Chapter 13

Remus

Mary is called in to check on Regulus' ankle, and Lily tags along. And, of course, once Dorcas and Marlene hear about it, they show up, too, packing the bus full to capacity. Regulus sits on one couch, blushing up a storm with everyone's eyes on him. James tells the story of his fall perched on the counter, complete with grand hand gestures and dramatic pauses. It gets Regulus giggling, which serves to both distract him from Mary's prodding and make Sirius smile. Both are pluses in my book.

When James makes it to the more tender part of the day, he brushes over it with, "So, I got him back here and washed up. And then we called Mary. Just in case he did, you know, actually break something."

"Well, as far as I can tell, he didn't," Mary says, reaching for a clean ace bandage. "Just sprained. I'll wrap it up, and I'd stay off of it for a about a week. And then start walking on it and see how it does. Yeah?" Regulus nods, and we all watch, rapt, as she wraps his ankle up carefully.

"See, Prongsie, that's how you wrap a foot," Sirius teases. "I should've gotten a picture of your poor attempt earlier and framed it."

"Hey, I was...wet. And cold. And muddy," James protests.

Mary chuckles, secures the end of the bandage, and pats Regulus' knee softly. "There you go, love. I'll get you some ice." She wanders over to the fridge.

"Well, since we're all here," Marlene says from where she's cozied up in Dorcas' lap in the drivers' seat. "Shall we just do our farewell dinner now? Or do we want to escape to the outdoors?"

The reminder sends a pang through my chest. We go our separate ways tomorrow - Marlene and Dorcas to a wedding shoot in Colorado, Lily and Mary back to Florida for the start of the school year, and us on to Wisconsin to visit my mom. The end of the summer and the splitting up of our group always makes me a bit sad. It's odd to think of us not being together after tonight.

"Let's get a fire started. I think it's dry enough out there," James says, hopping off the counter to peek out the windows. "And if it starts raining again, we can come in here. No big deal."

Everyone shuffles toward the door, and Sirius jumps up to help Regulus down the stairs and to a camping chair. Regulus looks like he'd rather not accept the help, but after slipping a bit on the stairs, he clings to Sirius' shirt for dear life.

Lily follows James to the door and stops the two of us before we can leave. "Is, uh, is Sirius alright? He looked pretty shaken earlier."

I turn to James. I'm not sure how much Lily knows about Sirius' childhood. Even I don't know a whole lot still. Lily must have picked things up from the little comments Sirius drops, but I don't know how much Sirius even wants her to know.

"Seeing Regulus hurt was a lot for him," James says simply. That's putting it mildly, but Lily seems to understand the weight of that statement and nods slowly.

"Got it. Anything we can do?" she asks.

James smiles softly. "Just be your amazing, loving self, Lils."

Dinner is loud with laughter and the sizzling of hot dogs over the fire. Lily's potato salad reminds me off Mom's, and Marlene brings over a perfectly ripe sliced watermelon. The next morning is more somber as hugs are exchanged and Regulus' phone is passed around for the girls to put their numbers in. Somehow, in the two months he'd been here, he never once put their numbers in.

"Well, I didn't need to when I could just walk over and talk to them, did I?" he grumbles, looking distinctly put out at the fact that he won't be able to do that anymore. I couldn't agree more.

Dorcas ruffles his hair...and then they're gone.

We're leaving today, too, but we take our time to pack and one more dip in the lake. We do one more lap around the campsites for trash and then gather to map our course. I'm a bit surprised when Sirius lingers once we've settled on a route. We watch James and Regulus climb the bus steps carefully, James keeping his hands out to make sure Regulus doesn't take another tumble.

"You good?" I ask.

He nods and smiles. "I was just going to ask if I could drive with you today."

I blink at him. It's not the first time he's asked - not even the first time I've let him. And I always feel a bit guilty leaving James alone in the bus. But he's not alone this time, is he? He has Regulus. And honestly, the thought of Sirius Black in my passenger seat again - especially after everything that's happened recently - makes me slightly giddy.

"Sure. You got snacks?"

He does, and he joins me in the van with a package of Oreos and a bag of Reese's minis that he hands to me throughout the day as he blasts Queen and ACDC and Hozier. We twist through the mountains behind James, slowed by his caution but not caring in the least. We don't have a specific destination today, just to get as far as we can toward Glacier National Park.

It's how the next several days go. We take a day break in Glacier for a hike and some last stunning views in the Rockies before we cross the flattest, most boring part of the United States. No offense to Montana and the Dakotas, they're just not the most visually appealing. Maybe one day, I'll plan a trip and find some specific things to see. For now, we drive through the flatness with the windows down and music blasting.

As soon as we cross the border into Wisconsin, it feels like home. The rolling green hills and dairy farms welcome me like a hug. And when we pull onto Mom's street, I feel like I might actually cry. Mom is waiting on the porch, and Sirius hangs halfway out the window to yell to her.

