

Dear Gray-sama,

Juvia was alone. She didn’t know what to do. She didn’t know if she can endure being alone anymore. Nobody likes Juvia. Did Gray-sama like Juvia? Why would Gray-sama leave Juvia after she had confessed to Gray-sama? Why would Gray-sama hugged Juvia? Does that mean that you had liked Juvia? Juvia would accept whatever answer, Gray-sama…but why…why…

Juvia loves Gray-sama. Please, come back.

From all those letters, I can tell her how she loves me so much and how I badly hurt her. Twenty letters for me, and all I can read is ‘Gray-sama, Juvia really loves you so much’ and how she would willingly protect me, take care of me, how she wanted me so badly. And I read her last letter.

Gray-sama,

I want to forget you that’s why Ju-, no I had been trying to use first person. Maybe that way I will be accepted by society. No one will laugh and hurt Juvia anymore. I want to forget you Gray-sama. You hurt me, badly. I still have friends in the guild so I will just try to forget you. I will just call you Gray. Good bye Gray. I had loved you.

That hurt me a little. Although our relationship was in good terms now, I still didn’t know how she felt back then. I feel really bad for hurting such precious woman like Juvia. She was alone for a long time but I didn’t know that. I always see her smiling at me, I thought of her as a strong woman. Yeah, she can be a little weak because of her asthma condition but she was always smiling, laughing but that’s what I only thought. Deep inside of her is a lonely and alone woman. But I am here now; I can be there for her. I walked towards her room and I hugged her tight.

“Juvia, you won’t be alone anymore.” She hugged me in return.

“Juvia knows that. She had Gray-sama now.” She said. “I love you, Gray-sama.” she said

“I love you”. I pushed her arms slightly to see her face. I was a bit shocked by what she said.

“Well, Juvia--” I kissed her on the lips. It sounded really weird but I love it.

“I love you, too, Juvia.” I said to her then she smiled. “Well how about I cook dinner for you?” I just wish that she would agree. Then, she frowned.

“Gray-sama didn’t finished Juvia’s journal, right?” What? That’s her reply? So lame.

“No, I rushed towards you after reading your last letter for me. Why?”

“Nothing, Gray-sama. Well, if Gray-sama wants to cook, can Juvia assist you?”

“Fine. You’ll just assist me, let me cook, ‘kay?”

She giggled. I know that she will interrupt me cooking later on. “Gray-sama really knows Juvia.”

Then, we started to cook. Juvia helped me with chopping the vegetables and I assigned her what she would do. When I started to chopped some vegetables, she scolded me to hold the knife carefully, as if I’m to be cut by this. And scolded me to used this and that and don’t hold this and that. I really felt that it was payback time, after I had scolded her a thousand times in cleaning. But I just smiled because she was Juvia.

She may be weird but that’s the reason I like her, no that’s the reason I love her; the way she speaks, the way she is. She had been through a lot but that made her even more beautiful, not just the outside but also inside. She may not have friends from before but she had friends now. She may be lonely and alone before but the guild is with her now and she also had me now. She’s not weird, she’s unique. She’s one in a million. Then, I remember something.

“Hey, Juvia” I said as I am stirring the soup. “Who’s Lyon?”

She startled. Oops, did I say something wrong? I am the boyfriend, right? I have the right to know.

“Lyon likes Juvia but she turned him down because Juvia loves Gray-sama.” She said it shyly. “Then, Lyon also comforted Juvia when Gray-sama left but Juvia thinks of him as a friend.”

“So, is he handsome?” I raise my eyebrow a bit.

“Not as handsome as my Gray-sama” She said as she hugged me at my back.