"Hope Lupin!" he calls. "Beautiful as ever."

If I didn't know Sirius, I would think he was only being nice to my mom to get in good with me. But I do know him. And I've seen him with Mom the handful of times James and Sirius have insisted on following me home before heading to the Potters' for Thanksgiving or Christmas. He adores her. She adores him. And I adore how much they adore each other.

"Hello, Sirius, darling," she greets when he jogs up the porch stairs and scoops her into a hug.

I'm only a few steps behind, and I poke Sirius in the shoulder a few times. "Excuse me. That's my mom. I should get to hug her first."

Sirius lets her down gently. "So sorry. But I believe Hope likes me more, so..."

Mom shakes her head, smiling so wide, I think her face might split. "Oh, you two. Come here, my boy."

She drags me into a hug, pressing onto her tiptoes to reach me even as I stoop to reach her. This is one of the biggest downsides of travelling - I don't see her nearly often enough. But it's always amazing coming home, settling into her warmth and smelling her chocolate chip cookies through the open front door.

When she finally pulls back, she squishes my face between her hands. "How are you, sweetheart?"

"M'good, Mom. Promise."

She nods and does a double take over my shoulder. "James Potter. Get over here."

James takes his turn, hugging Mom softly and sweetly. The kind of hug only James can give. And then Mom turns her gaze on Regulus.

"You must be Regulus," she says, trotting down the stairs to where Regulus is hovering nervously with his hands deep in his pockets.

"Yes, ma'am," he says. My heart clenches painfully, and I look over to Sirius. He's pursing his lips and rocking on the balls of his feet, somewhere between hopefully and hesitant. I don't blame him.

"Are you up for a hug?" God, I love her. How did I get so lucky?

Regulus hesitates for only a moment before nodding. Mom folds him into her arms gently, and he all but melts.

When she releases him, she keeps an arm around his shoulders and smiles at us all. "Welcome home, my beautiful boys."

***

James, Sirius, and Regulus conspicuously leave Mom and I in the living room at the end of our after dinner movie. James and Sirius head out to grab laundry, and Regulus insists on doing the dishes. So, Mom and I sit on the couch and turn on a random episode of Great British Baking Show in the background.

Mom pulls my feet into her lap and starts kneading my arches. "Regulus is such a sweet boy. Definitely Sirius' brother."

"Yeah, for sure," I agree, laying back against the arm of the couch and relaxing under her touch.

"How is he doing? He's been with you - What? Two months?"

"Just over, I think." I shift a little and try to be careful with my answer. "He's good, I think. Better, for sure. He was even quieter when he came out to California. But he and Sirius have been...reconciling, I guess. I told you Sirius invited a few of his friends out last week, right?" She hums. "That was good for him, I think. Both of them actually."

She hums again, switching to my other foot. There's something swirling around in her mind. I can see it. Feel it.

I nudge her with my toe. "What?"

"Nothing, I just..." She smirks slightly. "I've just noticed you and Sirius seem a bit closer this visit, is all."

I blush a bit, and when she looks over at me, I know I've been caught. "Mom," I groan, covering my face with my hands. She chuckles lightly. "How did you - How long -"

"Oh, darling, you've been obvious for a while," she teases. "Am I right, then? You two are..."

"No, actually. We..." I look up at the ceiling fan spinning lazily above us. "We talked about it, though. Sirius...Sirius told me likes me just before we got to Seattle. And I...Well, I shut down a bit."

She clucks her tongue gently. "Remus..."

"I know, but Mom...It's Sirius. He's...He's amazing. I think I've -" I swallow. "I think I fell for him the first time I met him."

"And you've told him that?"

"I've told him I feel the same way," I admit. "And I...I told him I'm scared."

"Scared of what, sweetheart?" I give her a look, and she melts. "Oh, Remus..." She shakes her head and pulls me until I'm sitting. "You can't let that keep you from loving someone, darling. You know that."

"I know. I know, but I'm so scared, Mom." I rub at my eyes. "I can't get...Dad's voice out of my head telling me no one would want me, that no one would want to touch me, that I'd...infect people, hurt people. And I can't do that to him, Mom. I can't."

Mom's jaw sets dangerously, and I recognize the face immediately. I don't bring up Dad often, and when I do, Mom always looks like this. "Remus, your father is wrong. Was wrong. Will always be wrong. There will be people who won't understand, will look at you differently. But I don't think Sirius is one of those people. In fact, I know he isn't. You've told him, haven't you?"

"Yes."

"Then..."

The thing is, I know it's ridiculous. But does Sirius really know what he's getting into? Does he really understand?

"He doesn't know...everything. The whole story. He just knows about my diagnosis, not how...I got it."

Mom purses her lips. "That's your story to tell, darling. Always. But I think Sirius would like to know, would be so sweet about it. And at the very least, you've got to talk to him about why you're scared, darling. He cares about you. He'll understand."